Went forth and multiplied

While many folks from Metro Manila are currently enjoying their four-day long weekend starting today, I decided to just stay home and not roll with the crowd flowing out of the metro. This is just like holy week hello. I usually jump the holidays before or after, and I rarely go during. I guess I'm lucky enough to afford that because of the nature of my work and our schedules so yes, I consider myself lucky.

Decided to also beef up my online presence again. I'm doing multi-tasking stuff here again as usual. I am writing my usual contributing writer articles then also checking papers from school then also tinkering with my blogs and doing this whole ginormous project of transferring my content from Multiply.Com. Ever since they announced they're shutting down, it just boggled me how years of content could be shifted out of there.

I started  my leaflens multiply account as an offshoot of this one. I wanted a more dynamic site and that one was a portal of sorts. Before social networking sites became popular like Facebook, we had Multiply because it combined social networking and blogging. You get to add photo albums and have specific sections for reviews. That's what I'm doing now, shifting out the film reviews I did and dumping them all to my film review blog. Also my book and TV reviews I am dumping them all into my media and pop culture blog. But the blog posts I am not sure about.

sometimes it's better to blog in private

What I liked about Multiply is it could also control who gets to see your content. If you feel like posting a blog entry to be viewed by the public or by specific contacts only (just like in Facebook), then you could control it. Only your contacts or specific contacts could see some posts. Thing is, I blogged very privately in that space and I'm not so sure if I should dump them back here in such a public space. But still, it will be archived in a chronological order still, so old posts will still remain as old posts -- buried. Hm I don't know. Should I?

A lot of the things I blogged about there focused on one past relationship, something which I don't really want to bring back anymore. Yes, even the memories. Yeah, me, someone who has been journaling like crazy since I was in high school and who keeps all of these personal historical archives of mine up to now, contemplating on deleting several portions of my life as documented in that blog journal. I don't know. The jury is still out. Should I publicize those posts or not? Remains to be seen.

In the meantime, just enjoy the long weekend folks. Stay safe. And yes, thanks for reading.

barely breathing

No, I haven't fallen into a ravine of forgetfulness. I was just merely trying other platforms.

And with that, a cross-post. Here's me trying out this Tumblr thing, making a new Leaflens offshoot that's meant to be a travel blog which will also collapse an earlier food blog I started. It's at Leaflens Lamyerda, with a longish entry about my latest travel -- to the beach of San Juan, La Union.

I am also in Twitter universe now. Add me up as @leaflens. Still trying to get the hang of it. Bear with me.

And in a few minutes, I turn 38. Not a good age to be queer in the Philippines but it's a great year to be alive on earth.

Just saying.

bowing down to the universe, ready for the next cycle.
(San Juan, La Union / April 2011 photo by superfriend L)

tumbling tripping

My good friend emailed me in good old-fashioned way this meme thing that you have to fill out, those getting to know you thangs of yore. Of course in the information superhighway, yore means like 2-3 years ago, or pre-FB.

It was a nice experiment, seeing how people don't seem to be doing these sort of things outside Facebook. But I still posted mine on FB since it's easier to tag my friends there. But I'm reposting it here just the same.

Good way to kill time while pain is killing your lower back because of the dreaded monthly curse. These times of the month, I hate being a woman, I tell you.

---------

welcome to my planet.
[at the griffith observatory
in los angeles, california
/ april 2010]

tumbling tripping

sabi sa instructions, post one day at a time. e kinarir. so eto. tapos send back to people. tag na lang, easier.

sa tumblr daw dapat ito. e wala akong tumblr. kaya tumbling na lang.

kung di kita na-tag, sige lang din. sagot ka tas tag me. huway nat.


Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.

1 - love yourself more. like now na. please lang.
2 - get a room na kasi and get it over with! dare! hahaha
3 - stop looking. it will come, sooner than you think.
4 - congratulations for being strong. stronger pala.
5 - don't worry, tatama din ako sa lotto.
6 - take it easy.
7 - i-petition mo na ko. like now na. hahaha!
8 - well, salamat na lang din.
9 - pucha ano ba talaga iq mo? curious ako. sa totoo lang.
10 - geez. talagang they put the A in biatch because of you, 'no?


Day Two: Nine things about yourself.

1 - i don't drink coffee after 6pm. or else i won't be able to sleep.
2 - i know how to ride a skateboard. kahit may ayaw maniwala.
3 - lately, mas gusto kong magsulat in filipino. ewan kung bakit.
4 - i'm beginning to dislike eating chocolate. afraid!
5 - i stopped eating rice na. congratulate me.
6 - i like all things orange. lalo na sa food. like carrots.
7 - i actually like living in buildings than in single detached houses. basta above the ground floor ba.
8 - once upon a time, i took bellydancing lessons. and i miss it.
9 - i miss deeskowdanceeng sa clubs. di ko lang matiis ang usok-usok now.


Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.

1 - just be nice.
2 - wag ka matapobre. lubayan mo ako kung ganun ka.
3 - turn off ang uber-aggressive. mag-bungee jump ka na lang. dun mo ilabas yan.
4 - wag kang manlait nang walang basehan. constructive criticism keri ko.
5 - just care.
6 - just be there.
7 - wag ka makulit. titiradurin ko ilong mo.
8 - ewan ko. play it by ear na lang. characteristics change every year.


Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.

1 - sana tumama ako sa lotto
2 - poonyemas na saddlebags itoh
3 - sana kuminis ulit ang fez ko like back in college.
4 - hm kelan kaya ko ulit makakapunta sa bangkok?
5 - mag-migrate na kaya ako?
6 - stupid people.
7 - may saysay pa ba yan?


Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.

1 - gone to india without roaming around new delhi. olats.
2 - gone to new york without taking at peek at harlem. olats.
3 - gone to LA without trying to stalk jodie foster's house heheh
4 - became heterosexual. olats.
5 - became a cougar. harhar.
6 - turned down a modeling job? malay mo venus raj na pala ako ngayon. char.


Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)

1 - the one who said "lilipas din yan. ano papanoorin nating sine?"
2 - the one who said "aliwin mo muna sarili mo. eto 300 dollars."
3 - the one who said "maghanap ka na lang ng bagong kaibigan"
4 - the one who said "kelangan yumaman na tayo libay. next year."
5 - the one who said "anong baka kasalanan mo? stop that."


Day Seven: Four turn offs.

1 - yabanggacious full of themselves peeps esp yung wala namang ibubuga talaga
2 - pa-victimization forever moda
3 - mapanlait ng race class gender sexual orientation disability social status intellectual capacity lalo na if they use the word of god against people to justify their hate
4 - hindi witty


Day Eight: Three turn ons.

1 - smartness
2 - kindness
3 - happiness


Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.

>:) - at work
:P - at play


Day Ten: One confession.

