veedayshmeeday

Nakakatuwa talaga ang mga contacts ko sa social media oo. Lalo na sa araw na ito hehe. Tulad ng tweet ng aking longtime nang kakilala sa LGBTQ movement, si Binibining Camel, na laging nakakaaliw ang tweets hehe:

Hahaha ganyan din ako eh. Ayoko ng lumalabas kapag ang buong Metro Manila ay nakikiuso sa mga bagay na komersyal o ginagawang komersyal ang bagay na di naman sana dapat ganun ka-OA ang peg. Tulad ng Pasko, pati Holy Week, 'yung mga tao na dumadagsa sabay-sabay para mag-out of town sa pare-parehong panahon. Yaiks gudlak sa trapik mga teh! Heygard.

Lalo na kaya ngayon! Valentine' Day shmalentinesday my foot, man. Daming tao sa labas niyan! Although marami na rin sa feeds ko ang nagsasabing stay-at-home ang peg nila today, marami pa ring lalabas. Lalo na ang mga tutungo sa check-in mwahahahaha! Naaalala ko tuloy, noong kasagsagan ng kasikatan ni Running Priest, nagtatrabaho yata ako sa diyaryo pa noon, nakita ko ang balita sa TV na may ginawang gimik si padir isang Vday night: tumakbo siya sa iba't ibang motel at KINAKATOK niya ang mga pinto! To the tune of telling people to celebrate Valentine's in a pure way etc etc (read: Catholic guilt trip). Oh man, I am SO not kidding about this. (Wala naman yatang lumabas sa mga kinatok niya para silipin kung anong meron hahaha!) Napanganga ako nung napanood ko yung balita. Lakas din ng amats ni padir to do that wahahahah! Yes, now I could say that! Kasi dati, sa diyaryong pinagtatrabahuhan ko, columnist namin siya kaya di din ako makapag-print ng super-sexy cleavage photos ng mga artista hahahaha lekat na buhay entertainment editor iteyyyy! But I digress. 

Heniweys hemingway, hindi naman bitter ang lola niyo. Kasi ang pilosopiya ko sa buhay sa araw na ito ay na-summarize yata ng maganda ng isang kakilalang journalist, na may dagdag-analysis pa siyang mega-PAK NA PAK sa akin hehe:

So there. Na pinalawig ko naman dito sa article na ito na hiningi ng aking favorite queer church peeps: "Ang Valentine Cha-cha ng Buhay" na parte ng kanilang love reflections series, mga series na ginagawa nila paminsan-minsan. Kakatuwa ring basahin yung ibang reflection pero puro beki. Ako pa lang ang unang biyaning sa series ngayon. Baka may iba pa sa susunod na araw, let's see.

An excerpt:

Minsan ang lovelife, parang sayaw lang iyan. Minsan, in-sync kayo sa

choreography ng kasayaw mo. Minsan, kaliwa pareho ang paa niyo pero pinipilit niyo pa ring umindak. Minsan naman, ‘yung isa lang ang magaling at nagli-lead at tagasunod lang ang isa para di matapilok. Minsan naman,nagkakatamaran na kayong magsayaw kaya inaantay niyo na lang ang pag-fade out ng kantang ginagalawan ninyo. Minsan naman, bigla kayong aayaw sa galawan at aalis na lang sa dancefloor kahit di pa tapos ang tugtog na nasimulang sayawan. Give and take, ikaw muna bago siya, paurong-pasulong, paikot-patagilid, pailalim-paibabaw, patalon-pahinto. Iba-iba ang tono, iba-iba rin ang kembot. Ganyan minsan makipagrelasyon sa babae kung ikaw ay kapwa babae rin. 

Hehe inspired ako bigla magsulat niyan. Nalampasan na nga ako ng deadline kasi ang reklamo ko kay bakla, bakit naman tinapat pa ako sa Vday mismo kalerks! Eh ngayon ngang galing ako sa mga modang puki-muna-bago-puso mantra for the year eh ako pa ang pinagsulat ng lurv reflection talaga ni boklooo! Kalerks. Pero ayan at may matino namang napiga, so happy na rin heheh. Ako na mume-metaphor.

Speaking of p-muna-bago-p philosophies hehe, ito namang si editor kong lezziebelz ay nagulat daw sa mga latest stories na shine-share ko sa POC Pinoy LGBT channel gig namin. Kasi nga Vday kaya sabi ko , gagawa ako ng series para thematic. Lesbian date scene ang naisip ko kaya nga yun ang nasimulan last time with the Fil-Chinese dating story. Then kasunod nito, itong "Si Ms. Mwah-mwah online na Ms. Tikom offline" ang sunod kong sinulat. Kwento ito ng pakikipag-date sa mga madaldal sa chat pero olats naman sa personal. Dami ganyan kaya nga minsan, 'pag may nagpapapampam na naman sa akin online, tinitignan ko muna kung mapapanis laway ko sa kanila offline or what. 

Kaya wagi rin 'pag nakakakita ka ng hindi ganun paminsan-minsan. O kaya 'yung date ay nagiging hindi na romantic ang peg hehe. Hashtag alamna! Sinulat ko rin 'yun at doon yata tumambling na may back flip sabay split si editor hahaha. Baka next week na i-publish hehe. Eh sabi ko nga, tame pa 'yan. Wait for the wild stories mwahahaha! Oo, now they could be told! Kasi malakas na ang loob ko to go back to erotica writing since I no longer teach hehe. Major perk of that. Kaya siguro ko rin sine-censor ang sarili ko sa mga bagay na erotisismo ang peg dahil dito. Ngayun-ngayon ko lang talaga ito napagtanto, nung umalis na ako finally sa pagtuturo. Oh yes, liberation! Kaya abang lang kayo sa mga erotica writing ko haney! Bumabalik na si bakla, with a vengeance!

Kamusta naman sa opening line ito, say mo:

"Oh, those hands. They're always cold, when we first meet up. But I tell you, those hands, the cold, shivering fingers, they'll be inside of me, later on, very warm, as they try to make me shiver, shiver from the inside."

'Yan ang resulta ng #taglibog at #alamna modes ng buhay hahahaha! Literatura, baby! Lekat. Hahaha. Sorry inaaliw ko lang sarili ko. Tagal ng Pizza Hut delivery eh, tomjones na.

But yeah, such lines. They've been coming in trickles lately. Na dumadalas. Like ang dami! That's why I've been trying to just hole myself in my sanctuary and just type away. As a result, a new novel is slowly being structured, a screenplay is already in its 12th sequence (or in layperson's terms, that's 25 minutes of a 2-hour-ish movie) and there's a handful of new short fiction with opening lines and characters forming. May naisingit pa ngang one-act play synopsis diyan kamusta naman. Not bad, eh, not bad. Now let's hope I get to finish all of these within the year. Yoiks! Wish me luck.

Pero tuloy pa rin ang ilang raket ng buhay. Para maki-Vday din kami sa #WhipIt kyeme, kinabog ko ang ilang kaibigan para makakuha ng quotable quotes ng empowered Valentine definition, pandagdag sa mga pina-gather ko sa mga katrabaho kong jugets doon. At ito ang resulta: an empowered Valentine slideshow.

"14 on 2/14: Women (re)interpret an empowered kind of love"

Ito yatang kay Louie, a fellow writer na kaklase ko dati sa isang 

MA Creative Writing class, ang fave kong quote. 

Kasi zume-zen si ati hihi eh bet ko 'yung ganyan. 

Of course lahat naman ng quotes ng friendships ko 

sa list ay type ko. Pero this one talks to me the best. 

#zenmode nga kasi siguro. Also funny to discover before 

na my ka-zazen sa Zen Center sa Marikina is Louie's mom 

pala hehe while Louie naman became so into yoga na. Kewl!

Happy naman ito. Parang 'yung article project ko last week, about global Pinays naman so siyempre, puro mga nasa FB contacts ko lang lahat ng kinausap ko at ayan na sila hehehe article na. 

My latest Rappler solo byline piece: 

"Importing, exporting stereotypes: How do global Pinays cope?"

