of honesty and the right thing to do

I nearly became 30,000 pesos richer today had I not been honest with the bank teller. She could have been on her way to not having three months' worth of salaries because of the simple error she made earlier. I deposited 11 thousand in my bank account and I don't know why she saw it as 30,000 or something. I double-checked my receipt and was amazed at the extra amount, so I checked my ATM outside to double-check again. Then I went in and called her on her mistake, which she was ever so grateful for my pointing it out.

Well, had I been a cheat, I would have walked away with that cash without batting an eyelash. But I guess I have a bigger conscience than what I expected. But I did that not to point out her error but it was the right thing to do. We should always go by what the right thing to do is, right?

Oh, I forgot, I'm in the Philippines. That doesn't happen everyday here. Look at the government.

I was just reading the news earlier about the proclaimed partylist winners, and one of them made Mikey Arroyo a congressman again. That really sucks. The rest of the winners will be proclaimed soon, and I wonder how many cheats got away with supposedly representing a marginalized sector of society in order to get a government seat in congress. Now that really sucks.

Hay, what's new, Philippines? Where do we go from here, pray tell? When our so-called "president-apparent" calls on showbiz host Boy Abunda to serve as his Secretary for the Department of Tourism... ay, mygash, methinks it's time to tour the world... or migrate.

We've been forgetting that most of them out there voted for a descendant of a rich oligarch. How will he fight for us? Nakup, Orapronobis, isdatchu? Sure, I love his mommy and I admire his daddy but I don't admire or love him. Sorry. Hay... let's see na lang nga. Bahala na bukas.

***

I am a bit sad about something today but I can't reveal what it is. But I can tell you that it still touches upon things we thought we are already handling well in certain sectors of society, things like gender discrimination and anti-gay sentiments. Hay, we really have a long way to go, baby.

On the other hand, I am happy about a new engagement that directly deals with countering this thing that saddened me. It's a small effort, I know, but every effort counts. Sabi nga nila, isang patak ng tubig, kapag marami, nagiging isang makamandag na buhos. Sige, abangan natin iyan.

For now, magpalamig na lang muna tayo sa ibang larangan.

***

I decided to reorient one of my earlier experiments with wordpress. I actually have four horcruxes there, mga leaflens offshoots. The one that's not going to be tinkered with is Takilya ni Leaflens, my film review blog and Karinderya ni Leaflens, my attempt at a food blog. I decided to collapse the other two, the literary blog and the media-oriented blog. I renamed it Culture Popper Leaflens for reasons you will see when you visit the site. Aside from film and food, I will be dumping there my thoughts on media and pop culture. I'm trying to segregate my writings so that they'll be easier to track, follow and gather. So there.

I'm actually psyched about the Culture Popper site, for some strange reason. Check it out. I also post pictures there, and you're welcome to comment as always.

Well, I'll try to turn in early tonight. Tomorrow's a big day -- the opening of the French Film Festival. They have an early brunch thing with press people, and I was invited. Kewl. Para maiba naman. Puro Instituto Cervantes invite gigs kasi ang napupuntahan ko lately e hehe. So ayun.

Sige, stay honest, folks. Don't be cheats.

up in the air...down on the street

So finally, the elections are over. More than a week after the Philippines cast our votes in our first-ever automated elections, we see the results immediately like you're just checking your balance on your ATM account (na hindi offline). After a day or two, local candidates already know where they're going to be for the next few years. Just yesterday, the final 12 of the senate line-up were declared. And in a few more days, we'll know who the partylist groups are who got enough votes to garner seats.

Sadly, AngLadlad is not one of them.

sunrise outside my condo window

But that's cool. As a colleague said, the fact that we were able to officially make it in this elections is a miracle enough. With barely a month to go to campaign, it's still a happy thought that AngLadlad got around 106,000 votes. That's not bad given the circumstances and the controversies, not to mention the religious bigots getting in the way of progress.

Not bad, not bad at all.

Imagine if we were given an earlier time to campaign. That must have been cool. We could have reached more people, LGBTs and straights alike. I'm actually happy that a lot of my straight colleagues and friends voted for us, even those whom I thought were not that progressive when it comes to LGBT issues. I'm glad I was proven wrong in this department.

So that's over and done with now. What happens next? Well, let's see where the new leaders will steer our economy, our culture and our human rights in the coming six years. I hope this batch knows how to drive better than the last ones.

Let's wish.

*******

On a more personal note, I'm happy that you guys are reading my posts. Thanks for the support. I'm also happy to announce that I'll be writing more LGBT-related stuff in a more formal environment outside my blog. I'm actually happy about that development. I think I'm in the throes of this thing called burnout in one of my professional engagements, so beginning new engagements really spikes up my enthusiasm for life. I'll also be starting two new projects which are not LGBT-related and I'm happy about those, too.

Life is full of surprises when you least expect it. I'm glad these surprises have some kind of monetary tags on them. Hey, better be ready for anything, right? With a new government out there, who knows what our economy would look like in the next few years. I won't actually mind if the dollar dips again, and maybe reach the 30s once again (it's currently at 45 pesos to one dollar). Let's see.

