11 November 2018

Homeowner, and a tale of lived beings

Hello. Are you still there? I'm coming back to say -- I still am.

Life has always gotten in the way of many things, we like to say, as humans. But then, I realized that, to be human, a living one, one needs to live a life. For us writers, we need to live life to write about life. And we need to have a life, in order to be able to write.

Confused? Don't be. Sometimes the most convoluted thoughts contain the simplest of truths. You just have to be more aware to figure it out. 

That's how life is, I suppose. A string of truths, hiding in plain sight, but we tend to overlook them, since there are so many distractions, preoccupations, and other things necessary or otherwise.

As a writer, one is also preoccupied with uncovering such truths, or creating to contribute to certain ones out there. But that kind of pursuit is sometimes halted by other things that need more attention at the moment, foremost of which is, as always, making money.

I've made a good deal of my own lately, actually, to the point that I was able to pay off my condo home loan ahead of time. Yes, that also happened: adulting, to the max. In fact, my 15 years-to-pay deal ended this week, after a whopping 10 years. Pucha, biro mo mehn, titulado na ko! I now have property to my name. When I used to teach in UP, I always got a bit sad come SALN-filling time, because I don't really have any assets to declare in that column, but in the liabilities column, there it always was: home loan condo. Well, no more na this year! Thanks to my parents who also had a hand in funding some of the amount that we always had recalculated whenever they had some windfall amount at hand, and also to my own windfall of rakets here and there, we were able to close the loan and the bank handed me my land title this week. 

So yeah, this week, let me add one more title to my list: homeowner. 

Titulado na lola mo, something better than a PhD methinks.

Nakakaloka. After ten years, kaya pala. To think that I "wasted" all those years in Quezon City, renting apartment after apartment, ranging from 8-10k a month, siguro dalawa na ang condo ko ngayon. Pero hindi ko rin naman magagawa ito noon, of course. I started living on my own independently, and like all early independents do, hikahos lang ang simula. I even had roommates in one house, so that we can all share the rent, bilang mga newbie independents kami. 


January 2008, ilang buwan pa lang mula nung turnover.
May sakit ako nito, pero nakakaginhawa sa
utak at kaluluwa na may tanawin akong ganito,
habang nagpapagaling. 

Pero hindi ko rin siguro ipagpapalit ang mga experiences ko na yun sa pagre-rent sa iba't ibang apartment, kasi they also had a hand in forming my character, and sharpening my being. Hindi rin naman kasi traumatic ang ibang moves na iyon, at ang iba pa nga ay looking forward pa ako sa move. Let me tell you some of them in a handful of nutshells:

Move 1: House to jowa's place

I was already working in a film production company in Ortigas when I wanted to move out of our Marikina house already. My father and I didn't get along so well sometimes, and also I felt that it's really time I had a "room of my own." We were in a 2-bedroom bungalow, the best my parents can afford as working middle class professionals back in the '80s, and they're still there now. I made working in Ortigas as a viable excuse for me to move out, but finding a girlfriend who was living in a 3-bedroom house made the move easier. Her mom's relatives owned the house, and she was looking after it, with the 2 other bedrooms leased out to 2 other women as tenants. I went to live with her in the 3rd bedroom, and it lasted for less than a year before we broke up. But after we broke up, the two tenants also ended their lease, and she had to move to Baguio to finish her law degree there. I took over her room as a tenant, and asked two of my close college barkada to rent the other rooms. And that was where our ConCon barkada was born -- in that halfway house in Naranghita.

The late '90s was a hoot. Our film barkada was still intact then.

Some of the housemates I had, and our frequent visitors.
All UP film college barkada, circa 1998.

Instaparty kapag may balikbayan sa amin. 

Instawild din kapag nag-inuman na. This was how Gen-X partied back then. 

But this was not the first time we had a halfway house of sorts, me and my college film berks. We actually had two, which I think prepared my parents for my eventual moving out for good. I think I have to include it here in my listing.