Yes, believe me, I really know a lot of people. Like A LOT! Sabi nga ng berks kong lez noon, I'm like God on Friendster hahaha at di pa uso FB nun ha. Ganyan talaga ang networking teh, lalo na if you choose to be a nice person when circulating in many fields and industries wherever you are. You get to meet nice people and the nice people remember you as well. So there. Kaya di mahirap sa akin mag-source ng mga tao para sa mga ganyang project hihihi. Ayuz. 

Pero sa dami naman ng tao sa paligid ko, takot naman yatang makipag-date sa akin hahaha. Hayst, story of my life, as usual hehe. May isang butch na mapangahas, nag-post ng tanong sa askfm site ko, if keri daw ba ako lumabas with her na butch at tinatanong kung butch din daw ba tanaw ko sa sarili ko. I posted this interesting quip sa FB ko and of course, my friends had a field day with it hahaha! Go for gold daw! Eh sabi ko wala, dinaga yata si butch, walang follow-up. And my dapper butch friend said di daw totoong butch 'pag ganyang umaatras hahaha! Yeah, my friends are weird and funny like that. Love 'em to bits. 

Kaya wala, back to being anonymous talaga ang project ko sa buhay. Na medyo mahirap ma-achieve nga dito sa Maynila. Ilang years ko na ring spiel kaya ito noh? Pero swerte rin minsan at may natatagpuan, natitipuhan. Dedma na kung di successful ang ending. Minsan naman, nasa journey ang lesson ng life at wala sa ending ng journey. Kaya yun na lang ang iniisip ko. Tulad nga ng summary ko sa MCC love reflection na iyon, kebs lang at keep on dancing lang ang peg. Ayoko nang magdeklara ulit dito, tulad ng dati, na kapag sasabihin kong "okay lang ako na halaman this year" tapos may bonggang bonggang lovelife na darating. May nag-point out sa akin nun eh hahaha. So siguro, di na lang ako magdedeklara ng anything muna, out loud, because I know the universe is listening and hmmm taking notes. 

For now, I don't know yet, but many things are hanging for me. And you know what? I actually like it that way. Yung huling gumago sa akin, tanong ng tanong niyan: ano ba ang plano mo sa buhay? Ilang beses ko na siyang sinagot na ikalawang buhay ko na ito kaya pinapakiramdaman ko pa. Pero di niya maintindihan. Sabagay, mahina kasi ang pag-intindi niya sa maraming bagay din kaya hinayaan ko na lang. People like that, hindi naman nila maiintindihan ang mga people like me. Pinagalitan na naman nga ako ng superfriend K about that. Kumuha na raw kasi ako ng intellectual equal ulit. I'm like hmmm di ko naman sinasadya na makuha eh hindi equal teh hehe. Or akala ko sa umpisa, equal ang project pero di pala hehe. Well, whatever. 

This is actually my "take it easy year" which is a plan that I wanted to do ever since I turned 40. Yes, my gulay, kuwarenta na lola mo, pero I could still outrun many out there sa mga larangang, ahem, di naman nakikita sa edad ang peg hahahahaha #alamna. OhyouknowwhatImean. Well, that's the feedback anyway hehe. Charut!

So this is what my forty looks like. 

As a girl told me when she saw this shot, 

hot hot hot hahaha. Ako na nagbabaga. Charut!

And taking it easy entails me not gambling my heart so much again, like before. Being more in control of what emotion I permit to envelop me when it comes to that thing called love. Having the time to enjoy simple pleasures more and not pressure myself to join any kind of rat race muna ulit. Or ever. Chill lang. And write write write! Itong mga konsepto kong mga '90s pa at '00s eh ayan, lekat nakikita ko nang may nakakaisip na rin na iba at ginagawa na nila eeek! Nauunahan na naman ang peg. Kaya kelangan ko na talagang umupo at tutukan ito teh. 

Bought this sexy baby to accompany me on this new journey. 

We are so ready to roll!

But of course, we welcome the diversions naman every now and then. Di naman din nawawala iyon lately. In fact, nampotah dumadami pa nga eh! Ewan ko lang sa universe kung bakit but hey, I ain't complainin' man hahaha. Deluge lang beks, deluge ka lang gow. Basta masaya lang ang life, ang utak, ang keps, ang bulsa, wagi tayo dyan teh hehe. Kahit later na si heart, keri lang din. Kelangan din kasing ipahinga yan eh, sa totoo lang. Medyo bugbog pa rin yata kasi. Kaya ganyan lang muna. Chillax and take it easy. So there.

And that's how I empower myself this Valentine: loving myself more. Can't go wrong with that.

Ever.

BBBayli mode-ing

At the risk of sounding like an advert, let me just say that I love love love having a BlackBerry phone. Mightiest best buy ever grabe sobra for this year, gadget-wise hehe. Super ang superlatives teh. Ganung levels kasi eh.

Got it under a prepaid plan under Globe, then enrolled in an unlimited BB internet usage scheme, 

giving me the chance to go online all the time, especially with that BBM messaging scheme thingie. 

Wagas siya teh. Wagas. (April 2012 at the Globe Business Center SM Marikina)

As I mentioned in my previous post, I am a fan of communication -- and also the reinvention and enhancement of it, I should add. Now I see the appreciation of onsite journalists who praise the usefulness of such gadgets in coverage situations. Even if I'm not a hard news journalist, sometimes I treat the gadget as if I am one. But of course I use it merely to inform my family and friends of what's happening to me and what I'm doing and such via the various social networking sites we're on. Well, mostly Twitter and Facebook for us.

 Oh yeah, but I did use it as a journalist once na nga pala. In an impromptu walk with an interviewee 

for a magazine I'm going to write for, I wasn't able to get to my recorder gadget in time. 

But since my BB was already in my hand, I just used it to access the voice recorder and 

take pictures for reference. Useful! (May 2012 at Enchanted Farm Cafe along Commonwealth Ave QC)

Well, basically, I got this for a specific one-track-mind objective, to tell you the truth. It makes messaging with my heart a bit faster, more economical (ang buhay ay economics FTW heheh) and, er, let's say better, sweeter, and, um, hotter? Hahaha figure that one out! :P

Wala, ako na inlab haha.

Even in hibernation from the world, the BB was able to connect me to my world, 

and my world to me. Especially to my heart. :) (April 2012 in Puerto Galera)

Yeah, it's not such an awful waste of space after all, Carl Sagan. Even with miles between us and oceans keeping us apart, invisible particles honed in pretty gadgets make long distance relationships easier to manage, and bridge.  Yeah, we're not complaining. If this is as good as it gets for now, then we'll grab it and cherish it. Anything to preserve the love. ;)

Ako na talaga inlab hahaha! Chos.

P.S. Miss you. :)




[All images processed through Instagram]

flight of the clip-winged

I opened my blog to initially set up a post about my recent feverish thoughts and a recent conversation with my mom when I got diverted into eating brunch in front of the TV again (as always). And since the only good thing on free TV this early is that newly revamped news and public affairs CNN-like free channel GMA7 did with their old QTV11, I just tuned in to see the tail of some news show and the beginning of a documentary show.

I would have stayed and watched the docu show had it not begin with such an utterly wrong premise about why people -- Filipinos -- are leaving the country in droves.

See, the show was about how they set out to find the seven paradise spots in the Philippines and the executive producer's aim of doing this was -- get this -- to show her fellow Filipinos daw that there are still so many good and beautiful things in the country, things that could make people stay here and not leave. And then they proceeded to show the seven so-called spots which are basically tourism-luring spots where the sun-sand-sea-greens intersect 24/7 in pristine no wifi-zone areas of the country like that Mt. Apo marine sanctuary just off of Dumaguete and another one like that in Cagayan de Oro and well, you get the picture. Picture-perfect Philippines. That's their idea of paradise here.

Um, news flash. If you were a foreigner and maybe you have dollars to spare here, then yes, by all means, stay in this country and go visit all those seven paradise spots like now na! What about her fellow Filipinos kaya who can't even afford to travel out of their own towns because they can't afford it, and hence they are stuck in their own places unless they aim higher and take their chances working abroad?