My girlfriend and I are also embarking on new things this coming school year. She will finally finish what her father denied her -- an education. We're actually both excited about this. As for me, I'm not sure about my own continuing education, but I'll just keep that on the side for now, perhaps. I'm not in the mood to be a full-time academic student again. Maybe next year. Being in an academic set-up via teaching is enough for me at this time.

my writing nook

What I'm actually interested more to do these days is to write some more. At least with blogging, I get to keep that exercise going. I'm actually thinking of going somewhere where there are few distractions. Yes, few, because let's face it, everywhere I go, there will always be distractions, so best to choose the ones with minimal "evil stuff," di ba?

The last time I did some "serious no distraction" writing was way back in 2007 pa pala, when I decided to arrive days early for a film conference I attended in India, and decided to stay inside a 13th century fort-turned-hotel for days. And what do you know -- I was able to finish my very first novel. That one I want to just polish again so I could finally submit it to a publishing house. A fellow LGBT writer friend has been asking me for lesbian material for this publishing house, and I think I'll deliver that by the end of the year. It's just that with so many fast advancements in technology, I have to update some parts of that novel that discusses technologies. Imagine there was no facebook yet then, only friendster, so I have to change that, right?

I guess this will be a good decade for Filipino writers in general, thanks mostly to the hoopla surrounding Chuck's internationally-acclaimed novel, the one that won in the Man Asia prize. Yes, that's Miguel Syjuco to the world but to us who were once his colleagues and co-workers, it's Chuck. He was once my editor in the defunct Localvibe.Com lifestyle-culture website he created with his Atenean writer friends ages ago. The Ateneans were happy to pick me up and give me my own weekly film review column when their rival UPians dropped me unceremoniously because... well, I'll just leave that story in the annals of "the stupidest conflict of interest reason ever." Long story hard to tell. Next time.

So that's Chuck for us. That guy can write, and I like his style, so I can't wait to get a hold of his novel and read it. I could certainly use a good Filipino novel read these days. The one I'm currently reading is... bleh. I don't even know why it won the Palanca (well, yes, I know why but I ain't telling! Saka na.) Too bad I missed his guestings when he was in the country. I'm not sure if he would still remember me, given the decade-plus absence, but it would be cool just to say hello again.

Good, I'm reading, I'm reading, again. I hope I could also write more, again.

Have you had the chance to check out the other Leaflens horcruxes? It's all listed there at the navigational bar to your left. The ones that I've recently updated is the film review site, the others have to wait. I swear, I have so many ideas, concepts and storylines in my head right now that I don't know how to let them all out and jot them down. I'm still trying to digest my two-month US trip as we speak, and that alone would take a lot of effort in terms of writing the experiences down.

with Frankenstein at Universal Studios LA

Plus it's hard to write in this heat. We're having an average of about 34-37 degrees Celsius on a daily basis here since I arrived. Man, the day I arrived, that was the hottest day tallied, ever! Talk about a warm Manila welcome, huh. Well, warm is right. I have to say sorry to mother nature for not lessening my carbon imprint, but in order not to get asthma again and to be able to write, we decided to get a small AC unit for the bedroom. Now that it's up and running, I don't have to walk down to the nearest Starbucks (yes, it reopened finally, after Ondoy) to write. It's noisy there already and not conducive to writing anymore, so I just decided to make my own iced coffee here at home and do my writing here. Let's just hope Meralco loves us better this coming billing period.

Oh well, Manila, my Manila. I hate you, I love you, I wanna leave you, I wanna stay here with you. Dichotomies. Ironies. Welcome to the Philippines.

the komiks-is-not-literature-kaya-kayo-galit-sa-akin defense

or to put it simply, naririto ang mga pinagsasasabi ni carlo j. caparas, komiks novelist (and NOT komiks artist) and filmmaker, kung bakit karapat-dapat siyang gawaran ng NATIONAL ARTIST title for film and visual arts category.

alam kaya niya ang ibig sabihin ng NON SEQUITUR??? lahat ng pinagsasasabi niya, sablay to the nth level. teka, baka tawagin rin niya akong "elitista" dahil sa may alam akong big word like "non sequitur" na ang mga binabasa ay mula sa akademya lamang and therefore hindi national scope ang mga arts. bleh.

haaay ewan. kakasira ng ulirat.

watch che-che lazaro's show MEDIA IN FOCUS where caparas guests with creative writer butch dalisay and young film critic alexis tioseco.

ano ang meaning kapag gumawa ka ng "L" figure using your fingers back in 1986?

mga muni-muning sumagi sa isip
sa pagpanaw ni tita cory

ano nga ba ang ibig sabihin kapag nag-flash ka ng "L" sign gamit ang hintuturo at hinlalaki mo at nakatiklop ang tatlo mo pang mga daliri noong mga panahon ng 1986?

imahe mula sa gma7 tv blog

tanong ko lagi 'yan sa mga unang lectures ko tungkol sa semiotics and symbolism sa kursong language and grammar of film na tinuturo ko mga apat-limang na taon na rin sa mga pumiling magpakadalubhasa sa pelikula sa unibersidad ng pilipinas sa diliman campus, sa institusyon kung saan din ako nagpakadalubhasa noong nasa edad ako ng mga tinuturuan kong ito.

