ako naman muna

dapat kanina pa ako natulog pero narito na naman ako. hindi na naman kasi ako makatulog. sabi ko nga sa inyo, pampatulog ko ang blogging. ewan ko kung bakit at paano. basta ganun na yun.

break din muna ito sa kaka-tsek ng mga papel ng mga estudyante ko. inuna ko muna ang mga gagradweyt kaya ang mga written thesis nila ang ginugulan ko ng panahon ngayon... at nakakaduling. sa kompyuter ko lang kasi pina-sumite dahil mahirap ding magbasa ng 80-page for binding manscripts. nakakaloka. kaya ang printed out lang na binabasa ko ay ang full-length scripts. yun, hindi nakakaloka, at saka kelangan ng espasyong pagsusulatan ko ng komento. kaya kahunghangan ang pagsumite ng full-length sa email. not to mention row4 mentality ito (not following instructions).

hay...buti na lang at hindi mga productions ang lalamayin ko, di tulad ng isa riyan na nag-uwi noong biyernes ng isang bag na dvds. buhay ka pa kuya? oy yung bag ko isoli mo ha.

hay...pero di pa tapos ang semestre ko. hangga't di ko nasusumite ang grades nilang lahat, walang tulugan pa rin ang drama ko...

*

hindi ko na maantay ang tag-init. inunahan na niya ako. narito na siya. pero dalawang ligo kada araw lang ang katapat nito. masarap, lalo na't may bagong water heater... salamat salamat.

*

pero natutuwa rin ako ngayon dahil may malaking bugso ng motibasyon sa pagsusulat na dumating na di ko alam kung saan galing pero di ko rin kukuwestiyunin kung bakit nariyan sa panahong nariyan siya. walang wrong timing sa pagsusulat. have idea, will scribble. yan ang motto ko sa life. hm, puwede ring sabjek yan ng susunod kong column... puwede puwede.

sa akala kong wala nang pag-asang humabol pa sa isang proyekto, ginanahan ako't naiba ang deadline nito. kaya ayun, kalahati na ng libro ang natapos agad, at isang buwan pa para tapusin ang natitirang kalahati. puwede puwede.

samantala, isang deadline naman ang ipinagdarasal kong lumipas na dahil lumipas na rin ang interes kong habulin ito... dahil hindi ako naniniwala sa pag-angat sa antas ng isang tao kundi sa pag-angat sa antas ng magaling na pagsusulat. malaki po kasi ang pagkakaiba noon. sobra. like worlds apart. pluto versus uranus ito. a fight to win the asteroid belt.

at ang pinaka-nakakaaliw na balita ay ang natapos ko na ang essay part ng aking MA thesis. nang walang study leave-study leave! i'm in the zone, man! hehehe. isang malaking YEHEY ito!

Y E H E Y !

actually, matagal ko na itong naisulat pero pinagpaliban ko ang pagtatapos nito dahil gusto ko muna sanang idaan sa aking bagong adviser. pero nang tiningnan ko siya kanina para ayusin ang formatting bago isumite, biglang pumutok ang mga ideya at ayun na, walang tigil ang agos ng mga salita, hanggang sa nailapat ang kahuli-hulihang tuldok na nagwakas sa masalimuot na saga ng MA CW essay na itp. oo, masalimuot siya dahil sa pagkarami-raming MA CW majors tulad ko na hindi kailanman nakatapos ng kanilang degree dahil sa lintik na essay na iyan. pero alam ko namang kailangan iyan sa buhay dahil MA nga ito at hindi MFA.

kaya bago lumisan patungo sa baguio workshops ang aking bagong adviser ay ihahabol ko ito sa kanya. sana naman...

pero alam ko, oo. matino siyang kausap, di tulad ng dati kong adviser -- homophobic na, macho shit pa. and these are not my words but the words of his colleagues in his department. may goddess have mercy on your soul once i finish this, i swear. just you wait.

just. you. wait.

UP Film Institute' Summer2008 Multimedia Workshops

UPFI SUMMER 2008 MULTIMEDIA WORKSHOPS


The UP Film Institute (UPFI) announces the opening of its SUMMER 2008 Multimedia Workshops – a series of short-term, specialized courses on the power of images and the various aspects of film and audiovisual production/exhibition.

The following courses will be offered.

1. ADVOCACY VIDEO : The Creative Process
Facilitator: Surf Reyes
Dates: 19-23 May 2008
Time: 10:00 am- 4:00 pm .
Venue: UPFI Videotheque (at the back of Cine Adarna)
Fee: P 5,000 inclusive of light snacks, handouts, and certificates.

2. BASIC SCRIPTWRITING for Beginners
Facilitator: Libay Linsangan Cantor
Dates: April 8, 11, 15, 18, 22
Time: 1:00 – 5:00 p.m.
Venue: A 107 a
Fee: P 6,000 inclusive of light snacks, handouts, and certificates.

