floating, fleeting

I'm so busy as usual, hence here I am, procrastinating lolz. 

I don't know what's with today. Almost three cups of coffee and things are still not kicking in. Well, I already wrote one article, two out of the required four for the month in my usual gig. But other work? Ewan ko ba. The more I know how to finish the damn work, the more I delay doing it. Not that I don't want it to finish but...ewan ko ba. 

Sometimes my mind just flies and wanders around, somewhere in the universe. It takes a special dose of energy to pin me down and write, and my usual discipline will latch me down hard naman anyway. It's the energy that's fleeting lately, to finish this specific project I have. I think my soul is yearning to write something else na kasi. But of course, kabuhayan package comes first, as always.

Was going through my cloud repository of concepts to kill time when I stumbled upon a short poem I wrote last year. Ewan ko ba, bigla lang itong lumitaw, like parang bula mula sa gitna ng karagatan or something like that. 

Kasalukuyan akong nasa Leyte-Samar trip ko noon, para sa ocular ng Yolanda devastated sites ng isang environmental NGO na producer ng librong sinulat ko para sa kanila. Ang dami siyempreng thoughts at feelings na pumalaot sa akin sa three-day trip na iyon, grabe lang, sa lugar pa na iyon. Isang araw, I have to write those down pa rin. 

In the meantime eto 'yung tula, share ko lang dito.

Laot 

Minsan kailangan kang
Pumunta sa
Gitna
Ng kawalan
Para makahanap
Ng tamang lugar
Kung saan may
Bunga
Ang pagsagwan. 

 (28aug14 touchdown to Tacloban)

Tacloban: Sa gitna ng kabihasnan at kawalan. (August 2014)

I am by nature a storyteller, and I have said that here many times. But there are times when poetry just springs forth from my mind. Rare ito lately, actually, maybe because my life lately is full of good heartfelt stories that are better to retell. But of course, I can't control my muse if she wants to produce this way. So hey, what the hey.

So many travels, so many musings. Sometimes I am paralyzed and unsure if I should even share them. But of course, some are raring to be told. 

And we will. soon.

BBBayli mode-ing

At the risk of sounding like an advert, let me just say that I love love love having a BlackBerry phone. Mightiest best buy ever grabe sobra for this year, gadget-wise hehe. Super ang superlatives teh. Ganung levels kasi eh.

Got it under a prepaid plan under Globe, then enrolled in an unlimited BB internet usage scheme, 

giving me the chance to go online all the time, especially with that BBM messaging scheme thingie. 

Wagas siya teh. Wagas. (April 2012 at the Globe Business Center SM Marikina)

As I mentioned in my previous post, I am a fan of communication -- and also the reinvention and enhancement of it, I should add. Now I see the appreciation of onsite journalists who praise the usefulness of such gadgets in coverage situations. Even if I'm not a hard news journalist, sometimes I treat the gadget as if I am one. But of course I use it merely to inform my family and friends of what's happening to me and what I'm doing and such via the various social networking sites we're on. Well, mostly Twitter and Facebook for us.

 Oh yeah, but I did use it as a journalist once na nga pala. In an impromptu walk with an interviewee 

for a magazine I'm going to write for, I wasn't able to get to my recorder gadget in time. 

But since my BB was already in my hand, I just used it to access the voice recorder and 

take pictures for reference. Useful! (May 2012 at Enchanted Farm Cafe along Commonwealth Ave QC)

Well, basically, I got this for a specific one-track-mind objective, to tell you the truth. It makes messaging with my heart a bit faster, more economical (ang buhay ay economics FTW heheh) and, er, let's say better, sweeter, and, um, hotter? Hahaha figure that one out! :P

Wala, ako na inlab haha.

Even in hibernation from the world, the BB was able to connect me to my world, 

and my world to me. Especially to my heart. :) (April 2012 in Puerto Galera)

Yeah, it's not such an awful waste of space after all, Carl Sagan. Even with miles between us and oceans keeping us apart, invisible particles honed in pretty gadgets make long distance relationships easier to manage, and bridge.  Yeah, we're not complaining. If this is as good as it gets for now, then we'll grab it and cherish it. Anything to preserve the love. ;)

Ako na talaga inlab hahaha! Chos.

P.S. Miss you. :)




[All images processed through Instagram]

Fancy a new look?

