Para kay Mang CV

Sinimulan kong buksan ang pahinang ito para magsulat ng isang post tungkol kay Mang CV. Pero parang tila nailabas ko na yata kagabi ang anumang raw emotions na kailangan kong mailabas. Kaya ire-repost ko na lang dito yung nilagay ko sa Instagram/FB kagabi, matapos ko siyang dalawin sa huling pagkakataon sa mundong ito.

Paalam, Mang CV. At salamat. Maraming salamat.

Yung eksenang pasko ng pagkabuhay ngayon pero galing ako sa patay. Paano, nag-roll credits na kasi si Mang CV, dakilang property custodian sa UP Masscomm Film dept kung saan ako nag-undergrad na naging UP Film Institute kung saan ako nagturo. Nakita ko ang parehong side ng film at mahalaga ang naging function ni Mang CV sa buhay film namin, mula sa panahong kinakapa ko ang pag-develop ng Tri-X roll ko sa darkroom hanggang sa naging honor ma-refer ng batchmates mo na "wow para ka nang si Mang CV" dahil kayang-kaya ko nang kapain ang Bolex cam nung nag-spaghetti ang 16mm film sa loob nito isang beses na nagshu-shoot ako ng film thesis ko, hanggang sa pagtambay naming barkada sa room niya after class para manood lang ng koleksiyon ng rare films na di namin nahihiram sa labas tulad ng mga pelikula ni Zhang Yimou, Francois Truffaut at marami pa, hanggang sa inatasan akong maging head ng academic programs and research division ng Film Insti nang naging faculty ako, narinig ko ilang beses sa buhay na ito ang suporta niya na "sige, ako bahala" kapag kailangan ko ng tulong niya. Cool lang siya at mapagpasensiya lagi, kaya kinainis ko nang may isang lecturer dati na nakawala ng library book dahil pinatong daw niya sa mesa ni Mang CV expecting him to return it pero nung nawala, si Mang CV pa ang pinapabayad niya at di niya inako ang kasalanan. Kaya tuwing nakikita ko ngayon ang lecturer na ito, na sinipa namin pero pinulot ng ibang departamento, ito ang naaalala ko lagi. Di ko na alam kung ano ang naging resolusyon doon pero sana ang mga taong tulad ni Mang CV ay nirerespeto. Nalulungkot ako ngayon dahil di man lang ako nakapagpaalam at nakapagpasalamat nang husto o pormal sa mga mabubuting budhi na staff nang bigla akong mag-alsa balutan sa pagtuturo. Pero alam kong alam niyang kailangan ko na kasing tumalilis noon; minsan, kailangan mong mag-exit frame bigla sa ilang eksena sa buhay. Kaya ngayon ako nagpaalam, at alam kong cool lang siyang tatango na "okay lang" sabay ngiti. Paalam Mang CV. Regards mo ko kay Ma'am Ellen, Sir Hammy at Sir Joven diyan. Cut ka na dito, pero take 2 ka na diyan, change location lang. Ingat po.

teacher tumbling series episode 1

now i know why teachers get mad incessantly and want to blow themselves up and just shatter to smithereens (or they wanna do that to their students). hay.

may ganun kanina sa Film 10 class ko, the GE course for non-film majors. since 70 percent of the class is made up of UP freshies -- yes, straight out of haiskul layp -- they're still below par sa usual maturity rate. but being UP students, you kinda expect them to jack up a few notches or so up that scale because they have some kind of academic x-factor.

but nooooooooooo. may isa lang kanina na tumambling ako nang tanungin niya ko ng:

"mam, wala ba kayong ibibigay na...incentive o ganun, sa perfect attendance?"

tangina, ano to, haiskul??? may bonus points at medal pag wala kang absent sa tanang buhay haiskul? potah. nalurkey ako dun.

at tinanong niya yan dahil delinquente siyah. as in, uber delinquent to the max. he thought he could make a 4-minute film production overnight. i guess he's not listening well in class because i always tell them that i give them days off to work on their damn projects, not to go malling forever. most of the other kids were able to pull it off, with some really really pulling it off well that i wanna offer them to shift to our course! may future sa pelikula! but of course i don't say that out loud, that's kinda unethical. mej. bantayan ko na lang na mag-shift sila...

hay nakuh. what do i do with these ones? sagot ko lang sa kanya, ang incentive sa kanya ng perfect attendance ay yung marami siyang natutunan sa pag-attend niya ng klase! tangina. ano ba tong mga batang to! at naaasar ako kasi siya yung nag-express noon na gusto niyang mag-shift dito. kaya sabi ko nga sa kanya, dito pa lang sa Film10 di niya pinagbubutihan, what more sa higher film courses na mas demanding sa oras, talino and most of all -- maturity! jeezus fuck! i swear, ito ang topper ng aking teaching experience on hearing the most bizarre question from a student. trés bizarre super! incroyable!

wala. nabuang talaga ko dun. it's rare that i get wengkwengk questions from students but i'm just worried about education in general in this country because they seem to be increasing, these wengkwengkkids. hay nakuh... ewan.

hm, speaking of wengkwengk kids, tatlong cmc students na pala ang na-expel because of plagiarism. hah, if you guys think we're not serious in these things and you could get away with it, think again. sabi nga ni dean, kahit ilang sems na nakalusot kayo pero na-trace pa rin, deds pa rin. remember, nababawi ang bachelor's degree due to plagiarism. it already happened before. yes, here in UP. yes, here in CMC.