at nalulungkot ako kada semestre sa nagiging sagot nila sa tanong na iyon. ang pinakabagong sagot nga sa akin ay: "Ma'am, Loser?"

loser. loser talaga ang di makaalala ng ating kasaysayan. ano nga ang sabi ng anecdote na 'yun: "Those who forget their history are doomed to repeat it." tama ba?

tama. kaya pinapagalitan ko sila kapag di na nila naaalala ang ating history. kasi baka sila pa ang maging henerasyong magsulong ng mga kabulukan ng mga nagdaang panahon dahil hindi nila masyadong inaral ang history ng pilipinas at kung ano ang nangyari sa mga tao noong mga panahong iyon. sana huwag naman. god save us, sabi nga sa tag line ng pelikula ng pinakabago niyong national artist for, er, film and visual arts. but that's another blog angst post.

at ngayon, dahil sa nakakanood na sila ng mga walang katapusang tribute kay cory aquino sa TV/cable, diyaryo, internet (mga midyum na hindi natin matatamasa ngayon kung di naganap ang people power 1 haller. nasubukan niyo na bang manood ng state-run TV? ako oo. i hates its beri mats. never again!), nakikita na nila marahil ang ibig sabihin ng "L" sign na tinutukoy ko sa klase.

at nais kong ipaalala sa kanila na ang simbolong 'yan ay makapangyarihan ang ibig sabihin: LABAN.

oo, laban, lumaban ka sa mga nang-aapi sa yo, tulad ng paglaban ni tita cory sa mga pumatay sa asawa niya. naramdaman mo na bang mawalan ng asawa? siya, oo. ako hindi, dahil hindi pa kami binibigyan ng karapatang magpakasal (but that's another blog angst post), pero marami akong kaibigan at kakilalang nawalan ng asawa, mga kaibigang nawalan ng tatay/nanay, at malungkot iyon.

ngayon naman, lumaban din siya sa kanser. naramdaman mo na bang lumaban sa isang sakit na nakamamatay? pero kinaya pa rin niya. lumaban siya. napapa-araguy ka sa tuwing naiipit ang kamay mo sa pintuan ng tukador, sa paper cut mula sa libro, sa galos sa tuhod kapag nadapa ka o natapilok, pero nakaramdam ka na ba ng punyetang uri ng kasakitan, yung tingin mo mamamatay ka na? siya, oo. kaya dahil dito, naaawa ako sa mga nagmamahal sa kanyang nakakita ng ganitong uri ng paghihirap niya.

mula sa Fact Sheet exhibit ng
2008 Cine Veritas sa UPFI Bernal Gallery
litratong kuha ko

malungkot ang pagpanaw niya, oo, pero sana huwag naman nating kalimutan ang ilang bagay na naging okay para sa atin, dahil sa kanyang presensiya at desisyong ginawa sa buhay. sige, hindi naman siya perfecto nga. sino ba ang perfecto? pero tama na yung nagsilbi siyang susi ng demokrasyang tinatamasa natin ngayon.

sana, sa paglaon, tayo rin ay lumaban. lumaban sa mga taong nang-aapi sa atin, di lang sa politikal na sense, kundi pati sa pang-araw-araw nating buhay, even in the seemingly simplest sense, where things matter to us the most, and whenever our loved ones matter, and our own lives and sanity matter. binubugbog ka ba ng tatay mo o asawa mo? putangina, lumaban ka! nababagabag ka na ba ng kawalan ng pera? puwes, lumaban ka, maghanap ka ng trabaho, raket, anything na matinong mapagkikitaan. huwag kang padadaig sa kabagutan. depressed ka ba, kasi malungkot ang mga nangyayari sa buhay mo? puwes, lumaban ka rin! sabi nga ng isang ad campaign ng reebok dati, "Because life is not a spectator sport."

pero siyempre, hindi sa lahat ng pagkakataon, lalaban tayo ng walang kaabug-abog din naman, o lalaban ng bonggang bongga. bilang advocate, lalo na ng mga adbokasiyang talagang puwedeng mag-polarize ng mga tao--kahit ng mga sarili kong kamag-anak at kaibigan--alam ko kung kelan dapat huminay-hinay muna at kung kelan puwedeng rumatsada ulit. siyempre hit and miss ang prosesong ito. kung may perfectong paraan ng pagsulong ng equality, e di dapat wala nang advocate sa mundo na mag-a-advocate pa nito. in short, no one's perfect, but we try to perfect things around us still. ganun lang yun.

mula sa mga litrato ko noong
2008 LGBT PRide March sa Malate, Manila

sabi nga ng isa kong paboritong kanta of all time, to everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven. so as a reminder, ilang linyang sipi mula sa kantang iyon:


A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep

A time to build up, a time to break down
A time to dance, a time to mourn
A time to cast away stones
A time to gather stones together

A time to gain, a time to lose
A time to rend, a time to sew
A time to love, a time to hate
A time of peace, I swear it's not too late!


is it too late? nasaan ka ba nung 1986?