If I wasn't directing for TV back in 2006--
where we had to go to Mt. Apo to shoot
a diving sequence--I wouldn't have been
able to visit this beautiful marine sanctuary.
That's our cameraman trying to walk on water
while we wait for the underwater crew to finish their shoot.

Or worse, what about some of those "locals" or the townsfolk who actually live in those seven paradise spots but who are there not because they love the place but they simply are stuck there, because they don't have the means to find better livelihood someplace else?

With this, I remember the sob stories the vendors at White Beach in Puerto Galera used on me and my friends when we were last there, urging us to buy their wares because they have to pay their rent or they have to get their rheumatism treated or they need to buy rice for that week or ___ (just insert your own sob story here). My heart really bleeds for these people but I also want to tell them that we are not that well-off to just buy stuff every day, and even that vacation of ours in their island was also carefully planned around financial constraints and limitations. And I'm sure, even some of these vendors share the same sentiment I have: I need to get out of here. And by here, we mean the Philippines, not just that specific paradise spot we were both in.

One of the White Beach vendors. While I admire
their persistence, sometimes I don't appreciate
their emotional tactics. But of course, you can't
dismiss them rudely since they're just
trying to earn a decent and honest living,
something our politicians ought to do. (Feb2011)

How about that? Did the docu show producers even think of that angle for their story? Strange. Sorry to be bitter but it just irritates me when shows like that start off on wrong premises that undermine their viewers. While watching, I wanted to shout "Dude, even I haven't been to Boracay because I have to save for it to go there; what about your ordinary people on the streets who aren't as privileged as I am???" But since I just recovered from sinusitis and fever, I don't think shouting like that would help me in any way. So the next best thing is to turn off the TV.

And here we are.

Coincidentally, that was what I was really going to blog about originally. I was under the weather the whole weekend that passed well up to Monday, so my mom visited me yesterday to check up on me and to bring food or as my college buddies have termed it years ago, "relief goods" hehe. Yes, even when I began living on my own in a rented apartment shared with college buddies, my mom still came over and brought food and stuff for me, which I shared with them of course hehe. That was when they called it relief goods hehe. Ah, those were the days...

While I was talking to my mom, my sister in California texted us both to say that her new training thing just concluded and she was currently inside a Jollibee store somewhere there, enjoying food she misses. And somehow, as I was ranting to my mom about my usual work-related rants, I ended up telling her about one of my college buddies who just recently landed in Ontario with her family, and how she's starting over there with new experiences. We've been messaging each other ever since, as she was also giving me tips and encouraging me to just do what my relatives in that province have been asking me to do for decades now -- to move there.

And it was then than I just told my mom what I told my friend: "Maybe I'm too old to migrate..."

And, as always, whenever I make stupid remarks like that, my mom just laughed at me and said "How old do you think your Tita was when she decided to move there and bring her family and your grandparents?"

Hm, good retort. And that is why she is my mom, the mom. Bow.

Look at me. A good couple of years or so more before I hit the big 4-0 and I am thinking of feeling old for something. I don't know where that came from, as I never really thought much about age and all in my life. Until I began teaching, that is. And that was when I noticed age gaps and all. Heck, even in falling in love, age is not an issue with me (as long as I'm not going to date anyone below 18 of course, I draw the line there) so again, why the preoccupation with age?

I guess it has something to do -- again -- with yanking myself out of a comfort zone which hasn't been so comforting to me lately. Let's just say that lately covers like five years. A long time to be uncomfortable, don't you think? I suppose so.

Now is the winter of our discontent,
made glorious summer (or before spring)
by this son (slash-daughter, to be genderqueer-ish)
of (New?) York (or U?). Sorry Shakespeare,
there's a glitch in our system.
(foot in Central Park, New York/March 2010)

Stuck in a lot of things, not just money. Maybe that is also part of it, yes, but unlike others before me, I never really want to uproot for money. What I'm after, as always, and as seen in my myriad of work experiences I've tried, is new knowledge and soul satisfaction. If money comes with that package, then great! If not, then I am willing to adjust, as I have done so before, many times already.

My friend in Ontario was warning me about this, that you have to start at the entry level there, no matter how far you (or we, since she used to be a TV news executive here) have gone with your career here. And I told her that that's not what I am really after if I leave here. I just want to settle in a place with far better systems (at least some systems; can't win 'em all) where I could earn a decent living, enough to pay the bills, and where I could have some time to just sit down and write. That's the simplest game plan.

I don't know. I've been feeling lately that I've done my time here in Manila and I've already done all that I could, to the best of my abilities, whatever it is that needs to be done in terms of forwarding the causes I support or improving the industries I have immersed myself in. And of course, being a non-oligarch and being an ordinary middle class citizen, I could only do so much without the financial back-up.

Even the noblest of professions is slowly losing its luster for me, not because of the brilliant minds I am having a high in guiding, but because of the old farts rotting around me there that refuse to change with the times or refuse to relinquish the evil that embraced them. It's funny, but it even came to a point when one of those brilliant minds threatened to blackmail me if I left teaching, since he said that is where our battleground is. By our, he means people like us -- queer people who still have to educate the world about how beautiful being queer is. Or something like that. Yes, I love my kids. But I also love myself. How's that for a dilemma? Or maybe it's not really a dilemma. Maybe I'm just being a drama queen. Or maybe this is just the fever talking again. I don't know.

Well, maybe it's time to think of myself, for a change, see how these clipped wings could still be mended to fly anew. I miss my old self when I just flew whenever something better comes along or when something amiss is already there and I jump before it gobbles me up into its system. Where did that old bayli go? Hm.

Autumn beckons. (central California/March 2010)

Maybe, like Elvis, she has left the building. And so, shall I follow?

Let's see.

of honesty and the right thing to do

I nearly became 30,000 pesos richer today had I not been honest with the bank teller. She could have been on her way to not having three months' worth of salaries because of the simple error she made earlier. I deposited 11 thousand in my bank account and I don't know why she saw it as 30,000 or something. I double-checked my receipt and was amazed at the extra amount, so I checked my ATM outside to double-check again. Then I went in and called her on her mistake, which she was ever so grateful for my pointing it out.

Well, had I been a cheat, I would have walked away with that cash without batting an eyelash. But I guess I have a bigger conscience than what I expected. But I did that not to point out her error but it was the right thing to do. We should always go by what the right thing to do is, right?

Oh, I forgot, I'm in the Philippines. That doesn't happen everyday here. Look at the government.

I was just reading the news earlier about the proclaimed partylist winners, and one of them made Mikey Arroyo a congressman again. That really sucks. The rest of the winners will be proclaimed soon, and I wonder how many cheats got away with supposedly representing a marginalized sector of society in order to get a government seat in congress. Now that really sucks.

Hay, what's new, Philippines? Where do we go from here, pray tell? When our so-called "president-apparent" calls on showbiz host Boy Abunda to serve as his Secretary for the Department of Tourism... ay, mygash, methinks it's time to tour the world... or migrate.

We've been forgetting that most of them out there voted for a descendant of a rich oligarch. How will he fight for us? Nakup, Orapronobis, isdatchu? Sure, I love his mommy and I admire his daddy but I don't admire or love him. Sorry. Hay... let's see na lang nga. Bahala na bukas.

***

I am a bit sad about something today but I can't reveal what it is. But I can tell you that it still touches upon things we thought we are already handling well in certain sectors of society, things like gender discrimination and anti-gay sentiments. Hay, we really have a long way to go, baby.

On the other hand, I am happy about a new engagement that directly deals with countering this thing that saddened me. It's a small effort, I know, but every effort counts. Sabi nga nila, isang patak ng tubig, kapag marami, nagiging isang makamandag na buhos. Sige, abangan natin iyan.

For now, magpalamig na lang muna tayo sa ibang larangan.

***

I decided to reorient one of my earlier experiments with wordpress. I actually have four horcruxes there, mga leaflens offshoots. The one that's not going to be tinkered with is Takilya ni Leaflens, my film review blog and Karinderya ni Leaflens, my attempt at a food blog. I decided to collapse the other two, the literary blog and the media-oriented blog. I renamed it Culture Popper Leaflens for reasons you will see when you visit the site. Aside from film and food, I will be dumping there my thoughts on media and pop culture. I'm trying to segregate my writings so that they'll be easier to track, follow and gather. So there.