3. INTERMEDIATE SCRIPTWRITING
Facilitator: Libay Linsangan Cantor
Dates: May 3, 10, 17, 24, 31

Time: 1:00 - 6:00 p.m.
Venue: A 107a
Fee: P 6,000 inclusive of light snacks, handouts, and certificates.

4. ADVANCED SCRIPTWRITING : Filipino Realities and Specificities for Experienced Writers
Facilitator: Armando Lao
Dates: April, 5, 12, 19, 26
Time: 1:00 pm. - 6:00 p.m.
Venue: UPFI Videotechque
Fee: P 4,000 inclusive of light snacks, handouts, and certificates.

5. CINEMATOGRAPHY

Facilitator: Nap Jamir
Dates: Schedule tentative (please wait for further announcements)
Time: tentative
Venue: UPFI Videotheque (at the back of Cine Adarna)
Fee: P 18,000 inclusive of 16mm film, processing, equipment use, light snacks, & certificates.

6. BLACK & WHITE PHOTOGRAPHY
Facilitator: Vivian Limpin
Dates: April 28, 30, May 2, 5, 7, 9
Time: 10:00 a.m. - 4:00 p.m.
Venue: A107b and Photolab
Fee: P 8,000, inclusive of B&W film, materials for developing, light snacks, & certificates.
Requirement: 35mm still camera

7. NON-LINEAR EDITING
Facilitator: Ramon Bautista
Dates: April 14- 16
Time: 10:00 a.m. - 6:00 p.m.
Venue: UPFI Post-Facility (at the back of Cine Adarna)
Fee: P 5,000 inclusive of use of equipment, light snacks, handouts, and certificates.

8. DOCUMENTARY FILM PRODUCTION
Facilitator: Milo Paz
Dates: 12-16 May 2008

Time: 10am- 5pm
Venue: UPFI Videotheque (at the back of Cine Adarna)
Fee: P 9,000 inclusive of use of equipment, light snacks, handouts, and certificates.

9. CURATING FOR CINEMA
Facilitator: Nonoy Lauzon
Dates: 21 May 2008 onwards (broken schedule, clas will decide when the next meeting will be)

Time: 2-5pm
Venue: UPFI Conference Room
Fee: P 4,000 inclusive of light snacks, handouts, and certificates.

10. EXPERIMENTAL FILM PRODUCTION

Facilitator: Sari Dalena

Dates: 21-25 April 2008

Time: 1pm-6pm

Venue: UPFI Post Facility

Fee: P 9,000.00 inclusive of use of equipment, light snacks, handouts and certificates

11. SEMINAR ON QUEER CINEMA

Facilitator: Lorna Israel

Dates: 01- 05 May 2008

Time: 1:00-5:00 pm

Venue: UPFI Conference Room

Fee: P 4,000.00 inclusive of light snack, handouts and certificates

12. WRITING ABOUT FILMS: Classical Film Theory and Criticism

Facilitator: Patrick Campos

Dates: 21-25 April 2008

Time: 10am- 5:00pm

Venue: UPFI Conference Room

Fee: P 4,000.00 inclusive of light snacks, handouts and certificates

13. WRITING ABOUT FILMS: Film Appreciation for the Young

Facilitator: Patrick Campos

Dates: 19-23 May 2008

Time: 10 am- 5:00 pm

Venue: A107b

Fee: P4,000.00 inclusive of light snacks, handouts and certificates

14. ANIMATION FOR CHILDREN

Facilitator: Bryan Quesada and Teta Tulay

Dates: 28 April – 02 May 2008

Time: 10am- 5:00pm

Venue: UPFI Post facility

Fee: P 6,000.00 inclusive of use of materials, light snacks, handouts and certificates

15. ANIMATION

Facilitator: Roxlee and Teta Tulay

Dates: 05 May- 14 May 2008

Time: 10:00am – 5:00 pm

Venue: UPFI Post Facility

Fee: P 9,000.00 inclusive of use of materials, light snacks, handouts and certificates

16. DIGITAL IMAGING (Digital Photography with Photo Manipulation)

Facilitator: Bryan Quesada

Dates: 19-23 May 2008

Time: 10am-5pm

Venue: UPFI Post Facility

Fee: P 6,000.00 inclusive of use of materials, light snacks, handouts and certificates

Tentative:

DIRECTING with Carlitos Siguion-Reyna

May 5-9, 2008

Fee to be announced soon.

Experimental Filmmaking with Kidlat Tahimik

(please wait for further announcements)

All workshops will be held at the facilities of the UPFI Cine Adarna or the College of Mass Communication (Annex Building), starting APRIL. Participants who enroll in and finish any of the courses will be given certificates of participation.

The UPFI is the country's first and only degree-granting film school, and it is the home of the first and longest-running production workshop series in the Philippines. The UPFI is a member of the International Association Schools of Film & Television (CILECT).

