tung of the orient

tama na naman ang stars.  laging ganun.

It may be unclear as to how much emphasis you should place on your feelings now, for they could interfere with your goals. But the truth is that you may have also grown unsure of your long-range plans. Focus less on your destination and more on being in the present moment. Your clarity will return in a few days

di ba?

sa dalawa ba namang orientation na in-attend-an ko this week, talagang mapapaisip ka sa gusto mong tahakin in the long run. academe or mainstream? that is the question. whether 'tis nobler in the minds to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune... or something to that effect.

kung kailan naman ako naprente na sa academe at inisip na tahakin ang simple at tahimik na buhay sa loob ng kaalaman at karunungan... bigla akong kakalabitin ng pamilyar na hatak ng mainstream media at ise-seduce ako ng magandang posisyon at magandang bayad, tulad ng dati. ilang beses nang nangyari ito sa akin. bakit kaya?

at eto na naman siya... hay.

bahala na si batman sa mga susunod na mangyayari. basta masaya pa ko at nakakahinga, ayos lang. yun naman ang importante e.

*

orientation ng gma7 kanina for new hirees. okay naman, insightful. unduly attention nga lang from howie severino who turned out to be the training officer of the network. nakilala niya ko from way back in 2001 when we first met sa probe media foundation's mekong workshop. nabuko tuloy ang writing life ko hehe. anyway ayos lang yun. very flattering in a way.

nakakatuwang makinig sa starting out stories ng network. sobrang iba talaga ang kultura dito at sa kabila. tama pa rin ang gut feel -- wala talagang inherent yabang sa mga tao dito ulike sa kabila. kaya nga nung nag-work ako sa abscbn foundation writing children's show scripts, talagang nagulat ako sa mga tao doon. sabi ko nga "talaga bang taga-dos kayo?" kasi iba ang kultura...that is, until i met the creative panel committee ek that sentences our scripts.  andun ang mga epal. and then it dawned on us, "ay, dos nga ito." hehe.

unassuming. that's the word for these kapuso peeps. sobrang down to earth lang. yun nga yung ek nila kanina e. sabi nga nila, baka di namin nakikilala yung mga bosing na nakakasalubong na pala sa corridor o elevator. true enough, the head honcho of news and public affairs is like that. unlike sa kabila na pag lumakad sila, kahit around the cubicles lang sa newsroom, kala mo may santa cruzan at sila ang reyna elena sa pag-project. i kid you not. syempre former boss ko ang isa sa kanila no hehe...

ah finally pala, nakilala ko si ederic in person. he's with the research team pala. hehe.  after all these years, chong! nakita ko din fez mo! maganda nga yung quicksearch. nagamit ko na yun dati. kewl.

*

kahapon naman, orientation ng diliman new faculty hirees. as if new ako, pero walang ganyan last year so go ako at si mon at patrick.  kami lang naman e. well, patrick is this year lang while mon and me last year pa.

interesting naman although i almost missed it. i woke up late and when i arrived, the chancellor was giving his shpluk. di ko nakita yung ibang masscomm profs until lunchtime.  masaya naman when i did. pinky of broadcomm agreed with my comment sa open forum. the chancellor talked about the camps policies regarding sexual harassment and of course, having this kind of experience recently (see older posts), i asked my question. so much emphasis was given on whether faculty are the ones doing the harassment. i asked the chancellor what if it was the other way around? vice prez for community affairs who's a lawyer commented na it's just the same so if anybody receives harassment from a student, we can file a case.

T I N G !

the lightbulb was turned on in my mind, so let's see. not another harassment suit! just a few weeks ago, a writer friend of mine made hain her case against this pervert prof. tricky sa akin kasi nga, like i told mon, i have an admin position. lest i be accused of powerplay/powertripping (familiar plot pattern? hello DISCLOSURE ikaw ba yan? di ko feel na demi moore akesh). sabi nga ni mon, "sino ba yan? upakan na lang natin."  hahahah. sweet mon. yan ang chokaran! go astro!

pero hindi na. it's just a waste of time and energy. i believe in karmic retribution and the cosmos hasn't failed me yet in this aspect. so all i have to do is sit and do nothing... and let nature take its course. and be gorgeous while doing that. :P

*

well, all i can say now is that i have a good balance of both (methinks!0!. although advise nga ng friend ko na suffer ang lovelife sa ganito (dahil binabalak ko pang mag-MA thesis this year, hello ako di ba? kalbaryo thy name is bayli), hmmm, napapaisip tuloy ako... suffer na nga ever e, kaya let go na lang daw of one. hmmmm, but which?

abangan.