I'm actually psyched about the Culture Popper site, for some strange reason. Check it out. I also post pictures there, and you're welcome to comment as always.

Well, I'll try to turn in early tonight. Tomorrow's a big day -- the opening of the French Film Festival. They have an early brunch thing with press people, and I was invited. Kewl. Para maiba naman. Puro Instituto Cervantes invite gigs kasi ang napupuntahan ko lately e hehe. So ayun.

Sige, stay honest, folks. Don't be cheats.

we know that they won't win...

title is from a line of the song "don't dream it's over" which is my fourth favorite song of all time. can you guess the first three? but that's another blog entry...

*

i have a zillion things to say about that cebu rectal surgery fiasco shebang. but i won't muna. mahirap magsulat if you're still infuriated. nawawala ang focus at objectivity. every other line na masusulat ko e mura, if ever. not good. hay.

good thing our peeps at LAGABLAB and ANGLADLAD have been prominent in the media with these issues. go mga kafatid!

at dahil hindi kasi tayo makakasabak ng pare-parehas, minsan sa ibang paraan na lang muna sumusubok tumulong ang ibang tao.

when i got home last april24, i was able to catch the early primetime news telecast ng 24ORAS sa GMA-7. natuwa ako at nakita ko ang coverage nila sa presscon where lagablab and angladlad were speaking about this issue. but i was super-bothered, yet again, when the news reporter called homosexuals as "THIRD SEX." i thought, oh no, here we go again.

since i became a journalist in 2000, talagang natauhan ako how words could have grave implications when broadcast over media talaga. kaya part of my advocacy back then, and even up to now, is to have media correct their own presentation of us. hirap kasi minsan to police the police, y'know what i mean, especially if you find yourself in a sexist and homophobic newsroom or media work environment, which i have found myself in several times already. nakakapagod minsan pero dahil kelangang gawin, kelangang kumilos. kadalasan naman, karamihan sa kanila e bukas pa ring makinig.

bakit mali ang THIRD SEX? usaping biology at sociology ito.

homophobic siya, for one. nilalagay ang mga LGBTs sa ikatlong sex category na hindi naman nag-e-exist. ang lesbiyana ay may puki pa rin tulad ng ibang babae riyan, at ang bakla ay may titi pa rin tulad ng ibang lalaki riyan. so nasaan ang third sex na sinasabi? wala sa biology ito. hindi pa tayo nag-e-evolve muli bilang species.

second, mali dahil sexist siya. sa social construct na ang males ay man at females ay women, napagtuunan ng isang patriarchal society na ang man ang FIRST SEX dahil sila daw ang mas chever sa earth, samantalang ang women ang SECOND SEX lamang dahil sa maraming reasons na mali mula sa patriarchal and sexist society. to relegate lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgenders sa THIRD SEX label only denotes that we are far below this patriarchally sexist hierarchy of specimens. hindi dapat pumayag ang kababaihan dito at lalong di papayag ang LGBT people.

when i told my friends sa abscbn news dati about this prevalent usage of the term "third sex" sa tv patrol, they all said it was hopeless to correct. why? kahit daw kasi politically correct ang pagsusulat nila, nababago sa delivery, especially noong time na si noli pa ang anchor. sabi nila, talagang everything you learn about good journalism is thrown out the window. nalungkot ako sa mga friends ko dito when i heard that -- at binuyo kong lumipat na sila ng programa hahaha! cheka!

pero 2008 na. wala naman akong prublema sa kapuso dahil di ko naririnig ang term na ito (o dahil bihira ako manood ng tv?) pero nang mataunan ko nga itong report last week, siyempre i had to do something dahil nanggagalaiti talaga ako sa term na yan.

i texted the director of 24oras because he's my colleague. sinabi ko lang na sana maabisuhan ang news writers nila sa tamang usage ng terms. nag-text back naman ang kuya at makakarating daw. after the show, hala, nakarating nga, dahil nagtanong agad siya kung ano daw ang correct terms to use, sabi ng news writers nila. so sinabi ko, okay naman ang "homosexuals" para mas inclusive, o kaya "gays and lesbians" kung talagang kelangang i-spell out. i also told him the LGBT acronym pero nahahabaan ata sila. pati sa tagalog, ano daw ba ang tama. apparently, problemado pala sila sa bading, bakla, tomboy daw ba? sabi ko, bading and bakla okay na, pero sana lesbiyana na lang pag babae kasi sabi ko marami na ring negative baggage sa society natin ang terminong tomboy. okay naman daw. so ayun, solved na sila. at solved na rin ako.

masaya naman dahil sa maliit na mga patumpik-tumpik na chever na ito, kahit papaano ay nakakatulong na rin ako sa lgbt community kahit hindi ako maka-fulltime sa advocacy work with them sometimes. like nung angladlad event na tinext ni danton sa akin last week, padala daw coverage. ayun, tinext brigade ko ulit mga friendships sa abscbn, na tunawag pa dahil they want to be correct in their description daw of angladlad. tama naman ang description, so go na sila sa report hehe.

it pays to have a lot of friends, colleagues and acquaintances in the media kasi. kaya nga over the years, happy ako na solid pa rin ang networks ko sa mga taong ito, and vice versa din naman pala ang turing nila sa akin. nakakataba ng heart itey, sa totoo lang.

so happy ang life.

*

pero sa hindi nga happy, eto yun:

mula sa angladlad egroup ang info na ito. walang mawawala sa inyo kung tutulong kayo. this was also part of my job before in an NGO as campaigns associate, so i'm also doing this here now.

send letters of protest, request and thanks for lgbt support sa mga cast of characters na ito. regarding the cebu scandal pa rin. if you don't think letter-writing works, believe me, IT DOES. nara-rattle sila sa mga nagpapadala. such was the experience we had at isis when we decided to create a letter-writing campaign against destileria limtuaco's infamous kinse anyos ad before. yes, ang inyong lingkod po ang nag-draft ng letter na kina-cut and paste ng mga tao para ipadala sa mga destileria peeps. ako rin ang nag-investigative chever dati to get the contact details of the destileria peeps na pinapadalhan ng letters. nakakatawa nga lang dahil yung initial and original effort namin sa isis nito e ni-lift na lang verbatim ng isang mas kilalang women's org... and passed it on as their campaign. yung sinulat ko ha! nakakatawa talaga minsan ang adbokasya work... oh well...

teka na-segue pa tuloy ako. here are the details. send them letters!


tell this dude that pocha, they need to revamp!

Dr. Gerardo Aquino
Hospital Chief
Vicente Sotto Memorial Medical Center
B. Rodrigues Street, Sambag I, Cebu City, Philippines 6000
vsmmc@cvis.net.ph
www.cvis.net.ph/vsmmc/

tell this dude that pocha, they need to revamp that hospital!

Sec. Francisco Duque III
Department of Health
San Lazaro Compound, Sta. Cruz, Manila
Email: ftduque@co.doh.gov.ph
F: 7431829
M: TEXT DOH: Type doh or dohsec [space] [message] & send to 2960 for
all line
www.doh.gov.ph

tell this dude that pocha, they need to revamp [revoke the licence!] their members na nasa ospital na yun!

Dr. Jose Asa Sabili (outgoing)/Dr. Rey Santos (incoming)
President
Philippine Medical Association
PMA Building, North Avenue, Quezon City
1100
T: (from E Yellow Pages) 928-2132; 929-49-47; (from PMA website) 929-
6366
M: 0917-828-2468
Email: philmedas@yahoo.com
www.pma.com.ph

Philippine Nurses¢ Association
1663 F. T. Benitez Street
Malate, Manila 1004
T: 521-0937; 400-4430
Telefax: 525-1596
Email: philippinenursesassociation@yahoo.com.ph
www.pna-ph.org

Dr. Teresita I. Barcelo
Governor, NCR Zone 1
Philippine Nurses Association
T: 523-1494
Email: tbarcelo2003@yahoo.com

Mr. Roland Fermo
Governor, Region VII
Philippine Nurses Association
Asian College of Technology
Cor. P. Del Rosario & Leon Kilat St., Cebu City 6000
T: (032) 238-230
Email: rl_fermo@yahoo.com

Hon. Cesar D. Buenaflor
Acting Chairperson
Civil Service Commission of Philippines
T: 931-7996
Fax: 931-4145
Email: cdb@csc.gov.ph
www.csc.gov.ph

Director IV Judith D. Chicano
Director III Editha D. Luzano
Civil Service Regional Office 7
Sudlon, Lahug, Cebu City 6000
T: (032) 414-7676; (032) 414-7488
Telefax: (032) 253-9050

Professional Regulatory Commission
T: 741-6061; 735-1535
www.prc.gov.ph

tell this ale that pocha, they need to look at this issue closely as a gross gross gross violation of human rights ng isang tao!