kaya laging mag-sariling sikap. walang mapapala sa pagkopya sa iba.

i'm in the mood...for blogging...

sing with me now... for dancing, romancing hooooo...

hehe. chaks. wala lang, just read an email kasi from the masscom dean saying there's a retro dance fundraiser at the makati polo club ba yun? wherever. something posh like that. well, gudlak sa kanila. if the tickets cost half a week's wages, you know where you'll find most of us... home, and away from that event. sa baba ng sweldo ng mga tao, ine-expect pa ba nilang dadalo kami sa shindig na yan? we'd rather go out and drink with bosom buddies, sa totoo lang. or like us sa film insti, we'll go watch movies at the malls na lang. mas masaya pa. yun ay kung di umuulan. kung ganun, there's always the reliable dvd fare at home.

pero ako, writing mode muna now. this, after spending some time sa pagpapakadalubhasa sa aking tesis. hay. break din itong mga rediscovered arcade/puzzle games ko. like my gf introduced me to this new game called tumblebugs, na parang zuma. if you know what i'm talking about, maghanda ka na. mas nakakaadik ang tumblebugs. mas 3d siya kesa kay zuma, pero pareho silang fun. mas maganda nga lang ang sound and music design ng zuma. syempre nothing beats the latino sounds e. hehe. ayuz. tapos ngayon, kaka-chorva ko lang ng diner dash 2. naadik ako sa 1 before, kasi gusto ko yung ganitong games, yung hindi typical tapos may ginagawa talaga tapos may storya, much like that crazy betty's beer bar. hay naku sa isis pa lang ako, adik na kaming mics dept (media infocomm dept) sa mga games na itich. so forever download at laro pag wala si bossing hahahahah. man i miss those days, da original mics gang talaga (me, lenski, indi, irene), including the other peeps na naroon din paminsan-minsan (earnest, mari, malen and necta). ang saya ng mga sistehood days na iyon ano...pero like any other good thing, it must come to an end.

and so here we are.

o sya, pagpatuoy ko na ang chichiryahan. nasa mood ako e. ayan o dikta ng langit na natutungyahan ko ngayon dito sa ikalawang palapag ng aking tirahan. mag-review daw ako hehe. okei! go!

sige ito na ulit...san na ba tayo? ah...

LIGAW LIHAM
D. Emilio "Jay" Abello

Pitch: one time in the '60s or '70s in a semi-rural negros town, the post office suddenly stops operating, disrupting lives and loves

Catch: hm...tapyas pa konti, better for a short film

the premise is such a novel one, at based daw ito sa true event na indeed, in the life before email and the internet, snail mail was the main mode of connection of people and their lives. kaya importante ito, at event ang makatanggap ng sulat sa koreo. sad ako sa mga tao ngayon dahil hindi na nila nafi-feel ang excitement na ito, na siguro e napalitan na ng excitement ng email...pero hindi rin. mas kikiligin ka kung makakatanggap ka ng sulat na nahahawakan at puwedeng basahin paulit-ulit sa kung saan manmo siya dala. at ipapakita pa sa ibang tao. tapos yung excitement na magpapadala ka ng sulat and all. kaya romantic mode ang correspondence e. just look at all those old films featuring letter-writing in special paper or parchment, complete with seals-seals na personal na may wax at personalized pangtatak na bakal, before the rubber stamp mode na sobra namang chaka ever. hay... nice di ba? lalo na sa akin, na lumaksi somewhat sa loob ng post office ng maynila at later on ng araneta center, dahil sa ang nanay ko ay loyalty awardee na empleyado ng phil. post office mula noong buntis pa siya sa kapatid kong bata hanggang sa magretiro siya. nakakatuwang magpatakbu-takbo sa mga mailbags, nakikiusyoso sa mga parcel people, at nakikitingin sa mga ale na tulad ng nanay ko ay nagbebenta ng stamps, na later ay naging high tech kasi registered mail na chenes and all that jazz...

ay, teka dami ko na nasabi. review nga pala ito. wala e, pangit ng film. dapat short film lang ito, napahaba. bad everything -- acting, blocking, directing, editing and script. and producing? well, bigay na lang natin kay aktor-prodyuser karyll ang a for ayfort. pero mas maganda pa rin ang nanay zsazsa padilla niya kesa sa kanya. but that's another blog entry.

bawi. maganda lighting at lugar. yun lang. sayang. inaantok yata si direk peque gallaga nang nag-creative consulting ang mga to sa kanya. huwah.


SINUNGALING NA BUWAN
d. ed lejano

Pitch: intersecting stories (yet again!) of different characters -- a tv weather girl na mistress ng isang businessman, a businessman na nagpalit ng mistress at hinahabol ng asawa, ang babaeng PA sa tv station ng weather girl na pinagpalit ang jowang aktor sa businessman at naging kabit, ang aktor na ko-actor ng isang aktor na pinagpalit ang gay lover sa woman play producer, ang gay lover na sawi at laging nakikinig ng '80s tagalog pop love songs.

