today

just a little before i sleep.

i had a nice day today, despite of the rain. buti na lang at nasa loob ako ng somewhere kapag umuulan at di talaga naaabutan.

feel ko lang mag-recap, bakit ba. di wag ka magbasa. chos.

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i always have a hard time looking for these darned photo studios kung saan lokasyon ng shoot for mega. punyetang sarah black studio yun dati, naligaw ako. tapos yung kay ronnie salvacion! aaarrrgh ang layo sa sibilisasyon! at iba pa! ewan ko kung bakit ganito. hay.

pero dahil sa fan ako ng research and self-reliance, nakita ko kung paano pumunta doon at natagpuan ko naman, after another ikot of the taxi at pasong tamo...

the interview went well. this time, it was ruffa gutierrez as one of the ten most beautiful issue chenes sa june (haaay hindi pa pala tapos!). nakakatuwa na siyang kausap ngayon. sensible at smart. until dumating ang editor namin. ignite kikay mode na sila dalawa. pero fun pa rin. humingi pa ng advise ang lola regarding sa isang role offer decision niyang gagawin hehe, bilang dineconstruct ko ang role niya sa DESPERADAS ng bahagya nung chika hehe. e di nag-character breakdown mode ako for her. nakatulong naman daw sa desisyon hihi. we'll see...

gusto ko ang atmosphere sa shoot niya dahil mababait ang mga tao, from the stylist to the venue oic etc. hindi katulad ng ibang house of photogs na hay... taray lang ang mode. tse. ito okay. kaya happy akong umalis doon. wala nga lang bts per dedma na. may iba pa ko lakad e...

since maaga natapos, natuloy ang plano to pass by the inquirer office. moolah collection from a very old gig hehe. :)

at dahil rich na ako ng isang libo at ilang daan hehe, atak sa powerbooks para sa isang post-mother's day gift sa aking jowa. na ang sabi sa akin e...

siya: di naman ako nanay a!
ako: e... nanay din kita e!

chos! haha yeah ganun ka-suryal ang cheka kanena hehe. in between puffs.

i surprised her sa office niya at 3.15pm. sumakto naman sa yosi break so dun ko binigay ang gift.


eto ang ad copy niyan...

***************

pamasahe from marikina to makati on four different public transportation vehicles...237.50 pesos (fx, mrt, taxi, jeep)

stephenie meyer's new york times bestelling novel...309 pesos (after a 10% powerbooks powercard deduction)

the look on my girlfriend's face full of delight as she got the gift and hugged me and gave me a kiss... priceless.

there are some things money can't buy. for everything else... rumaket ka ng husto! hehehehe. choz.

***********************

if the book is good, pahiram ha! hehe :)

there's a fine line between romantic and pakyut hihihi :P and her name is bayli. cheka! :P

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my gf said there was this indian restaurant sa kalye where she works, so that's where i decided to have late lunch at 4pm. man, authentic nga siya! post ko pix soon. yummy. may mutton! pero walang lamb! hm. parang mixture ng central at south india e, kasi sa south, kung san maraming tamil, mas vegetarian ang fare nila. carnivorous sa northern parts.

shet na-miss ko india bigla...

after one hour (one hour, mother!), i had early dinner naman with the folks who texted na nasa may mall sila near my place, so that's where i went. kasama nila sina sanse at tito mario from the US. daming balikbayan mode sa family these days hmmm... at dahil sa di nila maubos ang orders, pinaubos sa akin! kinain ko naman! tanga...

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at since trapped tayo dito sa gabi due to the rain -- at dahil ayoko na ng further carbo loading! -- nag-gym myself akey. 1.5 hours. puwede na. i made friends with a lola (a card-carrying lola, senior citizen ito ati) who wanted to try the lat machine after she saw me using it, after she spent 75 minutes (sabi ng digital counter) sa treadmill. thought balloon niya siguro, "kung kaya ng girl na malaki ang tiyan, matambok ang pwet at malapad ang noo, kaya ko rin!"

tapos eto na. yey!

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yes i like today. rare na may ganitong days. yung weird na fun na kakaiba na heartwarming na wala lang... labu-labo pero malinaw siya. malinaw na maganda.

basta.

first time to be published in india!

publication news! read all about it! hehe. sorry can't resist.

lumabas na pala yung article ko sa I-Speak column section ng In Plainspeak journal, a publication in india of the South and Southeast Asia Resource Centre on Sexuality na hosted ny TARSHI (talking about reproductive and sexual health) na kaalyado naman ng CREA (creating resources for empowerment and action) women's org na may office sa india at new york. sila ang sponsor ng film conference na pinuntahan ko sa india last year (pictures sa pitik section under "neemrana mania in india" album).

my article is here and the whole magazine is here. you can actually download the pdf. hey may nasingit na leap photo nga pala diyan i took last pride march. ms. djlush, andun ka hehe. :)

but anyway, i-repost ko na lang din dito.