For inquiries, you may call us at the UPFI Cine Adarna, telephone numbers 9263640 / 92627222 (telefax), or mobile number 09156960875, e-mail us at <upfi_workshops@ yahoo.com. ph >, or visit our website <http://www.upd. edu.ph/~film_ institute/ workshop. html > and social networking account <http://upfilminstitute.multiply.com>.

UPFI curriculum change orientation: learn the changes on March28

If Film 112 Language and Grammar of Film becomes Film 131 Narrative Cinema, Film 113 Film Production I gets abolished, Directing/Production Design/Editing/Cinematography/Acting/Production Management becomes a required course, Film Genres/National Cinemas becomes an elective, your third year will require you to have 21 units per sem, what happens to your status as a film major? are you still entitled to enroll in new subjects like Film and the Other Arts, History of World Cinema, and Film 101 Introduction to Film Production?

More importantly, will the labfees increase with these changes in the UPFI curriculum? How much will your tuition be next year?

Filnd out this Friday, March 28, 2pm at the CMC auditorium.

The UPFI academic division will present the changes that will happen in the film program's curriculum starting next schoolyear.

We need UPFI students' opinions about the changes, particularly the labfee changes. If you want your voice to be counted, please attend this curriculum change orientation. This is your institute, so we want to hear from you.

Graduating students are also encouraged to join. We need to hear from you because, of all the students, you could give us more insight regarding the state of UPFI in terms of academic and technical performance.

Please come. Forward to your friends and classmates.

Thank you.

it's good, it's friday, it just is

it's good friday but i've stopped celebrating the tenets of catholicism for years now. that's why i'm thinking of cooking rice for late dinner with skinless longanisa and my leftover salade de tomate (or more appropriately, salade de tomate avec l'oeuf) last night. the faithful (fate-fool?) might frown upon this but i don't mind. it's my life, my body and my spirituality so deal with it. i don't mess with yours, so don't mess with mine.

it's good friday but it's not a vacation-type holy week. next week, we face the most toxic part of the end of second sem stuff. so i'll be absent and high. don't mind me if you say hi and i don't reply. that means i am stressed at work. it's not you; it never was. nothing personal. those who don't get this by now, well, won't probably get it anytime anyway. blah. not my loss.

*

now's the only time i found myself a bit rested and alone here at home. the liquids were here yesterday and we spent the night meeting meeting meeting away. the future looks bright in some areas.

oh yeah, one very happy bit of news made me jump jump jump earlier, prompting my nearly-adopted kid to ask what gives, but in a polite manner. i waited for his mom to wake up to tell her the good news. we are both so happy about it.

no, i'm not pregnant. charot! asa pa. hehe :P

as the two sped off in the sunset, literally, i went up and looked outside the windows. the house still smelled of smoke but i don't mind. sometimes, it's like that. most times, incense smoke fills it, too, that my girlfriend asked if i smoked a lot here. not really; only when i drink, c'est tout. ever since i wanted to keep the weight down through the workout mode, i cut down a bit on that department -- except when stress levels are high.

and high they are sometimes, especially when dealing with morons, imbeciles and stupid idiots who don't understand a thing at work. i hate people who think and ACT like they're the center of the universe. don't they know how the cosmos works? hi, i'm libay linsangan copernicus, here to dislodge your outdated theorem. stupida gaga.

hay....

*focus, focus*

buti na lang i subscribe to tenets of buddhism and i believe in karma. lintik lang ang walang karmic retribution. most things are on the up side and no idiot will ruin that for me. intiendes tonta?

*

finally, was able to check out the pool area of this place. we tested the waters, so to speak (pun intended) and it proves to be a good alternative for something i want to do. good, good. things will really be on the up and up here in this place.

as a good friend said some nights ago, "ang sarap umuwi, ano?"

oh yeah, you can never imagine.

grabe lang.

another good friend complimented the rainbow room. she got the ideas of what it is about. yet another good friend said it had an artistic feel/vibe to it kasi. that somehow solidified what i have been thinking all along. buti na lang.

salamat, mga mare.

kaya pala nagtatae na naman ako. ng mga istorya.

winner.

*

for more muni-muni, nakaw survey from lia muna. and i'll see some of you tomorrow.

----------

1. What do you think of the most when you are alone?
-- no particular thing na umuulit-ulit pero i usually think of stuff that recently happened and assess and reassess and reassess them to no end. my brain needs an off switch.