Catch: ang gulo.

may scene breaks, mga sentences sa isang blue sky na may umaandar na ulap, na kung iisipin ay parang title cards sa isang silent film. kaya lang, mas preachy pa ang title cards na ito kesa sa visuals. pero minsan, ang visuals din ay... parang nahirapan silang itahi ang script. actually, the script feels like it is a first draft thing. i actually love the premise of some of the characters, lalo na yung nabubuang na na gay guy at weather girl (na naging friends under contrived circumstances) nung hiwalayan sila ng respective jowas nila. ito ang top two stories dito e, tapos puwede ring idagdag yung ek ng PA at nung theater actor. pero other than that, everything else should be trimmed. but like previous long and winding entries, this one just refused to fall out of love with the material and the visuals. sayang. mas na-focus sana siya.

the premise was also nice, kaya lang nga pilit at spoonfeeding din ang labas. na of course, it's about how the image of the moon as romantic fools us into thinking that love lasts forever, or at least longer than we expect it to. but no, liar nga ang moon, and so are our lovers... sayang. ang ganda sana ng premise, nawalan lang ng focus.

pero better naman ito sa SEROKS pare. yung cinema one entry niya dati. ed's my co-teacher sa film institute, and whenever he'll have film screenings, he'll tell us "be gentle!" o eto na ed, gentle na to ha. hehehe. seriously, man, sayang talaga. this could be improved. malaki potential e. hm.



GULONG
D. sockie fernandez

Pitch: a summer in the lives of two grade 5 boys somewhere in the philippines, sometime in the philippines...

Catch: gary v = god mode

and so it shall be. kapag na-cast si gary v sa isang film, hindi na nalalayo ang good values and right conduct and sound morals diyan...at ayan na nga silang lahat, tuhog-tuhog na nakadikit sa buhay ng mga naglalayag na magpinsang grade 5 dito. minsan nasasakal sila nito. minsan ginagamit nila pang-jumprope. minsan ginagawang panungkit. pero mas madalas, ginagawang baging palabas sa kumunoy ng kasalanan.

o ha!

bakit ko ba inuulit-ulit ang grade 5? kasi from the way it was written by the kind old lady who spoke at the screening, it sounded like the kids were already in 3rd year high school. and that makes four years of difference, big gap difference to boot, ha. iba ang lengguwahe ng grade school sa high school, kahit naturingan pang mga child genius o prodigy sila (na sa film na ito, hindi naman. mabait lang talaga sila ng sobra). yan minsan ang trapping sa pagsusulat tungkol sa mga bata. nau-underestimate natin sila madalas. o kaya mali lang talaga ang characterization. like that pinsan na sub-lead, he keeps on dreaming about these "chikas sa fishpond na bakat na bakat ang basang damit pag-ahon!" iw as like eeeeeeeewwwwwwwww! batang manyak ba ito!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hindi siya kyut!!!!!!! mali mali mali ang characterization. homaygad. tuwing gagawin niya ito -- at pinapanaginipan pa niya! -- e parang gusto kong himatayin. jusme, e napaka-HIRAYAMANAWARI pa naman ng approach nila sa materyal (as in, teach good values to children everywhere mode) tapos may manyak mode siya!!!! wah!!!

ang saving grace lang ng film ay yung fact na it was shot like a tv commercial -- pulido sa shots, sa framing, sa pacing, sa timpla ng kulay, sa pagka-masinop sa production design -- men puwede nang ilatag sa kliyente ito! that's because the director has been a long-time adperson. that paid off well. now only if she could do something about the story... hay...

saka lutang ang kuwento to begin with. obvious na detached sa living realities ng pilipino ang mga nagsulat. like there was this one obstacle (na soooo obvious naman para mapahaba ang act2 hay) na nilagay dun para mabasawan ang perang iniipon ng kids to buy a neighbor's bicycle. may meralco dude na naniningil dahil ididiskonekta na sila at may overdue bill na unpaid. bilis bilis bilis tanong mo kung magkano yung overdue ng kuryente bilis bilis bilis. tantananaaaaan -- tumataginting na 97 pesos!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! poonyetah! baka water bill yan at hindi meralco, sasabihin niyo. but no. may cameo ng isang meralco guy complete with white and orange uniform ati. at nalurkey akeshhhhhhhh sa baba ng kuryente nilaaaaa! saang lugar ba yan sa pinas at dyan na ko titira ever, sa mura ng kuryenteeeee! a lesson in public utilities: ang usual water bill ay hindi bababa sa 25 pesos (kung hindi ka naglalaba at hindi ka madalas maligo) at aabot lang sa 500 pesos usually kada buwan if your household houses a family of more than 5 members with school-age children at naglalaba ang nanay ng mga damit sa bahay at nagluluto at hindi nagte-take-out at si papa o fafa ay mahilig mag-carwash sa garahe. intiendes? at ang kuryente, kung hindi ka mahilig magbukas n ilaw at manood ng tv at bintilador lang ang appliance mong sosyal e hindi bababa yan ng 300 sa dami ng punyetang tax at anupamang chenes ang nakalista sa electric bill natin ngayon. intiendes?

hay. **puso koh**

kalurkey. nabaliw ako dun.

hay. ms sockie, gawa ka na lang ulit ng short film. mas maganda atak mo sa shortie e. or find new material na mas grounded.

kalurkey ever.