3 months later + 37 years past

this homophile would like to greet everyone a HAPPY PRIDE! month to all lesbians, gays, bisexuals, transgenders, transsexuals, transvestites, queers, downes, intersexed persons, questioning ones, bi-curious peeps, everyone! kung sino pa man kayo, hapi hapi!

sabi nga ni sir nic when i was delivering my faculty colloquium last january, "shucks, saang kategorya kaya ako belong?"

hehehe. pramis to god sinabi niya yan.

ah sosyal, may wikipedia entry si sir hehe. fans club!

anyway, back to pride.  today, june 27, marked the stonewall riots which is a significant event in the history of the lgbtqietcetc movement. 37 years ago, or 1969. what an appropriate year, eh? '69. sosyal.

and less than a month from that date, humans take a first trip to land on the moon. exciting dibala?

me at qc morato pride march 2004


i'm just blogging about this because i miss june pride celebs. when i first came out in '97, i saw my first pride march in malate, complete with a fashion show run by this gay dude na sosyal who ran a resto and used to rule nakpil's bohemian crowd (well, back when truly bohemian pa ang feel ng malate, unlike today), a program that showcased lgbt pride talents, and some girl hitting on me hehe (turned her down, chakaness sya eh - haha ambadko!). 


me at the last malate pride march, 2001 yata


task force pride decided to hilera pride march sa human rights week sa december kaya medyo delayed ito. dedma na sa ulan, mas bet ko ang june pride celebs kasi. saka sa malate, not in quezon city.

my friend in new york just emailed me her photos of the new york pride there. ang saya! kung may bibisitahin man akong event sa lifetime na ito, tatlo yun: pride marches sa new york, sa rio de janeiro at sa bangkok. sayang at i missed the pride in bkk years ago (arrived a week late! tangah). i don't think i can share her photos here pero masaya sha ever. wow. i heart noo yawk.

last weekend, malate's gay guys organized the annual white party where everyone, yeah, wears white talaga. i don't like white party weekends because it's just full of guys scouting for hadas. in white. lesbians don't have that. unfair noh? can't we have like an orange party weekend or something?

well, i was in malate nonetheless last friday, the white party kick-off pero hindi talaga. nagdedekorasyon na sila. there was a new lesbian exclusive dance party in a place i haven't heard of yet so my friends and i decided to check it out.

waaah. not so happy.

anyway, pambawi na lang yung the l word night this friday. that's where i'm gonna be. sana naman masaya ito. kung di nga lang donasyon sa isang breast cancer foundation ang proceeds at open bar, i won't go! but some of my friends will be there so i'll be there. kitakits!

but just to clarify, being proud doesn't necessarily have to translate to being out. people should respect closeted people because things are too risky for them. the usual culprits apply -- family, parents, job/careers. yun lang naman e.

pero masaya rin naman ang maging out. at least hindi na nila ko bina-bother ng stupid leading/loaded questions like "bakit wala ka pang asawa?"

pero minsan din, may down side. yung mga dating kumakausap sa yo ng matino, hindi ka na pinapansin. akala nila, porke lesbyana, manhater kaya iwas ang mhin. o kaya instant na may gusto ang lesbyana sa gelay, kahit sinu pa mang gelay yan. hello we have standards, and they are oh so high, too, ya know. yuck kayo. feeling. namimili rin naman kami noh. feeling talaga. daming ganyan. kala nila hahawakan ko sila agad or something. ick. sabi nga ng friend ko dati, "no touch. not with a ten foot pole."

word.

oh, as for the 3 months, well, ni-renew ako ng kapuso. so that means 3 more months of the directing gig. hay goodbye lablayp, goodbye sekslayp. hehe. for now. vow of chastity ang lola niyo.

wishing. :)

personal adverts +survey thoughts on a deadly sin

i know this is like months late but nonetheless, here goes.

i want to thank all those women loving women who participated in my informal survey earlier this year about flings. the material i gathered fueled two articles that are out now in the following publications:

GENERATION PINK or GP magazine, available everywhere. get the summer issue (cover with the dude painted like the sun or something to that effect). article's about lesbian flings and dating. yeah, it's that other lgbt magazine around, the more susbtantial one. :P peace to my friends in that other mag! i mean you no harm. just, er, some words of advise. more content po?

WOMEN IN ACTION magazine by isis international manila. available in their office. follow the link na lang. look for the queering issue. this article's more okay for me since it tackled 'forcible homonormativity and the truly free lesbian existence' (yeah, say that ten times!). as in, talaga bagang awayin ang lez-bi community dito? hehe. wala lang, just posing some thoughts out loud, is all. search for that title, online na nga rin pala ang WIA. ay okay wait,  here's the article.

read! feed your mind. and give me feedback.

*

for weeks now, i've been contemplating on other actions and articles. this time, i want to focus on lust and sex naman. like, would you have sex with someone na you don't find, er, lustful naman? or something to that effect. i know this doesn't work on men since straight men think about sex every 26 seconds and gay men every 9 seconds daw (according to QAF). it's a different thing for women. once a woman is turned on, man, wahoo, kakaiba. andaming puwedeng puntahan. pero dapat nga likes mo rin siya, di ba? o kaya may konting substance influence (take your pick). tapos pag nawala yung turned on thing, ang hirap ibalik. unless nympho siguro yung gelay. i dunno.

pero yun nga. what if you are a woman and you wanna have sex with a woman din kaya lang hindi siya within your radar of wants (read: di mo type). those who have one night stands don't seem to have this problem, especially in the U.S. but i wanna know what others think, here. posible ba to sa 'pinas?

so bilis! sagot na kayo.