Issue 4, 2007

The ‘I’ column

... on how sexual rights affect one personally, and how they are affirmed and/or violated in one's local cultural setting. I live in Metro Manila where indirect heckling occurs in most Filipino circles, especially during drinking sessions among friends. Sadly, LGBT people are always the target or subject of these hecklers. Yes, discrimination is very much alive in the Philippines despite the active LGBT presence and movement in our patriarchal society. And Filipinos love to show this discrimination by inventing new words of bigotry or using bigoted and condescending word associations. I have always maintained that I will not let hecklers get to me. Sometimes, this is hard, especially if the one they’re teasing is someone I love. But if they tease me, I’m okay with that. I’ll just ignore them, plain and simple. Lately, I experienced a different kind of heckling, and a different kind of defense of this heckling. Never in my ten years of being a lesbian have I experienced this sort of defense – defense by the woman I love. Recently, my girlfriend and I went to say hi to her group of male friends who were having their regular Friday night drinking session outside their friend’s neighborhood eatery. Weekend drinking sessions were a fixture in that neighborhood, and everybody supposedly treated everybody fairly, meaning any neighborhood friend belonging to any gender and sexual orientation could join the drinking session. Gender and sexuality never mattered overtly to them as long as people could hold their liquor. Well, there is a small irony there: sexuality is, in fact, an issue. But like any other sensitive issue in Philippine society, the ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy (or rather, don’t discuss even if they know) prevails. Upon arriving, my girlfriend’s male friends saw us together. They were already familiar with me as she had already introduced me as her girlfriend to most of her friends. Upon disembarking from her motorcycle, I headed to the eatery counter to order food while she headed to the bunch of male friends drinking on the other side. Because my girlfriend looks very feminine (despite the fact that she is known in their neighborhood as a sporty, strongwilled single mother who rides a motorcycle), most of her male friends discount the fact that she is bisexual. They never fully realized the scope of her sexuality earlier because her previous girlfriend never made the effort to get to know these neighborhood friends. It was indeed a revelation to them when these friends saw me and I was introduced as her new girlfriend. I still get weird stares every now and then, even if most of the neighborhood already welcomed me as the newest addition. Lately, I have been sporting shorter hair and wearing comfortable clothing (simple shirt and jeans), making me look a bit on the butch side. My girlfriend doesn’t really mind, until I was heckled as someone who ‘looks like Aiza’. Aiza is Aiza Seguerra, a famous young TV/movie actor/ musician who had her own fair share of negativity as she grew up in the public’s eye (she started as a child actor) and grew up to be a lesbian – a very butch-looking lesbian at that. Now, she is out and proud, and still accepted by her movie, TV and music fans. Aiza’s name became synonymous with being a lesbian much like Ellen Degeneres’ name became synonymous with lesbianism in the US, and it was not the first time I heard Aiza’s name used in reference to a Filipina lesbian’s sexuality. My girlfriend doesn’t mind the usual macho men heckling; neither do I. However, there was this particular heckling that she frowned upon. When one of her macho men friends told her in jest ‘O, nasaan si Aiza? (Hey, where’s Aiza?), my girlfriend took a stand. It’s one thing to banter about one’s sexuality between close friends but it’s another thing to use names for a demeaning heckling. Obviously, the ‘joke’ was taken as offensive by my girlfriend since the joker was a known sexist bigot. Being an avowed feminist, my girlfriend has shot down this bigot’s sexist remarks in the past. But she shot down harder this time, because, as she told me, I was the one being targetted by the condescending remark. In the end, the bigot shut up and remained that way until my girlfriend and I left the scene. As an out and proud lesbian, this is the first time I had a girlfriend defending me outwardly, and proudly protecting me as her loved one. That moment of tandem discrimination-defense was something new for me. As I looked at her, I was more convinced that I made the right decision of choosing her, and loving her as well. And by her actions, I would say she feels the same way about me, too. Olivia (Libay) Linsangan Cantor is Faculty member and Head of Academic Programs & Research Division, University of the Philippines Film Institute, College of Mass Communication in Quezon City, The Philippines.

ayuz.

it sucks to be...here!

it sucks to be here! in hot manila, hot house, hot everywhere. well, not really hot.

wala lang. i'm starting to believe i'm built for a cool climate place, pero hindi niyebe-mode ha. i still hate winter countries. baguio-cold level is fine. hm, may UP naman din dun di ba...hmmm....

lamig kasi sa pinuntahan ko sa india that time i was there. parang baguio, chong. super. kaya sarap. sarap magsulat. sarap magbabad. sarap lang! ayan, sa sarap, nakatapos din ng nobela. bow! sabi ng ang isa kong kasama dun, expensive way to write daw yun. e wow, it works, e.

hm, reminds me, i might have to do the same thing when i write my thesis. need to be cold! as in.

magba-blog sana ko ng marami pero nawalan na ko ng gana when i found out that this free service is going to expire by the end of the year, so what's the point! maglilipat na lang ako hay.....

san ba maganda? suggest somewhere nga, yung hindi biglang mangbabawi ng free service. kainiz. maglilipat na namannnn! suckssss!