Move 0.1: Temporary (UP) Bliss

It was the sembreak of my last year of film school when my friends and I decided to share the rent in a unit inside the UP Bliss housing. Our film teacher sponsored a film to be done that time, script by my BFF and me directing, shooting in 16mm film ha. That would have been my first, prior to my 16mm film thesis sana, but the project fizzled out for reasons I can't remember anymore. But that several weeks in that UP Bliss gave us a taste of living independently, with roommates, paying bills like an adult, and I suppose it whet all our appetites.

Move 0.2: Mahiyain mode

Right after graduation, a handful of friends wanted to create a raket film production group, which was very rare pa back then (this is mid-'90s folks), and we decided to rent an apartment in Mahiyain street to have a headquarters. Well, we had a glorious first client which helped us pay the bills and rent, but everyone also had more glorious egos that clashed during work. So in short, that fizzled out faster than when it started.

Move 0.3: Maginhawa nga ba?

Another college friend of ours turned out to have his own fizzled film prod raket grouping, so he decided to tap me and my BFF to be new partners. We also tapped another film barkada, and this one was sturdier a samahan because our recruiter friend had a formidable work linkage in the form of this Fil-Canadian lady with a desktop publishing biz. She wanted to form a video production biz din, and she had the equipment, so we were the workers. Her huge home in Maginhawa had a small American-style garage at the back which actually could be converted into a 2-storey living quarters, so we lived there for a few months, too, as we made several rakets for her. But again, personalities crashed, as well as other things I can't recall anymore, and we ended up splitting from that setup, too, me and my BFF. So I went back to my parents' house for a while, until I made that pivotal Move 1. 

Kumu-conceptual photography with a tripod and SLR camera,
with legitimate celluloid film to boot.
Slight naubos pera ko sa kakapa-debelop ng rolyo noon,
but the memories are worth every analog print of it.

Historical preparations, ain't it? 

Move 2: Ex-jowa's house to new ex-jowa's house.

I think it has already been 2 years in that first house in Naranghita when I met a lawyer who became my jowa of 5 years. She was living in a compound owned by her ex's family, and in one of those doors, that ex of hers was also living there. And in another door, another lesbian lawyer was living there, too, who was the jowa of my jowa's ex. Magulo ba? Masusundan mo 'yan kung matalino ka, pramis hahaha! But things went bad with that ex of hers and that ex's jowa, who were living just next door to each other, literally. The jowa cheated, so my ex's ex wanted to move out of there. Meantime, we also wanted to move out already, so we three lesbians of Mabait street went and rented a new place in Mapagkumbaba street, up and down, one bedroom my ex's ex, and one ours. But that ex of hers found a new jowa and eventually moved out of our apartment. As for me, after 5 years, I also found a new me -- one that didn't want to be with her anymore. We were supposed to move into a new space actually, but that moved became a split into two different directions, not one, since I decided to split up with her, for good. 

I transitioned to many jobs during my stay with that 5-year jowa.
The last being this, as a n NGO worker in a feminist media int'l org.
Pivotal, those days. Which also meant I had to pause my MA studies,
since I had to juggle a home life with a really
high maintenance jowa back then.
Yeah, you get one of those from time to time.

As one of her last ditch efforts to keep us intact,
she allowed me to have a ConCon gathering with my
old film buddies again during our last years, since that was
my one reklamo during this relationship: na natanggal ako sa
sirkulo ng friends and arts ko when I was with her.
But even so, it wasn't really enough to make me stay.

My last months in that house, and that relationship.
'Twas when I realized I should love myself more. 

Move 3: Kamuning

My cousin-in-law's parents were renting out a duplex apartment somewhere in K-3rd street, and my cousin was living there with her young family of three in the smaller area. So I ended up renting the bigger area, all by my lonesome. That move was pivotal, since I was starting many lives back then: as a newly "singled" lesbian, a post-showbiz/media worker, post-NGO worker, and now a college professor, and also a new TV director. Which meant that the titser suweldo is not that ideal to keep an 8k a month rent, so I had to augment my income then. That Kamuning time was indeed such a busy time, so busy that my health suffered, so I ended up turning semi-vegetarian to have my lab results even out again. But then, cousin-in-law's parents decided to sell the house, and I had to vacate asap. Salamat ha. Thankfully, I found a new place in an old neigborhood.