1 - i crush tyang amy? hehe.wala ko maisip. ibubulong ko na lang later. painumin mo ko.

archiving, gadget dyke-ing and tomato salad-ing

new posts are up. i began archiving the last two months' worth of columns ko for Manila Times sa new Silid-Aklatan leaflens horcrux blog heheh. meron ding latest post sa Karinderya ni Leaflens horcrux featuring my experimental gourmet tinkering featuring the french tomato and egg salad chorva i occasionally prepare. 'yan kasi ang kinain ko kanina. may recipe dun hehe try niyo.

para ngang nagkaroon ng maraming horcrux ang leaflens, aney? if you're not familiar, a horcrux is what voldemort did to his soul sa harry potter - tore them up to like 7 pieces yata if i remember and stored them in different items. remember "HP and the Chamber of Secrets?" ang isang horcrux niya ay yung diary ni tom riddle na nakuha ni ginny weasley sa book na ito. tapos dun sa huling film na The Half-Blood Prince, ito yung nilakbay nina harry at dumbledore sa may dagat-dagatang factor na locket ek. more of the horcruxes in the last book, The Deathly Hallows, which i just finished reading via ebook mga 2 weeks ago yata. can't wait for this film, although irita ako kasi yung chakang director na naman ang magdidirek. oh well...

kaya ayan, inspired ako sa horcruxes heheh.

speaking of ebooks, grabe at naaadik ako sa procurement ng mga ito hehe. ever since i decided to upgrade my cellphone into a smartphone, winner na winner na ako dito. pampatulog ko ito e, kasi di mo kelangan ng ilaw o lamp para magbasa. my new cellphone is a palm treo pro na nabili ko sa ebay. US-made at para rin siyang blackberry pero cheaper and way better ang design kesa dun sa nokia e71 series na muntikan ko na ring bilhin. at dahil windows mobile ang platform niya, marami ka ring puwedeng ma-install na software, tapos may micro sd card slot pa, at sa binili kong 8gig card, aba e buhay na tayo sa storage niyan hehe. hay umiral na naman ang pagka-gadget dyke ko hehe.

sample shot from the treo pro
built-in cam. not bad, eh.

tapos my superfriend xe taught me to download this ebook reader software called mobipocket, which converts any kind of files into the mobi format *.prc yata if i'm not mistaken. so if you download msword versions of ebooks or kahit text o notepad lang and lalo na pdf, you convert it into mobi to enjoy reading it. grabe panalo talaga ito. kahit nakapila ako sa bank, nasa jeep o fx, basta di magulo ang kapaligiran, puwede ako sumaglit na magbasa hehe. ayuz.

xe even bluetoothed to me (talagang ginawa siyang verb aney? bluetoothed hehe) some contemporary titles, kasi nga puro classics ang dina-download ko (kasi safer, part of the public domain na kasi) pero may nakikita rin nga kasi kaming new titles na libre, di mo bibilhin. he just gave me the complete anne rice vampire novels and i'm excited to start that as soon as i finish this kinda sucky paulo coelho biographical novel he wrote, the pilgrimage. nasimulan na e, so tapusin na lang. basta ang dami pang titles. grabe tuma-tumbling talaga ako sa teknolohiyang ito hehe. super-enjoy siya ha.

oh well. o siya, yan na muna.

fixing the fix

if you follow this blog, you could see some changes. well, i decided to fix the site further, to the best of my limited tech capabilities.



tanaaan! haha parang ang laki ng change, hane? onti lang naman.

i updated the header thingie there but the photo size kinda varies depende sa pagbukas mo ng window. i still have yet to incorporate the findings of my more tech-savvy html-literate jowaers kung paano ayusin iyon. ganyan na muna for now heheh. the sunset photo is mine, taken mga 2006 yata when i was in lipa, batangas for my first directorial gig for television.

i also updated the links at the left navigational side there, removing links and updating them. i also listed my new spurts, my other blog projects. when i was looking for other free blog hosts in the early 2000s kasi, blogger was the happiest of the lot. i didn't like the other sites because they are too techy nga kasi, including wordpress. but since they have an alternative now from their .org days to an easier .com model, i decided to give wordpress a try. but of course i'm not letting this one go. i still like blogger's simplicity, and i'm staying here perhaps of loyalty baga. it still works for me kasi, so there.

so i am now sharing with you guys my other sites. since mid-2009, i've been meaning to create a more varied blog pero ayoko rin naman kasing magkakasama ang lahat ng engagements ko sa iisang lugar lang. sometimes it also tires me to trawl through other people's sites like that, so ayokong i-apply sa sarili kong site iyon. kaya i decided para mas focused, gagawa na lang ako ng separate sites for my different chorvas of writing. saka gusto ko rin mag-experiment sa wordpress kasi. my friend told me i should get my domain name na lang tapos link all of these there, pero eh... this works for me na naman, e. well, isipin ko ulit in the next decade. saka ayoko na rin yata ng konsepto ng portal ek masyado, kasi nga trawling through again ang drama dun. but i'm still keeping a couple of my multiply.com sites just for storage talaga. it's really useful din that way, e.

so like i listed there sa kaliwa, other leaflens offshoots are these buds:

TAKILYA NI LEAFLENS - ito yung film review site ko. basta pelikula, nariyan. diyan ko na rin ia-archive ang mga dati ko pang film reviews mula nang magsimula akong mag-post ng reviews online. sayang nga at di ko malalagay riyan ang old old old (1999, pare) localvibe.com film review column ko entitled Cut To Cut, pero i'm still trying to trawl through the internet graveyards for stored caches of some posts. i saw some kasi e kaya kakaririn ko yan soon!

LEAFLENS KARINDERYA - ito lang sana ang isa pang offshoot ng leaflens na talagang kinarir ko before ondoy. pero since ondoy hit, nabitawan ko na nga ang mga blog projects kong ito. kaya lahat sila, ngayon lang nabubuhay talaga. at ayan na nga. bale photo blog ito dapat, pero dahil madaldal ako hehe, may kuwento na rin. weird kasi ako, mahilig akong mag-piktyur ng mga pagkain. suggestion ito ng aking faculty colleague na, noong bago ko i-devour ang sofitel buffet plate ko, piniktyuran ko muna, at sabi niya "you're really an artist" heheh. at mag-start daw ako ng food journal. huway nat! kaya eto, online. parang 'yung kakilala kong talagang food blogger at sumikat dahil doon, si lori baltazar na officemate ko once upon a time sa isang IT company, na nasa dessertcomesfirst.com ang food blog. ganda ng cam niya kaya ganda din ng food photos niya.

LEAFLENS MEDYO-MEDYO MEDIA - my media and communications blog, na puwede ring maging repository ng mga formal and informal writings ko related to media industries. pang-mass comm baga. huway nat, di ba? pero again, like all my other blog projects, hindi ito academic-style writing. hehe allergic ako sa ganun e. kahit na dapat e nagsusulat din ako ng ganun, kasi academic ako. struggle 'yan, pare. oh well.

THE DIVINE MISS L. CHAR! - eto ang multiply site ko for my students and professional contacts na gusto akong ka-network. i don't really blog here anymore kaya ginagawa ko na lang student-oriented ito, kung may announcements for classes i teach, mga ganun na lang. easier kasi to track people that way.

SILID-AKLATAN, SILID-SINING-SINING-AN - eto naman ang repository ng book reviews ko, in an effort to excite myself more sa pagbabasa. nitong nakaraang dekada, nakakapagbasa lang kasi ako kapag may kelangang i-review for work/raket, o kaya required sa MA class, mga ganun. kaya i vow to read more this coming decade. tapos dito ko na rin ire-repost ang mga manila times column entries ko para di siya mawala, archive baga. ayuz. wala pa masyado laman ito pero lalamanan ko na sa mga darating na araw, tulad ng ibang sites.

o siya, bookmark-bookmark na kung interesado ka. ipo-post ko rin naman dito kapag may bagong entry ako sa mga sites na iba. so ayun.

as for this original Leaflens space, this will remain as my personal blog. but not too personal na rin siguro. some of those musings i keep somewhere else, and some i share rin naman here. and as always, this will be my space to talk about LGBT issues and stuff. personal and LGBT-oriented na ito. lagi namang ganun e, so ipapagpatuloy lang.

o siya. farmville muna hehe.

angie loves me, and i love her

hanep sa pamatay-oras ito. tama ka koya hahaha!



well, i've always wanted to be an astronaut. kaya lang di ko kinering mag-shift sa BS Physics from B Fine Arts before. kaya naging BA Film na lang. so i just filmed my dreams heheh. chos.



and yes, i also want to be a jedi knight. until now. and my name is...

Cast off your old name! Your Jedi name is CANLI FOMAR of the planet prozac! Find your Jedi Name!

ayuz!

dahil sleep ever eludes me...

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

sabi na eh! einstein is moi!