i was twelve years old in february of that year. grade six, last year sa immaculate conception parish school sa cubao, at natutuwa dahil ang daming araw na walang pasok. kung ang iba kong mga kaklase ay may yellow stickers at pins sa IDs nila, ako naman ay may red and blue dahil ang lolo ko ay ilokano, hence parang default supporter ni marcos na ilokano rin. malay ko ba sa importansiya ng mga kulay na iyon noon? wala naman akong magawa dahil yun lang ang mga stickers at pins na nasa bahay, kahit sa totoo lang, parang mas bet ko ang yellow pins and stickers ng mga kalaro ko, kasi di ko bet ang design ng red and blue kasi para akong may suot na philippine flag, e hindi ko bet ang philippine flag noong mga panahong iyon kasi na-associate ko siya sa flag ceremony namin sa umaga sa school na kapag na-late ka lang ng dating e papatayuin ka ng mga madre sa corridor, na madalas mangyari sa akin kahit hindi ko kasalanang ma-late (yung serbis kong jeep ang late!). kaya lang baka magalit si lolo 'pag nag-uwi ako nun sa bahay at makarinig ng litanya ng ukinam! so dedma na. red and blue it is, i thought. at magbabasa na lang ako ng funny komiks kasi wala nang voltes v sa TV.

imahe mula sa photo essay na ito
ng time magazine

tapos eto na nga. sabi sa radyo, pumunta na kayo sa edsa, naroroon na ang mga tao... chenelyn. di ko maalala kung may panaka-nakang coverage sa edsa sa TV noon, pero parang meron kahit konti e. radyo ang bidang midyum ng panahong iyon, salamat sa radyo veritas. ako naman, akyat sa bubungan sa bahay ng lola ko sa project 4, dahil dumadaan na ang mga eroplanong tinawag nilang tora-tora. kamukha daw kasi ng mga tora-tora suicide airplanes noong panahon ng giyerang hapon (at malamang sa hindi e ang mga eroplanong iyon ang mga tora-tora plane din na ginamit noong panahon pa nga ng giyera!). malapit lang ang project 4 sa camp aguinaldo noon na isang tawid lang e camp crame na rin, kung saan naroon ang ibang aksiyon sa kasaysayang ito. ang lolo ko naman, ukinam na ng ukinam kasi pinabababa niya kami sa bubong kasi baka daw matamaan kami ng bala, kahit wala namang nagbabarilan. ganun lang talaga ang lolo ko, cautious. at takot. can't blame him; dinaanan nila ng lola ko ang panahon ng giyera ano!

sana nga mas naging pasaway ako noon at nagbisikleta papuntang kalantiyaw street, kung saan pag tinunton mo ang dulo, tatagos ka na sa 20th avenue at lalabas na iyon sa kalyeng malapit na sa mga kampo. pero siyempre iba ang panahon noon. noon, puwede ka lang talaga damputin nang walang kaabug-abog (er, does that sound familiar now???) dahil paghihinalaan kang subversive (um, jonas burgos baga???), kahit na mukha kang fil-am o isa kang fil-am (haller melissa roxas isdatchu???) at lalo na kung mukha kang estudyanteng tibak (um karen and sherilyn the prequel???) o kaya'y nagtuturo ka daw ng katibakan sa iskul (justice and tenure for sarah pa rin!!!) at kung anu-ano pang paratang, totoo man o hindi.

now you see the point of learning from your own history?

please be more informed. as we bid farewell to tita cory, the key figure in our nation's history, it's time to dust off the books and relearn the things we still need to learn/relearn today.

and that goes for all of us.

Manila Times column for 17 May 2009: "Getting ‘them’ to read ‘us’"

original post here.

THE SCRIBE VIBE
By Libay Linsangan Cantor
Getting ‘them’ to read ‘us’

If we don’t have access to foreign books, will Filipinos reacquaint themselves with local books and rediscover our own classic and contemporary writers? Well, that remains to be seen.

So much has been written about that “Great Book Blockade” thing about the Bureau of Customs placing tax on imported books (which violates a certain treaty, so it seems, that stipulates books should remain tax-free), presumably the reason why local bookstores haven’t had new titles for months now. Book lovers decried this move, with some citing it as “just another corrupt move of the government.”

If we debate about the corruption practices in this country, it would take months. But let’s stop and see its connection to how we could persuade readers to read local authors instead. If our country imported less foreign titles, will local readers read local titles more? Instead of howling that they want their latest Twilight series book or the latest Dan Brown-penned mystery, could the government perhaps persuade them to take home the latest Anvil, Milfores or UP Press-published anthology of new writings from local authors instead? I don’t know. As Jose Dalisay Jr. once said in a public lecture, “Filipinos love to read; they’re just not reading us.”

In film, we have the Metro Manila Film Festival, which stipulates that at least in ten or so days in December, all films to be shown within Metro Manila should be local films only, banning foreign titles. In a country where ticket sales of Hollywood movies fare better than locally produced ones, that’s a very nice incentive, even if it seems like such a token kind of incentive. Now do we have something similar for authors?