TRIBU
d. jim libiran

Pitch: life of real-life gangsters in tondo portraying their lives, loves and death threats to the tune of improv slam-like freestyle old school rapping. yea boi!

catch: ano bang cam ang ginamit? sana mas maganda ang resolution. hey, even CITY OF GOD appeared real in its glossiness of rio de janeiro slums...

other that that, i like it! as in! biased lang ba ko dahil loves ko ang rap? hindi hiphop ha, kundi good ol' fashioned old school rap, at slam freestyle pa. i loves dem tondo gangstas. hanef. alam naman nating may gangsta lyf na sa tondo at sa slum areas ng pinas noon pa, pero this one is relatively new because of the rap angle...unless you've seen my student she andes' interesting short docu film called ESTROPA naginawa niya mga more than 3 sems ago na, na pinalabas sa abc-5 show na DOKYU kung saan producer si jim libiran... things that make me go hm... kasi it's the same thrust.

pero dahil sa hindi ko alam ang tunay na history ng ek nila (unless they care to explain it), dededmahin ko na lang ang chenes na yun. okay lang itong film kasi wala siyang masyadong mataas na expectation na sine-set-up o binibigay o pinapangako sa viewers. simple lang siya. tondo plus gangs plus bad neighborhood equals drama, sex, fun, violence and death. all preconceived notions and predetermined fates. all we have to do is see how it unfolds this time. and it did unfold the way we were expecting it to -- without pretensions, without hesitations, and with an uncanny sense of an insider guiding us all throughout its unfolding. kaya bet ko siya. hindi siya highbrow, hindi siya lowbrow. basta ayan lang siya sa gitna bro, hindi rin in your face pero hindi rin takot na nakadistansiya. kumbaga sa timpla, tamang tama lang. mainstream ba siya? hindi. hindi glossy e, kahit predictable ang plot. indie ba siya? oo, kasi neorealist ang casting, meaning non-actors, at saka maganda ang sandwich na ginawa niya sa narration ng bata sa umpisa at huli. nag-iiwan ng mark. yan ang sinasabing make or break ang ending. make siya, men. make na make. ayuz.

this is a film na pang-international. it's a peek into the dirty side of manila and its people, a premise long often loved by westerners who want to take a look at the exotic locales and people of places that have been previously colonized by their forefathers. achieve! padala na to sa cannes. postcolonial reality at its simplest. but as for local viewing, unique lang yung rapping chenes. at hindi mo na ulit panonoorin. yung ganun ba. pero okay lang. at least naaliw ka ng isang oras mahigit, tapos kain ka na ng isaw sa labas...

word up.


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o ayan na. sa susunod na ang shorts. and back to regular programming na tayo after that. ayuz.

laro muna ulit heehee...

sarap ng walang pasok! yebah!

7am thoughts

some thoughts at seven in the friggin' morning...

"are we dating the same person?"

- from sex and the city, the episode where carrie reveals she has a fuck buddy and she tries to have a relationship with him outside the bedroom, to no avail.i like this ep because this is also where charlotte thinks of changing her dating habits as suggested by her friends, so she double-books two guys at magkakalintikan, and she concludes that she should not listen to her friends. hehehehe nakakatawa talaga yun.

but this is a good thought. it's a curious question to ask, because it forces you to re-examine the choices you have made over the years regarding your romantic partners.

i'm still re-examining. will keep you posted... but this time, i think the cycle is breaking. so i'm glad about that. i'm glad about a lot of things lately, and maybe that has something to do with the cycle... among other things.

yes, that's what you call a cyclical discussion with your self.

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short clip on a film i saw last week...

PAN'S LABYRINTH

galing talaga ng mga mexicans mag-ilaw. di ko alam kung bakit may ganoong sensitivity. CSI Miami could actually use their services because to tell you the truth, i'm tired of their heavy-coated gradated yellow-amber tone filtering to achieve that sun-hot atmospheric sizzle. puwede kayang iba naman? just like i'm getting tired of the polarized cyan/high neutral density look of CSI New York, just to have that icey metallic detached nooyawk feel of sorts. da best pa rin mag-ilaw ang CSI Vegas, but i digress...

this mexican film is just plain excellent. storyline, acting (although the child protagonist could have used more oomph in terms of her acting projection -- kulang pa ng konti sa workshop, at sa guidance in directing). the vision is good, and to have that fairy tale thingie juxtaposed with the franco dictatorship chenes, ay caramba! perfecto. galeng! reminded me of LA VITA E BELLA (LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL) where the father told his kid a game/tale to hide the atrocities of the holocaust. tangina. yan ang konsepto! multi-layered, very textured plot, and good execution helped a lot din. pero to begin with, brilliant ang mga konsepto.

may ilang portions lang na parang slow ang dating, pero may payoff din ang style ng pagbabagal. the oveall effect was okay naman.

hm, can't wait for harry potter. the trailers are good. and we see more (well, more or less) of ralph fiennes in this one. yey.