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hay naku mga tao, bakit ba tanong kayo ng tanong kung kelan ako gagawa ng pelikula??? naaalibadbaran na ko. ganun ba talaga kataas ang demand? hehehehehehehe. chos.

nakukulitan na ko eh. cool lang. aabot din tayo diyan. di pa naman ako mamamatay bukas e, di ba? so don't rush me. charuz.

wala rin akong pakialam kung nauungusan na ko ng ibang tao kahit di sila karapat-dapat gumawa ng pelikula according to our opinionz. kayo talaga, nang-intriga pa. hayaan niyo na yung tao, e adik, e, nubah. bisyo niya yaaaaaaan!

para lang yang lechon manok phenomenon of the '80s and pearl shake drink phenomenon of the '90s. sa '00s, digital filmmaking phenomenon nyeehehehehhee. in the end, ang matitira ay yung matibay, malasa at may flavor. devah. so relaks lang, go see a movie. devah?

ako, relaks lang. may i watch a lotta movies ginawa ko sa india. sarap lang. at nag-starstruck mode kami when we saw some asian celebs like the hk director yon fan (nice sya, mej lolo na pero nice pa rin), the indian actor and now director aparna sen (starstruck kami pareho ni ellen ongkeko, fangirl mode kami, nagpapiktyur pa! hehehe), and si parinya beautiful boxer. pare, ganju sya in person. mas maganda pa siya sa mga retokadang artista dito. kaya lang afraid ako kausapin, baka i-muaythai ako e hahahahaha chos. nah, di lang siya mahusay mag-inggles kaya di ko makausap. syet umalis agad siya e kaya di kami nakapag-fangirl mode pictyurteking.

saka some familar names in the international women's movement and the academe din na nababasa ko sa mga journals and stuff. si joanna kerr, formerly ED ng AWID, andun. chong, lesbyana pala sha! at inaway-away niya intellectually yung isang gay guy na nagsabi na "why are all lesbian movies sooooo depressing???" kamukha ni pascale hehehe. pero mukhang uptight businesswoman by day na dominatrix mode pa-S&M bondage queen sa gabi, afraid, kaya di ako lumalapit sa kanya hehehe. tapos si helen hok-sze leung (ngyar, tama ba?) na film scholar chuvaness, na-meet ko. kala ko hk-based siya yun pala hk diaspora chenes pala, at taga-canada. aysus. pero bet na rin kasi i love her articles on queer cinema sa mga anthologies na nababasa ko. fun siya kasama dun pero masyado na siyang north americanized...saka the usual kawomenan chuva were there, like sina pinay cheekay sa apcwomen, saka si malay yuenmei na nakilala ko sa ap-ngo forum on beijing+5 before sa bangkok. happy naman to see familar faces there. at salamat sa roaming ni cheekay at nakitext ako nung naubusan ako ng load hehe.

hmm come to think of it, even though the focus and participants of the conference was south and southeast asia, marami ring nasa diaspora ang um-attend, at saka nakkatawa lang kasi the conf had a feeling of "my colonizer is better than your colonizer" or "my diaspora is more meaningful than your diaspora" chos. parang may ganun. kasi nga naman, india, hello, sobrang weird lang makita yung mixture ng british chuva and the ancient india chuva nila, unlike here sa pinas na...nasakop na talaga ang lahat, at wala na yatang mega-obvious bahid ng sariling atin sa kahit saan ka tumingin, maliban na lang siguro sa mga jeeps sa kalye... weird lang talaga yung feeling... kasi pag nagpunta ka sa thailand, kita mo ang thai-ness despite the modern chenes (although exception sila kasi di sila nasakop), sa hk ganun din, kita mo chinese-ness chos, saka india nga. hm... e tayo? waers te. parang walang natirang pinoy-ness sa paligid... hmm...laos tayo in that aspect.

that also showed in the multiplicity of our skin. when i was arriving, the airport people thought yata i was kinda indian kasi malalim ang eyebags ko ate! yun okay lang sakin, blend ako dun in that aspect. di lang ako nakadamit ng tulad nila. pasado na ko for an aryan indian type. tapos when i was hanging out with the beijing people, the indians thought i was also chinese! then when i hung out with a bangladeshi girl, an indian thought i was also from bangladesh! tapos may roommate akong pakistani at malaysian, at tinanong ako kung malaysian din ako, kamukha daw e. nung nagtabi kami ng vietnamese, akala rin ng isang puti dun, viet ako. nubaaaaaaah. then this old canadian lady chatted me up and thought i was thai. ngyark. e tapos nagsalita ako, hindi british english, hindi asian english, kundi call center american english. abah, lost na sila ever sa akin. tapos when i was roaming around the singapore airport mall, abah, hindi ako pinapansin ng mga pilipinong tagalog ng tagalog habang namimili ng pasalubong. parang akala nila, singaporean ako hehehe. weird. lalu na sa plane. ehehehe.

kaya ang laging tanong "where are you from, miss?" 

hm, taga-saan nga ba tayo? kaya gustong-gusto ko sa thailand e. doon kasi, mukha akong thai! pag bumibili ako sa market, tina-thai ako ng tindero, ati! pati sa mall, sa street vendors, ng taxi driver, everyone! aba, blend ang byuti ko dun!

hmm... daming naiisip pag nagta-travel ka talaga e, no? hmmm...

taga-saan nga ba tayo?

pero talaga lang, ati. di talaga ko makainom ng tea na may milk, te. sorry i'm not that colonized. as in. postcolonial mode na ako -- i moved on.

kayo, kelan kayo magmu-move on?

tarah!