It often saddens me when I visit mainstream bookstores in the metro, as they all have very impressive shelves of a lot of books from most regions of the world. But when I want to look for my own country’s latest titles, it’s sad that the salesperson directs me to a small little nook, corner or wall entitled “Filipiniana” as if I am entering a section of a library where one enters to research for academic purposes only. I wonder when Dalisay, Kerima Polotan, Lakambini Sitoy or Luis Katigbak would share the same sectioning with Salman Rushdie, Chuck Palahniuk or Jeanette Winterson. Am I dreaming? I certainly hope not.

Call me crazy but one day, when I want to buy local titles, I don’t want to go to specialty shops in Manila or specialty bookstores of local presses just to avail of them anymore. I want to buy them in local bookstores where at least half of its titles are local. There are so many Filipinos out there writing in their own languages; where are their books?

Comments? Suggestions? E-mail libay.scribevibe@gmail.com. She is also at libaycantor.multiply.com.

samu't saring suppositions

hm, that new sunsilk ad campaign's beginning to air teasers. yung merong "life can't wait" tagline. i wrote a short sidebar story about that in connection to their new image model. kung napuna niyo, si marimar yun. yeah, that's what i wrote. i interviewed her kasi for--oops, reveal na ba? sige na nga. one of my latest writing assignments for mega magazine is their next month's cover story, featuring marian rivera. yeah, i did her. i mean, the interview, her cover story. so there. abangan sa march.

pero okay yung teaser ng sunsilk. showing women who were partly defined by their hair like madonna of course, saka si marilyn monroe. hm, following their logic, dapat anjan si macy gray, but i'm not sure if she is sunsilk material.

pero parang mas excited ako sa next cover story assignment ko for them. pero saka na lang yun. tignan natin how that goes. i hope pretty well.

*

dapat gagawa rin ako ng sulat sulat tonight pero tinatamad na naman ako. hay. saka na lang siguro, pag maluwag na ang chuva ng utak ko. the morning was spent having a word war with someone i always have word wars with. i'm just so fucking tired of it kaya i decided to severe the ties. i hope ma-gets niya ang point this time. hay, heaven help me with this.

*

buti na lang may nearby gym dito sa tinitirhan ko ngayon. at least i can go there and work out anytime to release whatever chorva's bothering me inside. and that's what i have been doing nga. since i also live near the marikina sports center, minsan doon ako naglalakad para iba naman ang atmosphere. sarap lang.

nami-miss ko lang mag-arnis though. fire, kelan na tayo? can't wait! miss ko na kayo ni teacher hehe.

*

hay nako. hello garci just got upgraded to broadband. hello zte?

my poor, poor country. run by fools i did not vote for. mierda.

*

kaya sumama na sa rally sa friday! taralets!

whoever could get a hold of those "moderate your greed" stickers, kunan niyo ko ng tatlo. go.


*

natatawa ako sa latest controversy na napasukan ni leah navarro of the black and white movement. salingan mode with kuya mike defensor's wifey, si pretty julie. hihihihihi.

naaalala ko nung nag-guest si leah sa angladlad meeting isang sabado last year to elucidate on what the bwmovement is all about and the chacha chenes. ang pilyang mga bading na kasama ko, nagbubulungan sa likod. pagkatapos mag-lecture, bulong namin "o dali, request na kayo ng isang song number. all together now: je t'aime/ te amo/ i love you/ watashiwa anato aishetemasu/..." hihihi . funny. true enough, kinanta naman niya iyon sa isang past pride march hihihi. we heart leah.

although weird yung dati kong encounter sa kanya eons ago sa isang clandestine meeting called artista para sa pagbabago. i was working for pinoy times newspaper and dahil mga ta-artits ang organizers nitong anti-erap group na ito right before his ouster, ako ang napadala ng dyaryo to attend. at the end of the meeting, i chatted some of them there, at isa nga siya doon. and i made the mistake of being nice when i bade her goodbye saying "thank you ma'am." she glared at me, glared pare, her eyebrows naging unibrow, and said "don't call me ma'am!" afraid siya ati. hindi ko makakalimutan iyon sa life ko pramis. that, and the encounter with kuh that same night, but that's another story.

*

UP Fair na pala. are you going? tinatamad na ko mula nang naging bentahan fare na lang ang UP fair. it's not the same as before. although i just go every year to test my shooting skills with the rifle pistol team shooting booth ek. pero mula nang nagka-salamin ang lola niyo, di ko na nape-perfect ang rounds nila kainiz. oh well. there's always the balloon darts.

and there's no more booze! kids today will not ever experience the thing that is called the sidewalk slammer. this is like a special 5-shot drink featuring 5 diff hard drinks, all for a whopping 25 pesos. them after drinking the shots, you fall sa sidewalk sa kalasingan o tama hehe. slam! therefore. you get the picture.

now, hanggang kettle corn at churros na lang mga tao. at isaw. weh.

pero parang gusto kong i-try ngayon ang powerup wall climbing chenes. kasi medyo lumiit na pwet ko e hehehe. conscious! oo naman noh. haha.