*

pero nami-miss ko ang panonood sa teatro these months. tagal ko nang di nakakanood ng stage play. want to tonight, as two of my friends' plays are being restaged, kaya lang mga ati, hanlayoh kase ng ccp e. for a qc gal na nawalan na ng awto, e mahirap na lumipad sa maynila anytime my heart has whims of all sorts. argh. sorry ate liza, job, next time na lang... and sigrid, too. hm. sayang. kainizzz. kung wala lang lakad kinabukasan...

kaya lang gawad plaridel awarding kasi bukas e, at ang aawardan ay si ms cheche lazaro (broadcast kasi, tv, this year). so siyempre i have to be there, being cmc faculty and all, and also siyempre dahil sa nakasalamuha ko ang mga Probe-sters at si ms cheche sa bangkok before. so pay respects lang kumbaga. wanna watch? libre to. sa cine adarna gaganapin, pasok ka lang.

pero naboborlogs lang ako kanina why the peeps in charge want to set up the cams na bukas ng tanghali pa lang. i mean, hello, coverage lang ito ati, at saka video lang yan. and they won't require a whole deal of patching and laying cables and stuff for a freaking non-moving event! tapos 24-hour ahead set-up??????? e gagamitin ng lecturers namin sa class yung cam e...hay kakaibah. weird lang talaga yun. even if they're shooting using film, hindi ito magfa-fly. masyadong OC-ness lang yung early tech set-up na yun i swear. so no go.

*

and for more pictures, wala lang, share ko lang. sabi kasi ng isa diyan, hindi daw nagbago ang smile ko over the years. totoo ba? ngiti pa lang, libay na! hehe. hindi mapapagkaila...



29 years ago... (rite of passage, meaning no more red and blue crayons as writing thingies and moving on to mongol pencils! but more excitement for chinese garter games and monkey monkey anabel running games -- kasi tumatangkad na at humahaba na legs!)




and 9 months ago. (passage to righteousness, meaning starting the rebooting of grounded systems to pursue no-brainer payoffs but also let that go because of others' unmotivated hypocritical righteousness)

hm. you do the math. eh? hehe. la lang. that's called coded discombobulations hehehe. decode.

more vanity fair/fare at my multiply. link to your left.

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and to wrap this up, yeah ly, mami-miss mo talaga ang penguin! nano-nostalgic ako doon when i think of the good ol' days of just hanging out natin nina pam. oh hey check out that digifilm nga pala ROME AND JULIET, she makes a cameo there hehe (she comes on to mylene dizon in her flowershop garden). plus a host of our other dykey friends make a cameo din dun hehe (spot the g-spotters! hahaha). watch it if only for that. forget the storyline tho.

thanks for that comment justwomyn. yeah, been accused of being a head-person din. tama ka. years of exposure will tame one down to take it easy na lang, hence my tagline sa profile.

ponpkpn, we at UP Sappho used to do a "connect the dots" game much like what alice on the l word did with her chart. mas organized nga lang sa kanya hehe. that was a fun pastime for us. at isa sa amin nga ang sinasabi mong hub hehe. pag nagsiuwian kayo ng sabay-sabay dito, ipapakilala ko kayo sa isa't isa hehehe. ay, yung isang kabanda ko, may pagka-hub ang lola hehe. kakaiba nga ang kabataan ngayon hane... hehe. at hindi ako hub. hehe. wala ko balak. i'm a private person chenes when it comes to my love life. a la jodie foster mode hahahahaha chos.

more comments! keep 'em coming.

luzon libay, lesbian libay...and other libays...

My Lakbayan grade is D!

How much of the Philippines have you visited? Find out at Lakbayan!

Created by Eugene Villar.

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hmm, i realize i am confining myself to luzon... saka dun lang sa part na iyon sa luzon, sa may kaliwa ng mapa. although i've been sa may gitnang part, pero siyempre concentrated sa negros area kasi been there several times, and then one dot to reveal i've been in davao...teka asan ang cebu? napadpad na rin ako dun e...hmmm...kakaiba no?

okay itong chorva na to a. kay starshuffler ko nakuha hehe. try niyo rin.

*

obviously naboborlogs na naman utak ko. i just came from a 3.5 hour meeting kaya i still can't find the energy to leave the office. buti na lang at may internet pa kaya here we are...

yea you guessed it, revaluation committee meeting anew. natatawa lang ako sa mga ka-meeting ko kasi obviously, tired na rin kami lahat. either nagpaaptawa na kaming lahat sa kagagahang makakaharap namin sa cluster committee or nagne-nervous eating kami sabi nga ni mam anne dahil hindi kami naka-order ng pagkaing gusto namin talaga kaya lang wala nang pera sa admin chaka... so binge kami sa msg in foil packs, also known as chichirya, and some chaka food from the cmc canteen. and drinks. man, i want steak.

pero biggest reklamador pala ay si madam journ na medyo nag-OC mode kasi doon kami sa newsroom nila nag-meeting at no eating daw pala doon ever hehe. i guess unlike sa film na we can bend some rules a little as long as we clean up after ourselves and all, medyo tensed ang lola. kaya linis mode herself ang lola after ng meeting. well, such is life, di ba? wala lang, OC lang sya sobra hehe naaaliw ako. obvious kasing di siya mapakali during the meet hehe. pero syempre, makukuwestyon ba niya ang the rest of the peeps, na kung di luminary in their own right like sir nic tiongson e mga chairs of depts? so yun nah...

speaking of sir nic, it takes another geek, a film geek at that, to make this comment to another film geek like me "wow, new hair...and new glasses..." he said that when he first saw my new haircut and it was incidental that i had new eyeglasses made around that time, too. hehehe naaliw ako sa comment "new glasses" geek mode! hehe i heart geeks.