What Classic Movie Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

hahaha natawa ako dito! why can't i be ALL ABOUT EVE instead? that film is so fucking queer that it's not aware of its own quality! hahaha. choz. seriously, i could also be SPARTACUS. homoerotic din hahaha. o kaya REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE. ayuz...

pamatay-diwa

omg! wala nang mas su-swak pa sa advise na ito from the stars today...

Taurus Horoscopes

Sunday, Jun 29th, 2008 -- You may want to kick back and enjoy yourself today, but others seem to have something different in mind for you. Although you might try going along with their plans, don't worry if you reach a point where you think that you've had enough. Just take a deep breath and tell everyone what your boundaries are so there are no surprises when you go your own way.

haaay naku... siya sige na nga. grabe lang. as in. ever.

at dahil sa marami akong isiping ayokong isipin, patol muna sa isang pamatay-isip...

1. If someone were to tell you they like you right now, would you care?

-- depende sa fez mama. kung bet, huway nat. pansinin natin. hi hello lang, ganun.

2. Do you still talk to the person you fell hardest for.
-- no, because right now, i don't know who that is, that one i fell hardest for. that's a trick question my dear. you talking to me? you talking to me?

3. Where did you last sleep other than your house?
--my girlfriend's house

4. Do you have a best friend?

-- yes. myself. always has been.

5. Do you smoke?

-- yes but methinks i should stop

6. Do you remember what you were like a year ago?

-- at the throes of an abusive friendship. good thing i was able to escape

7. Who was the last person you cried in front of?
-- i cannot remember. i hate crying in front of people. i think my gf

8. Where are you right now, and how do you feel about where you are?
-- i am at my place, and i am at peace here, and i do not want to change that anytime soon, and those who know me better accept that fact

8. Can you vote next election?
-- yes

9. Wht are you listening to?
-- right now, wla

10. When will your next kiss be?
-- that's also my question

11. Where do you keep your money?
-- at the bank?

12. Do you love someone right now?
-- yes, this is indeed a trick question

13. Do you like someone right now?
-- another one!

14. Who was the last person to call you pretty?
-- a friend of my gf.

15. Ever have a sleepover with the opposite sex?
-- of course. my male friends are eunuchs and i am an amazona so it's safe

16. Where did your last hug take place?
-- inside my gf's house

17. Where were you at 3:02am?
-- kanina? in bed

19. How do you feel about the person who texted you last?

-- we are actually contemplating if we are rehiring him. parang ayaw na namin. ganun.

20. Do you use smiley faces on the computer a lot?

-- not really

21. Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?

-- oo naman. this is a special talent. make-up pa while driving. kaya mo yun? ako oo. eyeshadow and all.

22. Who did you last go out to eat with?

-- my lesbian friends and their gay friends from UP babaylan. we had a hoot!

23. Do you have unlimited texts?
-- no

25. When is the last time you took a nap?
-- accidentally lang. yesterday after eating late lunch

26. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
-- my gf

27. Do you talk about your feelings or hide them?

-- depende sa okasyon.

28. Do you wear glasses?

-- yes, and i look good in it hehehhehe chos

29. What are you looking forward to in the next month?

-- the end of these darn centennial celebs and doing admin work for them aarrrrrrrggghhhh

30. The way to win your heart?
-- is to simply know that you care about me, and SHOW IT!

31. how was your weekend?
-- peaceful, to say the least

32. Are you dating the last person you kissed?

-- yes

33. What are you like when you're drunk?

-- inebriated? eloquent actually.

34. The last person you fought with?
-- i cannot remember. oh yeah, some girl who still owes me 6,000 pesos

35. What were you doing last night at 10pm?
-- watching dvd, i think.

36. How long is your hair?
-- short

37. Last text message received?

-- someone telling me he cannot make it to a meeting

38. Name what's on your mind right now?
-- sex? hehehe. no, actually it's bangkok. and the thought of going there in november for the loi krathong festival and their gay pride march. we'll see

39. What were you last listening to?
-- i cannot remember

40. When was the last time you sang out loud?
-- kahapon yata. some rent song

41. What do you really want right now?
-- to be reassured that i am still cared for

42. When was the last time you got yelled at?
-- i cannot remember. no one really yells at me, except for praning co-workers who think the universe is conspiring against them, and blaming me for that. oh yea, i was yelled at by someone who thinks this way

43. Who do you really want to see right now?

-- my self, only happier

44. Are you a player?

-- funny enough, someone told someone i know that i was, because i allegedly dumped my previous ex for someone else daw kaya i was branded as a "playgirl!" OMG! i like that new title! so bogus yet so cool! hahahahha. that beats the chismis before about me that i am a marijuana smuggler who flies in bloke-bloke of weed from dumaguete to manila in the early 2000s! hahahaha! this playgirl chismax is definitely better than the druglord one! hahahhaha

45. Who was the last person you slept in a bed with?

-- my gf who else? contrary to 44, i am a monogamous bitch

life as we know it

kanina pa ako nakamasid sa langit dahil inaabangan ko ang pagguhit ng kidlat sa itim na kalawakan nito habang paminsan-minsan, nagpaparamdam din ang kulog.

nagtataka rin ako kung bakit umuulan kahit na narinig ko kay ivan mayrina kanina na may ITCZ (sabi sa gfx mapa niya) sa may bandang mindanao (pero bakit dito ang patak?).

gusto ko sanang magreklamo pero bigla kong binawi nang maramdaman ko ang halimuyak ng hanging dumampi sa aking balat nang humarap ako sa bintana. nalimutan ko na na gusto ko nga pala ang pakiramdam nito, na sa panandaliang sandali ay napapayapa ang kalooban mo dahil may yumakap sa iyong pakiramdam na nais mo. inaasam ko na ngayon na sana, marami-rami pang dumampi at yumakap sa akin para mas mapayapa ko pa ang pakiramdam sa loob ko...

pero dahil sa mahirap umasa sa wala o sa di sigurado, babalik na lang tayo sa ating mga nakaugaliang gawain at panandaliang pagtakas sa pagtatanong at pangungutya ng sarili sa sarili.

*

if you knew what i listen to, would you get clues of who i am?

my top 10 favorite songs of all time, in order:

1. downtown by petula clark
2. moonriver (composed by henry mancini, as sung by audrey hepburn in the film BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY'S)
3. time after time (the tuck and patti version)
4. don't dream it's over (the sixpence none the richer version)
5. winter by tori amos
6. tomorrow (as sung in the musical film ANNIE)
7. selling the drama by live
8. princes familiar by alanis morissette
9. iris by the googoo dolls
10. somewhere over the rainbow (as sung by judy garland in the film WIZARD OF OZ)


go ahead, deconstruct. analyze. theorize. get some pointers.

we need it. bad.

or maybe it's just me...

what's your top ten? does it reflect who you are?

*

i've been running around the metro, all over, since last week and this week will be continuing that endeavor. lunch here, lunch there, meeting here, meeting there. it doesn't end.

with all this running, i've learned how to deal with public transportation with some kind of zen approach. no sense getting frustrated. it helps if you have a vast ocean of patience to dip into at times like these, like traffic, unwanted chitchats from seatmates, or bad weather.

but sometimes, it feels as if that ocean is shrinking into a sea, and right now, it feels like it is just a puny river. maybe that's why this soul is yearning to stretch to other limits. should i let it? we will see. i remembered wanting to try bikram yoga a few years back. i forget why i chose not to. maybe my inner self needs to stretch. bad.

the soul is also yearning to fly. shall we? bangkok sounds about right at this time but i'd settle for baguio anytime. but why? i have to be sure of the motivation first before i do anything, really. the beach is also beckoning. but i could settle for the pool, anytime.

sometimes, it doesn't pay to think. think too much. woe is moi.

woe is moi.