The perks of renting a house all by your lonesome is you get to
decorate it however you want. So naturally, my artistic inclinations
arose that time, and I had a better canvas to explore.
Yes, those are windows. It's acrylic, so it washes off easily.

One of my prized possessions back then: a theatrical poster of Tomb Raider,
from my newspaper entertainment editor days. Sayang nasira.

Wherever I lived, even if it was temporary, I made sure it was homey. 

I also had preference for high ceilings.
Not a claustrophobic, but I dunno, I just felt like it.

Move 4: Naranghita part deux

A good deal of my teaching life was spent living in another part of Naranghita street, where the rent is basically the same as before. It's interesting to be back in the Anonas area at that time, a little bit older and wiser, but maybe still a bit stupid in the love department. See, when I was about to do Move 3, I met someone else right after I split with my ex of 5 years. She thought I two-timed her (at iyon ang pinagkalat niya sa mga tao), but that's not really the case (and I don't actually care kung ano ang pinagkalat niya sa akin, kasi I know the real score). This girl I met wasn't really such a good one for me, that's why the relationship never really became solid to begin with; it only served as a catalyst for me to jumpstart many things left dormant by the 5 year relationship. But she wasn't the sole catalyst, of course. Going back to the media grind also helped, thanks to my college barkada-slash-former housemates. But this girl just kept being present in my life, even after making Move 3. And she even came to me during Move 4, but only her things moved with me, because she stupidly moved out of her and her brother's own rented apartment back then, her without a plan, her brother moving into his own small apartment, so she ended up hauling her things in my place. "Pakilagay" lang daw, pero tuwing lilipat ako, nakikilipat din siya. The nerve, di ba. Even if I was already dating another person during this time, in this space, andiyan pa rin itong isa, nakikigulo. Hay naku, how did I even enter such predicaments back then is beyond me. All I know is that I'm glad they all ended.

Kahit katiting lang, dapat ang tirahan ko ay may bintana,
kung saan maaari kong matanaw ang langit at
ilang bahagi ng lupang may luntiang nagkalat.
Sa masikip na espasyong ito, puwede na
rin ito noon, pansamantala.

Ang chaka lang ng view, pero at least meron.

Dito ko muling naharap ang MA studies ko,
kaya naging espasyo ng pag-aaral ang bahay na ito.

Hindi ko alam kung premonition ito na hindi ako magtatagal sa espasyong ito,
pero hindi na ako masyadong ginanahan sa pagde-decor nito,
di tulad dun sa Kamuning dati. Kaya ganito lang
kasimple ang nilagay ko doon, para lang may bahid ng ako ang espasyo.

Ang lagi kong kasama sa mga paglilipat: ang pusa ko, at ang kurant ko.
Pareho nang wala sa buhay ko ngayon, kasi bawal na.

Move 5: Condo living

So finally, this is it, pansit! No more lingering ex-jowas to make sabit in this move, because this one is a purchase already. No more renting. No more sabits. The girl I was dating prior to this move, she also graced this space from time to time, but she had her own space with her son somewhere else. That immediately fizzled anyway, and then another person came into my life then. That one lived here for a good two years, before getting herself knocked up by a man. Galing, di ba? For a while I felt trapped here, since before, if an old relationship finished, I can also move out of the apartment and rent a new one. Not here. So what I did was, when I finally had enough cash, I disposed of all, I mean ALL, of my previous home furnishings, and replaced them with new ones: couch, TV display, TV, corner shelves, dining table, name it! Living room and dining room showcase ang change pare, even bedroom showcase. Mahihiya ang The Price is Right sa pinamigay ko nun. Pero na-cleanse na naman ang espasyo, at napalitan na ng ibang energies, kaya eto na siya, okay na.

At ngayon, akin na. Akin na talaga.

The moment I saw these kinda picture windows,
I was hooked. I knew I was home.

Ready for Occupy Marikina project again,
after 10 years of being in QC.
I mean, look at those windows, and the view!

Sa tuwing mag-eempake ako noon, feeling ko
sasadsad ako sa depression sa kung anumang kadahilanan.
Ewan ko ba kung bakit. Signos ng pagtatapos
siguro ng isang chapter, malamang. Pero itong hakot na ito,
wala, walang ganun. Kaya alam kong tama siya.