Hon. Purificacion C. Valera Quisumbing
Commission on Human Rights Philippines (CHRP)
T/F: 928-5655;
T: 926-6188; 929-0102
Email: drpvq@yahoo.com
www.chr.gov.ph

Atty. Gilbert Boiser
Comission on Human Rights Philippines (CHRP), NCR
SAAC Building
Commonwealth Avenue
UP Complex, Diliman, Quezon City
T: 928-7098; 925-3881; 928-7099

Atty. Alejandro P. Alonzo
Commission on Human Rights Philippines (CHRP), Region VII
Rosal Apartment, Llorente & Rosal Sts.
Capitol Site 6000
Cebu City
T: (032) 253-5403; (032) 254-6921

Feliciano M. Bautista
Chairperson
Integrated Bar of the Philippines
IBP Building, No. 15 Julia Vargas Avenue
Ortigas Center, Pasig City
T: 631-3018; 631-3014; 634-4697
Fax: 631-3014; 634-4697
Email: sec@ibp.org.ph
www.ibp.org.ph

email would do, guys. go!

well, look who's back...on TV

that would be me. doing this. again.




parang summer job ko na lagi ang magdirek ng show na ito a. hm...

here's the official PR i lifted from the show's site.

"LDFG versus Takaw Mamaw"

Airing on April 19, 2008
Saturday, 10 a.m.

Kiddie Kitchen Camp

Do you want a summer activity that’s not just interesting but can also ease your hunger?

Love, Bea and Gabby joins the Kiddie Kitchen Camp, a summer workshop that teaches kids how to cook and bake! Here, Bea and Gabby, together with Ate Love will try their hand at cooking and learn how to make Nuggets & Cheese Fondue, Ham & Cheese Quesadillas and Toasty Apple Pie. Your appetite will surely be awakened by the tasty treats our little chefs will prepare!

Il Pirata

Pirates don’t only exist in storybooks and movies, they can also be seen in… restaurants?

Il Pirata Restaurant is a pirate themed restaurant with seafood specialties and waiters dressed as pirates. Gabby will try their Pizza Serena, a gigantic pizza that’s a half-meter wide! He will also taste the Black Nero Pasta, with a sauce that is made out of squid ink! Gabby also learns the history of piracy as he fills his tummy with this mouth-watering food trip.

LDFG vs. Takaw Mamaw

Raijin has fallen into the Pit of No Return, but the LD Force’s fight against evil is not yet over.

The LD Force meets Maui, a good-hearted chef whose only goal is to cook healthy and sumptuous meals. But an evil spirit possesses Maui and turns her into Takaw Mamaw, a monster who uses her delicious yet poisonous bread to make people’s tummies hurt!

Will Takaw Mamaw succeed in tempting the LD Force to eat her dangerous bread? Watch out as the team fights this bloated monster in Lovely Day Force of the Guardians this Saturday.

-----------------------------------------


since it's a news and public affairs show, may segments na informative chever. pero ang tahi pa rin nun ay yung narrative portion na 2/3 ng show nakikita. yung narrative ang dinidirek ko. they used to call it spiels pero it's more than that na nga since naging narrative na may fictional kuwento ang approach. ikalawang bihis na ito ng fictional focus. may costume costume pa rin pero iba na ang quality ng powers at may main villain na silang kaharap chever.

it's like directing a short film every week. literally. hay. pero masaya naman kapag masaya ang cast and crew. this time around, masaya na lahat. wala nang negativity center kasi, nasipa na. kaya nga i'm back e. the world is at peace.

which goes to show na talagang ang pagpapatakbo ng isang bagay ay nakasalalay sa harmonious co-existence ng good leadership and amiable constituents. achieve na ito this time around. happy for them.

wala akong behind the scenes photos because i didn't bring my cam this time. i was imagining a whole day affair of feeling the vibe there again after some time, kaya i needed to focus on that lang. at saka haggard ang summer sun kaya walang extra energy to be super happy for pitiks.

pero happy naman ito. goal pa rin is to shoot for a day. hiraf. extra hiraf pag medyo hindi happy ang ibang talents. hay... pero kekerihin na yan ng special fx.

PLEASE WATCH THE SHOW THIS SATURDAY MORNING, 10am! gma7.

help with our ratings. just turn on your tv at this time and tune in sa kapuso network. tapos tulugan niyo na hehe. okay lang, basta mag-rate.

feedback always welcome. kahit nega. go!

again, i can't sleep, but it's not what you think...

just today (or yesterday, kasi umaga na pala), got this link from several sources. handame lang ha, mga chismosa kayo! hehehe. and curiosity got in the way of sleep. and here we are.

yes, i checked it out. it's a blog of an australian gay guy who got gypped of 70k dollars by an alleged social climber guy na ex niya na pinoy. until he gets his money back, he dishes the dirt on famous socialites of today blah.

well, let me just say, it's like kitty go all over again. but with real vendetta. she was just catty and bitchy (and distanced). this brian guy is, wow...scorned, man. grabeh.

and i understand why.

kawawa.

*

i've been meaning to buy kitty's book since i heard of it sometime in the early 2000s. at that time kasi, i was also outlining a book similar in project.

okay, back story. that link above is about the chi chi high society pasosyal group of today with noted people like celine lopez and tim yap. the rest, read na lang yourself. basta something about this group that baptized itself as the "gucci gang" daw. whatever.

anyway, kitty go was the former publisher sa summitmedia, ng Yes at Preview. but she came out with a book fictionalizing the local tinseltown happenings. in short, yung sinasabi ng writer ko dati sa dyaryo na "showbiz ka-cheap-an." her book was entitled WHEN CHIC HITS THE FAN. she came out with a sequel CHIC HAPPENS. pero by then, wala na talaga siya sa showbiz world.

when i read her own account sa inquirer before, when the first book was launched, natawa ako sa ibang kuwento niya. this multiplier reposted that. natawa ako. sobra. sobrang-sobra. kasi naka-relate ako. sobra.

*

before chic, i also wanted to do a fictionalized tell-all of local showbiz, its kababawans, the funny tales, artista stuff, behind the scenes, whatever i was able to experience in my early stint there. my inspiration was this book entitled YOU'LL NEVER HAVE LUNCH IN THIS TOWN AGAIN by an ex-woman producer in hollywood who got fed up by the hollywoodness of the industry, especially the machismo. needless to say, pareho sila ng naging fate ni kitty--showbiz outcast. but both of them were not apologetic nor sorry they wrote it. kasi totoo siya.

since i wasn't able to get a copy of that book, i thought of refashioning my own book sana after the original SEX AND THE CITY novel, na sketch-style pero wala lang ding names. anyway, short of saying i haven't finished this project yet because it kept on evolving.

but only for this kitty go's excerpt sa inquirer article na yun, talagang na-inspire ako noon to do my version:

excerpt:
When chic hits the fan
Posted: 9:20 PM (Manila Time) | Feb. 16, 2002
By Kitty Go
Inquirer News Service

Foot in mouth disease

If there was anyone born with this disease, it had to be me. Of course, this disease doesn't cover quotable lines such as one from Giselle Tongi who told one of my former editors that she liked the "animosity" of not being recognized whenever she visited the United States. Or Troy Montero's answer of "Boracay" to the question of what his favorite city in the world was. Or Diether Ocampo's explanation of his love of New York for its "monumental landmarks."


ay nako 'te, i still have the cassette tapes and the micro cassette tapes of interviews of things like this that can be used as material for such...such...works of art. hahaha!

taena when i read this years ago, tumambling ako sa kakatawa. at gusto ko siyang dagdagan.

di ba HARMESH? hahahahaha! yes, hilig ko ay pink. waaaaaaah. poooootah...gusto ko maglaslasssss...