*

people make funny quotes.

last saturday, i was a speaker in a special event in the metro. when i was introduced to the speaker before me, she smiled and beamed, shook my hand and said, "Wow, you're famous!"

reaction shot: HUH???

apparently, to this group, i have some sort of stature. go figure. things that make you go hmmmm...

this afternoon, as i was looking for a dvd of a film i wanted to watch since last year, i overheard the seller talking to a clueless customer.

seller: eto ser maganda, o. mga giyera-giyera iyan, parang historical ba.
me: (thought balloon) wow may komentaryo si ati...
seller: eto naman ser, mga tomboy sila, pero naging babae rin sa huli...
me: *tumaas muna kilay at tenga* (thought balloon) anoyun? asanyun? anoyun? akinnalang...

*

make contact. if not, it's an awful waste of space.

because mrs. dalloway said she will buy the flowers herself.

*

and this blogthing said of me:

You're 6:49 a.m.

You're the time of day right around sunrise, when the sky is still a pale bluish gray. The streets are empty, and the grass and leaves are a little bit sparkly with dew. You are the sound of a few chirpy birds outside the window. You are quiet, peaceful, and contemplative. If you move slowly, it's not because you're lazy ? it's because you know there's no reason to rush. You move like a relaxed cat, pausing for deep stretches that make your muscles feel alive. You are long sips of tea or coffee (out of a mug that's held with both hands) that slowly warm your insides just as the sun is brightening the sky.

yes, lately it feels as if i am morning personified. but the logic as to why still eludes me.

but the description i agree with.

see, i need stretching.

so stretch.

10 things you chorva about moi

da libay was tagged by da lensky so ito nah! hehe :P

• Each blogger starts with ten random facts/habits about themselves.
• Bloggers that are tagged need to write on their own blog about their ten things and post these rules.
• At the end of your blog, you need to choose ten people to get tagged and list their names.
• Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they're tagged, and to read your blog.

1. I collect nice notebooks. as in kuwaderno ha. paper products kumbaga, preferably handmade and not the mass produced type, like the ones they sell sa duntog store in baguio (buhay pa ba to?). i feel kasi na malapit na silang ma-extinct. e i heart notebooks pa naman.
   
2. I blog to help me fall asleep. i also play computer games to help me fall asleep. ang weird no? e ganun e.
   
3. I once had a "mild word spat" with kuh ledesma. but that's another blog entry. and no, it's not about monique wilson hehehe. ching! basta. kasalanan ni ka pete lacaba yun. hahaha nangdamay! in fairness, i miss her republic of malate venue.
   
4. I used to watch an average of 4 films in a week. ngayon parang goodluck kung maka-4 films a month ako. dunno why.
   
5. I wanted to be an astronaut when i was small. seriously. unlike my sister kasi who's more interested in studying the underwater world a la marine bio mode, ako gusto ko outer space. but lo and behold, pinagpalit ko ang NASA sa Star Wars. and the rest is history...
   
6. Ang dami kong ginagawa lately, sabi nga nila (turo, admin, sulat, sulat pa, thesis, workshop, sulat ulit, direk minsan). pero surprisingly, it doesn't feel that way hehehe. pramis! talaga lang.
   
7. I need to drink a glass of water before going to bed. to ward off chenelyns. basta.
   
8. I can't leave the house without taking a bath.
   
9. I once entertained the thought of auditioning/applying for UP Rep (theater org) during my freshman year. but when my classmate who was applying came to class wearing a bahag and memorizing francis m's rap (he was a diehard metalhead and hated rap), i changed my mind. not to mention may stage fright ang lola mo. noon.
   
10. Pinagtatawanan o dinededma ko lang ang mga taong nagagalit, naninira o nang-aaway sa akin. kadalasan kasi, sila naman ang nakakarma in the future e. karmic retribution works, baby, so be careful -- the universe is watching! >:P
    

i'm tagging ANGIE, OCA-PROGAY, INDI (kung di ka pa na-tag), AVIE, BENG-REKORIDA, SARAH (para magkalaman ang blogs niyo hehehe), XE, OVIE, GERMAINE, ARLENE-LOKNLOL. GO!

tapwe tanong

dahil nagpapaantok at ayaw nang magtrabaho muna hehe... nakaw sarbey mula sa downelink post ni ms dj lush

------

1. Is someone in love with you?
:: gosh, i certainly hope so! this girl na jowa ko. :)

2. Do you know anyone named Dan?
:: wala ata

3. What color is your couch?
:: slight orangey sa sala, black sa reading room

4. Has anyone ever mistaken you for a family member?
:: oo. annoying ito.

5. What do you currently want?
::more time to do things

6. Favorite ice cream
:: used to be jamocha ng baskin

9. Does someone like you right now?
:: ewan ko. siguro yung love din ako hehe

10. Say you were given a drug test right now. Would you pass or fail?
:: super pass ateng. which reminds me, i better call my supplier...chos.

11. Favorite pop-tart flavor?
:: i don't eat this

12. Do you know anyone in jail/prison?
:: no but i want to send people i know in prison

13. What are your plans for the weekend?
:: quality time with my girlfriend

14. Do you like the color green?
:: depends on the shade but generally, yea

15. What is your dad's best friend's name?
:: i don't know who his best friend is right now so no

16. Favorite book right now?
:: wala pa

17. Who was the last person to send you a text message?
:: my mom

18. Ever driven into the ghetto to buy drugs?
:: pag feeling ko si angelina jolie ako playing GIA, oo :P

19. Last restaurant you went to?
:: counted ba ang javi's? i got my lamb fix there the other night hehe

20. Favorite kind of candy?
:: the one that doesn't taste like soap

21. Last voice mail you received?
:: wala akong ganun

22. What did you do last weekend?
:: went to my girlfriend's house to be with her and her family

23. What's the first thing you would do with five million dollars?
:: convert it to pesos so i could buy more things and give some to people i love, like my girlfriend and my mom. oh, and finally pay the bank thing for this condo para wala nang monthly-monthly

24. How many hours did you sleep for last night?
:: 8 ata

25. Milkshakes...or Blizzards?
:: both! but mostly, milkshakes rule

26. Who's the last person that you felt was stalking you?
:: i can't say. i think she's reading this hahahahahahaha >:)

27. Have you ever been on your school's track team?
:: yes, i was a meter-dash thingie runner chuva in high school, until the damn boobs grew. so that was the end of my teenage sports endeavors. asar

28. What jewelry are you wearing?
:: not into it anymore

29. What's your middle name?
:: bitch

30. If all of your friends were going on a road trip, would you?
:: oo naman. done that na before lotsa times

31. Favorite drink?
:: ice cold water

32. Do you swear at your parents?
:: swear with, oo. swear at, no.

33. Is your phone right beside you?
:: no

34. Last person you couldn't take your eyes off?
:: yung manong sa fx kasi mukhang mandurukot

35. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?
:: i guess, kasi hindi ako makatulog e

36. Do you untie your shoes every time you take them off?
:: not really hehe

37. What is the color of your bedsheet?
:: blue and white ek

38. Have you ever crawled through a window?
:: crawled, jumped from, went through, yeah

39. Are you photogenic?
:: sana! haha

40. Are you single?
:: sabi nga ni lea salonga as kim sa miss saigon when confronted by that viet evil soldier dude "not anymore!"

41. Where do you spend most of your money?
:: on food! nay, on monthly amortizations! and bills!

42. What was the last thing you did?
:: listen if it's raining (it is)

43. Do you have a tattoo?
:: soon! pramis

44. Do you still watch cartoons on Saturday mornings?
:: what saturday mornings? i get up at noon on saturdays

45. Is there a secret you haven't told any of your friends?
:: if i tell them, e di hindi na secret

46. What time is it?
:: a lil over 1am

47. Have you ever changed your clothes while in a vehicle?
:: oh yeah, and while i am driving! beat that!

48. What are you doing in 2008?
:: getting rid of emotional baggage i've been lugging for years. i wanna travel light this year.