Mas marami nang puwedeng galawan, kahit papaano.
Level up na ang buhay, salamat sa kalawakan.

I always called this space my sanctuary, because it was. When the world is feeling mighty mighty low, at least I have a space I can retreat to, hibernate if you will, so I can recharge whatever needs recharging in my soul. For a time there, I also thought of this space as my Fortress of Solitude, because I lived here with no one and nothing but my thoughts, and Jor-el would be proud. Ninja training fortified. Before, I used to treat my temporary shelters as a respite, a stopover to wherever life will take me next, whatever I'm doing in life at that particular moment. But this time, no more of that. Having some kind of permanence also gave my being some peace of mind as I struggled to live here. 'Twas a struggle sometimes, indeed, especially financially, but I'm glad it turned out fine. Really fine.

And now, it's legally mine. 

No matter what the mood, the space is a safe one for me.
(Salamat din sa Rosco lighting gels swatch
na nakuha ko sa US sa eksperimentong ito).

I turned 45 this year. Sometimes I feel it, sometimes I don't. Sometimes all of these memories are crystal clear, sometimes they're just a blur. But when I recall the spaces I've lived in, it somewhat makes recollections easier, since there are automatic groupings, new chapter headings if you will, of this narrative I call my life. I guess now, now that this space is all mine, it's when Book Two starts naman. No more chapters. No more snippets. Sarado na ang unang libro, at panibagong simula na naman ang bubuksan nito sa buhay ko.

Sige lang. Andito lang ako, humihinga. Tignan natin kung ano ang maiuuwi ko naman ngayon, sa puntong ito ng buhay ko.

Siya nawa.

Kampai! At ibalik ang ibang kinaligtaan sa buhay.


And yes, thank you, you, for still reading this space. More to come. Pramis!


16 March 2018

When the world comes in

I've been hearing one of my favorite songs on heavy rotation this week. I'm always in a café, alone, when this Crowded House original suddenly plays, when I'm right in the middle of heavy muni-muni mode about my life:

Hey now, hey now
Don't dream it's over

Hey now, hey now
When the world comes in
They come, they come
To build a wall between us
You know that they won't win

Sunny out, dark in.
Story of my life sometimes.
 [March 2018 Marikina]

I don't know if newer singers revived this lately. Maybe someone did. But to me, I think it's a not-so-secret message in a bottle for me from the universe.


There is freedom within, there is freedom without
Try to catch the deluge in a paper cup


I'm feeling that indeed, the world comes in heavily these past few weeks. I don't exactly know what bad juju showered upon me during the new years, the regular or the Chinese one. It's a feeling of unease. A feeling of instability. Of course superficially and technically, I know why. But spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and metaphorically, I have no clue.


Now I'm towing my car, there's a hole in the roof
My possessions are causing me suspicion but there's no proof


The world gets tiring once in a while. I feel like pausing and taking a break from it again. I get this from time to time, but it has been a while since I felt like this again. And again, I don't exactly know why.

Only shadows ahead barely clearing the roof
Get to know the feeling of liberation and release


Luck of the draw, I guess. I got an overload of graces for a few years already, so maybe it's the opposite lately. But when you're down, it's not always true that there's nowhere else to go but up. Sometimes when you're down, it's possible to sink even lower. Trust me on this.

I think I need more sleep.

Or air.

I don't know.

Soundtrip na lang muna.



posted from Bloggeroid

08 March 2018

to be a woman in 2018 Philippines

Lately, this opening line from Pablo Neruda's poetry echoes in my mind: 

"It so happens I am tired of being a man."

It's from a piece called "Walking Around" included in the Il Postino OST where famous people read his poetry. Samuel L. Jackson read this one. Powerful.

I echo this because, in this time and era, I share similar sentiments: 

It so happens that I am tired of being a woman. 

In a time when misogyny got an unexpected boost, in this patriarchal country where all closeted sexists suddenly outed themselves and spew vitriol after vitriol against women of all kinds, one gets bombarded by words words words from people who suddenly showed their true colors to you. I am getting tired of listening to them, reading their posts on social media, and being beside them. 