*

valentine's na. yet another holiday to signify the loss of money. buti na lang at hindi kami masyadong ek ng aking better half sa holiday na itich. we can make our own valentine time anytime hehe.

gawd, i could just imagine the traffic this weekend. hay.

pero puwede ring alternative ang ANGLADLAD BUTTERFLY BALL this saturday sa government bar sa makati ave. punta kayo. renewal chenes ito of angladlad memberships pero open to all pa rin ito. starts 9pm. see you there. i'll be there. sana may ka-date ako... (hint hint).

*

hmm, i miss eating lambchops. san ba may masarap nito? penge leads folks. naghahanap na naman ako ng comfort food ko. this means i am really bothered inside. yeah, it's like that sometimes. kaya nga sinalubong ko ng gym kanina e. para kung sakaling mapasubo sa pagkain ng unhealthy comfort food, handa na ang aking cellulite. chos.

let's hope after tuesday, okay na ko. please please.

*

dear god, senator chiz is a guest sa game show sa dos. jeezus.

no, i didn't vote for him. did you?

*

yehey kumpleto na ang aking AVENUE Q mp3s! yey! :)

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wow, may pinay westpointer graduate. pustahan tayo tibam yan hehe.

wala lang, naghahanap ng kakampi...

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parang kanina, while updating myself with abscbn soaps, i was chatting with my writer friend na head writer ng LOBO. we were talking kasi na yung badingerz nagtitilian daw tuwing topless si papa piolo, kaya dagdagan daw, request nila. i told her naman "magkakaroon ba ng lesbyanang lobo? hehe." natawa sya at sabi "why not?" sabi ko baka ligwakin ng mga lolang kloseta doon hahahaha. afraid sila sa sarili kasi doon e hahahahaha charot! :P

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tune out na.

update on carol + thoughts of the thinking

thanks to all those who responded to the emergency situation of our friend carol. we're happy to report that she is okay and safe now, away from the trouble spot. let's keep on praying for her protection. she appreciates it very much.

was with her brother earlier, my writer friend omeng, when he relayed the news. hay buti naman. i'm glad.

some thoughts produced during this whole scenario made me rethink of some life goals, views on art, the media, and human behavior in general.

you really learn something new everyday, and produce an original insight alongside of it.

yet again, ambivalent reactions on the media, and some old and lingering conclusions have been proven right time and time again.

same with elections in the philippines. sometimes i ask myself: why even bother? but i know deep down that i should bother. hence the ugly-blotched index finger nail.

i have been apathetic for the past 2 elections simply because i think the political system in the country is a running farce of epic proportions. i have been voting a long time but i dont know what happens to the people i vote for. at least i a glad that in marikina where i am registered, my vote counts for something, and the people i vote for actually do something for the city.

as for the national elections? blah. parang showbiz ang politics -- KA-CHEAP-AN. sa totoo lang.

the local scenario is what got carol into trouble. same material of fraud and other bad things by bad people, documented by good and caring citizens. have you seen the videos and photos being sent by people all over the country about a kind of election fraud or other. national ito ha. as in. creatively photoshopped fake comelec memos, disappearing indelible ink, vote buying, the works. creative ngayong year ang mga pinoy, in fairness.

syempre the red-baiting, red-tagging and all that are still on. my friend teta's name disappeared from the voter's list just because. hay naku. hay naku talaga.

dumating at natapos ang eleksyon, ang pinaghirapan kong pilahang voter's id last year ay ni di ko man lang nasilayan. nunca. ganda.

browsing through the ballot, sarap gumawa ng "asa ka pa" list of election hopefuls. para mag-vent lang ng asar ba. comme ca:

ASA KA PA..richard gomez! hindi showbiz career move ang politics. try ka pa sa MAD dati eh hello. mamamayan ayaw sa droga pala ha. baka mamamayan ayaw sa dumdum. bow. magbasa ka muna ng mga libro.

ASA KA PA...manny pacquiao! nagkakamal ka na ng medalya at pera sa boxing. ano ang alam mong gawin sa pulitika? sabagay jaworski...and...dami pa... laro na lang kayo. sparring. saya pa. may pustahan.

ASA KA PA...cesar montano! no matter how smart you present yourself in debates, the thing is, kung walang script, wala ka rin. gawa ka na lang pelikula. mas okay yun e. hollywood actor ka na di ba mwahahaha.

ASA KA PA...tessie aquino oreta! binoto siya ng nanay ko at sabi ko bahkettttt? sabi niya, kasi marami daw bills chuva na in-author/na-pass chuva siya para sa kababaihan. ang alam ko,wala siya sa anti-vawc. pero regardless, the dancing queen image sticks. like glue.

ASA KA PA...victor wood! ... (self-explanatory)

ASA KA PA...prospero pichay! kung sinuman ang gumawa ng media campaign mo, tsugiin mo na. the gulay angle doesn't work in any way, man. itanim si pichay sa senado. nubaaaaaaaaaaah! hindi siya witty! ever! kainis.

ano na nga ba yung sinabi ko about politics?

hay naku. why do we bother!

but this time nga, like i said before, my vote is the pink vote. and i wanted that to matter. hay... i hope it works.

wish us all luck. this country badly needs it.

tumatakas sa stress ng araw na ito

ito ang kinaka-stress naming lahat ngayon: balita tungkol sa kaibigan naming si carol.