para kay o - bati pa rin kita :) + some notes on lesbian feminism

para kay o na nabagabag sa aking sinulat noong isang araw:

pasensiya na rin at hihingi rin ako ng taos-pusong paumanhin kung masyadong mapusok sa pandinig ang naisulat ko noong isang gabi. wari'y bagung-bago pa lang sa kaisipan ko at damdamin ang mga pangyayaring naganap sa gabing tinutukoy ko kaya marami rin akong naisulat na tila di maganda. totoo ka, medyo iba ang dating sa aking pandinig ng iyong sinabi, pero siguro dala na rin ito marahil ng alab ng pag-iisip ko noong gabing iyon dahilan nga sa muli kong aksidenteng pakikisalamuha sa multong di ko na nais pa mang masilayan. di ko sinadyang maliitin ka o ang iyong sinabi. wala nga marahil sa konteksto ang pag-intindi ko nito. mabuti na lamang at naliwanagan mo ako. tanggap ko ang iyong pagpapaumanhin at sana'y tanggapin mo rin ang sa akin.

iba nga talaga marahil kapag pagkababae na ng isang babae ang nasasalanta -- tagos sa laman, tagos sa dugo, tagos sa isipan. ito siguro ang eksperyensiyang di kailanman maiintindihan ng mga lalaki. awtomatikong nagdidilim ang paningin ng babaeng niyuyurakan ng dangal, pagkatao at pagkababae -- at nakakalimot sa lahat ng tino at kalma. kaya paumanhin rin.

salamat sa patuloy na pagbabasa. at bati tayo ha. :) patuloy pa rin ako sa pagsuporta sa inyong mga adhikain at aktibidades. sabi nga sa mga lumang pelikula "siyang tunay."

*

i am reminded by all these of an episode on THE L WORD season 2 where bisexual writer jenny and lesbian heartthrob shane had a housemate who's a guy and a filmmaker. he hooked up hidden cams all over the house and filmed the girls' lesbian lives. soon enough, jenny discovered the scam and confronted the guy. while it might have appeared iffy and squeamish the first time i watched this (because i initially didn't like mia kirshner's take on the jenny character -- or maybe it was bad directing), going over the whole 3 seasons of the show last summer (to psyche me up in my lesbian-themed novel writing endeavor) made me appreciate mia's subtle style of acting na (yea, now i'm seeing it from the craft point of view, as a director).

and of course the dialogues given are the lines i have often repeated to others when it comes to issues of sexual harassment.

Jenny: "Do you have any sisters?"

Mark: "Yes, I have two younger sisters."

Jenny: "Okay. I want you to ask them a question. And the most important thing is that you really listen to their answer. I want you to ask your sisters about the very first time that they were intruded upon by some man or a boy."

Mark: "What makes you think that my sisters have been intruded upon?"

Jenny: "Because there isn't a single girl or woman in this world that hasn't been intruded upon, and sometimes it's relatively benign, and sometimes it's so fucking painful. But you have no idea what this feels like."

di ba? tama siya e. an eye for an eye kaya ang approach. e paano kung nanay mo yun, sister mo yun, anak mo yung na-harass? panu na? do unto others and all that karmic retribution blah.

that's basically it. men have no idea what it feels like. kaya gustong-gusto ko rin yung kanta ni madonna na "what it feels like for a girl." while i don't think these two women are trying hard to be feminists, the fact that they said these things make them automatic feminists in their own right... because i believe feminism is just that -- standing up to claim your rights to live a life that's secure, happy and free,  and without fear of any kind.

"What It feels Like For A Girl"

[Spoken:] Girls can wear jeans
And cut their hair short
Wear shirts and boots
'Cause it's OK to be a boy
But for a boy to look like a girl is degrading
'Cause you think that being a girl is degrading
But secretly you'd love to know what it's like
Wouldn't you
What it feels like for a girl

Silky smooth
Lips as sweet as candy, baby
Tight blue jeans
Skin that shows in patches

Strong inside but you don't know it
Good little girls they never show it
When you open up your mouth to speak
Could you be a little weak

Do you know what it feels like for a girl
Do you know what it feels like in this world
For a girl

Hair that twirls on finger tips so gently, baby
Hands that rest on jutting hips repenting
Hurt that's not supposed to show
And tears that fall when no one knows
When you're trying hard to be your best
Could you be a little less

Do you know what it feels like for a girl
Do you know what it feels like in this world
What it feels like for a girl

Strong inside but you don't know it
Good little girls they never show it
When you open up your mouth to speak
Could you be a little weak

Do you know what it feels like for a girl
Do you know what it feels like in this world
For a girl
In this world

Do you know
 Do you know
Do you know what it feels like for a girl
What it feels like in this world

amen to that, lola madonna. amen to that.