2. When it is a rainy night, what do you do most of the time?
-- try to stay home or stay put. no sense getting wet

3. When was the last time you were out?
-- that night we went to mdc only to find out it was closed, and we made a tour of several metros to find a decent place like it that's still open. wotta nyt

4. What do you do when you see a full moon?

-- appreciate it and give respect. la luna è mio dio

5. Would you rather swim in the lake or dive in the ocean?
-- magtampisaw lang kahit saan is good enough

6.What would be the best partner of a good cup of coffee?
-- in my twenties, it used to be a stick of yosi. now in my thirties, it's a bunch of peaceful thoughts

7. If you'll ask yourself a question now, what would it be?
-- how come you don't want to sell your soul for big bucks?

8. If certain things in your life will fall apart, what will you do?

-- try to pick the pieces and move on

9. Favorite month/s?
-- my birthday month, and months with bonuses hehe

10. When your friends forget you, what will you do?
-- kebs! di hindi ko pala sila friend. duh

11. Do you talk to yourself?
-- oh yes most of the time

12. Is there anything that you are craving for right now?
-- super sarap sisig ni rey sa pag-ibig pasig hehehe adik ako e sobra

13. I or you?
-- whatthe!

14. Ever cried for something stupid?
-- oo.

15. Your definition of sexy?
-- can be found in this survey answer hehe

16. Do you think you're sexy?
-- oo naman. i think i'm hot, too. yes, i am god's gift to women. hahahahahahaaha naha-high ako. huy joke lang ito ha. baka seryosohin ng mga engot diyan hahahahaha!

17. First thing you do after watching a movie?
-- asess whether it worked for me or not

18. Can you last two days without a bath?
-- ay no. di nga ko makalabas ng bahay na di naliligo e

19. Most common words in your house.
-- ay puke!

20. The last lie you told your parents?
-- um, may ginagawa pa ko, mamaya na kayo pununta... hehehe. actually, totoo naman ito. di ko lang sinabi kung ano hehehe. censored e.

21. Still go to the mall with your parents?
-- minsan pero with my mom lang naman e. kami lang mahilig mamasyal

22. Are you brand conscious?
-- i am conscious of brands that work and are reliable

23. Ever fell in-love?
-- yuh

24. where are you?
-- in the blue room

25. Is it in you to kill someone?
-- yes, especially when highly motivated

26. Daydream a lot?
-- yuh. pambalanse ito ng self-check

27. Happy with your life?
-- contented is more like it. happy kasi can come and go pero mas nagtatagal ang contentment

28. The most touching movie you've watched?
-- jusme i am a film enthusiast. mahaba ang sagot diyan ati

29. When did you last cry?
-- some weeks ago. out of sheer and utter frustration over an idiot

30. What is your favorite thing to eat with peanut butter?
-- soft bread

31. What do you want in your life right now?
-- an atm bank account that doesn't run out of money

32. Do you carry an umbrella when it rains, or just put up your hood?
-- may hidden umbrella somewhere

33. What's your favorite Gatorade flavor?
-- orange one

34. Whats your favorite thing to have on your bed?
-- my girlfriend

35. Do you tend to make relationships complicated?
-- no.

36. Do you dance?
-- yuh

37. Do you live near your ex boyfriend/girlfriend?
-- no and thank heavens!

38. Something you just don't understand?
-- why some people do not know how to listen and understand the information they are absorbing

39. What is the last thing someone bought you?
-- i can't remember. undies? jacket last xmas

40. Do you trust people easily?
-- i used to but i've wisened up

41. What are you proud of?
-- that i've remained credible in the networks i circulate in throughout the years

42. When you sleep do you dream about heroin addicts?
-- whatthe!

43. Do you care what others think about you?
-- only to see if i am still on the right track

44. Do you think you'll be married in 10 years?
-- if it becomes legal, i could consider it

45. What do you look forward to in the next 3 months?
-- new opportunities smiling at me

46. Do you plan on moving in the next year?
-- i just settled here. i ain't going nowhere. and for more of that, watch out for the next issue of yapak travel magazine :) uuuy nag-plug na hehehe :P

to my Film 200 theis defense advisees: BASAHIN!

naglabas na ako ng announcement regarding defense skeds etc sa multiply ng upfi. pakitignan na lang at pakisabi na rin sa iba pang magde-defend, lalo na sa mga makukulit at pasaway.

here's the link:

http://upfilminstitute.multiply.com/journal/item/36/Film_200_Thesis_Defense_semi-final_listing

add up our upfi account naman para updated kayo sa mga UPFI stuff, both sa academic and sa theater and extension services.

upfilminstitute.multiply.com

good luck, guys. bawas-bawasan ang self-doubts and insecurities na yan, please lang. we all eat film criticism for breakfast, di ba? kering-keri yan. be firm filmmakers. wokei? go go go!

isang araw, ikukuwento ko sa inyo ang nangyari sa thesis defense ko nung undergrad ako. but that's another blog entry.

ta ta!

ps sa mga newly-added friendships ko dito, welcome! and see you guys and gals around! :)

marimar fan ka ba?

sori na lang at tapos na ang show. boohooyou. chuva!

pero for more of marimar or marian, its star, buy ka ng march issue ng mega magazine. siya ang cover girl of the month at ang inyong lingkod ang nagsulat ng cover story. la lang. self-promo.