at dahil sa aking hair katay mode ay madaming di nakakilala sa akin nung umpisa at even up to now. like i think direk maryo j took 10 handshakes to recognize me. as in, hindi niya binibitawan ang kamay ko when we saw each other sa investiture rites ni mam gigi alfonso last saturday sa bernal gallery. hahaha natatawa ko just thinking about it... same with sir tikoy aguiluz who took like 6 squints at me and two explanations from tita lalli during the french film festival opening sa shang until his face read "aaah, si libay!" even martin from the french embassy treated me differently. kasi hindi na ko pa-girl noh. as in, total paradigm shift ang looks ko because of the hair. hm, nalalaki yata ang lolo sa akin hahahaha. saka kasi may kasama kong date na girl, kaya double whammy siya hahaha. la lang... some pipol...

in short, nagmukha akong soft butch instead of femme. hahahaaha.

pero on the other hand, natatawa naman ako sa mga sumusubok "umamoy" sa akin dahil dito. like there was this one student from miriam college na applicant for transferee sa film. after i interviewed her, we had this conversation:

her: mam, sa marikina kayo nag-aral ng high school?
me: uh...oo (thought balloon: pano niya nalaman?)
her: (looking so sure of it) ah...sa st. scho?
me: uh, no. sa infant jesus...
her: ah... (starts to walk away)
me: bakit, ikaw, st. scho?
her: (with a smile) yes.
me: ... (thought balloon: hmmm)

do i have a st. scho vibe, man? ewan ko lang. kia?

o dahil nga sa siguro tibamers siya at di lang niya matanong directly na "mam, magic ka ba?" or "mam, magic ka rin ba?" or whatever term her generation uses these days.

ay, oo nga pala, for the uninitiated, the manila exclusive high school girls use this term "magic" to refer to girls who magically turn from girly uniformed high schoolers into butchy-looking lesbians outside school. hence, magic.

*

sabi nga pala ng stars sa akin today--as usual swak na naman:

Taurus (Apr 20 - May 20)

You just can't see yourself clearly enough now. Your role in the world is muddled, too, for it can be based more on your ideal than it is on the actual reality of your life. Try not to lose track of the truth. Give yourself permission to do a bit of dreaming so you can incorporate parts of your fantasy into your life.

devah.

*

hay nakuh time to go na nga. baka pag-lock-an ako ng building dude ng masscomm, matulad tayo kay tilman na na-trap sa baba hehe.

later.

holeydaze r hir agen and all that jazz

you just have to love the cool intellectual media advocate misfits at adbusters.org for coming up with a new campaign that FITS my holeydaze mood.

 

Adbusters Newsletter #35: Reclaim the Season

------------------------------------

WWW.ADBUSTERS.ORG

------------------------------------

Dear Jammers and Cultural Creatives, 

If you celebrate Christmas, you likely don't need any reminders that it's just around the corner. You are also probably well aware of how stressed-out, hyped-up, dumbed-down, and just downright expensive the "holidays" have become. Nevertheless, we thought we'd take a moment to remind you that it doesn't really need to be this way.

All it takes is a few simple changes -- less presents, less decorations, shorter "to-do" lists, and a wee bit more good old-fashioned craftiness -- to bring a new rhythm, purpose and spirit to one of the world's chief cultural rituals, now warped beyond recognition. Consider it a long-term cultural project for the those seeking a little consumer sanity, a way to rescue our shared traditions from corporate interests and those who confuse big sales with real cultural meaning.

Of course, re-inventing tradition is not the type of thing that happens overnight. But that doesn't mean we can't start right away. If you need a bit of inspiration, check out our new BNXmas headquarters at www.adbusters.org. We have ideas for holiday actions like "The Jesus Walk," links to extensive web resources, plus downloadable posters, cards, and gift exemption vouchers to give to your friends and family.

Like-minded people worldwide have already posted their plans for a less materialist, more meaningful holiday. Once you've had a chance to see what everyone else is up to, go ahead and share your own thoughts and plans via the web form. And if you have spare second during this busy time of year, be sure to forward this year's press release (below) to your local media and absolutely anyone else that might be interested in what we're trying to accomplish.

Good luck and all the best in the new year.

Cheers,

The BNXmas Team

P.S. Email us at with your BNXmas posters and photos, and we'll try our best to feature them on the site.

---------------------

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

HAVE LESS, LIVE MORE: BUY NOTHING CHRISTMAS

RECLAIMING THE SEASON: Those of us who shiver at the thought of hour-long line-ups and $5 gift tags finally have something to rejoice about over the holidays: fed-up citizens and social activists from across the world are inviting everyone to take part in Buy Nothing Christmas.

Inspired by the international successes of Buy Nothing Day, and disgusted with the personal debt, spiritual emptiness, and ecological damage that the holiday season now entails, writers and activists began to heavily promote the idea of a downshifted Christmas in the late nineties. Since then, the idea has been taken up by individuals, community groups, churches, and schools in at least a dozen countries, with strongest support in Canada, the USA, the UK, Australia and New Zealand.

Despite the name, the Buy Nothing Christmas campaign is not really about refusing to spend a dime over the holiday season. It’s about taking a deep breath and deciding to opt out of the hype, the overcrowded malls, and the stressful to-do lists. It’s about reminding ourselves to really think about what we are buying, why we are buying it, and whether we really need it at all.