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hay...for the semana santa, dadayo muna ko sa malayo para magpahinga at maligo at mag-surf! yey. i luv my bos. may beachfront property sa la union! yey! gusto-kong-mag-swim-ming...yebah. kaya ayun. disappear mode na naman akesh. at sana...tantananannnnn bacolodddd! and iligannnnn! let's wish let's wish let's wish...

wish me luck!

funny film stuff

if you love or grew up with SESAME STREET like i did, and if you appreciate martin scorsese's films like i do (well, not all, ha), then YOU BETTER WATCH THIS. funny sha! hehehe. thanks to a friend in ny for the tip. classic yung ernie and bert "you fucked my wife" bit hahahha saka yung big bird and mr snuffleupagus bit "you talking to me? you talking to me?" hahahahahahahahahahhaha panaloooooooo.

**filmgeek mode**

okay i'm off to northern india in about 30 hours or so. first time in that part of the world, kaya excited. asia excites me. syempre naman, mas diverse e. kewl!

naka-roaming ako so text lang kung talagang kailangan, ha.

will be back after 10 days.

ciao!

kasalukuyang kaabalahang ka-chenes-an

na-miss ko bigla ang mag-blog kaya heto ako, nanakaw ngilang saglit sa gitna ng sandamakmak na trabaho. update la-ang baga.

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sayang naman ang ikina-itim ng balat ko (ng kaunti--bat ba ayaw kong masunog!!! arrrr.) kung di ko ipa-plug ang dahilan.

NOOD KAYO NG LOVELY DAY ngayong sabado sa gmachannel7 10am. 

sa clarkfield kami nag-shooting mga some kinda plane thingies na mukhang tutubing malaki (sayang gusto ko syang sakyan, e 3k per hora. next time) at saka yung hot air balloon thingies na gusto ko ring sakyan sana (at ang ganda lang niya sa gabi!) saka some kinda plane and motorcycle race thingie.  pero as usual sa segments lang ito at yung narrative spiels ay iba ang kwento.

hmm, napansin ko lang. eroplano na naman? bat pag may ganitong ep e ako ang natatapat magdirek? hmmm. so bakasyon muna ko next week kasi ang lolo hech ang relyebo duty sa directing. tamang-tama dahil balak kong yariin ang isa pang short film project na di ko alam kung makakahabol...waaaaah. sana naman. di bale, sfx at score na lang to make and marry, interlock and tapos! winner na akesh.

speaking of interlock, naa-ahensiya lingo na naman ako sa kasalukyan kong isang engagement pa. but the thing with working with peeps from the advertising industry is that it's fun kasi kahit ngarag lahat ever sa pag-please ng client, uber-nice ang treatment naman in terms of alaga. as in, three square meals plus water and refreshments in between, and of course the vehicle hatid-sundu chu.

kaya minsan nami-miss kong mag-work sa mainstream e, ahensya man o pelikula. napa-indie-indie na kasi ko ng husto e. hay... pero bet na rin itong paminsanang tv work sa syete. mainstream din ang approach most times even if the attack on the material is quite indie-ish. 

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current hate: mga taong madumi ang aura

puwede kayang ipa-laundry muna nila ang aura nila? wash dry press sana tapos ibalik agad para ipa-dryclean naman. kasi naaalibadbaran ang energies ko e. hmp, bakit ba ang dudumi ng aura ng ilang nakakatrabaho ko? saklap. kaya apec ang crown chakra ko senyo e. arrrr. sarap niyong tirahin sa 5th chakra...

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been hanging out lately with high school chums naman, for work and play. our barkadamate chielo tied the knot with this egyptian dude from cairo whom she met while working in saudi arabia. ayuz! itu-tour daw niya ko sa cairo at alexandria kapag nagpunta ko roon. yey! sosyal! pyramids at giza here i come. bibili na ko ng tunay na ankh chenes, dahil may isa diyaaaaaan na nalimutan akong ibili nito nung nasa cairo siya hehehe (hint hint). 

dami na ring life changes sa high school chums ko. nakakatawa at nakakatuwa lang silang kasama kasi mega-flashback ang mode namin lagi sa pag-reminisce ng mga bagay-bagay. at saka nakakatuwa ring mag-update-an ng current life situations.  katuwa ring makipag-in touch sa ilan sa kanilang nasa ibang bansa through our yahoogroup. sarap ding magbilin ng mga thingies pag may uuwi diyan, lalo na sa decemberrrr (ano j? tuloy ba? siargao surf tayo dude! don't forget my angelina jolie poster!)

shet sayang lang at wala akong photo opsto blog para makita niyo guys. my humble coolpix is busted and is in the nikon hospital as we speak. cost me an arm and half a leg to have it repaired nyetah. kaya kelangang rumaket hehe.  get well soon coolpix. i miss yah. wah. 