As an identifying feminist, I have been around this kind of misogyny all my life. It somehow contributed to my raison d'être, my reason for being. If only I can control it. If only I can fight it. In my own little way, I try. In anything and everything I do, I try to infuse feminism in my work. In some instances, it fails. But in most cases, it wins. 

However, little did I expect that it will take its toll on me one day. All because of one entity: the troll.

So many people now feel empowered anonymously by this information highway we call the internet. And another kind of animal is shitting all over it: the troll. I've been reading so many reports coming out of western media these days, talking about Russian troll farms that influenced American society the past two years. You know in some aspects, we're ahead of them for about a year or so, because I've already read so many reports about local troll farms since last year. Yes, we have our own.

Jim said it simply, and said it best:
"The internet is vicious!"
Indeed. I miss this show grabe.

Troll farms. Who would have predicted this kind of kalakaran today, no? I wonder what the communication theorists-psychs-social scientists would say about this. Hello, Marshall McLuhan, Stuart Hall, Stephen Covey, anyone? What do you think po? Hay naku. I don't think the inventors of the internet wanted their information superhighway to turn towards this direction. And neither did we passengers/passersby/digital motorists.

This is how I've been feeling lately: like a driver catching snags along the way, no thanks to unexpected potholes and bumps I find all over. Life's not smooth-sailing all the time anyway, but adding such potholes don't help the journey one bit -- especially if you're just doing your job along the way.

It is tiring. But I've met several advocates in Thailand last year who say the same thing -- and encouraged me to just go on. Write. Post. Think. Say. It's easier said than done sometimes, especially if you get threatened by an extended offline physical threat because of something you posted online. Yes, it has become this crazy.


Renewal: This is where I got it last year.
I was in Thailand for a lecture gig and attended
this Asia Pacific Feminist Forum by accident,
as an aside, since I was already there.
The best accidental decision I've done in years.
In this session, I was able to process many things
that have been bothering me. And I came home
renewed, and with hope again. Yes indeed,
the universe still conspires.
[September 2017 Chiang Mai, Thailand]

Look at me, extolling the virtues of social media as eliminating the traditional media gatekeepers in my lectures some 10 years ago, proudly stating to Asian neighbors in an Indonesian conference that Filipinos have a great knack at this thing called social media that we were declared the social media capital of the world 10 years ago. And 10 years hence, where are we now? Cultivating troll farms to destroy honest people and create lies. And in the middle of that, amplifying misogyny and anything anti-women. Woo-hoo progress.

How can you not be disheartened by that? We were already feeling major gains, and then we get back to a square one slump. It used to be, two steps forward and one step back. At least there's movement, no matter how slow. But today, it seems like it's one step forward and two steps back. Where are we headed if the path is this way?

I dread to answer that question right now. It's International Women's Day today, 2018. A far cry from 2008, of course, with all the technological and societal advancements. But we get a new kind of crying from all the anti-women online harassment and trolling and shit. Realizing this is indeed tiring.

So please, universe, fortify me more. FORTIFY US. In this day and age of fakery, let the genuine efforts shine. And please, deliver us from trolls. 


We women get our strengths and inspiration from fellow women.
Glad to have met one such woman who urged me to
NOT STOP WRITING. Rock on, ladies! And thanks.
[September 2017 Chiang Mai, Thailand]


10 February 2018

entr'acte

It took me 8 years, 1 death, and hundreds of waking moments of wondering to finally synthesize one feeling to one conclusion: 
It was nothing but pure selfishness, and friendship was never part of that process.

I'm currently working on a project in a public coworking space right now, when I finally found that rationalization above about a certain thing in my life, one that has pierced my being from time to time, but one that never kept me down to begin with -- just momentary blindsided. Sort of.

And a thought also popped into my mind just a few moments ago, in connection with a stage play I was trying to write about that realization above -- a play that I penned some 10 years ago or so. This could be a beginning, a teaser, or something else entirely. Maybe something in between, too. Entr'acte. I'm not sure yet. Will decide later.

But this is how it goes:

“It took his death to finally untangle us from one another. Poignant enough, for it took his arrival to bind us together in the first place. And that is where our story began…where it also ended. Onscreen, and off.”