for the record, that's not the original title of my article. magaling silang mag-edit. as in. magaling. one of these days i-post ko na lang siguro yung orig artik. kung di niyo type bumili ng magazine. i won't blame you. mahal na sobra ang mga glossies na ganitich i swear.

ako rin nga pala nagsulat ng isang sidebar story about her chever with sunsilk. at least yun they retained everything, including the title. bet lang.

but i didn't stick around for the pictorial. kakagaling ko lang sakit nito noon when i interviewed her. hindi kinaya ng powers ko ang maraming bagay.

yes, i find him backstage. char.

kayo talaga.

o ang isa diyan, tuwang-tuwa, kasi tapos na ang trabaho niya sa show hahaha. o istorya mo na ang harapin natin next. text text.

pampalipas-bugnot

alam niyo, natutuwa naman ako pag nakikita ko ang paryentes ko. pero lagi na lang may sabit na mangyayari kada engkuwento, miniscule man o gigantic. hay...

so dahil nasira na ang momentum ko sa pagsusulat, sarbey break na lang muna. pampatulog na rin. aga pa bukas, have a long short week ahead. istorbo itong blocking ng holy week na itey ha sa tututs lang. azar.

-------

1.Do you like to smile?
--only when motivated

2. Do you love music?
--as much as i love cinema

3. Who do you share all or most of your personal secrets with?
--my self. don't ask why; it's just like that e

4. Do you love to shop?
--if i have an unlimited account, surely!

5. If u were given a chance to buy anything u want in the world, what would it be?
--my own media conglomerate (tv station, film production company, postproduction house, recording studio, publishing house, printing press, radio station)

6. Why are you completing this survey?
--because i'm drunk. charot.

7. The:

a) grossest thing u ever heard?
--too many to mention hahahahaha

b) yummiest thing u ever ate? -
--as of now, that slice of pizza sa shakey's is nice

c) cutest boy/girl ever saw?
--i am way past this stage, ati

8. If u were given a chance to rule a country, what country would it be?
--monaco, kasi mayaman sila at nasa europe at maliit lang kaya manageable saka kasi ang head nun ay prince (albert) so kung ako yun, magiging princess ako, tama lang for royalty without being too yabang to be queen, di ba?

OR the vatican (yes, it is considered a country) para mapalitan ko na ang age-old rules and views nila on women, homosexuality and all things they see as deviant of their faith at ire-rewrite ko ang biblia para maging gender-friendly. i swear.

9.The time you're confused the most?
-- wala naman

10.The thing that would make u like a guy/ girl?
--kung caring siya. care always works. sincere care, that is, not a mock one. i swear maraming ganun

11. Are u always happy?
--no. no one is.

12. Are u easily jealous?
--yes. i know i have to change this. nature of taurus kasi e, potah

13. Do u always share drinks with someone?
--not really

14. Are u noisy?
--only in bed. CHAROT! hahahahaha. depende sa sitwasyon

15. Do u know how to rollerblade?
--ayaw. skateboard pa oo.

16. Do u like to give hugs?
--yeah. but only to those who want to receive them

17. Do u know how to ice skate?
--gusto ko i-try

18. Do u like guys/girls who curse?
--depende sa frequency

19. Are u a goody-goody or a naughty kid?
--naughty kid ako growing up. sobra lang! just ask my titas. but like my cantor pinsans, we become goody goody after we hit puberty. hindi ko alam kung bakit. i swear. lahat kami trouble child noong elem days pero once we reach hs/coll/adult life, bumabait kami. it must be genetic.

20. Do you think of your future?
--hay naku, when i reached 32, i stopped thinking of the future. because i thought: FUCK. NOW IS MY FUTURE NA! so there.

21. Do you easily fall in love?
--when i was younger. but now, i learned to be more discerning

22. Are you addicted to someONE now?
--addicted is such a nasty word, so no

23. Are u a complicated person?
-- VERY. ask the people who truly know me

24. If you were given a chance to tell someone something what would it be?
--dude, YOU SUCK!

25. Will you have sex with the same sex?
--anu bang kahunghangan ito? syempre!

26. What is the one thing you'd love to have?
-- a media conglomerate

27. What keeps you busy?
-- work work and more work

28. Do you have a special someone?
-- yes, and i miss her dearly

29. What will you do after answering this survey?
--sleep, if the cosmos will permit

30. Who is the last person to make you cry?
-- a co-worker. cried out of anger and frustration. PAKSHET SYA. c'est tout. salope!

31. Do you Pray?
--in my own way, yeah

32. What can you say about this survey?
--wala lang

33. Do you love poetry?
--yes but i don't think poetry loves me. fiction loves me, though.

34. What are you listening right now?
-- nothing in particular


35. Who was the last person in your mind?
--my mahal


Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months without cheating?
--oo naman. taurus ako chong. may backing ang stars. charot.

~What are you doing now?
obvious bah!