Pinikpikan singer claims mayor threatened her

May 14, 2007
Frank Cimatu

BANGUED, Abra -- The lead vocalist of the band Pinikpikan accused the former mayor of Daguioman town of threatening her after she took video footage of alleged cheating.

Carol Bello, who is a poll watcher of Daguioman mayoral candidate Lyndon Basingan, claimed former mayor Manuel Co Kue, husband of incumbent Mayor Sally Co Kue, told her she would not be leave Daguioman alive after videotaping alleged ballot tampering.

"Ako raw ay di makakalabas sa Daguioman nang buhay dahil may photo at video ako ng kalokohan ng mayor and her family [I was told I would not be able to leave Daguioman alive because I have photographs and video footage of irregularities committed by the mayor and her family]," Bello told the Philippine Daily Inquirer, parent company of INQUIRER.net.

read the rest of frank cimatu's pdi report here.

eto pa ang detalye sa abs-cbn website. thanks melissa for acting on that so swiftly.

kanina pa nagte-text-an kaming magkakaibigan para matulungan siya. but what else can we do??? punyeta talaga.

kanina pa tumatawag si cynthia a. din sa akin, telling me this is like teta's all over again last year. i agreed. she's now in conspiracy with budeths, carol's co-pinikpikan bandmate, worried to death -- as we all are.

now, we're all stressed. as in.


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tangina mukha akong gago. napa-blogthang tuloy ako. wala ko magawa tangina.

hirap ng ganito. hay naku...


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Your Seduction Style: Ideal Lover

You seduce people by tapping into their dreams and desires. And because of this sensitivity, you can be the ideal lover for anyone you seek. You are a shapeshifter - bringing romance, adventure, spirituality to relationships. It all depends on who your with, and what their vision of a perfect relationship is.

What Is Your Seduction Style?

Your Kissing Technique Is: Perfect

Your kissing technique is amazing - and you know it. You have the confidence to make the first move. And you always seem to know what kissing style is going to work best. Sometimes you're passionate, sometimes you're a tease. And you're always amazing!

Are You a Good Kisser?

You Are a Coy Flirt

You may not seem like you're flirting, but you know exactly what you're doing. You draw people in, very calculatingly, without them even knowing. Subtle and understated, you know how to best leverage your sex appeal. A sexy enigma, you easily become an object of obsession.

What Kind of Flirt Are You?

partypooped

just finished browsing the list of partylist nominees eklat and i must say, filipinos have a creative way of naming partylists, or giving meanings to acronyms. i should know kasi minsan, hobby ko yan :P tulad ng, kung magtatayo ako ng sarili kong partylist for congress, ang buong title ay "Progresibong Unyon ng mga Kababaihang Inietsapuwera" or in short, PUKI.

for instance, check out the actual partylists that the stupid comelec approved:

Action for Teacher Empowerment through Action Cooperation and Harmony Towards Educational Reforms ( A TEACHER )

o ha, halatang mga guro nga ang gumawa nito, gurong di na lumabas sa akademya at kasalukuyan nang naaagnas doon, just like some people we know.... it's just so intellectually boring.

eto sapok:
Advocates for Special Children and the Handicapped Movement (ASAHAN MO)

ayuz. aasahan mo nga, kasi handicapped. hm. saka special children. hm. siya sige...

Alyansa ng mga Grupong Haligi ng Teknolohiya para sa Mamamayan (AGHAM)

hm, halatang mga scientist nga ang gumawa nito ano? parang they though too much.

eto nakakatuwa. slight appropriate ang meaning sa acronym.

Alliance of Associations of Accredited Workers in the Water Sector (AAWAS)

tama, kung tubig nga yan, aawas nga yan pag napuno ang lalagyan. ayuz.

Alyansa ng Mamamayang Naghihirap (ALMANA)

tama, kung naghihirap kang mamamayan ng bansang ito, it's about time na umalma ka na.

Pwersa ng Bayaning Atleta (PBA)

hm, but does this mean pro-basketball lang sila? how about other sports?

eto just plain scary lang. PLEASE WATCH OUT, AND DO NOT VOTE FOR THESE GROUPS SANA:

Alliance of Neo-Conservatives (ANC)

Buhay Hayaan Yumabong (BUHAY)

anything with the tag of "conservative" dapat iwasan, lalo na ng people from the margins, kasama na doon ang kababaihan, dahil sa ipangangalandakan na naman nila ang kanilang outmoded and outdated morality sa atin. pero to have "neo-conservatives" in the label, ay that takes the cake. so waers.

yung buhay naman, i never knew what they were about, until i chanced upon a poster on the street, and the image disturbed me. it was like an unborn child. may initial haka-haka na ako until i was validated by their tv ad i saw kanina. loren legarda and chiz escudero were promoting BUHAY, and their speech said something about protection of the unborn child.

anybody who speaks of protecting the "unborn" without ever meeting a woman who was violated, raped and impregnated by rape could not even fathom the horrors that this experience imprints on a woman's psyche, and then having her live through it again day in and day out every single minute for nine freaking months until the unborn is born. if that thing happened to their wives, lolas, daughters, sisters -- to be raped and get pregnant because of it -- do you think they will still harp about the rights of the unborn? what about the rights of the living, the grief she encountered? doesn't that count?