*

it's strange and weird enough as it is for women. what about women who love women pa? aye, there's the rub, 'ika nga ni shakespeare.

naaalala ko yung isang patawa ng ilang participants dati sa Asian Lesbian Networking conference na in-attend-an ko during the late '90s. we were talking about the levels of marginalization filipinas experience. sabi nga doon, "e babae ka na tapos lesbiyana ka pa, tapos poor ka pa, tapos disabled ka pa." sige, pagsama-samahin na ang lahat ng marginalization sa sangkatauhan. sabi nga namin, "ay kawawa naman" sabay tawa.

laughing at ourselves like that doesn't hurt sometimes.  pero sadly, totoo pa rin itong patung-patong na marginalization na nagyayari. kaya mapapaisip ka pa rin talaga sa lagay ng mga bagay-bagay sa patriyarkal na lipunang ito e. hay.

oh well. siya, tama na muna ang mga muni-muning ito at manananghalian muna ako.

pero salamat sa mga komento ha. sulat lang kayo ulit kung nais niyong makisali sa talakayan dito.

facing phantoms

from out of nowhere, my grade 6 best friend cheryl emails me and says that she met a couple of our batchmates and didn't recognize them and that they put up a yahoogroup. i decided to check it out.

it was just strange because it brought back memories that i really didn't want to remember. i never enjoyed grade school as much as high school. it was such a disaster. people picked on me most of the time and even bullied me (yea, think MEAN GIRLS circa mid-80s). it was just horrible. and then to see their pictures now.

man, how time flies. they look so old. so darn old that you'd never guess we're the same age! of course most of them married na at may anak much like my high school friends. pero mas close naman ako sa high school friends ko. in fact, we're having a grand time sa yahoogroups lately dahil nadidiskubre namin kung nasaan ang isa't isa like my future surf pal jay and miss saigoner luz sa ny, si carla sa calgary, nomer sa saudi, kai and chiqui and edna in um somewhere sa gitna ng US and then the others in good ol' marikina, except for us pasaways na nasa qc na like me, arca, cho and trixie.

man, i checked out the photos of my grade school batchmates and discovered na nagkikita-kita rin pala sila minsan. but i think my mind rebooted and deleted all the bad memories of grade school along with the people's faces kaya kokonti lang ang kilala ko doon. yung iba kasi, nag-iba na talaga totally ng hitsura kaya di ko na makilala. oh well. i don't think i want to reconnect with these people. hm... depende siguro sa mood. pero ito, kelangan talagang paghandaan, lam mo yun? tipong ROMY AND MICHELLE part 2 ito pag nagkataon hehe.

hay naku. weird lang kasi i saw one picture of this girl who used to bully me all the time. i had a unique wristwatch back then na may dice game, galing japan bili ni papa. she used to borrow it oh so sweetly lang sa pangungulit. pag kukunin ko na, tangina pa sa demonyo ang pagkamkam doon at halos di na niya ibalik ulit. at galit pa siya pag binalik niya! lam mo yun? hay. i don't think i want to come face to face with these people. yeah, 20 years ago na yun pero minsan weird talaga ang subconscious... o baka ako lang yun. oh well.

*

last night, i also faced another phantom, this time for real. i was happily eating my dinner in a resto where i'm watching a program with my friends when suddenly, i saw this guy who has given me the creeps last semester. he's my classmate in one of my penalty MA subjects. this creep kept on looking at me, like every minute, man. na-harrass na talaga ako ng todo. i asked my friend one time to observe this guy with me outside the classroom and true enough, masama talaga syang makatingin, sabi ng friend ko.

well, last night, my friend was with me there and i told her yun yung guy! we confirmed the identity of the guy from one of the people who organized the program and indeed, ito nga si el creepo. kinausap naman ni organizer si el creepo and she told me pa nga na the fart wanted to apologize in person daw, so i granted him an audience. pero wala rin e. he's still a creep. he had such lousy excuses for his behavior and i don't buy it. (weird lang daw siya talagang tao, minsan daw mahilig siyang tumingin at tumitig sa kung-anu-ano, like sa aircon. hello, kung aircon ang tinitignan niya sa likod niya at hindi ako, bakit eyeline match ang anggulo ng mata namin? at hindi siya naka-tilt ng 15 degrees higher up pa para makita talaga ang aircon sa taas tangna) it turns out this is not the first time pala he got into trouble because he was looking at someone. muntik na daw siyang mapaawa noon kasi tumitingin sa sa babae at lalaki. hah. good thing we were in such a public place last night kundi nasapak ko siya talaga between the eyes. literally. idagdag niya yun sa listahan niya.

what's so fucked up pa about that was someone commenting na di siya makapaniwala na el creepo would do that kasi he already has a kid. as if single men are the only kind of harrassers in the world ng mga babae. man, what a heterosexist thing to say, n'est-ce pas? vrai. and one more thing: el creepo belongs to a progressive group pa pala. tingnan nga natin kung may tunay na kamulatan yan sa buhay. tipong wala. advocacy shallowness thy name is el creepo. daming katulad niya, sampu sampera saan mang movement. magsama silang lahat.

wag lang makadaan-daan yang el creepo na yan ulit sa harap ko at baka masapak ko na yan talaga this time. i swear.

*

just to end this on a different note. i don't want phantoms to come with me to bed so i'll leave them all here.

and i like this friendster thing from jay:

What's ur birth month?

January- Gothic
February- Preppy
March- Horny
April- adorable
May- Stupid
June- Kinky
July- Popular
August- Talkative
September- Beautiful
October- Pretty
November- Nerdy
December- Kissable

What day is ur birthday?