~What is one thing you question a lot?
--money, and its elusiveness hahahahaaaha

~Are you married?
--to my mahal, in spirit

~Have you ever regret letting someone go?
--no. on the contrary, was happiest to let them go

~Is there anyone who doesn't like you?
--people who are threatened by my security

~Do you miss someone
--my mahal

~Did any of your friends go out with any of your exes?
-- as we used to say in college, IDC,IDK (i don't know and i don't care)

~Are looks important?
--depende sa okasyon pero oo naman

~What are you wearing?
--shirt and shorts

~Are you mad at someone right now?
--YOU CANNOT IMAGINE! yes. biatch siya.

~How did you wake up this morning?
fairly well, thanks

~Which is more romantic: sunrise or sunset?
--i am a sunset freak so you know where i go

~Quick say a verse from any song?
i'm a bitch im a lvoer i'm a child i'm a mother...


~How many letters are in your lastname?
stupid question.

~How was your day?
fine!

~Do you live near any of your friends?
no!

~How do you walk?
one foot then the other? whatthe!

~What do you think of BOB MARLEY??
he's a dope head? whatthe!

~Do you believe in love?
hay, trick question ba ito?

~How old do you want to be when you have kids?
i don't want my own kids. i can adopt tho

~Do you hate your last boyfriend/girlfriend?
LOATHE is more like it. i wish she were dead. ten times over.

~Do you only drink bottled water?
--no

~Are you happier single or in a relationship?
--one should be happy whether single or not.

~Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
--depende sa kasalanan nila the first time. kung rape, no. bitay ang hayup na yan agad. same with abusive jowas. mananapak o mananampal or whatnot, mamatay na sila.

~Would you believe ur enemy if they said they loved you?
-- no!

~Do you wish someone would call you?
--yeah pero wala siya landline e

~What is bugging you right now?
--the fact that i have to work after holy week. bummer ang blocking ng holiday na itich! potah

~If someone doesn't like you,
--sai nga ni bulak, KEBS! love u mother! mwah!

to the biggest mutha effin fooker in da world...

please leave me alone.

or die. like now na.

i'll take any. either. both. just leave me the fuck alone.

again, i can't sleep, but it's not what you think...

just today (or yesterday, kasi umaga na pala), got this link from several sources. handame lang ha, mga chismosa kayo! hehehe. and curiosity got in the way of sleep. and here we are.

yes, i checked it out. it's a blog of an australian gay guy who got gypped of 70k dollars by an alleged social climber guy na ex niya na pinoy. until he gets his money back, he dishes the dirt on famous socialites of today blah.

well, let me just say, it's like kitty go all over again. but with real vendetta. she was just catty and bitchy (and distanced). this brian guy is, wow...scorned, man. grabeh.

and i understand why.

kawawa.

*

i've been meaning to buy kitty's book since i heard of it sometime in the early 2000s. at that time kasi, i was also outlining a book similar in project.

okay, back story. that link above is about the chi chi high society pasosyal group of today with noted people like celine lopez and tim yap. the rest, read na lang yourself. basta something about this group that baptized itself as the "gucci gang" daw. whatever.

anyway, kitty go was the former publisher sa summitmedia, ng Yes at Preview. but she came out with a book fictionalizing the local tinseltown happenings. in short, yung sinasabi ng writer ko dati sa dyaryo na "showbiz ka-cheap-an." her book was entitled WHEN CHIC HITS THE FAN. she came out with a sequel CHIC HAPPENS. pero by then, wala na talaga siya sa showbiz world.

when i read her own account sa inquirer before, when the first book was launched, natawa ako sa ibang kuwento niya. this multiplier reposted that. natawa ako. sobra. sobrang-sobra. kasi naka-relate ako. sobra.

*

before chic, i also wanted to do a fictionalized tell-all of local showbiz, its kababawans, the funny tales, artista stuff, behind the scenes, whatever i was able to experience in my early stint there. my inspiration was this book entitled YOU'LL NEVER HAVE LUNCH IN THIS TOWN AGAIN by an ex-woman producer in hollywood who got fed up by the hollywoodness of the industry, especially the machismo. needless to say, pareho sila ng naging fate ni kitty--showbiz outcast. but both of them were not apologetic nor sorry they wrote it. kasi totoo siya.

since i wasn't able to get a copy of that book, i thought of refashioning my own book sana after the original SEX AND THE CITY novel, na sketch-style pero wala lang ding names. anyway, short of saying i haven't finished this project yet because it kept on evolving.

but only for this kitty go's excerpt sa inquirer article na yun, talagang na-inspire ako noon to do my version:

excerpt:
When chic hits the fan
Posted: 9:20 PM (Manila Time) | Feb. 16, 2002
By Kitty Go
Inquirer News Service

Foot in mouth disease

If there was anyone born with this disease, it had to be me. Of course, this disease doesn't cover quotable lines such as one from Giselle Tongi who told one of my former editors that she liked the "animosity" of not being recognized whenever she visited the United States. Or Troy Montero's answer of "Boracay" to the question of what his favorite city in the world was. Or Diether Ocampo's explanation of his love of New York for its "monumental landmarks."


ay nako 'te, i still have the cassette tapes and the micro cassette tapes of interviews of things like this that can be used as material for such...such...works of art. hahaha!

taena when i read this years ago, tumambling ako sa kakatawa. at gusto ko siyang dagdagan.

di ba HARMESH? hahahahaha! yes, hilig ko ay pink. waaaaaaah. poooootah...gusto ko maglaslasssss...