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also currently polishing my travel chenes dahil nalalapit na ang pagpunta ko sa india! yehey! samosa here i come! ano pa ba pagkain don? ah basta yung masarap. solb na ko! may visa and everything na.

nyeta ang dali lang palang kumuha ng visa kung tutuusin. kaya tangina yang US embassy na yan e, kung mang-raket sa atin na 100 dollars ang visa application and then 3-6 months pa ang release chenes or denial ek. e sa indian, 2 days lang me visa na ko, wala pang hassle na consul interview chuva na powertripping tulad sa US. grabe lang! at 2k pesoses laaaaaaaaang! can you beat that! okay, new zealand can. sa new zealand, libre ang tourist visa! yep, nakita ko sa embassy when we last visited the amba there. devah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hay nakuh...

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kung hei fat choi nga pala sa mga kababayang chinese. natutuwa ako lately na manood ng MANO PO reruns sa cinema one. natatawa ako kay zsa zsa hehehe.  i hope the year of the fire pig (er, lechon?) will be nice to this ox. hm, anong element nga ba ko? i forgot kung earth o wood ox ako e. definitely not fire and water. hm... sana metal. sos.

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balentayns na rin pala. marami na namang mawawala sa mga kalye at mapupuno na naman ang mga fairs, malls, cinemas, and motels. remember that one valentine years ago when this father robert the running priest dude ran and KNOCKED on motel rooms to remind people daw that sex is sacred at dapat in the context of marriage gawin and all that catholic suffocating jazz. e father, asan ka na ngayon, ha? hehehe.

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politics is the art of the possible...

...sabi nga sa EVITA. anukabanaman. tignan mo na lang kung sino ang mga tatakbo sa upcoming elections. it's the same old thing; nade-dejavu ako ng 2001 days ko when i first covered ate shawie and ate vi for pinoy times because their hubbies were running as senators for the first time. and look who's filing their candidacies again... chenes chenes chenes... same old same old... hay. my poor country... and manny pacquiao! gudlak sa yo teh!

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heniwey, ongoing pa rin ang NEW ZEALAND FILM FESTIVAL dito sa UP Film Institute Cine Adarna (formerly Film center). nood kayo. galeng galeng nung CINEMA OF UNEASE na docu ni sam neill. the psyche of a nation as seen/reflected/analyzed through cinema. wot a concept! sana may gumawa rin ng ganun dito, lalo na sa atin e napaka-tingkad lang ng cinematic history natin wow. ano kaya ang kakalabasan nun? hmmm...

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salamat sa mga constant and new readers and lurkers and commenters. sana comment lang ng comment ha para may response chuva naman itich. 

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i am currently addicted to audiobooks. kaya kung naglalakad akong may mp3 player sa tenga, audiobook ang "binabasa" ko. kasalanan ito ni chato na nagbigay ng regalo sa amin nung birthday niya (oo baligtad ang mundo naming film school chums) na audiobook ng STRANGER IN A STRANGE LAND. yey so naghanap rin ako ng iba pa, at ang dami kong nakita! wahooo! kaya eto na yata ang sagot sa aking recent chenelyn na "i hate it wala akong time magbasa ng literature" mode. audiobooks. bow.

hm, ano naman kayang gadget invention ang susunod na maiimbento para masagot naman nila ang "i hate it wala akong time manood ng pelikula" mode? siguro naka-plug na sa utak ang visual info, like JOHNNY MNEMONIC. ay bet ko yun.

yes kung di obvious, i dig sci fi stuff. but not hardcore, unlike some of my write friends na deboto ng mga sci fi writers. basta, dig ko ang genre e. lalo na yung nagpe-present ng alternate realities natin. bet.

teka, baka may audiobook ka, sana on mp3 (okay puwede na rin wav, may converter naman yung friend ko e). PAHIRAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. pakopya. :) so far, meron na kong mga george orwell novels and some classics. trying to acquire hp hehe. bet. we can exchange! go go go. e me leaflens at gmail or post here.

now na!
 

realize, execute and other verbs that need to be in action, maintenant

NOW IS THE TIME ika nga ng isang album ni...ewan, nalimutan ko na kung sino'ng pop star ang may album na ganito (yea, sometimes my mind is just full of junk trivia na di ko alam bakit napunta doon at di ko alam kung paano itaktak palabas, like alam niyo ba ang ibig sabihin ng tv show acronym na T.O.D.A.S.???). wala lang. now is the time to execute a few things based on certain realizations.

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salamat sa sagot sa mediocrity blah survey. i've gotten over my mediocrity blues after talking to a film director lately who also works sometimes sa tv. sabi nga niya, to wit "television breeds a culture of mediocrity, e. you don't have the time to pour out your mind and soul when the pressure of the deadline is there. minsan, basta lang ma-stage yung eksena, gagawin mo para tapos na, hindi na masyadong pinag-iisipan."

amen to that, brotha! 

parang yung sabi ng isa ko pang friend. kapag nagtatrabaho talaga sa tv, hindi daw ako dapat nagbibigay ng todo-todo, hindi tulad sa pelikula. mas may buhos sa pelikula. dapat daw i leave something for myself and not give it my all when it comes to working in tv.

amen to that, sistah!

kaya okay na ko. :)

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may mga naiwan akong bagay na ngayon ko lang pini-pick up ulit, at nagpapasalamat ako sa mga diyosa sa patuloy na paggabay dahil sa masaya itong pag-pick up lately. i'm glad.