1- Beauty Queen
2- princess
3- Ninja
4- Actor/Actress
5- Power-Ranger
6- Gay
7- model
8- Crack-Trash
9- Dog
10- Candy Cane
11- Caution Freak
12- Angel
13- Irish Girl
14- Sex Maniac
15- Punk
16- Alcoholic
17- Teacher's Pet
18- Stoner
19- Pirate
20- Fairy
21- sexy beast
22- Surfer
23- Piece of Pizza
24- Hottie
25- Druggie
26- Drama Queen
27- Surgeon
28- Poser
29- Rockstar
30- Hooker
31- Care Bear

What color is your hair?

blonde=Who's sexually frustrated
brown=Who's great in bed
dirty blonde=Who is greatly frustrated
black=Who needs a life
red=Who loves to ride emus
pink=who loves to make out.


Now repost this saying "Im a _ _ _"

okay, so i'm an adorable hottie who's great in bed! hehehe.

i like that.

ikaw, ano ka? lista mo, bilis!

bloggy day!

swak na naman ang stars:

You tend toward mental inflation today. No matter what you hear, you transform it into something bigger. If someone tries too hard to change your mind, you might just let them know what you think. Your temper could flare, but it could also turn out beneficial for you once others know exactly where you stand.

di ba? and this was for yesterday, friday. so so apt.

pero eto ba totooh? para ngayon naman ito.

Your feet are being held to the fire, but you are already plotting your escape. Your antenna is extended and you are scanning the dial for some action. Sure, this might be a total distraction from what you should be doing, but you Bulls just want to have some fun now. It's okay to play today; your work will still be there when you return.

di yata ako makapaniwala. sabagay, if you call blogging play...

*

hay haggard is right. mental chorva? marami nun this weekend. two-week special ang anniversary show ng LOVELY DAY kaya we're all haggard to the bone. as in.

oh, lest i forget, watch niyo naman. it's every SATURDAY 10AM GMA7. watch watch watch lovely day.

share ko pix:


"ate, artista ka ba?"

si cres, our exec prod (EP), at awla pang tulog yang lagay na yan ha. siya may pakana ng lahat ng ito hehe.



unit cres

pinaghatian naming idirek ang anniv episode na ito, kundi pinaglalamayan niyo na ko ngayon.  madugo siya kasi walang segments!  the show kasi is a mixed genre of docu and fiction, fiction yung dinidirek ko (spiels, which ties the whole story together and is like 60percent of the show) then one segment producer is in charge of putting their own segments together (3 segments each show) which they put in the story.  man, imagine carrying the whole load! and with such an ambitious concept! script written by hech.

hm.. me, cres, hech. conconistas show pala ini! hehe. mga dating magkakabahay sa naranghita halfwayhouse for film majors. ah, those were the days.



trailer

a mobile home trailer na parang home away from home, literal. for the hosts and guests. and us. but i didn't go in during the shoot dahil mabibiyak ang ulo ko sa palit ng lamig ng aircon nito at init sa labas. suicide ang tawag don.



normal van

si shao, our segment prod who also writes the spiels scripts, is my asst dir for this gig.

iniwan kami ng ng van na ito, for some apparent reason na di ko na inaalam pa (let the prods take care of this). kaya i ended up riding that gma elf truck that carries the dolly equipment, nyeta, kasama si cres and some of our guys in the crew. sakit sa likod tangina



abnormal van

the other service van. i hate riding these ones na may balot ng isang primetime show.  it attracts unnecessary attention plus i can't see a darn thing from the inside dahil natakpan ang windows.



redhead monster

this is so eerie cool. may malalaking insekto na dumapo sa mga ilaw. no, not gamu-gamo, pero talagang ang lalaki! half your thumb size. i tried to photograph it but this is what appeared. kakaiba!



channeling the directing mantra...

which is this song by elton john "don't let the sun...go down on me..." dahil ang show ay dapat daylight hours lang shoot dahil daytime show siya. (oo, may ganun pala, now ko lang din nalaman)



o mamamiya mamamiya...

pauline, the 12 year old newbie who looks like she's already 19. anak ng friend ni cres na taga-marketing dept. puro newbies and non-celebs ang kinukuha usualy for this show (kasi walang budget for star guestings hehe).



light my fire take

kuya lawrence in red, super in-demand lighting guy sa gma. galing kasi, bait at parang kuya kapag nag-a-advice ng lighting approaches.



  tung sa tanay hehe

ngayon lang ako nakaating sa daranak falls. ayos naman, although not breathtaking, lam mo yun? i wonder why... siguro kasi medyo komersyal na ang kapaligiran, unlike when you have to kinda hike a bit and end at some relatively unknown falls structure somewhere in a non-commerical area, like that one i visited eons ago in laguna and the one my tung friends and i visited within samal island in davao. that was swell.


hello jet li ikaw ba yan?

i'm glad i didn't have to shoot these action sequences. i'm not a fight enthusiast so the magic-magic special effects part will do. yea, kasi when i was in film school, i wanted to work at ILM to specialize in special effects (esp lighting). e ayun...

PANOORIN NIYO NA LANG SA SABADO ANG KAKALABASAN NG EPISODE NA ITO.

sa ngayon, ie-edit ko muna... ciao!

argh

yet again, tama ang stars na naman:

It might be difficult for you to enjoy the good things in your life now without overdoing it. You might be tempted to spend more money than you have or to eat or drink more than you should. Don't let these warnings prevent you from having a wonderful time, especially if there is a special someone in your life that is willing to indulge with you.

di ba?

bat ba laging swak yan? hay ever..