*

pero saka na yun. i still have this project at the back burner, waiting for new inspiration. and believe me, i am getting it! almost daily now! hahaha. chos.

abangan.

for now, makiki-chismis muna rin ako dun sa kabila hihihi :P

kalurkey.

lumang likha at bagong isipin

anthologized in TAXI SIGNS (2000)
written sometime in 1997-98

--------
AT

alam ko
ito dapat
pero
di nararapat
kasya
sa peklat
nguni't
di rin sapat

alam niya
ito dapat
di pa kasi
tuluyang lapat
pero iyan
kanyang kinalat
meron pang
patpat

alam niyang
siya'y barat
alam niyang
ako'y warat
pero bakit
may ikaapat
sa tinatagong
lamat?

alam niya
burat, burat
alam ko
mabigat
alam niya
lahat-lahat
bakit pa rin
sumusulat?
-----------


*

mas mainam yan pag binasa. ginawa ko na noon. pinalakpakan nila ako. at natuwa sila. wala akong pakialam sa palakpak. mas nais ko ang tuwa na dulot ng pagkaisip at pag-intindi sa aking mga salita.

lagi naman e. pero di yata alam ito ng karamihan.

*

dapat kanina pa ako tulog, pero narito na naman ang katawan dahil ang diwa ay buhay pa. ano ang mararating nito?

kasi kanina pa ako may naisip na saknong na sa di ko mawaring dahilan ay nais kong ibahagi sa espasyong ito.

untitled siya.

-------------------------
looking at your past
hurts me in the present
do you think of our future?
-------------------------

di ko rin mawari kung bakit bigla akong kinagat ng mga salitang di ko nabasa. pero nang mabasa ko na, naghanap pa ako ng karagdagang salita para mabalewala ang mga nabasa ko. pero sa halip na kapayapaan ng isipan ang nahanap, karagdagang pagkabagabag ang sumambulat sa aking katauhan. kaya ngayon, kasiping ko'y serbesa. isa lang dapat, pero dahil sa pagkayanig, heto't nasa ikalawa na ako. hindi rin nakatulong na sa pakiramdam ko'y wala akong silbi sa iyo. hindi rin nakatulong na naisip kong malaki ang utang na loob mo doon ngayon. hindi ko alam kung saan nanggagaling ang talipandas na pag-iisip na ito, pero di ko maalis sa katauhan ko ngayon...pero salamat sa serbesa at antok, unti-unti na siyang lumilisan sa aking katawan. sana'y lisanin niya ang aking isipan, nang manumbalik ang pagkapayapa nito na kanina'y naramdaman...at kagabi.

abangan.

*

ilang beses bang mararamdaman ito? sana'y hindi na umulit.
kaya lang alam kong ito'y may pagkakulit
matitiis kaya niya na ako'y aliwin ng saglit
ngayong ang pasensiya niya'y kadalasang nawawaglit?
sana nama'y wala sa aming maipit
sa sikip ng espasyo at luwag ng nasasambit...

puwede bang mag-comment?

as i write this, binibining pilipinas is airing live on tv. strange lang.

ganda ng opening number. so filipino. the colors, the choreo, the obb, very fiesta filipinas ang motif, may northern tribes dancing, may mga maskara-maskara na parang santacruzan na parang ati-atihan. very indigenous ang look at pd, ang music, may kubing, sounds like local instruments, chenelyn...and then the contestants came.

hindi ko alam kung sobra lang sa retokado galore ang contestants or perhaps we should call this binibining pilipinas-hybrids! kasi parang walang mukhang tunay na pinoy sa mga gels! as in, yung isa mukhang half-indian, yung isa parang may european accent and bulas, karamihan parang fil-am (more am than fil), yung iba parang mukhang amerikana talaga o basta caucasian ba. ang weird! ano ba ito, binibining pilipinas-hybrid na talaga ati! dapat hindi na lugar ang intro nila ("i'm chenelyn chuva from legazpi citeeee!") kundi ang kanilang genetic make-up ("i'm chenelyn chuva with the sperm donation of the anglo-saxon northern european chenelyn!")

nakakaloka.

feeling ko dapat may before and after photo session category din dapat dito. yun bang ipapakita sila 2 years ago then cite sa multiple choice kung ano ang influence-slash-sponsor niya: block and white, maxipeel, ponds whitening lotion, calayan, belo, ever bilena whitening...tapos may award sa "most transformed individual" di ba.

ewan. cynical. blah.

obviously i disapprove of such categorization based on beauty but i still find myself attracted to watching the spectacle. i don't know why.