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minsan iniisip ko kung ano ang mga deal breakers sa akin when it comes to professional and personal relationships. naalala ko lang itong term kasi ewan ko kung bakit pero may resurgence of a one-time favorite show lately, yung SEX AND THE CITY. nakakatawa lang kasi when i caught an ep sa channel9, practically walang natira sa dialogue ni samantha when she said "oh shit motherfucker i have a something something..." hehe. puro delete. and then there was this dude in masscomm who made a content analysis of the first two seasons with dangerous conclusions... i really hope he sees the rest of the show para naman mas malawak yung conclusions niya next time. at sana di siya naasar sa comment ko. pikon talo, remember...

 siguro eto ang mga sitwasyon o bagay na deal-breaker sa akin:

1. BEING LIED TO, TO MY FACE, AND TELLING A LIE TO MAKE ME SINK. sukdulan na nga na magsinungaling ang isang tao, pero mas sukdulan kung sinasabi niya ito sa harap mo at obvious na siya. that's just the pits.  

2. BEING LIED TO, AND BEING BACKSTABBED AT THE SAME TIME. self-explanatory.

iisip pa ko ng idadagdag.

pero kung mag-iisip ako ng deal breakers, siyempre kasama na rin doon ang mga klase ng tao na gumawa ng deal na yun. siguro mas maganda at madaling ilista iyon. here's mine:

1.  liars

2.  backstabbers

3.  oportunistas

4.  user-friendly people (they befriend you to use you)

5.  arrogant pa-self-important bastards

6.  matalinong tamad

7.  bobong mayabang

8.  mga taong super-galing humingi ng favor pero super-malilimutin sa pag-return ng favor

9.  mga manunulsol

10. poseurs

11. poseurs who think/act like they're not poseurs

12. mga feeling close kahit di naman kayo close (sabay beso pa, yuck)

13. mga manyak na wala sa lugar (iba to dun sa sinabi ni dj alvaro na "maginoo pero medyo bastos" kind)

14. credit-grabbers

15. mga losers na naninira ng mga taong wala namang ginagawa sa kanila

16. mga know-it-all people

17. mga taong nagsasabing advocates daw sila pero di naman naaarok ng husto ang lahat ng lebel ng adbokasiya nila

18. mga nakiki-adbokasiyang tao pero obvious faker naman

19. mga punyetang intrigera na wala talaga sa lugar (o iintrigahin ka kahit di ka kilala! sukdulan!)

20. mga activists na nag-cross na ng line ng pagiging zealot instead of advocates

21. mga matapobreng tao, lalo na yung walang k (kasi di naman sila rich in the first place!)

22. mga dupang at buwakaw sa opportunities, ideas and knowledge

23. mga pasosyal ng sobra, lalo na't out of context

24. mga pasosyal na di naman sosyal at wala silang k magpasosyal ever

tamo, mas marami nga pag character-based kesa plotpoint-based. [teacher mode]

sabi nga sa sex and the city, deal breaker yung pag may ginawa sa yo, talagang di ka na magdadalawang-isip sa pagkalas ng relasyon. of course they're talking about men, as always. pero here in my case, relasyon can mean professional or personal nga, personal na puwedeng friendship lang at hindi necessary lover.

last december, na-disappoint kasi ako ng husto sa ilang kaibigang matagal ko nang tinuturing na kaibigan. mabuti na lang at nagising ako sa katotohanang hindi ko pala sila talaga kaibigan. kaya nga mas nasasala ko na ang mga taong umaaligid sa akin ngayon.

sorry about this post. talagang kelangan lang ng purging.

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mukhang magiging masaya at aktibo ang aking summer, lalo na ang abril, my birthmonth. ngayon pa lang e marami nang plano. sana nga. sana naman diyamante na imbis na tanso ang maipon para in line with my birthstone.

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natatawa ako sa mga taong di naniniwala sa karma. tulad ng kapag nanira sila at nanadyang mag-powertrip ng husto, di ba nila nare-realize na ang mga maliliit na abala o disgrasya sa kanila na nagaganap matapos nilang gawin ang mga di kanais-nais ay balik ng karma iyon??? it works dude, it works.

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talaga yatang di ako makakatakas sa showbiz o showbiz-minded people and situations. kasi lahat pala ng larangang pasukan ko ay pulos showbizzzzzz ang mga utaw... kaya kelangang sakyan ng kapares na sasakyan para makaandar ako sa kanilang race track (kahit wala namang karera).

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the thing with people is that they don't know one thing about me, or they haven't realized it yet: kung gago ka, mas gago ako. kaya magtago ka na sa pinanggalingan mo. apat sungay ko, ati. taurus in the year of the ox. suwag ever. let the buyer beware. chos.