49. What is your ringtone?
:: funny coincidence. it's SELLING THE DRAMA by live, which talks about fake christian televangelists fooling people with false faith. if only for these lines "now we won't be raped / hey hey / now we won't get scarred like that / hey hey"

damn christians

50. What were you doing at 2am last night?
:: figuring out why my blogpost won't appear

patay na naman! + on bookmarking

no, i'm not not in the mood for writing. in fact, i am, o. sobra.

look.
54 words

Speed test

i don't know if that is bad or so-so or okay, but what the hey.

try mo.

*

since i got my laptop gift from my uber-coolest ninang in toronto last late 2006, it was rare that i visited this old machine here. at old talaga. this desktop has seen me in about 4 rented apartments and been with me during two ex-girlfriends.

now, this is my fifth (and now permanent) abode it has seen (just how many i've had is another blog entry), and another current girlfriend (which i hope will stay with me longer than the others combined). i wonder what it will say to me if ever it could speak...

*

so these past few days, it has been a ritual of deletions. deletions to signify moving on. moving on without virtual memories still stored here. stored in a now cool and not dry place. this new place i want to keep in pristine, warm, friendly and serene atmosphere. and the atmosphere needs cleansing. and cleanse we did.

delete delete delete.

tonight, it was all about bookmarks.

someone once told me i could be OC in the computer. of course, since i've always treated my computer as my girlfriend talaga. sino pa ba ang kadamay ko when my heart got broken, my spirit weakened, my mind nearly giving out, and my person rejuvenated by things not yet lost to the dark side. how often has this machine recorded my thoughts for private musings and public consumption? sobrang daming beses na. too many to mention, and to count.

when i reviewed my old files here, i decided it's time to make new categories, new folders, new system of separating things. it was also time to delete old things, stuff that reminded me of horrible people, and tangible signals that comprised the horrific images of my past. delete delete delete.

chugi kayong lahat.

ngayon, napag-trip-an kong burahin na ang mga bookmarked blogs ng marami na either kakilala ko o kilala pero di close. sometimes i wonder why i bookmarked their sites; wala namang kakuwenta-kuwenta. pero ang iba e dead links na kaya talagang kelangan nang tanggalin.

sana lang ganito rin kadali tanggalin ang mga tao at kabuwisitang bumabagabag sa isang tao. minsan iniisip ko, sana totoo yung THE MATRIX, para iha-hack ko ito at hahanapin ang source ng mga taong walang kwenta at ma-delete sila forever, kahit sa recycle bin, temp folder at san pa man. ang sarap lang ng buhay kung ganun. sana iba na rin president evil natin kung ganun, di ba? matagal na siyang na-hack. or someone programmed a virus into her mole and it ate her head na by now.

ang saya saya ng imagination.

well, but we make do with what we have, and we deal with the fate the universe has given us. but of course, being humans, we refuse to sit down and let life pass us by. dahil tulad ng sabi ng reebok ad before, "because life is not a spectator sport."

tara, takbo!

necessary no more: goodbye blog no. 2

i write for different reasons. i blog for different reasons.

necessary nonfiction

narrative recollections, recountings, recantings, and rewritings of stuff not or often told

after creating my first blog, i created my second. it was supposed to be a writer's project.

September 01, 2002

nonfictions...these are essays -- creative nonfiction narratives -- that i have written over the years and i felt like sharing them with the rest of you who don't have anything better to do or who have lots of surfing time and reading time on their hands so please indulge but but but please do not appropriate these notes as your own for the goddesses of copyright infringement are watching well sorry for the partypooper syndrome i just want to make sure that you know what you are doing for i know what i'm doing alright so here goes...

necessary...at the time i wrote them, i felt that they were necessary to write, necessary to comment about something and necessary to let the people know what i think about certain things so if you deem it necessary to read my stuff then go ahead but if not paalam na lang...

posted by libay at 9/01/2002 12:07:00 PM

since i just discovered the jazzed up essay genre now called nonfiction, i decided to give it a try.

BDAY ESSAY 2002 part one

24 april 2002 Wednesday 12.44a

as if I need the calendar to tell me what day it is. It’s my birthday, of course. And I’m turning 29 today. And that’s the last number of my membership into the generation x population. I’m in my late twenties, and next year, things are going to be different because it’s going to be a brand new decade for me. But let’s focus on the now.

I’m 29. so where does that leave me? Here, right smack in the middle of Metro Manila, Philippines, I think. But I’m starting to think globally now. I’m actually contemplating—nay, planning, to migrate to North America. Why? Well, they finally did it. The government is all fucked up, and it’s dragging the whole country down. Whenever I travel to different parts of the country and experience the sights and listen to the qualms of the townsfolk, I get really pissed off because simple governing should do the trick of having all of our lives here experience better things. But does that happen at all? Of course not -- only in places like The Fort, Rockwell and Marikina. Yeah, just when I was decided that I won’t come back there, it improves a heck of a lot. Geez, thanks.

BDAY ESSAY 2002 part seven -- last part

Possible birthday wishes of a late twenties lesbian:

-be with her sweetheart until she’s over a hundred years old
-get to sleep with Angelina jolie once before she turns 35
-open her own business, hopefully a café
-have her first novel published and sell a lot of copies
-win the lotto
-travel to paris with her sweetheart
-buy a brand new sports utility vehicle
-to be as thin as or as fit as Madonna
-have her own house with her sweetheart
-marry her sweetheart in Netherlands or wherever it’s legal
-have her lesbian screenplay realized into film

Important things I learned/realized today:

-A person’s extensive experience in a field doesn’t necessarily translate to his being talented in it. -Learning is very, very different from comprehension.
-Patient networking over the years pays off when you least expect it.
-You should never forget your first love, craft-wise (in my case, photography). Person-wise, yeah, junk it.
-Always be grateful for what you have.
-Never dwell on why you don’t have what you don’t have; you’ll just lose time thinking of how to actually acquire it/them.
-When you’re not that hungry at night, don’t order take-out food. The tendency is to finish it, and you’ll get fatter.
-I should talk to people in person more often.
-I should make it a point to go out with mom at least once a week.
-Music really puts you in a good mood.
-Reading books is still better than reading stuff on a computer screen (downloads form the internet). Books smell better, too. Plus you can lie down in bed pa.

posted by libay at 12/10/2002 08:26:00 PM

still, a blog is a blog.

January 25, 2003

for days now, i've been thinking of thrashing these online journals that i created, thinking that they might end up as some material for some psycho out there to use against me and my loved ones, but that's just me being praning --the product of watching too many CSI episodes, perhaps.

but i thought of just continuing one, one that doesn't have much flab, much flak, much arte. in short, simple lang. ewan ko if this will work. i don't even know if people would be interested to read this, but i'm keeping this for me anyway, so here goes...

i finally decided to keep this one. simple design but i don't mind. i like the colors i chose anyway. and it's for free. :) anyone out there who can give tips, i'm all ears (eyes pala on the net).

history: borrowed the name from an existing book by filipino scholar caroline hau, one of the most intelligent academicians i've met in UP. it's actually "necessary fictions" detaling historical fiction works by pinoy writers etc. i hope she doesn't mind my reworking her title in order to suit my history, or my documentation of it.

...

...

February 03, 2003

i discovered a new weblog site today called diaryland.com. cheesy sounding di ba, but it's a reactionary thing to this blogger thing we have here. for one, hindi siya technically peppered with jargon and all of these programming ekeks. simple lang siya, pero it's too simple naman! minsan feeling ko pang-hello kitty juvenile crowd siya. sa pangalan na lang eh "diaryland" ano ba yun!

pero i opened an account there because that's the tagpuan site of the philippine american literary house workshoppers na sinalihan ko, headed by cecilia manguerra brainard. i'm in an online creative writing workshop now with her plus other writers based in the states and here, and other places like si nadine sarreal sa singapore.

let's see.. there's susan evangelista, veronica montes, marianne villanueva, erma cuizon, and a guy named ben soriano na i've never heard of.

this sounds like fun. sana it is. i joined because i wanted to get back to the atmosphere of having someone critique your creative work on a regular basis, like my MA classes dati. discipline, man, need that to be able to finish my thesis.

hay thesis...but that's another story...

posted by libay at 2/03/2003 11:39:00 AM

a writer can't help but be personal with some posts. but still, the personal touch was related to nonfiction works, mostly reposts from offline ventures.