*

grabe hate this cold i have. rhinitis na ata ito. nagbabadya pa ang sore throat an ubo. nooooo, not this week and not next weeeek! haggard shoot namin this week, two days ang shoot ng lovely day. 2nd year anniversary episode kasi. and we're introducing lotsa things. for one, may new billboard na itatayo sila somewhere near gma, i assume. with costumes na ang gang, plus there's a new taekwondo kid joining them. saw the pictorials and it's nice.

we're trying something new for this: wala na munang real-life segments. all fiction ito, ati, kaya full load ang kargo ko sa directing argh. di kakayanin ng powers ko ito dahil gusto ni cres na may hongkong style fight scene stunts with the harness and cable thingies. kaya we split the gig, considering one day din kami sa lokasyon lang. haggardo versoza ever. gudlak sa amin ever.

tapos pasukan na next week! argh. at least tue and thur lang load ko.  argh. pero i have to do a lesson plan pa for the  ge course i'm teaching. argh.

daming argh today. puyat pa, 2 hrs sleep lang. kaya zonked out kami sa trip pabalik from daranak kanina from the ocular. and now, hinihintay ko lang bumaba sipon para makatulong ako sa enrolmen advising.

argh. argh x 230.

super.

things we know about what we know

what better way to write a blogpost than to just pick up something from another person's blog and answer it yourself. chorva. whatever.

habang tinitimpla ko ang aking poison of choice tonight. yes gabi pa, kahit mag-a-ala una na ng madaling araw habang tinatype ko to.

sagutan!

Ten random things about me:

-- i can't leave the house without taking a shower
-- i can't sleep without brushing my teeth
-- my biggest vice is food (tasting new ones)/eating out
-- i have such a big butt and balakang
-- two of my favorite shopping places in the world: chatuchak market in bangkok and baguio market (meningosomething notwithstanding)
-- my favorite drink is still ice-cold water, kahit sinisipon na ko
-- my asthma turned into rhinitis/sinusitis na, lucky me
-- i love traveling everywhere and anywhere (esp when it involves riding a plane)
-- i have experienced bungee jumping (and would like to try it again, this time higher than 50 feet)
-- i wish i could fly. as in really lipad (not narcotics-induced ha)

Nine ways to win my heart :

-- learn how to sing my favorite songs of all time
-- be malambing lang. simple lang.
-- give me sincere praises (hehe parang oxymoronic ata)
-- surprise me with gifts, even the simplest ones will do. i'm not impressed by fancy stuff. in fact, i run away when given those things.
-- just care. as in truly care.
-- learn to listen to me. as in really listen.
-- understand my eccentricities (hehe demanding ako e)
-- just be nice.
-- be trustworthy and honest to me.

Eight things i wanna do before i die:

-- win the lotto (er, tumaya muna sa lotto)
-- climb the eiffel tower and take a photo of the view from the top
-- win a palme d'or (haha very common)
-- establish an organization that really helps abused children
-- fight for lgbtqi rights
-- become a media mogul like rupert murdoch, but with advocacy
-- make a full-length feature film using celluloid
-- buy my mom a house

Seven things that annoy me:
-- matapobreng tao na nanlalait ng class below them
-- unsolicited/unwelcome sexual advances/innuendos
-- people who don't know the meaning of respect
-- that scratching sound made by scratching styrofoam/chalkboard, felt-tipped markers on paper
-- moralistic highhats who think they are far superior than the rest of us mortals
-- homophobic comments
-- sexist comments

Six things i wish for:
-- real world peace, or an earthly existence without weapons of mass destruction
-- that my metabolism work fasterrrr than its current speed
-- that my loved ones remain unharmed, protected, secure and happy all the time
-- the filipino politicians start fucking working for real! without kurakot! (yea yeah, wishful thinking...)
-- that i don't have nightmares anymore when i sleep
-- that i attain real peace of mind and soul

Five things i'm afraid of:
-- growing old, as in kulubot old, and becoming senile na kelangang alagaan at naging malilimutin na
-- snakes, kahit fake at sa picture
-- biting ginger
-- dying a messy death. clean, quick and painless is the way to go.
-- my mom getting hurt

Four of my favorite songs:
-- downtown by petula clark
-- time after time by cyndi lauper
-- princes familiar by alanis morissette
-- winter by tori amos

Three things i do everyday:
-- procrastinate
-- drink lotsa water
-- eat something sinful

Two other things i do everyday (we ran out of ideas):
-- daydream
-- trying my darndest not to feel depressed

One person I want to see right now:
-- my mom

*

haaaay malapit na naman ang pasukan. are you ready for it? i'm not! i still wanna go back to san juan and surf, dammit! or to galera and snorkel. kainiz. but some students i know are excited to go back to school. well, what can i say? sabi nga nila, "been there, been that" hehe. i just wish that this year would be more...peaceful and without controversy.

hah. gudlak! sabi nga ni ate vi "it's not my problem anymore. it's your problem anymore!"

ayuz.