*

nung maliit ako, malikot akong batang babae. lagi akong sumesemplang, nadadapa, at kung anu-ano pang rough play. kapag nagkakagalos ako, laging bukambibig ng mga tita ko sa akin "hala, 'pag marami kang peklat, di ka na namin puwedeng isali sa Miss Universe o sa Bb Pilipinas."

HMMMMMMMMMMMM.

obviously, it didn't work. unless may bagong category: binibining pilipinas-tomboy!


kainis.

*

so to every binibini out there, maligayang araw ng kababaihan!

okay back to work na.

blurt outs: anti-thesis of thought balloons

minsan, in lieu of thought ballooning (mga thoughts that you keep to yourself and don't say out loud lest you're prepared for wor[l]d war 3), i also do blurt outs.

ito naman yung may naiisip ka tapos bigla mong masasambit. o kaya ito yung may reaction ka about something na hindi mo ma-contain and you just have to let it out vocally. kahit may kausap ka o wala. kahit mag-isa ka o hindi.

in short, slight baliw-baliwan mode.

kanina, isa lang ang blurt out ko:

ANG BABAW! WAHAHAHAHA!

this is in reaction to a cover story of a magazine i read. i had to read it because the celebrity they did the cover story of is also the same celebrity i recently interviewed for another cover story for another magazine. competitor actually. i read competition just to make sure that i don't duplicate what they already wrote about. siyempre, tricks of the trade and self-check.

taka lang ako kasi parang di dumaan sa editing yung article na yun. at saka ang babaw nga ng approach nila sa storya. e napaka-multi-dimensional nga nitong feature nila e. sus. sobra. i actually had a crush on her (ay, clue!) after i interviewed her, because of her pananaws and approach sa life. not to mention we had a lot of things in common (same likes baga), and our birth dates ay one day apart lang (actually magkasunod, una siya). saka malambing siya, and not the showbiz kind. you can see that she is built that way, from the inside. mahahalata mo naman kung hindi e, lalo na sa showbiz. hindi siya ganun.

hay naku i'm dreaming na. o siya gising muna ko.

la lang, inaaliw ko lang sarili ko.

dahil walang takas sa stars...

patay. buking ako ng universe:

-----------------

Taurus Horoscopes

(Apr 20 - May 20)

Tuesday, Mar 4th, 2008 -- You are a bit stressed at work, but you cannot just go home to avoid the tension. Don't worry; you'll be able to rest later. Although your heart may not be totally committed, you need to show up for others anyway. Even if you have uncertainties about your capability, don't hold back. Fulfill your current responsibilities the best you can and then tackle what's next.
-----------------

strange sobra.

man, i hope i get to rest now. as in.

kakapagod kasi e.

*

talking about things that remind me why i gave up on something is quite disconcerting to me lately. i really don't know if i want to go back to that life again, a life i already tried and got tired of, eventually. yes, i know this is scary. but... hay...

don't mind me. i'm talking to the cosmos.

isang round pa nga ng aurora borealis dyan. ch

ar.

*

someone said someone's leaving. i say GOOD RIDDANCE. the country doesn't need another credit-grabbing social climbing pretender.

which reminds me. why do i have friends who credit-grab? as a bunch of concept creators, shouldn't we be protective of each other's concepts instead of the other way around? ano'ng nangyari sa inyo, ha? punyeta.

but yeah, don't remind me. i've been robbed so often that i wonder why people don't learn from their past. i certainly did. that's because, unlike most filipinos, i look at my past and actually learn from it.

such is me. chos.

*

a dear friend said earlier that miss niya tuloy ang good ol' days namin when all we had was innocence and stink from 3 days of no ligo ligo because we were doing a marathon tuhog film shoot.

ako, di ko miss yon. kasi ayoko nang tumakbo on red bull and one hour of sleep each day for 2 consecutive days and then go straight to editing for the whole afternoon the third day while making katok the groupmates to hurry na with the fucking original musical score na tapusin na nilang i-record dahil hindi ko mailatag ang audio bed sa punyetang LINEAR EDITING MACHINE. at nasa fishbolan silang lahat. malamig sa editing room at wala akong jacket. hudassssssss ito.

but yeah, those were fun days, i admit.

before we all became professional. and that changed everything.

you know what i mean.

*

no, hindi ako naiinggit at hindi ako nanghihinayang. you know what? i'm actually happy where i am today. okay na ako doon. sa inner life, i mean.

at least hindi ako nato-trobol o nasisipa or naiintriga or nafo-force to resign ng mga networks and companies na dinaanan ko no. i'm proud of that. my networks are solid. integrity kasi yan e. yan ang wala sila kasi e. hmp.

sabi nga ni ate vi, "it's not my problem anymore; it's your problem anymore!"

tapos.