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i just realized that i also hate pathetic people. pathetic liars, to be exact. yes, talagang iba-iba ang level ng pagsisinungaling. 

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on the lighter side of things, i'm going to india next month wahoooooooooooooooo. for free! yey. to attend this . sosyal! ipapalabas ang maximo at pusang gala din doon. ewan kung sino sa production ang dadalo. ayuz. can't wait! 

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right now, i'm missing the company of my real friends. thanks for the new testi, ki. 

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salamat sa mga nagko-comment sa board at sa page mismo. winterdoll, gusto mo buhay mo unahin nating isapelikula? hihihihi joke. hmmm kay dre na lang kaya para abutin ng episode 6 a la star wars, anesh mare? hehe. ipa-aprub sa producer! hehe. tatlong lapad, go! chos.

salamat sa pagpaparamdam sa iba riyan. ipagpatuloy lang!

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dudes, i just realized that yesterday marked the 2-year birthday of this blog! ayuz. and where was i before that? look at my link sa left na lang. anjan lahat, yakang-yakang i-trace ninuman, kahit ng cia hehe. hapibertdeyblog!

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sabi ng co-faculty kong si edlej , magsulat na daw ako! pressure! oo nah ati! eto na! eto na! lesbian vampire story naman daw kaya para maiba? ati, ayoko! kasi life story ko yon! di niya ata alam na ako ay isang lesbian vampire! hweheheheheheh. chos.

INTERVIEW WITH A VAMPIRE mode na naman akesh. kapapanood na naman for the umpteenth time sa cable the other day.

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sabi rin ng isa pang co-faculty na si roland, tapusin na ang MA! oo nah oo nah! eto na nga ati, dedefend na ko sa mayo! 

teka, bat ba ko pine-pressure ng mga vaklerz? hm...

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trying to write contemporary lesbian stories here but for the life of me, i dunno why my mind conjures up lesbian stories situated in the medieval times, starring angelina jolie and michelle rodriguez to boot. hanlaboh. there must be a scientific explanation for this!

link it to me one more time...chos or, ang presensya sa internet ng inyong lingkod kapag vain siya, bow at iba pang isipin..

while waiting forever and ten days for this ellen youtube clip to load (sensha na baba sahod sa guro ng peyups kaya di namin afford ang broadband sa bahay) e nagtrabaho muna kong konti. ay hindi pala, nag-attempt magtrabaho to no avail. so i just did what i haven't done for a while -- google myself. feeling vain ako ngayon e, or perhaps "waiting in vain" for this clip.

as of this writing, i checked the 20 pages na nakalista sa google na naglilista daw ng name ko or some permutation. same old same old lang din naman. the usual isis stuff is there of course, sa dami ba naman ng sinulat ko dun e. tapos the usual literary reference chenes, like ginagamit din palang part ng syllabus ang mga kwentong sinulat ko dati. kaka-flatter naman yun. tapos minsan, i run across some thingies that make me say, "wow, i said that?"

like this:

 Women’s perspective is “an engendered perspective, or what NGOs usually term ‘gender sensitivity’,” said Libay Linsangan Cantor, media and “infocom” campaigns associate of the feminist nongovernmental organization Isis International-Manila. Basically, she explained, it means women's welfare should be taken into consideration, the objective being to remove any bias against women and ensure equality with men “in anything, including news reports.”

  Among the issues that need to be discussed in the media but are hardly taken up, Cantor and Azarcon-de la Cruz mentioned reproductive rights and reproductive health and abortion. The provisions of the reproductive health bill, for example, have not been thoroughly presented, Azarcon-de la Cruz said. “Where in the bill does it say that it legalizes abortion, as its opponents claim?” Cantor also raised issues like sexuality or sexual orientation, indigenous women and other marginalized groups like farmers and the urban poor, and “issues that the mainstream media avoid so as not to irk the Catholic Church.”

ah, ang tarush ng lola mo. during my very lucid moments, ang harshness ko pala no. hehe as if i didn't know that. ching! chika lang.

read the rest here .

pero minsan nakakagulat ang mga ibang discoveries. like na-mention ako sa blog ng isang gaydude na di ko kilala. may nag-recommend sa kanya (o siya ang nag-recommend) ng short story ko sa isang tao. kewl naman.

o kaya matitisod mo ang blog ng mga colleagues mo at may excerpt na ganito:

 Pangalawang beses na itong naiatas sa akin, ang pagpili ng mga pinakamabuting kwento. Noong una, sa taong 1997, binanggit ko ang pamantayan ng pagpili—una, ang kasinsinan, kundi man inobasyon, sa gamit ng kumbensyon sa pagkukwento; at ikalawa, ang kasinsinan sa politikang tinangkang gamitin at palawigin. Tatlong taon matapos, sa taong 2000, hindi naman lubusang nagbago ang pamantayang iyon.