*

had a good day naman today. or yesterday pala. lunes na pala. was talking about sunday. shoot kasi ng lovely day today as usual, at sa national ecology center na naman po! buti na lang at di umulan at na-pack-up naman ng maaga. then while waiting for the transferring of footage, sumaglit muna ko sa chocolate kiss sa peyups to be with my pamangkin misha who's celebrating his birthday. more pix later. then went to gma na to rough cut the spiels. finished early kaya here i am. may energy pa to tell you all of these.

sige pix next time.

blasted stars + the baguio gig

current chi-cha: nada. just had late dinner.
current beverage: still thinking of what the bartender in me will concoct in a while... stay tuned!

ay yehey kumabit din yung band sa taas! kala ko hindi success eh. kasi i visited merman's blog and saw this at ginaya ko hehe. thanks merman. you write beautifully. thanks for reading my chenelyns rin. sorry to hear about your latest chuva.

*

mukhang tama na naman ang stars sa akin.

Discussing your feelings is quite important now, but it is especially critical for you to use the right words to express yourself. Remember, you don't have to go overboard to share your emotions. Life's not just about handling the basics of practical living. It's what's inside your heart that counts.

The Moon is in discerning Virgo today, which can keep our minds quite focused. As Mercury, the planet of information, moves into meticulous Cancer at 7:21 am EDT, we are very careful about what we say. In general we are more sensitive and quiet now, for Mercury relates to our thinking process and how we communicate our ideas. Over the next couple of months our thoughts may mellow as we reflect on how best to protect and nurture our home and family.

heh. life's not just about the basics of practical living daw baga. naalala ko tuloy yung napanood ko accidentally kanina when i tuned in sa etc 2nd ave channel. this white guy was lamenting about his financial state yata kasi yung mga anak nya problematic, and they go to private school pa daw chenelyn. tapos yung isang white woman kino-console siya sabi niya something to the tune of "what's important is you love your kids and you're together and you have to stand up to them" chenes. sagot ng 'kano "easier said than done."

haha natawa lang ako doon. kasi naman, kung livelihood at finances mo talaga ang apektado, ripple effect yan na apektado din lahat sa buhay mo. yun yung di nagets nung ale (the show, by the way pala, was this show about switching lives, switching spouses or something? basta.) nothing can really thrive much if you don't have money, especially if you live in the city and you live without your parents or older relatives who support you financially. mahirap talaga yun.

well, yun din siguro masasabi ko sa stars ko. easier said than done, dude. what's inside my heart ba? siyempre yung worry na what if i suddenly don't like my job anymore and i quit na lang? patay na lahat - rent, bills, food. diba? hay labo... minsan talaga dapat ibalik sa barter trade system ang economics natin. bat kasi inimbento pa yang pera na yan. goods, trade, services, puwede ipagpalit sa practical things. like i can french kiss you for one whole minute if you buy me a steak meal at mario's. o kaya i can give you a handjob if you give me a ride and take me to my makati office. hehe bat ang lalaswa yata ng naiisip kong barter?

ikaw, what talent would you barter for what basic need? points to ponder...

heniwey, looks like the rainy season is already here. grabe lang ang panandaliang pagkulog at pagkidlat kagabi tangina yumayanig ang bahay! parang ang baba, kala ko tatamaan na yung bubong ko o poste nearby ng kidlat. nyemas yun o.

i dig this rain thing now. especially after the sweltering heat chuva we just had the past 2 summer months, tangina i'd rather be wet than dry. and that also goes for my sex life.

hahaha ang bastos ko talaga. ano bang nakain koh?

anyway, speaking of food, may mga chenelyns lang akong nakikita sa kapaligiran na matagal ko nang di nakikita sa aking buhay. kumbaga, the food of my youth (yeah, think late '70s pare). talagang youth! like if you've been to gateway lately, nagbukas na yung pinakahihintay kong dairy queen stall doon. ilang taon na rin akong di nakapag-blizzard ha.  pero ang food of my youth doon ay yung orange julius. remember their orange slush drinks? saraaaaaap. tapos yung hotdog sandwich nila! my cousin last night said ang naaalala niya ay yung delicious hamburger daw. yummy. have to try that out soon.

yum shempre unahin muna to

oreynsh!

pero ito din yung isa pang blast from the past. i remember having this as my baon way back when i was in kinder and prep, man. sunkist orange pero hindi ganito ang hitsura. talagang super-3D na triangle ang dating, equal on all sides chenes and all that geometry stuff. mas malaki ng di hamak dito saka isang tone lang yung orange.

*

just getting my writing groove back on here. tagal ko ring naiwanan ang pagsusulat kasi. pero at least naman malaki ang nagawa ko doon sa nirerebisa kong nobela nung nasa baguio ako. i'm glad i decided to stay for a few more days to do that.

was there kasi to facilitate a scriptwriting and directing workshop kasi. deped and ncca has this summer thing pala na they teach public school teachers how to teach the arts. so ako, kasali sa media arts peeps. syempre raket ito ng mga UP faculty hehe kaya i was among colleagues and friends there. and then some people may common friends pa kami.

oks naman ang exprience. but i just wished that some -- if not most -- of the faculty and the people running the show  were not too judgmental on the mindsets of the high school teachers. i mean, for gosh sakes, they teach high school kids! that's arduous enough as it is. and of course the lack of resources sa regions. and then of course it's public school. they should have been more openminded about these things. yung lang yung ayoko whenever there's a daily meeting. they just laugh their hearts out about the others' shortcomings. it's not even funny, so dont laugh, not even a sympathy laugh. some of these folks can be so cruel.