kaya huwag na huwag nilang ipangangalandakan ang mga unborn rights na iyan hangga't di nila naiintindihan ang ma-rape at magbuntis. it's obviously pro-life. but whose life are you protecting, and whose life are you continuing to destroy? think about it.

hay, iboboto ko sana yung dalawang yun sa senado, si loren (dahil sa tinutulungan niya ang masscomm sa mga rehabilitation projects) at si chiz (kasi parang palaban siya na progresibo) pero dahil sa may stand silang ganito, i don't think they will serve and listen to the people that really matter. so nabawasan na ko ng senatorial bets. shet, sino na lang? hm...

pero the scariest of all is this, not to mention haller ang acronym at name:

The True Marcos Loyalist Association Inc. (BANTAY)

bakit scary? kasi ANG NUMBER ONE CANDIDATE NILA AY SI MAJOR JOVITO PALPARAN. yes, ang tinaguriang berdugo ng southern tagalog and all those places. kaya iwas dito, kung gusto niyong ipagpatuloy ang human rights enjoyment ninyo.

eto parang ganito ang brainstorming "wow sige ganda ng word na yan for our acronym, isipan natin ng meaning" and ito ang resulta:

Ang Bagong Bayan na Magtataguyod ng Demokratikong Ideolohiya at Layunin (BANDILA)
Barangay Association for National Advancement and Transparency (BANAT)
Democratic Independent Workers Association (DIWA)
Ang Samahan sng mga Mangangalakal para sa Ikauunlad ng Lokal na Ekonomiya (A SMILE)

kaloka yung a smile... chummy na ewan.

eto kakaiba. parang they were working on building some irony kaya? hmm. sampol:
Hanay ng Aping Pinoy (HAPI)
Kapatiran ng mga Kulong na Walang Sala (KAKUSA)
You Against Corruption and Poverty (YACAP)

okay sige, yung mga api kanina, aalma. pero ito, ang interpretation nila ng api, hapi/masaya? hm.

tapos ate, kung wala talagang sala ang nakakulong na yan, hindi yata magandang pakinggan na kakosa ang partylist nila ano...

lost ako sa yacap. ano yun, i (kasi you daw) will embrace corruption and poverty? hm...

eto gusto mo itanong, with a konyo college accent "uh, what it is?" :

Parents Enabling Parents (PEP)

lost ako sa kanila. ewan.

read the whole list of partylists here, complete with the nominees' names na pinakatatago-tago ng gubyerno dahil sa haller, front lang nila ang karamihan dito!

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so saan na tayo pupulutin nito sa mayo katorse? ngayong ayaw pa ring payagan ng punyetang homophobic comelec ang ANGLADLAD dahil sabi nila e hindi daw marginalized ang mga bakla't tomboy at di ganon kadami ang mga bakla't tomboy sa buong pilipinas to create a national coalition ek, doon na tayo sa original partylist na simula't sapul e nagtaguyod ng filing ng anti-discrimination bill which will recognize the rights of lesbians, gays, bisexual and trans people in the country, that we are people who also need protection from discrimination in the workplace, in public spaces, and in all spaces.

dito na tayo.

angladlad's partylist rep, danton remoto, is running as a congressman of the 3rd district of qc, where i live. too bad i can't vote for him because i am still a registered voter of marikina.

but to tell you the truth, i wasn't really happy with the way the org is going. sana nag-defer na lang siya to run next time. bakit parang nagkukumahog?

pero ang mas di ako happy ay ang pag-iiba ng strategy. dahil kung susundin naman talaga ang boto ng org, lesbiyana dapat ang number one representative nito, dahil ito ang officially na lumabas sa ranking. tanong ko lang, why do we always have to give way to the gay guys? hay, doble-doble talaga...

anyway, that's just my two cents on that matter. take it or leave it.

kaya keri na ko sa akbayan ulit. ever since naman e, sila na binoboto ko. kasi sila lang ang may klarong lgbt advocacy sa platform nila.

at ang bakla lang ng poster:

sa botohan kasi, mas nauuna ang concerns ko sa pagiging lesbiyana, dahil tanggalin man ang ibang labels ng pagkatao ko --titser, filmmaker, writer, artist -- iyon ang label na di matatangal kahit saan pa namn ako magpunta, kahit mag-migrate pa ako at mapalitan ang aking nationality (ayun, natanggal din ang label ng pilipino). aanhin ko ang kababaihan partylist gayong hindi naman sinusuportahan ng lahat ng kababaihan, kahit na peminista pa sila, ang concerns ng mga lesbiyana. aanhin ko rin ang partylist para sa bayan gayong masyadong blanket ang pagtingin sa lahat? not to mention na pugad din ng mga sexist at homophobic people minsan ang ilang asosasyong bayan ang pinangangalandakang tinataguyod. aber, paano niyo nga sasagutin ang concern ng bayan gayong ang concern ng mamamayan ng bayan na ito ay di niyo maprotektahan sa mga miyembro ninyong sexist at homophibic? sige nga. ipokrito ang tawag diyan minsan.