*

pero saka na yun. i still have this project at the back burner, waiting for new inspiration. and believe me, i am getting it! almost daily now! hahaha. chos.

abangan.

for now, makiki-chismis muna rin ako dun sa kabila hihihi :P

kalurkey.

isa munang patalastas

mga kafatid, watch kayo ng Kapuso Mo Jessica Soho this saturday 8.30pm sa GMA-7.

they did a segment on "pink films." ininterbyu nila ang ilang pink film directors like cris pablo and the one who did "ang lihim ni antonio." saka yung mtrcb chair. saka di ko na alam sino pa. at saka ako pala hehe.

isa sa mga tanong nila doon ay "ready na ba ang filipino audience manood ng pink films?"

buksan natin mga tv at ilagay sa kapuso para makita nila kung gaano karami tayo at gaano tayo ka-ready since last century pa. sipain pataas ang ratings to show we are here, agb-nielsen aside hehe.

go. :)

congressional chever

it's past ten pm in the metro as i type this, and by now, i'm sure you've heard of the latest news that literally rocked part of the city.

an explosion at the congress just happened, around 8pm or so. yes, the house of representatives kung saan dapat represented ang sangka-lgbt-han kung officially recognized ang ANGLADLAD as a political party, with gays and lesbians representing us in congress sana...still a pipe dream...

kaya pala ang lakas ng naririnig kong sirens blaring along commonwealth when i stepped out of the office at peyups around 830ish. grabe. i just hope nobody i know was injured in any way...

*

flashback:

nakapasok ka na ba sa kongreso? ito yung sa batasan area, diyan sa may commonwealth ave, pero off commonwealth kasi the gate is somewhere in a street adjacent to the highway e. strict nga sila diyan, lalo na sa cars, even way back in the mid-90s. noon ako nakapasok diyan, pero hindi pa praning ang earth ng mga panahong iyon kasi, kaya walang masyadong hassle na naipasok ko yung kotse ko noon diyan.

may interbyu kami sa isang congresswoman dahil gumagawa kami ng isang docu-tv special dati. wala pa yatang isang taon mula nang gumradweyt ako noon sa film nang napasama ako sa staff ng docu na ito. ENG ang trabaho ko as usual, dahil ako nga si miss cinematography/miss camerawoman-human tripod noon sa iskul. kung di ako nagkakamali, ang title ng docu na iyon ay "the role of the filipina in national development" at isa siyang kawomanan docu na nai-ere ng prodyuser naming opus dei sa channel4. ewan ko bakit doon na-ere gayung di naman pro-gov't yung docu, pero di rin naman anti. whatever.

pinayagan kaming mag-shoot sa loob lang ng opis ng congresswoman na di ko na maalala kung sino (meaning she didn't make an impression on moi, therefore). so habang naghihintay, umupo kami doon sa may audience seats na parang balcony/loge area kung saan kita mo ang buong floor and all that, kung saan sila nagse-session. wala yatang session noon pero may mga tao-taong nagdadaan and whatnot sa floor.

bilang active participant ng 1986 people power revolt ang aming prodyuser (nag-publish pa nga siya ng book about it), siyempre biglang kumulo ang dugo niya sa every artery, clavicle and vein nang magdaan sa may harapan namin (sa floor, sa baba namin technically, since nasa taas nga ang loge/balcony) bigla ang isang kinamumuhian niyang pigura -- si imelda marcos, na surprisingly hindi naka-butterfly dress noon. congresswoman siya noon, newly elected yata, at puta gusto kong magtago sa ilalim ng silya nang bigla na lang nag-rant yung prodyuser naming malaking bulas na babae na opus dei na fil-canadian ng "what nerve! she should be hanged! what's she doing here! i can't believe this country, voting for criminals for politicans" blah blah blah. noong mga panahong iyon, kakaunti pa lang ng pilipinas ang nasisilayan ko so pinagdasal kong sana makalabas kami ng buhay na walang sniper na susunod sa amin sa kongreso dahil sa rant niya para naman makita ko pa ang cebu, bacolod, dumaguete, davao, vigan...at bangkok.

grabe yun. may point ang lola, oo, pero naman! gawin ba naman sa home turf ng kalaban! sus. obviously hindi niya binasa ang kasalukuyan naming bibliya ng mga panahong iyon ng aking co-film batchmates, ang ART OF WAR ni sun tzu. of course one rule is terrain ng kalaban e wag kang papalag. dapat lure them in neutral ground or trick them into going into your terrain. e ang lola mo nga, ewan ko kung ano ang binabasa noon at wala lang, nagbabablahblah lang siya diretso, within earshot of imelda! pero mukhang bingi yata ang imeldific at di siya/kami narinig... baka may naiwang takong ng shoes sa tenga? o nasobrahan ng spraynet ang hair at affected ang hearing? ewan. oh well...

lesson learned: huwag makipagtrabaho sa opus dei. char! chika lang.

um, choose your battlefields? parang love, love is a battlefield. char! joke.

ewan ko. i guess the lesson here is...hay, vote wisely pa rin, i guess... la lang.

*

natatangahan lang ako kay tenga. sabi ba naman niya sa anc "i thank madame president for sending immediately the pnp chief (or something big like that) ___ (something something) to help with the situation." e gago ba siya, siyempre trabaho ng pnp chief, heneral at ninumang mataas na opisyal militar na pumunta doon sa mga crisis spots asap! hindi na kelangan ng presidente na UTUSAN SILA! punyetang ngekngok quote yun o! talagang sipseeeeeeeeeep...

hay...

in fairness, masarap ang lechon na regalo nila ni madam gina tuwing pasko sa press... (natikman ko noon when ms chit of journ dept and i worked sa pinoy times dati, columnist namin si manay kasi). other than that, we still think he's a putz. a major one.

hay. now you see why i don't like this government?

ewan.

*

man, if congress can't protect themselves...

my poor country. :(

*

EDIT: aaaah, depressing! turns out that i do indeed know a casualty. yung driver ng gabriela rep na namatay...is the husband of my former dear workmate sa women's ngo... hay...

his name was marcial taldo. husband of mayang.

former isis peeps, send your love to ate mayang. she so badly needs it. not after her son died two years ago, too, and in a violent way, too, at that...

hay putangina. bakit mga di dapat namamatay ang namamatay? samantalang araw-araw na ginawa ng puntanginang gumawa ng araw e naglalakad sa harap ko ang mga sana mamatay nang nilalang sa lupa...

tangina. il n'est pas juste.

kill me now + electric jeep + prick flick + losing isaiah

just a little before i turn in.

still reeling from the effect of hyper-hyperacidity that attacked this stomach of mine last thursday. bad trip!!!!!! now i belong to the hyperacidity anonymous club. kainis. which means no more of my usual cravings of coffee, tea or alcohol. add to that the banning of yosi pa. kababalik ko nga lang eh, aalis na agad! wah! wala nang natira! sabi ng friend ko, bawal na din ang tomato-based stuff. anubayaaaaan. basta anything acidic daw. e ako pa naman si citrus freak ever, asim lover super, basta sour is the new sweet for me. grrrrr. like, i always have orange juice whenever i remember to have breakfast, suka as sawsawan, manggang hilaw (bagoong rocks!), my love affair with kamatis (salsa rules!). bawasan din daw ang dairy products, esp cheese (au revoir camembert et brie) and ice cream! puta naman o. kill me now. wala nang natira. tangina skyflakes at tubig forever ba drama nito!!! wah i protest!

mahilig pa naman akong kumain at magsampol ng world cuisines. kainiz. hirap ng ganitong limitasyon ah... bad treef.

*

anyway, speaking of trip, i want one of these for christmas:













cute yung pink! puwede pang-pride march hehe. more at marninay's multiply.