VERSION

Serenity. I never thought I’d achieve it, never thought I’d have it by my side each and every day of this stage of my life. But I have it, and I’m glad.

What was once an angst-ridden young woman turned out to be a sophisticated lady of cool. Indeed, as some termed me sophisticated, I winced at the thought, attributing it to the get-up I had that day, or night. Maybe my car, but not really. It’s just me and how I carry myself dressed the way I am.

Now, it’s not that simple anymore. Maybe it’s my aura; it has enveloped my being in a positive light. I am no longer one with the darker forces of my mind. Rather, I am one whose heavy side got enmeshed with my creative side, producing works that have significant meaning – without engulfing me in negativity or anything sinister, like before. Now, I am just me. Plain, simple me, on the outside. Still a very complex person, but that’s already a given. Complex without being negative, maybe that’s how I should say it.

Yes, that’s it, perhaps. I can feel it. It’s a new me. An improved version of my being… and I like it.

The sun is shining, the atmosphere is cool, the leaves are so green, and the sky is so blue. I am alone in a house with two floors and two rooms, but I am not lonely. The floors, the walls and the ceilings are white, and it bounces back sunlight all over. Just what I’ve always wanted: a natural reflector of white light, throwing me with the refracted spectrum of colors it hides in its path. I now bathe in these colors without knowing it exactly, without seeing it. But the most important thing here is, I feel it. I feel.

Space – I have lots of it now, share it with someone so dear to me now. No more of that hiding in a box thing and contemplating the troubles of the world in relation to the troubles in my mind. No more unnecessary guests this time, just the invited ones who are always welcome in our home, ones I hold dear in my midst.

It’s just a quarter past eight but I am not complaining. Gone are the days when I would make my bed my longtime companion for most of the regular world’s waking hours. Perhaps I have joined the regular world in this manner, sharing the same dimension at this certain time frame. But I don’t mind. When you have reached this far in life and achieved this much, you, too, would settle in with it, with what it has to offer now, regularly. Or maybe I’ve stopped being nonconformist.

Or maybe not. One look at my spouse would reveal that: she is as fine as I am, built the way I was built, and love the same way I love. In more ways similar to each other, but also contrast in a merry way, and that fuels this emotion engine we are on. And we love it, very much. That explains why we are here, now, in this space with the lovely atmosphere, better surroundings, and improved company.

There are times when I would miss the old ways, the old preoccupations, and the old habits. But one has to change with the tides of youth as it sails down the channel against our will. I have chosen to sail with her, my beloved. And even if our ship seems to be sailing in the same direction with the rest of the world’s, the journey is far more significant and far more interesting, intriguing even, because I am taking it with her. She, the love of my life, makes my travels fruitful, and my stopovers exciting. I adore her. And she adores me. There’s nothing more I could want. I am content.

(january2003)

posted by libay at 3/22/2003 09:01:00 PM

but sometimes, the offline ventures came from inner turmoils. and i don't think i want to recollect on those, again, anymore.

if language can elude you...

If language can elude you, it can certainly betray you. Purists will argue; they will say that no, it is not the words that betray you but the people who use the words are the ones to blame for that. And I think they are right. As I make words provide me with my daily sustenance, so are words used by some as weapons of soul destruction. Some have made a living out of that, not caring whether it will have long-lasting effects on whomever it is that they try to target with their words. Some have given care, most especially to the targets who become victims not by their choice. And some… some, like me, chose to use words to heal myself from wounds that words, too, have left in my being.

(06march03thesaddestdayofmylife)

so here we go again with that one sweep of the cleansing ritual. or in this case, a literal touch of a button and...delete it goes.

goodbye necessary nonfictions.

hello blogger, goodbye leaflets

the thing with this technology is, it's easy to delete.

comme ca.

and with that, i just deleted a blog i created some 3-4 years ago. one of those experimental things. i noticed that several of these old blogs are still connected to this new one, this same account. so i'm doing this ritual of cleansing and i'm deleting some i don't really, really need anymore...such as my very first blog.

leaflets

the fall of musings about anything under (and above and around) the sun, made by a floating leaf from an autumnless country - feel free to rake it in your yard ... or dispose of properly. no burning!

the year was 2002. i just heard of the thing called weblog from my two writer friends from the dumaguete workshop. they were apparently testing it already the year before. i was rather late in the game because i wasn't much of a techie. these widgets you're enjoying now were not there back then. suffer ang byuti ko noon dahil sa i wasn't so hot about html. but i came around and learned a few things. survival stuff for writers like me. and so, we had leaflets.

Saturday, August 31, 2002

tag-lagas na. it's autumn. and i am from a place where there is no autumn. our seasons give us few choices - it's either you're dry or you're wet. outside, and inside. what if you're not dry, or wet, and just plain...leafy? aye, there's the rub.

posted by libay at 8:50 PM

what is being leafy? anybody got any definitions?

mine: being leafy is being true to your self, being organic. you have something and it grows. if it detaches from your tree, the leaf of an idea floats around until someone will find them useful. and then, life is not extinguished from that floater but continued, in another form - pressed in one's notebook, garnished in one's dish, or just lying there in one's lawn, waiting for the next step of (d)evolution to chance upon it.

agree or disagree? spin a win...

posted by libay at 9:01 PM

still trying to get the hang of this new writing technology. but i am beginning to love it!

this is so seventies, don't you think? like the colors of autumn in your living room... or desktop. the colors of the ukay-ukay fashion, actually. very reminiscent of the interiors of this once hip place called lava lounge...

posted by libay at 10:08 PM

leaf of the day: santol.

have you ever wondered why the santol tree's leaf has bulutong-like things on its surface?

i like the fruit, too, especially if it's from the bangkok variety.

la lang...

posted by libay at 10:15 PM

it was a strange thing to write something personal online. at first, only a handful people read them. but that all changed when blogging spread like wildfire. at first, i didn't know how to control what to write. but later, i got the hang of it.

but there are times when sometimes, you don't want to read what you wrote before. so from this early sampler, that is all i have to retain. the rest, like the bad memories written it it, are now...deleted.

goodbye leaflets.

now you believe Prince has pinoy blood? / eksenang klasrum

forgot to share this here. originally posted at my multiply blog.

----------


in one of my film classes, a student of mine was wondering why president arroyo cited tia carrere and lou diamond phillips when they came here before. sabi niya [something like this, di ko na maalala ang verbatim]:

siya: like, i dunno why they were awarded. e like, they're not pinoy naman or anything...

the class: *gasp* (yung iba) *...* (dedma yung iba)

me: darling, they are pinoy. they have pinoy blood. si lou diamond dito pinanganak sa pinas, sa subic nga yata, pero sa texas siya lumaki. i'm sure ang totoong name niya ay "luis diyamante" or something, pinasosyal lang.
and i went to cite other pinoys or pipol with pinoy blood working as actors in hollywood.

segue to this.

i was reading an interview with one of my favorite american actors, si gina gershon, the undying dyke icon, sa afterellen.com. and this excerpt proves that prince, or tafkap (the artist formerly known as prince) o kung anu man ang pangalan niya ngayon, has pinoy blood talaga [emphasis mine]:


AE: It's been a while since you've done anything musical. I remember when you did Cabaret.

GG: My first professional shows were all music or dance. And then I kind of stopped because I wanted to be a quote-unquote serious actress. I went back and I did Cabaret on Broadway. And the musical director kept looking at me and going: "You actually sing. You're a singer."

