23 June 2006

para kay o - bati pa rin kita :) + some notes on lesbian feminism


para kay o na nabagabag sa aking sinulat noong isang araw:

pasensiya na rin at hihingi rin ako ng taos-pusong paumanhin kung masyadong mapusok sa pandinig ang naisulat ko noong isang gabi. wari'y bagung-bago pa lang sa kaisipan ko at damdamin ang mga pangyayaring naganap sa gabing tinutukoy ko kaya marami rin akong naisulat na tila di maganda. totoo ka, medyo iba ang dating sa aking pandinig ng iyong sinabi, pero siguro dala na rin ito marahil ng alab ng pag-iisip ko noong gabing iyon dahilan nga sa muli kong aksidenteng pakikisalamuha sa multong di ko na nais pa mang masilayan. di ko sinadyang maliitin ka o ang iyong sinabi. wala nga marahil sa konteksto ang pag-intindi ko nito. mabuti na lamang at naliwanagan mo ako. tanggap ko ang iyong pagpapaumanhin at sana'y tanggapin mo rin ang sa akin.

iba nga talaga marahil kapag pagkababae na ng isang babae ang nasasalanta -- tagos sa laman, tagos sa dugo, tagos sa isipan. ito siguro ang eksperyensiyang di kailanman maiintindihan ng mga lalaki. awtomatikong nagdidilim ang paningin ng babaeng niyuyurakan ng dangal, pagkatao at pagkababae -- at nakakalimot sa lahat ng tino at kalma. kaya paumanhin rin.

salamat sa patuloy na pagbabasa. at bati tayo ha. :) patuloy pa rin ako sa pagsuporta sa inyong mga adhikain at aktibidades. sabi nga sa mga lumang pelikula "siyang tunay."

*

i am reminded by all these of an episode on THE L WORD season 2 where bisexual writer jenny and lesbian heartthrob shane had a housemate who's a guy and a filmmaker. he hooked up hidden cams all over the house and filmed the girls' lesbian lives. soon enough, jenny discovered the scam and confronted the guy. while it might have appeared iffy and squeamish the first time i watched this (because i initially didn't like mia kirshner's take on the jenny character -- or maybe it was bad directing), going over the whole 3 seasons of the show last summer (to psyche me up in my lesbian-themed novel writing endeavor) made me appreciate mia's subtle style of acting na (yea, now i'm seeing it from the craft point of view, as a director).

and of course the dialogues given are the lines i have often repeated to others when it comes to issues of sexual harassment.

Jenny: "Do you have any sisters?"

Mark: "Yes, I have two younger sisters."

Jenny: "Okay. I want you to ask them a question. And the most important thing is that you really listen to their answer. I want you to ask your sisters about the very first time that they were intruded upon by some man or a boy."

Mark: "What makes you think that my sisters have been intruded upon?"

Jenny: "Because there isn't a single girl or woman in this world that hasn't been intruded upon, and sometimes it's relatively benign, and sometimes it's so fucking painful. But you have no idea what this feels like."

di ba? tama siya e. an eye for an eye kaya ang approach. e paano kung nanay mo yun, sister mo yun, anak mo yung na-harass? panu na? do unto others and all that karmic retribution blah.

that's basically it. men have no idea what it feels like. kaya gustong-gusto ko rin yung kanta ni madonna na "what it feels like for a girl." while i don't think these two women are trying hard to be feminists, the fact that they said these things make them automatic feminists in their own right... because i believe feminism is just that -- standing up to claim your rights to live a life that's secure, happy and free,  and without fear of any kind.


"What It feels Like For A Girl"

[Spoken:] Girls can wear jeans
And cut their hair short
Wear shirts and boots
'Cause it's OK to be a boy
But for a boy to look like a girl is degrading
'Cause you think that being a girl is degrading
But secretly you'd love to know what it's like
Wouldn't you
What it feels like for a girl

Silky smooth
Lips as sweet as candy, baby
Tight blue jeans
Skin that shows in patches

Strong inside but you don't know it
Good little girls they never show it
When you open up your mouth to speak
Could you be a little weak

Do you know what it feels like for a girl
Do you know what it feels like in this world
For a girl

Hair that twirls on finger tips so gently, baby
Hands that rest on jutting hips repenting
Hurt that's not supposed to show
And tears that fall when no one knows
When you're trying hard to be your best
Could you be a little less

Do you know what it feels like for a girl
Do you know what it feels like in this world
What it feels like for a girl

Strong inside but you don't know it
Good little girls they never show it
When you open up your mouth to speak
Could you be a little weak

Do you know what it feels like for a girl
Do you know what it feels like in this world
For a girl
In this world

Do you know
 Do you know
Do you know what it feels like for a girl
What it feels like in this world



amen to that, lola madonna. amen to that.

*

it's strange and weird enough as it is for women. what about women who love women pa? aye, there's the rub, 'ika nga ni shakespeare.

naaalala ko yung isang patawa ng ilang participants dati sa Asian Lesbian Networking conference na in-attend-an ko during the late '90s. we were talking about the levels of marginalization filipinas experience. sabi nga doon, "e babae ka na tapos lesbiyana ka pa, tapos poor ka pa, tapos disabled ka pa." sige, pagsama-samahin na ang lahat ng marginalization sa sangkatauhan. sabi nga namin, "ay kawawa naman" sabay tawa.

laughing at ourselves like that doesn't hurt sometimes.  pero sadly, totoo pa rin itong patung-patong na marginalization na nagyayari. kaya mapapaisip ka pa rin talaga sa lagay ng mga bagay-bagay sa patriyarkal na lipunang ito e. hay.

oh well. siya, tama na muna ang mga muni-muning ito at manananghalian muna ako.

pero salamat sa mga komento ha. sulat lang kayo ulit kung nais niyong makisali sa talakayan dito.


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