Yes, heartache prompts me to write. That was a huge one, but from a longtime friend, a friend of long ago. Heartaches caused by friends are sometimes more painful for me to feel. Maybe it's because I invested a different kind of value in there, as opposed to the value you invest in a job, your relationship with work, or even a lover or a partner. They have nuances, for me. 

But as I grew older, and more wiser, I realized that those values shift from time to time. And I think that one just shifted, magnanimously, as I sat here, working, thinking of other things, but those things suddenly caught my attention, and let me divert a bit.

So here we are.

I guess that's one less demon who stood up from the couch.

Good riddance, then. Good for me.

Swiped from Stuff No One Told Me.

Back to work, then.


21 January 2018

Affordability.

Kung kelan ka naman nagkaroon ng means sa buhay na bilhin ang mga bagay, tulad ng libro, na gustong-gusto mong bilhin when you were in your teens/twenties, at kung kelan naman nagkaroon ng teknolohiya para magkaroon ka ng access sa mga bilihing ito, tulad ng Amazon and online shopping in general, saka ka naman kapos sa oras, lagi, para magtuon ng panahon sa pagbabasa.

Sadyang ganyan ba talaga ang Tantalus-ian playbook ng life, universe? Puro patikim lang ng mga patakam? O footnote thought lang ba ito sa mas malalaki pang thoughts na kelangan kong pansinin muna sa panahong ito?

I want to can some thoughts for now. Canned thoughts. Itapon ang abrelata called curiosity.

*whooosh*

*

My partner arrived at some of her own thoughts about affordability and parenthood. Na dapat daw, mga early to mid-30s ang wagi na panahon para makapag-decide ang human beings na magkaroon ng anak. Dahil afford na sa panahong iyon ang maturity pati na rin ang financial capacity, napagtanto niyang ito dapat ang prescribed time for parenthood daw.

I sense a short story in that canned thought of hers na binuksan ng abrelata called epiphany. Minahin ko kapag may oras.

Oo, pastime naming mag-usap tungkol sa mga naiisip namin. Kaya payapa lang.

💙



Cheers for sweet thoughts. Can them to last longer.
posted from Bloggeroid

16 January 2018

Do you have to let it linger?

The '90s wouldn't be the '90s without that unmistakable angsty voice-with-a-yodel of Dolores O'Riordan. And it wouldn't be *my* '90s if their cassette tape wasn't inside the radio of my box-type car, driving around the traffic-less streets of Metro Manila, my heart heavy with some thought or other, my head rocking to their guitars and drums, my soul busy with processing whatever it is that needs processing at that time. The Cranberries were a good background soundtrack for that stage in my life back then. 

It was 1993, 1994, 1995. The years when I traded my original college (Fine Arts) for another (Mass Comm) inside the same campus (UP Diliman). I traded my techpens, pencils, paintbrushes for an SLR camera and a video camera. It wasn't an easy transition, because it wasn't 100% sanctioned. New friends, new knowledge, and new music soothed me that time. Dolores became one of my anonymous best friends. And as a frustrated drummer, Fergal rocked for me.



I finished my 16mm film thesis back in '94-'95 with her singing in the background, started facing life after college in '95-'96 still with her in the background, and I even dragged one of my film school buddies to watch them live in concert when they came here in '96. 



It was the first mosh pit of my life, that Cranberries Live in Manila concert. We were literally a spit away from her, her mic stand full of attached guitar picks which she plucked out like she was plucking petals from a flower. And some of those she picked she threw or handed to us in the front rows. Until later, I can't recall if it was her or the other guitarist who came out with a small box of those guitar picks, and threw them to us like we were children hungry for candy. Magaling akong sumalo sa ganyan beh! So ang dami kong nakuha at naiuwi. Pero mas precious yung inabot sa akin mismo ni Dolores that time. Transferring rental apartments in 10 years made me lose those mementos lang, which is sad. 

But of course, this is sadder. To hear that she is gone. Playing When You're Gone now, because I just want to feel so fucking meta right now. This is actually one of my favorite songs of theirs. And Salvation, too.