*

and this is why we heart gloria steinem:

I propose, as the opposite of "chick flick" and an adjective of your very own, "prick flick." Not only will it serve film critics well, but its variants will add to the literary lexicon. For example, "prick lit" could characterize a lot of fiction, from Philip Roth to Bret Easton Ellis and beyond. "True prick" could guide readers to their preferred non-fiction, from the classics of Freud to the populist works of socio-biologists and even Rush Limbaugh.

Most of all, the simple label "prick flick" could lead you easily and quickly through the thicket of televised, downloaded and theatrical releases to such attractions as:

All the movies that glorify World War II. ...All the movies that glorify Vietnam, bloody regional wars, and the war on terrorism. ...All the movies that portray violence against women, preferably beautiful, sexy, half-naked women. ... All the movies that insist female human beings are the only animals on earth that seek out and even enjoy their own pain. ...

award ang lola! read her full article on alternet.

nga naman. kung may chick lit, dapat may prick lit. it rhymes!

*

while resting from sickness, i caught LARRY KING LIVE on cnn and it had isaiah washington there. tama ba name, yung guy na na-fire sa GREY'S ANATOMY (sorry i don't watch the show) kasi he used the word "faggot" sa set. this caused a great furor dahil yung isang co-star niya ay napa-out bigla, si TR Knight (tama ba sp?) and i caught his interview sa ELLEN after this incident naman. tapos nag-deny si isaiah pero inulit niya sa GOLDEN GLOBES. grabe. ibang klase.

pero in fairness to him, he made a public service tvc under glaad.org and he underwent counseling daw. sige whatever.

man, nakakatawa yung mga arguments niya. he contradicts himself every after commercial gap, i swear. sasabihin niya apologetic siya dahil sa hindi daw niya alam ang gravity ng words, tapos after a gap sasabihin niya he believes words have power, tapos after another gap sasabihin niya we have to be careful of the words we use, tapos another gap (ang daming gaps ng cnn potah) sasabihin niya nag-iiba ang context ng words depende sa gumamit etc... i lost count na sa incredulousness ng kanyang statements.

e hindi na ko magugulat na ganito siya, medyo he fits the profile pala of your typical garden-variety american homophobe -- grew up in a so-called redneck state (texas, where their idiot president is from), had military training (don't ask, don't tell?) and is a family man chenes. larry king slightly wanted to refer if there were traces of racism naman sa firing niya. hindi masagot ng diretso ng lolo. he's african american kasi. pero malabo na ito this day and age sa showbiz, not with people like oprah and the hiphop moguls ruling the airwaves. ano sila hilo?

pero homophobia, oo. ito ang hindi pa nawawala sa society at large. theirs, and even ours. the whole world's, even. ganda lang ng CSI NY yesterday when this bigot who killed a tranny said "what i see, i done the world a big favor by killing him." sabi ni detective "and i'm doing it an even bigger favor" then locked him up. kabog ka.

wala e. kahit mag-atone siya sa sins niya, nabahiran na siya nun at hindi na iyon mawawala pa sa balat niya. mahirap talaga kapag nababahiran ka ng ganito. dapat matuto na talaga ang mga tao. hay... kairita panoorin pero i just had to, just to see how he will weasel his way out of it. to no avail. kahit si larry king napapa-ismid. luz.

reminded me of that great scene sa PHILADELPHIA where tom hanks the HIV-positive gay corporate lawyer shakes hands and meets for the first time denzel washington's lawyer for hire character. when tom said "i have AIDS" denzel slowly stops shaking hands, turns a bit, his back to tom, and slowly wipes his palm (yung pinang-handshake niya) sa pants niya. beautifully acted and directed scene. subtle yet strong ang impact. para kasing ganun yung fez ni isaiah most times, like denzel's face after that handshake. classic. bigotry at its finest.

to echo the slogans, HEY HEY! HO HO! HOMOPHOBIA'S GOT TO GO!

word.

*

okay gotta rest na. ciao.

update on carol + thoughts of the thinking

thanks to all those who responded to the emergency situation of our friend carol. we're happy to report that she is okay and safe now, away from the trouble spot. let's keep on praying for her protection. she appreciates it very much.

was with her brother earlier, my writer friend omeng, when he relayed the news. hay buti naman. i'm glad.

some thoughts produced during this whole scenario made me rethink of some life goals, views on art, the media, and human behavior in general.

you really learn something new everyday, and produce an original insight alongside of it.

yet again, ambivalent reactions on the media, and some old and lingering conclusions have been proven right time and time again.

same with elections in the philippines. sometimes i ask myself: why even bother? but i know deep down that i should bother. hence the ugly-blotched index finger nail.

i have been apathetic for the past 2 elections simply because i think the political system in the country is a running farce of epic proportions. i have been voting a long time but i dont know what happens to the people i vote for. at least i a glad that in marikina where i am registered, my vote counts for something, and the people i vote for actually do something for the city.

as for the national elections? blah. parang showbiz ang politics -- KA-CHEAP-AN. sa totoo lang.

the local scenario is what got carol into trouble. same material of fraud and other bad things by bad people, documented by good and caring citizens. have you seen the videos and photos being sent by people all over the country about a kind of election fraud or other. national ito ha. as in. creatively photoshopped fake comelec memos, disappearing indelible ink, vote buying, the works. creative ngayong year ang mga pinoy, in fairness.

syempre the red-baiting, red-tagging and all that are still on. my friend teta's name disappeared from the voter's list just because. hay naku. hay naku talaga.

dumating at natapos ang eleksyon, ang pinaghirapan kong pilahang voter's id last year ay ni di ko man lang nasilayan. nunca. ganda.

browsing through the ballot, sarap gumawa ng "asa ka pa" list of election hopefuls. para mag-vent lang ng asar ba. comme ca:

ASA KA PA..richard gomez! hindi showbiz career move ang politics. try ka pa sa MAD dati eh hello. mamamayan ayaw sa droga pala ha. baka mamamayan ayaw sa dumdum. bow. magbasa ka muna ng mga libro.

ASA KA PA...manny pacquiao! nagkakamal ka na ng medalya at pera sa boxing. ano ang alam mong gawin sa pulitika? sabagay jaworski...and...dami pa... laro na lang kayo. sparring. saya pa. may pustahan.

ASA KA PA...cesar montano! no matter how smart you present yourself in debates, the thing is, kung walang script, wala ka rin. gawa ka na lang pelikula. mas okay yun e. hollywood actor ka na di ba mwahahaha.

ASA KA PA...tessie aquino oreta! binoto siya ng nanay ko at sabi ko bahkettttt? sabi niya, kasi marami daw bills chuva na in-author/na-pass chuva siya para sa kababaihan. ang alam ko,wala siya sa anti-vawc. pero regardless, the dancing queen image sticks. like glue.

ASA KA PA...victor wood! ... (self-explanatory)

ASA KA PA...prospero pichay! kung sinuman ang gumawa ng media campaign mo, tsugiin mo na. the gulay angle doesn't work in any way, man. itanim si pichay sa senado. nubaaaaaaaaaaah! hindi siya witty! ever! kainis.

ano na nga ba yung sinabi ko about politics?

hay naku. why do we bother!

but this time nga, like i said before, my vote is the pink vote. and i wanted that to matter. hay... i hope it works.

wish us all luck. this country badly needs it.

tumatakas sa stress ng araw na ito

ito ang kinaka-stress naming lahat ngayon: balita tungkol sa kaibigan naming si carol.

Pinikpikan singer claims mayor threatened her

May 14, 2007
Frank Cimatu

BANGUED, Abra -- The lead vocalist of the band Pinikpikan accused the former mayor of Daguioman town of threatening her after she took video footage of alleged cheating.

Carol Bello, who is a poll watcher of Daguioman mayoral candidate Lyndon Basingan, claimed former mayor Manuel Co Kue, husband of incumbent Mayor Sally Co Kue, told her she would not be leave Daguioman alive after videotaping alleged ballot tampering.

