Presence of mind ang kailangan sa panahong ganun. Like me, it took me a few seconds to realize what I need to do when it hit. Ano nga ba ang nangyari?
Nandiyan ako sa Breast Center ng St. Luke's kung saan ako pinapakuha ng doctor ko ng breast ultrasound. Kakatapos ko lang at magpapalit pa lang ako ng robe para makabihis nang umuga bigla ang punyetang cubicle bihisan. Nagdalawang isip pa ako kung magsusuot ako ng bra o shirt na lang o lalabas na lang akong naka-top robe. Mabuti na lang at mabilis akong mag-isip at mabilis ding kumilos sa dilim (nawala ang lights nang umuga na) at nakapagbihis ako sa dilim (years of media production practice ito teh). Paglabas ko, andun si sweetheart ko, naka-robe pa. Kasalukuyan pala siyang nakasalang sa ultrasound din nang umuga ang building. Take note na 12th floor ito kaloka. So siyempre sama kami sa lahat nung sinabi nilang evacuate the building. Baba kami sa stairs with the rest of them folks sa Breast Center, doctors and aides and fellow patients na naka-robe din.
Alam mo, kakaiba 'yang mga taong nadadatnan ko sa Breast Center lagi. Tanong nga ni sweetheart ko, bakit kaya laging madadaldal 'yung mga tao dun. Hindi kasi ito first time na nagpaganito kami. Yearly mammogram din dito, also monitoring every quarter. Naabisuhan nga din ako ng doc na mag-monitor dahil sa parehong side ng pamilya nagka-breast cancer. Also, my mom was the original na mino-monitor namin dahil ipapa-biopsy nga daw dapat. I searched for a better doctor and that led us to this current good breast specialist we have. Mom's better naman na, nawala ang anumang nagbabadya, pati rin 'yung sa akin. Pero monitor-monitor pa rin nonetheless.
Pagkatapos mong magbayad at proseso sa main desk nila doon, papapasukin ka sa waiting area na maliit kung saan ka magbibihis ng top robe tapos upo ka dun kasama ng ibang naghihintay. Iba-ibang age range ang nakikita namin doon. May super-senior, may mag kaedadan ko. That Monday we were there, may isang super-quiet na parang mas bata sa akin nang konti. I can feel her tension knots from three paces away. Kabado si ati. Samantalang 'yung ibang ale at lola doon, chika galore lang ng kung anik-anik. Current topic nila at that time: Grab prangkisa vs. taxi prangkisa. Enlightening.
Anyway, sabi ko nga kay sweetheart ko, siyempre kinakabahan 'yung iba dun. Kapag kabado ka, the tendency is to keep really quiet or be uber-chatty. Tensed ategurl was obviously quiet and kabado. The others maybe. Or puwede ring bored lang at talagang tendency ng human being ang chumika sa iba. To each her own.
Paminsan-minsan, may makakaupo ka doong isang elder tita or lola na tila may iniinda na, pero ipinasa-Diyos na niya ang estado niya. Mga "let go and let God" type of eklavu peeps din dun. Siyempre, hinid mawawala 'yun sa Pinas. And that's fine.
Kaya nung Lunes na umuga-uga ang St. Luke's at hindi tumitinag even after 10-15 seconds, the elder titas there started to pray, like loudly. I can't remember what, Our Father ba o Hail Mary, basta calling to the heavens for help and protection. And I don't know why, but the agnostic in me panicked more when I heard them chanting like that. Kakapanood ko yata ng religious-themed Pinoy horror movies (hello, Itim pa rin ang scariest, mga ulol LOL) kaya na-associate ko na ang Catholic prayer chants sa doomsday "we're all gonna die!" scenario ampotah. So yes, while I was debating with myself kung magba-bra pa ako or not, hindi nakatulong sa pagyanig ng building ang yanig na naramdaman ko nung narining ko ang prayer chants ng mga tita. Ewan ko ba.
To each her own na nga lang kasi, di ba. Si sweetheart ko, nakampante daw siya nung narinig niya 'yun. She's more faithful to the faith than I am, obviously, and we respect each other's views on this topic. So nung nagkita na kami sa may reception area, sumabay na kami sa evac through the stairs. Good thing no one really panicked, like panic panic Pinoy style, you know what I mean? Kalma lang. Except nga for those praying titas, na malakas ang boses, I think it's another form of supplying panic kasi. Puwede kayang isarili na lang ang pagdarasal? Ewan ko, that's just me.
Anyway, so I'm glad we came out of that one intact, and nothing was seriously damaged in the vicinity of our lives. My folks are good, my home is great, and my loved ones are okay. So that's a good result of that day.
And now, here we are, today. It's number 46, baby! Where are we today?
I went back here to work for the day. It's one of my favorite coworking spaces in QC. No rest for the wicked, my dears. Hindi humihinto ang komersyo at pagdagsa ng bayarin sa buhay. Kaya kahit bertdey ko ngayon, tatambay muna ako dito para magtrabaho. Busy naman din ang lahat. At may mga deadlines ako kaya kailangan kong habulin silang lahat.
As always music propels the day. Ewan ko ba, pero naalala ko itong kantang ito kanina nung naliligo ako. Kasi nga nagsimula sa "I feel the earth move" kasi hello, earthquake. Then ni-runthrough ko na 'yung mga kanta ni Carole King sa Tapestry CD niya kamusta naman. So of course, we land here:
Will you still love me tomorrow, world? Kahit maputi na ang buhok ko? I guess so. Asking no one in particular. Maybe the universe, in this case. I don't know how or why I reached this age now. Maybe there's still some purpose, maybe not. Maybe there's more to come. Or maybe this is as good as it gets. Yes, I'm mixing all of my pop culture metaphors here already. It's my birthday, so what.
One thing rings true, though. This shirt:
No day but today, folks. True since 1999, truer now 20 years later. (On a side note, I'm glad this shirt is aging gracefully with me. Sana 'wag masira ever.)
Okay, time to make some money, folks. Ariba!
At salamat sa lahat ng mga nakaalala. Heart heart.
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