hay. ganyan ba talaga? naturingang peyups, mayabang na. o kaya dahil kolehiyo ang tinuturuan namin, lamang na kami? man. they should try dealing with children on a regular basis kaya. baka mag-iba ihip ng hangin (sa ulo).

disappointing yun. but other than that, i'm proud of what the people i taught learned. astig ang media arts! hehe. and i had fun. saka bakit nga ganun, kami sa media arts, hindi ganun ka-judgmental? iba rin siguro kasi ang disiplinang ito. makakahalubilo mo kasi ang iba't ibang tao kaya para ka ring nag-minor sa psychology kapag nagtrabaho ka sa media, film o tv man.

share ko na lang mga pix:

huling nag-present ang media arts division. siyempre in the tradition of the madugong arts, ito ang huling natapos sa final requirements. there was a final presentation at the last day para makita ng mga utaw kung anu-ano ang natutunan nila. presenteyshun baga.

isnak

one of the better-made fiction works (well, dalawa lang naman sila, plus one docu). i'm glad the teachers stuck to what i taught them about how to find concepts for filming.


si dadi

and in the tradition of beating the presentation mula sa mainit-init pang editing, nagluko ang isang computer kaya minarapat ni sir nonoy dadivas (nagturo ng editing and sound) na bitbitin ang cpu at ikabit sa lcd. walang computer speakers! maabilidad ang inyong lingkod kaya i pulled out the earphones from my ever-present mp3 player and hooked it up. voila! insteand audiovisual success hehe.


products of the visual arts division:

tahong art

palayok art

shadowplay. bet!

prof emeritus?

sir ramon something something, sorry forgot his name, from the UP college of music. sabi ni eloi (ang head nanay ng media arts) kandidato daw si sir sa nakaraang national artist awards sa music, hindi nga lang nanalo.

hm, even national artists and national artist candidates have verrrrrry artistic attitudes. read between da lines na lang.  :P



teatro

feel nila ang antonio luna piece ni rene villanueva. longish nga lang.


sayaw

er, kulang sila sa paraktis, pero okay ang effort. roommate ko yung instructor nila pero nilayasan ko later kasi di ako makatulog sa teacher's camp. ay, as teacher's camp nga pala ito ginanap. well, at least most of it. we also had sessions at baguio national high school.


and on the first day, i had to buy these:

50% off at sm!

dahil sa araw-araw na ginawa ng diyos doon ay tinatahak namin pabalik-balik ang kainan hall na ganito kalayo sa tinitirhan namin:



to your left is the mess hall. this long stretch leads out. sa dulo, kaliwa ka.




 eto tatambad sa yo.



another hallway ek passing the staff house na okupado ng deped. aba at least sila halfway lakad lang kesa samen!



then you have to go up these stairs...



to reach this plateau thing. kung di pa lawit dila mo by then, prepare!



dahil eto na yung pinakamadugong stair palakad pataas palabas sa sidewal sa actual kalye. and remember how inclinces in baguio seem to be harder to scale? haaaaaay....



so sidewalk na. but wait! isang sidewalk lang yan. doble niyang ang tatahakin para marating ang aming tinutuluyang...




guest house six. yes, six. dadaanan mo ang four and five.



potah. teacher's camp ka dyan. this should be renamed teacher's hike! isipin mo every breakfast, lunch and dinner, ganyan ang lakad. hay mahabagin. at least for four straight days, my calves and cardio system got a much-needed workout and my  saddlebags kinda disappeared while my bum and tummy got a tad smaller. ayuz.

but now, back to sitting mode na naman ang lola.  kaya megawepaks na naman tayo hay nakuh...

purple haze it ain't

current chi-cha: nada. just chewing on some thoughts, as some medieval philosopher once mused
current beverage: absinvodyus (absinthe+vodka+citrus-based juice of some sort)

i am so loving absinthe. iba ang hilata sa lalamunan hehe. at sa utak. :P

just a little before i turn in.

transition mode panahon ito ngayon sa akin. lotsa things are happening around me and i wanna react to them one by one, even dissect and analyze and deconstruct them one by one but it seems that whenever i want to do that, i get utterly tired on the onset and just forget about it and replace it with doing something sinful like eating isaw or bulalo. i dunno...

just to give you an idea, lots. split-ups and near split-ups. death. sickness. reorientation of thoughts. rethinking of careers. sexual harassment suits. writer hang-ups. showbiz haunts. organizational coups.

konti pa lang yan. hay, how i am so amazed at how things happen and then i ask myself...where am i in all of these? amidst all of these? just in the sidelines observing? as an active/inactive participant? ewan ko. minsan ayoko na lang gumalaw and i just let things pass until things just fall into place later on. but i kow that that's not such a hot idea most times.

so i drink. hehe. ching! nah, just kidding.

later na lang ang more sensible blogs, with pictures pa. the absinthe is getting to me. swabe kaya parang ang sarap itulog na lang.

bet.

anyway, i don't think i 'm making sense here so i'll just come back later.