"Ako raw ay di makakalabas sa Daguioman nang buhay dahil may photo at video ako ng kalokohan ng mayor and her family [I was told I would not be able to leave Daguioman alive because I have photographs and video footage of irregularities committed by the mayor and her family]," Bello told the Philippine Daily Inquirer, parent company of INQUIRER.net.

read the rest of frank cimatu's pdi report here.

eto pa ang detalye sa abs-cbn website. thanks melissa for acting on that so swiftly.

kanina pa nagte-text-an kaming magkakaibigan para matulungan siya. but what else can we do??? punyeta talaga.

kanina pa tumatawag si cynthia a. din sa akin, telling me this is like teta's all over again last year. i agreed. she's now in conspiracy with budeths, carol's co-pinikpikan bandmate, worried to death -- as we all are.

now, we're all stressed. as in.


*

tangina mukha akong gago. napa-blogthang tuloy ako. wala ko magawa tangina.

hirap ng ganito. hay naku...


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Your Seduction Style: Ideal Lover

You seduce people by tapping into their dreams and desires. And because of this sensitivity, you can be the ideal lover for anyone you seek. You are a shapeshifter - bringing romance, adventure, spirituality to relationships. It all depends on who your with, and what their vision of a perfect relationship is.

What Is Your Seduction Style?

Your Kissing Technique Is: Perfect

Your kissing technique is amazing - and you know it. You have the confidence to make the first move. And you always seem to know what kissing style is going to work best. Sometimes you're passionate, sometimes you're a tease. And you're always amazing!

Are You a Good Kisser?

You Are a Coy Flirt

You may not seem like you're flirting, but you know exactly what you're doing. You draw people in, very calculatingly, without them even knowing. Subtle and understated, you know how to best leverage your sex appeal. A sexy enigma, you easily become an object of obsession.

What Kind of Flirt Are You?

de-media-fied + henry miller mode

borrowing books for somebody at the library earlier, i realized something: i rarely read books anymore, as in, really reading, with digestion, not just chewing, as sir francis bacon once wrote. i haven't been digesting, yes.

and then more realizations started pouring in: i haven't been watching a lot of films lately, haven't been listening to music lately, haven't browsed comics or magazines lately, and haven't been going out to commercial events lately, hetero or exclusive. i've turned into a sort of introverted hermit hiding in the small route/routine of quotidien life. why is that?

i've been de-media-fied. imagine that. i work at the college of mass communication but i have been de-media-fied. and not by choice, mind you. not by choice. perhaps by intuition? hmmm.

i should borrow books for me from now on. and also turn the player on. and scan glossies and graphics once in a while. and go to the moviehouse more. why this introverted retreat? keeps me wondering.

it was not self-imposed.

*

at least something good comes out of it sometimes. been writing a lot lately, and writing in different forms. and the good thing is, i am enjoying writing again, as in truly, honestly enjoying it. the discipline is back, the bug is biting down hard, and the muses are guarding me like hawks. like crazy bitch hawks.

thank you.

*

pero bakit puro kalibugan yata ang inilalabas ng utak ko nitong mga nakaraang araw, lalo na sa anyo ng malikhaing pagsulat? dinidibdib ko na yatang muli ang challenge dati pa na magsulat ng erotica, as in tunay na erotica, sa literatura. hmm.

*

nabasa ko kamakailan lang sa blog ni ian na may nagtanong kung meron nga bang sex sa philippine literature. gusto kong isigaw ang sagot: oo, meron, marami, pero hindi nila hinahayaang i-publish. marami nang nagsusulat nang ganito, at hindi konserbatibo, homo at hetero, pero nabibigyan ba ng chance? hindi. hindi ko rin alam kung bakit kaya huwag niyo na lang itanong sa akin kung bakit.

challenge din sa akin iyon dati, kung ipapagpatuloy ko ba ang pagsulat ng erotika. sabi ko, oo. habang may tumutulong mga ganitong kuwento mula sa utak ko, sige lang, sulat lang ng sulat. natuwa naman siya. dapat daw kasi, huwag kong ihihinto sa *and they shared a kiss, and in that room, they became one* tapos kinabukasan na. ituloy ko naman daw. o sige, itinuloy na nga.

pero kakaiba kasi ako kapag tinuloy ko, lalo na't nasasapian ako ng mga ispiritu ng likor. o nasisipa ng kabayo. at extra joss (salamat sa recipe kate).

sige sampol. 'wag ma-shock ha hehe. sinapian ako ni henry miller nang ginagawa ko to habang balot sa ulap ng cloves.

di pa tapos...pero parang. di ko alam kung tula siya o kuwento, pero parang pareho...at wala pang titulo. pero pakiramdam ko'y pang performance poetry nga ito, spoken word baga, kesa sa binabasa. sige, subukan mong basahin ng malakas. iba ang epek. pramis.

puwedeng mag-komento.

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Minsan iniisip ko kung bakit kailangang isaksak ang titi sa puki gayong may iba namang mas maliit na bagay, katamtaman lamang, na puwedeng ipasok doon nang di nasasaktan ang isang babae. Tulad halimbawa ng dila, o dili kaya’y daliri. Hindi ba mas masarap iyon?

“Yeah, women don’t get aroused by penetration naman talaga e” sabi ng kaibigan kong het. O e ganun naman pala e, bakit niyo ginagawa? Gusto ko sanang itanong sa kanya pero hindi ko na lang ginawa. Paano, baka ibalik sa akin, e. “E ginagawa mo naman din dati, a. bakit ka nag-iba? Bakit ka nagbago?”

Iba kasi kapag titi ang hinahanap mo pero matrimonyo naman ang humaharap sa 'yo. Trapped kasi tayo dito e. ang tingin pa kasi ng gubyerno, simbahan at lipunan sa puki ay daanan lang ng bata. Oo, bata, batang magpapatuloy sa lahi ng nangungurakot, batang magpapatuloy sa paggigiyera sa mga lupaing mapayapa, batang magpapatuloy sa lahi ng mga manggagawa at rapist. Bata. Ganun lang. bakit kaya bahay bata ang tawag sa bahay bata? E di dapat ang babae ay di na nila tinawag na babae kundi pagawaan ng bata na lang. Naglalakad na bahay bata. Iyan ang babae.

Pero ayokong maging ganoong babae. Hindi ako ganoong babae. Ibang klase ng babae ako. Babae akong alam ang gusto ng tunay na babae, at iyan ay ang mapaligaya sa pamamagitan ng paghagod sa kanyang pagkababae. ‘Yan, ganyang klase ng babae ako.

“You’re just saying that because you haven’t found the right man yet,” sabi naman ng isa ko pang kaibigang het. Gusto ko ring itanong sa kanya, “E ikaw, why did you settle for some man when you can have any other man other than him?” Pero hindi ko na lang siya sinagot ng ganon. Kundangan kasi, tatlong oras na naman siyang bubulahaw sa harap ko habang kinukuwento ang bawa’t kuwento ng pasa niya sa katawan. Haven’t found the right man... e ‘yung man niya kaya, haven’t found the right spot to punch kaya? Pero siyempre hindi ko matatanong iyon. Out of respect, sabi nga sa inggles. Pero hindi rin. Ang sa akin ay, out of boredom, kasi bored na bored na ko sa kakakuwento niya ng panggugulpi sa kanya ng boyfriend niya tuwing mag-aaway sila, at bored na bored na ako sa kakadala ko sa kanya sa east avenue para magpa-medico legal. Ni hindi pa nga sila kasal! Bakit ba nagpapasakal na siya dito? Hay hindi ko alam. Basta ako, simple lang ang gusto ko. Gusto ko nang umuwi, at gusto kong mag-uwi...ng puki.

Pero mahirap mag-uwi ng puki, lalo na’t narito ka sa bansang ito. Puro party ang alam gawin ng mga puki rito, at ‘pag nakakilala ka ng puki sa party, itatanong kung may puking opisyal na nagmamay-ari ng puki mo, bago ka nila hayaang salatin ang puki nila. Puki ng inang mga ‘to. Minsan halik lang ang gusto mo e, kung anu-ano pang ritwal at kabalbalan ang kelangan mong pagdaanan para lang masalat ang puki nila.

‘Naknampuki talaga oo.

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