“First and foremost, it’s about restoring authenticity to one of the world’s great religious and secular traditions,” said Kalle Lasn, editor-in-chief of Adbusters magazine and long-time advocate of holiday restraint. “Christmas has been warped beyond recognition by commercial forces. It’s about time we took it back.”

Most participants will still exchange gifts, but will opt for recycled, homemade, locally produced, or fair-trade items. Some will excuse themselves from gift-giving altogether, and focus instead on valuable time with family and friends, on charitable works, and on rediscovering older, non-commercial holiday traditions as they also invent a few new ones.

Throughout the month of December, activism-minded participants will be taking two of these new traditions to their local malls and commercial districts. Groups of meditating Santas – dubbed “Zenta Clauses” – are offering stressed-out shoppers free soup, coffee, and a place to rest their aching feet as they take a break from buying. This year, they will be joined for the first time by slow-moving activists in robes and Jesus masks, who will be asking their fellow shoppers one all-important question: “What would Jesus buy?”

For more information and media interviews contact

MEDIA LIAISON: Clara Kuoch

TELEPHONE NUMBER: 604-736-9401 EMAIL: clara@adbusters.org

Editor’s Notes

[1] For more information on Adbusters, Buy Nothing Day, and Buy Nothing Christmas, and to read comments submitted by hundreds of people on how they are going to reduce their holiday consumption, visit www.adbusters.org.

[2] For a Christian perspective on the idea, and for tips on how to celebrate a Buy Nothing Christmas, visit www.buynothingchristmas.org

[3] Shopping and consumption facts: * Consumer polls from the last several years peg the per capita holiday spending average in the U.S. at around $800 - $1000, with consumer debt growing twice as fast as wages. * Annual per capita consumption in the U.S. has risen 45 per cent in the last 20 years. * Although people today are, on average, four-and-a-half times richer than our great-grandparents were at the turn of the century, Americans report feeling “significantly less well off” than in 1958. * A 2003 article in New Scientist featured research suggesting that the more consumer goods you have the more you think you need to make you happy. Happiness through consumption is always out of reach (New Scientist, 4th October 2003, Vol.180, Issue 2415, p44. Available online after registering at: www.newscientist.co.uk).

END/

 

emphasis mine.

for the longest time, i've been searching for ways on how to put my dislike for this season. the points raised above hit it on the spot, so to speak.  saka gusto ko yung graphics work nila, as always hehe.

well, eto na naman ang inyong friendly neighborhood scrooge speaking. well, i can forgive revelers of this holiday kasi there are a few payoffs i like, like they give gifts even if it's not your birthday and you're not expecting to get any from these certain people, and then there are parties with nice food and drinks where you can chat a bit with people you like to chat with and ignore the ones you dislike -- and win something in a raffle or two along the way.

the last week of classes saw two nice parties in school. the annual "bakit may bayad ang attendance" CMC xmas party had the always absent monbau as the xmas committee chair who thought up a "CMC idol" magic sing contest. well, syempre hands down dapat na nanalo doon ay si mam gigi of upfi dahil hello siya ang ms. savarin lounge singer of the century ano. pero syempre the crowd was all mass-oriented chenelyn and gave it to some dude from admin. and hm, kumakanta pala si atty marichu ng, er, mandy moore songs! at least young ang heart ang lolah. ay, as an aside, habang kumakanta pala ng "paper roses" si mam g ay nag-cage dancing ek kami sa gilid, pero syempre dahil mas ako ang nakatayo, nakita ako and now, i am officially known in the cmc world as "the cage dancer." bow.

sarap lang ng party dahil may nag-order ng pritchon, yung pritong lechon (hm, come to think of it, hindi ba double deads na ang style na ito? but i digress). actually, yun lang ang sinigaw ng crowd "raffle at kainan nah!" in unison ever. e well, they can't go wrong with that. two of my favorite things as a taurus gel: eating good food and having nice thingies.

well, sulit naman ang payment ko kasi nanalo ako sa raffle hehe. ewan ko ba pero madalas e swerte ako sa mga raffle-raffle na yan. i won an electric fan. later, mam gigi also won an electric fan. and then i overheard doc nic saying "eh kasi mahahangin daw tayong mga taga-film! hahahah!" hahahah true ka jan lola. funny yun ever. okei, kalimutan muna ang semi-vegetarian fare para sa pritchon. masarap sha in fairnez.

tapos the day after that, upfi xmas party naman. actually it's more of a xmas lunch which was started last year by anne our insti director. tama nga naman para meron ka pang hapon at gabi to digest the food. hay to die for ang handa, ang isa sa paborito kong lengua!!!! er, semi-vegemode aside na naman, nilafesh ko lang itich sobrah. dedma sa ibang handa. hay nakuh i can focus that way about food ya know. sobra lang... pero after da eating binge, tangna lumobo na naman ang di dapat lumobo sa akin kaya waaah back to kambing mode na naman ako at vegetarian forever, which means tambay na naman ako ng likha diwa. sayang, ang layo na kasi ng greens sa aking lugar eh. mas bet ko pa naman yun kesa sa likha.. not so much because of the food but because of some past history my former org had with da place. sabi nga ni frozone sa episode kahapon, da nerrrrrrv.