Sa unang pamantayan, dapat ay higit ang lamang ng “senior” sa nakakabatang manunulat. Pero kapansinpansin ang interaksyon ng mas nakakatanda at batang manunulat. Nandito sina Reynaldo Duque, at ang henerasyon ng Katha—sina Eli Rueda Guieb III, V.E. Nadera Jr. at Orlando Maliwanag. At nandito rin ang umuusbong na bagong henerasyon ng kwentista—sina Daniel ______, Mario L. Cuezon, Alwin Aguirre, Libay Linsangan Cantor, Jose Maria Bayani, Alva Pao-Pei Marano, at marami pang iba. At ito ang nakakatuwa sa kwento ng 2000: kahit pa limitado ang publikasyon, patuloy pa rin ang mayamang produksyon ng kwento. Integral ang mga publikasyong ito sa pasusustena ng buhay at pag-unlad ng panitikang Filipino.

o ha. winner talaga si lola roland ! hehe.

minsan din may ganitong quote, na medyo lumilihis ng slyyyyyt konti:

 Libay Cantor, 32, filmmaker, the Palanca Award-winning writer and lesbian advocate reveals, “Bisexuals are a marginalized group within a marginalized group.” “Bisexuals are typecast ‘bi and bye’—that they will dump you for a guy. Some advise that to have a lasting, loving relationship, do not get a bisexual for a partner. Their partners, especially the heterosexual ones, suffer. What do you do when they [bisexuals] look for a body part that you do not possess?”

 well at least binawi naman sa huli, comme ca:

All respondents noted a growing trend among the youth in favor of bisexuality. Though Pro-Gay states that there are no exact figures on the number of homosexuals and bisexuals in the Philippines, Cantor notes, “They [the youth] don’t want to be labeled. They are more open to experiment.” Falguera affirms observations on the dynamic sexual orientations of today’s youth and notes that this may erode commitment and support for the LGBT movement. However, Cantor reassures, “The rainbow represents us. There is an entire alphabet we can add to LGBT.”

anyway, read the rest here na lang.

freyndsheep ko naman ang awtor kaya keri na rin. his heart is always in the right place.

pero ito kakaiba. may ganito rin pala hehe.

 

이 책에는 필리핀에서 꽤 알려진 레즈비언 작가인 Libay Linsangan Cantor의 글도 실려 있 >다. 필리핀 최초의 대학 내 레즈비언 조직인 UPSappho

 

foreign language literal! ano kaya ibig sabihin niyan? but judging from the sappho tag, baka lezsite ito ng mga orgs sa korea or somewhere. noh? malamang.

minsan magugulat ka rin kasi biglang may excerpt na andun pangalan mo, like this one blog saying favorite niya ang fridays kasi dahil sa class ko, o kaya happy siya sa grade niya sa film niya dahil binigyan ko siya ng uno, o kaya they are beginning to like me as a person chenes -- yes folks, blogs ng students ko. heartwarming naman.

kakaiba sila. walang pakundangang magsulat. merong andun na sasabihin o magrereklamo kung bakit mababa ang grade nila sa scripts nila (binasa kaya nila ang assessment ko?) o kaya tatawagin akong fat biatch or something, at gagawa ng stage play na isa akong karakter. nakakatawa sila. creative, at nakakatuwanatutuwa naman ako kahit nilalait ako minsan dahil nakakapag-express sila ng ganun. kasi nga liberating na ang medium na ito, so i highly encourage it, kahit laitin nila ko o puriin. so sige lang, sulat lang ng sulat. para mahasa ang mga utak pa.

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my long lost friend in paris dropped me a line in ym lately (sa wakas sabay kaming naka-online after ten thousand years), and i so envy her! she was a hug away from voldemort! ralph fiennes, that is. and in cuba, no less! ayayayayay!

 

inggit mode me! arrrr! je t'envie, pascale! hehe (did i get that conjugation right?). i hope you shagged him hahahaha! kidding!

 

arrr! mas inggit mode! the architecture and the culture! havanaaaaaa! vamos vamos tayo dun!

 

mega-inggit mode! arrrrr! i so love the cars there talaga. ganyan mga dream cars ko kasi e hehe. viva cuba! cuba libre! libre niyo ko papunta dun! hehehe.

but first, off to this place...

punjabi mc anjan ka ba? chos

yep. rajasthan or bust. more like lipad naaaa! yebah india! haha yes, i got it. salamat.

pero kung kayanin din ng powers, paris or bust din. maybe in a year's time, or when i finally get my MA finished and that's my gift sa sarili ko. anesh? puwede. hmmm... pero mas bet ko ang havana e. wat u tink?

a friend is going to paris pala next week. well, i hope she discovers what she's looking for, finally...kahit nasa ibang continent yun. gudlak sa yo, mare. hirap ng sitwasyong yan! hay...

another friend dropped a line sa ym din kanina. sa denmark naman siya. stay well there indi! i'll wait for the postcard! :) have fun! kaya lang ano'ng hitsura ng 4:30pm sunset? patingin picture!

hello din sa friendships in tokyo! we really had a blast, dre, no? sarap. balik kayo agad! now nah! :)

and since we're at it, hello na rin sa friendships in nooyawk! :) stay warm, girls. as in, really warm, ha, you know what i mean hehe.

ponpokopon, sana nakabili ka ng komiks. andito ka pa ba?

thanks din lhen sa solidarity statement hehe. mabuhei!