I kind of forgot I loved doing [that]. And I had many different opportunities to do music. Prince wanted me to do Purple Rain years ago. He flew me out there and he's changing my name, and for some reason, I backed out of that.

AE: What did he want to change your name to?
GG: Gheena. He goes, "I think I'm going to call you Gheena." I said, "Gheena Gershon?" And he said: "No. Just Gheena." At that moment I knew this was going to be weird. I was so young. I was like, "I want to go to college …"

AE: It could have been worse. He could have said, "I think I'm going to call you Apolongheenia."
GG: Yeah. It just didn't seem right. But looking back, who knows where I would have been now.

---------------------

shet nalaglag ako kakatawa. only a person with pinoy blood would really think of putting an H in your name and interchanging similar-sounding vowels like i to e and multiply them to have one i equals two ee yung ganun...

punyetah. natawa talaga ko dito!

- lheebuy

nyetah.

nerd-o-rama

ayuz.

myuzahk

since i currently have a music-related misery, i wanna answer this music question meme from my multiply contact ginny. saka kasi interesting siyang pamatay-oras habang umiinom hehe...

Which bands/artist do you own the most albums by?
-- that would be tori amos, up until her scarlet's walk album and skipping that double album named venus something, and alanis morrisette up until the one with the song "hands clean" and her mtv unplugged cd, and i'm not sure if natalie merchant counts, but i have her first 2 albums when she went solo from her 10,000 maniacs stint (but i also have the last 2 maniacs album na kasali siya

What was the last song you listened to?
-- my neighbor's radio was playing this opm song revival kanina, forgot the title. sa dami ng revivals ngayon, i lose track na of what's on air

What's in your CD player right now?
-- alanis' mtv unplugged cd. it's good soundtrack when you do your laundry, pramis.

What was the last show you attended?
-- musical show you mean? that would be the last friday film bar hours ago, where agaw agimat played, and their very muscled aggressive drummer ruined the skins of my drumset i lent them. hence the source of my misery tonight.

What was the greatest show you've ever been to?
-- alanis' one night only concert at the araneta coliseum in 1996 yata or 97, and also paula abdul's feast for the senses concert back in 1991 o 92 yata. i swear dedma na sa pagkanta niya pero the spectacular visual display and the choreography of that show is something else! pramis! i mean, dancing on stilts! dancing on air, even way before the concept of airdance! man i tell you, she is a pioneer and a visionary!dedma na sa american idol career niya now. she rocked before, tapdance and everythang!

What's the worst show you've ever been to?
-- oh man, sorry to say this but lea salonga's solo concert in 2001 o 02 ba yun where she sang broadway tunes chenes which was musically directed by her julliard-trained brother was such a snorefest! walang arrive ang lola mo outside musical theater! hindi marunong magdala ng show! huwaaah. buti na lang libre ang tickets ko dun no. wala siyang libog ati... mas natuwa pa ko sa isang freebie stint ng aegis na pinanood ko sa isang kinda hole in the wall bar sa cubao dati noh! as in! yan ang authentic pinoy talent! aegis rocks hahahahah!

What's the most musically involved you have ever been?
-- hm, i was backstage help sa high school musical production namin of andrew lloyd weber's joseph and the amazing technicolor dreamcoat. chos. i also learned how to play the drums in late high school-early college. wah. i also play some small indigenous musical instruments for the all-women world music group engkantada. yun na siguro. pero kung biniyayaan lang ako ng nice voice that could live up to my last name, men nag-audition na ako nung 1990 sa miss saigon i swear hehehe...

What is your favorite band shirt?
-- wala yata akong band shirt talaga. bumili lang ako dati ng cambio shirt kasi binentahan ako ni earnest weheheheh saka cute kasi yung orange shirt nila. i heart orange. pero i have a favorite musical-inclined shirt, yung top40 branded miss saigon logo tee ko noong 1991 na up to this day e buhay pa rin! pramis ati ang tibay niya!

What musician would you like to hang out with for a day?
-- oh man. i'd like to explore how tori amos translates her thoughts into munchable music, know what i mean? because i'd like to do the same, pero prose level. ah basta. gusto ko siyang maka-hang out kahit isang oras lang. pero i have a feeling it will be like hanging out with chinchin gutierrez for a day if i hang out with tori..minus the talking to the plants thing and greeting every living being na non-human "good morning." basta. gusto ko ring makahuntahan si alanis para tapatin niya ako kung nakikiuso lang ba siya sa bisexuality chenes niya o ano ba ang real score, at kung paano niya hina-handle ang artistic psychosis niya kasi hihingi ako ng tips heheheh.pero to flashback, i'd like to spend time with billie holliday, and maybe ask her how it feels like to be closeted that way during that time, and produce music like that pa rin.... hooooweeey baby. bring on the gin!

Who is one musician or group(s) you wish would make a comeback?
-- i've always wondered where irene cara went. ganda ng boses ng aleng yun ha, pati nung songs niya nung 80s. saka i wanna know what suzanne vega's up to now.

How many music related videos/DVDs do you own?
-- i'm not sure. sa dami ng hiniram na di na sinoli, i lost count.

Name 4 or MORE flawless albums:
-- alanis: jagged little pill, mtv unplugged
-- tori: little earthquakes
-- soundtrack: i am sam, the l word
-- anthologies: red hot+blue a tribute to cole porter
-- musical: rent, sunset boulevard
-- indigo girls: 10000 curfews

Name 5 of your favorite songs of all time
-- na pag nakanta ng ninuman ng maganda ay puwede akong mainlab habangbuhay type? hehehehe. well, it has happened before...
1. time after time, ebtg or tuck n patti version
2. downtown by petula clark
3. moonriver by audrey hepburn from her film
4. nearness of you, any jazz version
5. selling the drama by live
6. galileo / virginia woolf by indigo girls
-- actually marami pa yan pero yan na lang muna

What is your favorite movie soundtrack?
-- of all time? wala. i love a lot of osts kasi. pero currently, heavy rotation sa aking cd player yung ost ng DE-LOVELY. i also love the osts of chocolat, i am sam, pretty woman, forrest gump, girl interrupted, il postino

What was your last musical "phase" before you wisened up?
-- none that i wanna be apologetic about. i am not that apologetic about lots of things i like, music or whatnot. e that's what makes me a person e, bakit ba? so i liked and like some pop tunes? so what? i heart grunge and altrock when it evolved. so what? i love old school rap, pre-hiphop. so what? i love lots of music e. bakit ba? eclectic is the bomb! when i was asked nga in a job interview kung what kind of feminism i subscribe to, i said i am what you may call an eclectic feminist, because i believe in the chorvas of many strands of feminism, not just one or two (but lesbian feminism takes much room in my personal discourse)

What's your "guilty pleasure" that you hate to admit to liking?
-- like i said above, there's nothing to be guilty of, to quote that song by barbra streisand and that member of beegees the brothers gibb blah... see, talagang eclectic ang taste ko sa music men. hmm ok pero kung guilty pleasure lang pag-uusapan e... okay paula abdul na nga i admit, pero first album lang, saka kasi she tapdances kaya men i like that. hm sino pa ba? abba dapat pero cult status na sila so it doesn't count... ay wala talaga e. i live by qaf's brian kinney's credo of "no apologies" and that applies to all aspects of my life kasi, including my taste in women and in music. c'est vrai. deal with it.