speaking of, ANYBODY KNOW OF ANY VEGETARIAN/SEMI-VEGETARIAN EATING PLACES IN THE METRO, QC AREA PREFERABLY?  E ME LEAFLENS AT GMAIL PO.

as for the gifts, the usual suspects brought their goodie bags and handed the people there some give-aways. mukhang poor lang yata this year dahil unlike last year, walang raffle gifts chuva. but i don't really mind.

hm, ano pa ba ginawa namin? wala, as usual, like most pinoys, nag-magic singing na naman sila dun while i just stuck to cage dancing. kaya relate ako kay HAPPY FEET, e, kasi i can't sing in a country full of songers but i can dance the heck out of them hehe. sayawan na lang! ano!

tapos nun ngang sabado of that week, LOVELY DAY xmas party naman dun sa wonder island resort sa laguna kung saan nag-shoot ng very first ep for next year kami. it was supposed to be an overnight thing pero marami ring umuwi at sumama na ko (see previous post about this na lang), but not after partaking of the very inviting hotsprings pools there and the "yehey friendly sa semi-vegemode" fudams nung gabi like inihaw na talong, fish and chicken. saraf! nagkaroon tuloy ako ng one-week craving sa bangus belly. buti na lang the neighborhood carinderia carries that in their inihaw fare -- at mas mura pa sa crispy bangus belly ng jollibee na harang naman ang portion kung mega-tomjones ka.

i guess that's the last xmas party i'll be attending this year. pasko na bukas e so wa na no. new year party? nah, pagod na kong pag-party ng talagang party you know what i mean? mukhang na-reorient at na-reprogram ko na talaga ang lifestyle mode ko. buti naman. well, nakatulong ang walang alak sa sistema hehe. hay...

so quiet mode lang ngayon. saka i've been enjoying talking really long walks lately while plugged in to some upbeat music. sabi nga ng friend ko, may sarili akong mundo in doing that. i guess that's what i'm really trying to achieve/create/enhance. nakakasawa na kasi itong mundong ito minsan e. we need an alternative planet. hm, i just wish i wasn't nearly flat footed. argh. oh well. the new shoes will do the trick. yea yea did some shopping na rin pero long overdue naman ito, at saka necessity, not luxury. iba yun e. saka maraming sale this time of year kaya take advantage na diba? kaya ang saya!

so, as the zen santa would say...

HOPPY HOLEYDAZE, PLANET! 

LESBIYANA LESBIYANA, PAANO KA ISINAPELIKULA?

NOOD  KAYO!  LIBRE  'TO.

VENUE:
University of the Philippines
College of Mass Communication auditorium
Plaridel Hall, UP Campus, Quezon City
Wednesday, 11 January 2006 10am - 12nn

CMC FACULTY COLLOQUIUM

“Lesbiyana Lesbiyana Paano ka Isinapelikula?”
A look at women-loving-women portrayals in mainstream Philippine cinema
by Libay Linsangan Cantor

How are women-loving-women being portrayed in Philippine cinema today?

Since the film Tatlo Magkasalo was commercially shown in 1998, the topic of lesbianism as a central storyline was rarely – if barely – touched upon again by Filipino filmmakers within the mainstream field. There have been a few lesbian or bisexual female characters and lesbian-oriented storylines in a few films, but most – if not all – of these portrayals are not of a major stature. What kind of portrayals are these? How do they show the lives, loves and preoccupations of today’s Filipino lesbian? Do they present a range of characterizations or perpetrate stereotypes that lead to derogatory personifications? But before asking where these characters are today, perhaps we need to ask how lesbians were portrayed in Philippine cinema in the past.

This paper will try to examine the image/s of the lesbian in mainstream cinema through an informal survey of commercially-exhibited films within the last three decades. By selecting certain popular examples, the paper will try to comprehend the celluloid life of the woman-loving-woman – how they were given spaces within the story, how their stories were carried out, and how their personas were treated in whole. This analysis of a Philippine cinematic “lesbian herstory” hopes to produce meaningful insights and hopefully also lead us to a more enlightened and empowered filmic representation of the lesbian experience.


Ms. Libay (Olivia) Linsangan Cantor is an instructor at the UP Film Institute where she finished her BA Film and Audiovisual Communication degree in 1995. She also serves as UPFI’s Faculty Coordinator for Academic Programs and Research. Currently, she is finishing her MA English Studies: Creative Writing at the UP College of Arts and Letters.

Ms. Cantor has garnered honors in different fields such as writing (two Carlos Palanca Awards for Literature in 1997; honorable mention at the Film Development Foundation of the Philippines Inc. 1998 scriptwriting competition); photography (“one of the five highly commendable photographers” at the 2005 World Association for Christian Communication International Photographic Competition, UK) and video (“Jeep Tip” short documentary honored as an “Official Selection” at the 2005 Chicago Filipino-American Film Festival, USA).

She was the co-founder of U.P. Sappho Society, the first university-based lesbian organization in the Philippines. She is currently an applicant of the professional literary organization Artista Para sa Kultura at Dalumat ng Bayan Ink. (Akdang_Bayan).

Her short stories, poems, essays, film/media and cultural/gender analyses/criticism articles have been published in different book anthologies, print and online publications in the Philippines, Australia, Canada and the USA.