Nakakalungkot. When you're in a stage of your life where you want to just let go of it all, here comes some pop culture snippets that will make you hang on, will make you want to hang on for a bit more, until you let go of wanting to let go, and just go on and move forward, wherever forward may lead you.

Their music was that to me back then. Isa sa mga kinapitan ko. Matinding kapit. At kapag ganoon kalalim ang kapit mo, tatatak sa iyo iyon hanggang sa pagtanda mo.

And here I am, manghang-mangha pa rin na nakaabot ako sa 44, dahil nga hindi ako bumitaw. Ilang tumbling na lang ngayong taon, 45 na ako. Siya, namatay kanina, 46 siya. Hindi pala kami nagkakalayo ng edad. 

Salamat, little girl from Limerick. Your music will linger in me, within me, until letting go is not an option anymore, but a finality.

10 August 2017

booyah for brekkie

Cheers for cheerios!

Good for the heart! 

I'm not such a breakfast person, more like brunch, but there are times when you gotta eat in the morn to jumpstart your work mode. So here we are.

Though I also love all-day breakfast places, probably because I like eating breakfast, well, anytime nga! The concept is a good one, a novel one. Pero hindi pala siya novelty na bigla na lang nawawala. May sisipot at sisipot diyan sa tabi-tabi na ganyang place, and that's somehow comforting.

I still remember the very first all-day breakfast concept place na nakainan ko sa buhay ko. Sa Ortigas 'yun, mid-to-late '90s, a place like that opened sa El Pueblo Real, walking distance near my film office. Comforting siya, ewan ko kung bakit, or probably nadala din ako sa design ng blue and yellow, the usual decor for day-and-night type of places. Then a similarly sunny-decor place also opened dun sa Brick Road area sa likod ng Sta. Lucia Mall sa Marcos Hi-way. I tried it once lang, because if you're a commuter, hella place to commute to, during the '90s and early 2000s that area. Kaya luz.

But it's good that, thanks to these ride apps like GrabCar and Uber, I can now go to places where usually mahirap mag-commute papunta, lalo na kung di mo feel sumakay ng jeep kahit malapit lang dahil haggard ang mga biyahe sa rutang 'yun. Like this one we saw along Mayor Gil Fernando Ave, or formerly A. Tuazon Ave., dito sa Marikina.

That's my sweetie entering the place excitedly.
She had danggit in her silog minus the egg
while I sampled their eggs benedict on a pandesal.
OMG sarap siya bes! [June 2017]

Matteo's is a good place to eat, chika a bit, then run. The decor ain't much, and it doesn't make you wanna linger for longer. Other brekkie-style places are like that kasi, but this one, no. But it serves its purpose well, and more importantly, the food is great!

Lucky to have a partner who loves discovering eateries with me, and who loves all-day brekkie places, too. Not much of a morning person kami pareho, but all-day brekkie places are patok sa amin. So yeah, good match, eh? :)

And all is well in the universe.

Sige lafang na muna kesh. Kape later. And dive to work. 

Good morning, folks. Be well.

09 August 2017

missing windows

I missed my window for coffee today.

Over ice, near sunset.

So that's this chocolate drink I tried once, but they came out with a product that's part coffee, part chocolate milk, and part guarana. And I'm guessing it may not be as strong as the coffee I wanted to drink, but it's okay enough to consume as I work the night.

Sometimes it takes a while for me to work up the energy to work. I don't think this is about age (maybe partly) but it's like being prepared for the headspace for working on something. Especially if you're dealing with heavy development work here where your brain is the real weapon of (critical) mass emancipation, then you'll need to prep the body that houses it, and the surroundings that envelop it. So after running some errands outside, the body was kinda pooped on the inside. Rest, a bit of house cleaning, another shower, a late meal, and  then we're going back to the grind. But sometimes, the mind is still not up to it. I dunno. Sometimes, it's just like that.

There's always the option to work on other lighter things, with "lighter" being a relative term here. So maybe I'll just do that. And see where the night takes me, work-wise. Staring out at the window for a while helps, always. So I'll just do that for a while.

And blog a bit. So here we are.

It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.
Charot.
Palubog na si juliet beks.
Magtrabaho ka na!

Have a good evening to all. Time for me to hit the salt mines. Night shift si bakla today, so gorabels.