"Huwag kang lalabas ng bahay! manood ka na lang ng TV!"

yan ang classic line ng lola ko when i was growing up, during rainy days such as the one we're having this very moment. bakit? kasi kahit ganitong maulan e kaming mga batang kalye ng suburbian project 4 ay nagtatatakbo sa ulan at naghahanap ng mga rumaragasang water flow sa mga kanal (not the murky black water canal that we know of now) sa gilid ng kalye, at ilalagay ang mga tsinelas doon para maging karera ng tsinelas sa tubig. pero dapat mabilis ka ring maghabol kasi kung hindi, lulusot sa drainage yung tsinelas mo at patay ka sa nanay, tatay, lolo o lola mo kapag umuwi kang isang paa lang ang may suot.

isang pastime lang yan. ang isa pa ay ang main event -- ang maligo mismo sa ulan. lalo na kapag summer, tapos yung unang ulan ng abril o mayo ba yun e may ek na dapat maligo ka doon para for good luck yata or something superstitious like that. pero kahit hindi summer, basta malakas ang ulan, maliligo lang kami ever. dedma sa knowledge ng acid rain anesh? kasi naman noong panahong iyon e mababa pa ang reading ng air pollution index chenes ng maynila (at ng buong pilipinas to boot) kaya we were safe and okay. papasok lang sa bahay o time out lang kapag nilamig na sa ulan o nangulubut na ng sobra ang balat sa paa, whichever came first.

minsan naman, lalo na whenever i spent weekends or holidays in marikina, ang pastime naman doon e maglayag sa iba't ibang kalye kasi baha. as in hanggang bewang ng bata ang baha, which means bewang namin. and no, there was no danger of those rat thingie diseases like leptospirosis(sp?) chenes going on that time. eto buhay pa kami lahat o. dun naman, dahil sobrang provincial pa noon ang marikina (think may sapa-sapa areas pa noon doon with real live fishies kung saan may mga tunay na maningisda ka talagang makikita na nagfi-fish) at marami pang vacant areas and big lots with grass na kapag umulan nga e biglang nagiging fishpond, naaliw kaming rumonda kapag umuulan nang ganito. minsan nga, sa isang paglalayag, hindi namalayan ng isa namng kalaro na may bukas na manhole or something smaller sa isang gilid, at bigla na lang siyang lumubog, a in swoooksh! kala namin may monster na humila sa paa niya or what (yeah we watch a lot of fantasy movies din back then). nang makita naming nahila ang isa niyang leg sa butas, natawa kaming lahat habang umiiyak siya. lalo kaming natawa kasi fraidycat ang dating niya hahahaha. ang evil ng mga kabataan talaga ever ano?

naaliw lang ako sa pagflashback when i read an email from miss jo, our new college secretary oic sa masscomm, isang email na nakapagpangiti sa akin ngayong tanghali. eto nilagyan ko ng annotation kong sarili in [brackets].

enjoy! your youth only comes once. live it to the fullest. life's too short to dillydally on the sidelines. go to where the action is, pipol! like now!

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO WERE BORN IN THE 1950's, 60's and 70's !!

[yeah that means me! less than a year after martial law was declared, i was born into this planet]

First, some of us survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us. ( sioktong ang inumin)

[hindi ako aware na ginawa ito ng nanay ko though, but i saw some titas do this wen they were pregnant -- kaya siguro ganyan iba kong pinsan hehehehe chos]

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, fish from a can ( brand : ligo ) , and didn't get tested for diabetes.

[true. konti lang din kasi ang choices back then]

Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paints , pati na yung laruang kabayu-kabayuhan.

[ay tru! meron ako ng kabayong yan! pero short-lived dahil meron yata akong hogan touch, as in pag hinawakan ko e nasisira hehehe at saka pinagpalit ko na siya sa bisikleta kong may pampasahero sa likod. yes at 3 years old, motorista na ako hehe]

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, no kneepads , sometimes wala ngang preno yung bisikleta.

[ay puta oo korek yan. have you ever heard of na yung paa ang pampreno ng bike? kaya mega-pudpod agad ang tsinelas na pinagtatakhan ng mga nanay namin noon hahaha]

As children, we would ride in car with no seat belts or air bags – hanggang ngayon naman, di ba ? ( jeep )

[super! i especially enjoyed riding my lolo's white toyota crown men, yung ang front seat ay parang sopa na diretso sa passenger seat side at hindi individually seated. ang kewl nun. tapos i tinker with the dial of the car radio na ang vintage lang ng hitsura even back then, before i even had the knowledge of what vintage meant]

Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat. ( maykaya kayo pare ! )

[rare nga ito. my papa called his pick-up (which was office-issues) a crewcab so that's what we called it.]

We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle ( minsan straight from the faucet)

[tru. this is one of the wonders i had when i first started living independently in the mid-90s, bakit binibili ang tubig? nalost ako sa konsepto until i realized na sa bahay ng apala, laging may water filter sa mga gripo namin hehe]

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this. Or contacted hepatitis.

[meaning malinis ang mga tao noon! haha]

We ate rice with tinunaw na purico ( dahil ubos na ang star margarine), nutribuns na galing kay macoy and drank sopdrinks with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight kasi nga.....

WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!!

[as in! laman lang kami ng kalye. kahit yung mga kapitbahay naming mayayamang intsik e lumalabas paminsan minsan para makipaglaro kasi walang threat na kikidnapin sila]

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. Sarap mag patintero, tumbang preso , habulan taguan….

[unless ang nanay mo o lola mo, like mine, ay superfan ng siesta sessions after lunch, na pipilitin kang matulog bago lumarga ulit sa labas...i hated that.]

No one was able to reach us all day ( di uso ang celfon , walang beepers ). And we were O.K.

[hindi pa kasi praning ang mga panahong iyon, in general...and everybody knew where everybody was, most of the time...]

We would spend hours building our trolleys or slides out of scraps and then ride down the street, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

[pastime din naming humiram "by force" ng skateboard ng isang kapitbahay sa may taas ng kalye,, against his wishes, tapos we would take turns riding or learning how to ride it pabba sa kalye sa may area namin habang hinahabol niya kami hahaha. i think that guy's name was ruther. wotta name huh? i had weirdly named neighbors back then. pero okay na kami when my mom finally agreed to buy me my own skateboard. so we left ruther alone na. na na-sad siguro siya kaya he started hanging out with us hehe.]

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video tape movies, no surround sound, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms....... ...WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

[oo nga! our mode of communication back then was the landline phone, kung meron man ang kalaro mong pldt line, o kaya papalakpakan kami sa tapat ng bahay/gate parang signal na lumabas ka na. mahilig din kaming magsayawan noon kaya pag may birthday sa bahay, gasgas ang vinyl record turntable player ng tita ko hehe]

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents. The only rubbing we get is from our friends with the words…..masakit ba ? pero pag galit yung kalaro mo,,,,ang sasabihin sa iyo…..beh buti nga !

[tapos kuyugan na at maghahabulan]

We play in the dirt , wash our hands a little and ate with our barehands…we were not afraid of getting worms in our stomachs.

[reliable pa ang combantrin noon hahaha]

We have to live with homemade guns – gawa sa kahoy, tinali ng rubberband , sumpit , tirador at kung ano ano pa na puedeng makasakit…..pero walang nagrereklamo.

[oo nga. pag umiyak ka, mapababae man o lalaki, laos ka!]

made up games with sticks (syato)and cans (tumbang preso) and although we were told it would happen, wala naman tayong binulag o napatay… paminsan-minsan may nabubukulan.

[pare syato champion ako! magalig ako sumalo ng lumilipad na stick! at saka kaya kong tirahin siya ng malayo. and we had really good teamwork back then.]


We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just yelled for them!

[see above -- palakpakan mode]

Mini basketball teams had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Walang sumasama ang loob.

[oo nga. naniniwala kami sa better luck next time. ngayon, magpapatayan pa e...]

Ang magulang ay nandoon lang para tingnan kung ayos lang ang bata…hindi para makialam.

[ay nako di uso ang stage parents noon ha plis lang. saka laos ka pag nagsumbong ka hahaha]

This generation of ours has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and managers ever.

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!
And YOU are one of them! CONGRATULATIONS!

You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the government regulated our lives for our own good.


and while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave their parents were.

Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?!

PS - The big type is because your eyes may not be able to read this… at your age