I tend to be such a square when it comes to redesigning this space. If you've been following -- and I thank you ever so deeply for that -- then you'd notice. If there's one thing I'm vanilla about in life, it's this whole web design business thing, designing by myself, that is. I'm not such a techie as my other dyke friends and so I tend to stick to whatever's familiar and well, manageable, in such a short time. And yeah, thank goodness I ain't no vanilla when it comes to other things, eh? Yes, yes, silly, I'm talking about sex. Haha!


But it has been a year since a lot of things happened in my life. This space also tends to get an overhaul whenever major changes in my life happen, mostly in the department of fancy affairs. Fancying someone, I mean. Yes, I am all Lip Service-y right now as I just finished the last 2 eps before the 6th and final ep, the season ender next week. Yeah, the accent rubs off, even in writing. I guess my brain and my tongue combined are talented like that, in another kind of non-kinky application. I kid you not. Heheh. :)


Well, the basic color palette I've grown to love is still there. Basic autumn is the season of my life and hence I follow its color scheme. My early favorite color of blue has been reverted to its complementary orange this latter part of my life, which is better. Funny how I've managed to pull out from the blues and surf amongst the oranges in life, eh? I've noticed that early on. And thank goodness it changed. If not, my condo would have been all-blue now instead of this bright orange that welcomes guests inside. Good transition.


And of course, there's that header photo. I also change that once in a while.

This photo means a lot. It was taken when I was in Singapore last February, for a pre-Valentine date with a girl that would turn out to be my girlfriend right now. We went there both to sort things left unanswered, face to face, here in Manila last January. And it was the best fucking trip of my life so far. Yes, I think I will love Singapore extra-special because of the meaning it gave me. Yes, I am a traveler that way, not your garden variety tourist preoccupied with appearances but more of an inner traveler more mindful of the experience rather than the souvenir. You can read about those thoughts in my travel blog. Here. 


I also liked that there's this lotus in bloom and lotus closed, side by side, juxtaposed meanings. I love it. Symbolized who I was, who I am, and who I'm going to be in the next few moments, I suppose, in relation to her, in tandem with her, her that I fancy upon going to that trip,  and her that I ended up loving as soon as we parted. Yeah, that's her and me -- closed, opened up, still guarded, but ever so ready. 


I'm glad. Ever so glad. Things happen for a reason. Trips materialize if they're needed. And some things just fall into place when you thought they wouldn't. Story of my year so far. And what an awesome and fucking helluva year this is turning out to be. And I am loving every moment of it. Each one. I kid you not.


So here's to new things, to redesigning things, to recalibrating things, and to celebrating them still. Don't get tired to party, even if the celebration changes styles. As long as the participants are still cool, then the fun and intensity won't wane. 


Yes, I am living life, because it is indeed short. 


Seizing!

ngayon

Mag-iisang linggo na pala ngayon mula nang huli kitang masilayan, irog. Pitong araw ngayon nang huli kitang mahawakan. Mamayang gabi, mag-iisang linggo na mula nang huling dumampi ang mga labi ko sa pisngi mo, ang mga labi kong nais sanang dampian ng pabaong pagmamahal ang iyong mga labi rin, nguni't hindi pupuwede, hindi maaari, noong pagkakataong iyon. Umalis ka sa piling ko nang walang anumang hagod na tayong dalawa lamang ang nakakaalam, ang nakakaramdam, ang nakakaunawa, mahal. Wala.


Mainit ang araw na ito. Naaalala mo pa ba? Ganito rin nang umalis ka sa piling namin. Matingkad ang araw, tirik, pero naghahabol ka ng iyong mga naiwanang gawain. Tangan mo rin ako, kami, nang ika'y naghabol pa ng iba pang gawain kaakibat ng iyong responsibilidad bilang isang nilalang sa iba pang nilalang. Habulan. Iyan ang ginawa mo, ko, natin, sa mga oras na tila di mapakaling tumakbo nang di man lang tayo hinahayaang makahabol, kahit isa, dalawa, tatlong segundo, para lamang magkaroon tayo ng pagkakataong magkaroon ng ilang pribadong panahon, na tayong dalawa lamang sana ang aalala kapag lumisan ka na.


Pero di ito reklamo, di ito pagsusumamo, at di ito pagsisisi. Ito ang napili ng ating mga puso, at ito ang naramdamang gawin ng ating mga kaluluwa. Di na natin alintana ang sinasabi pa ng ating mga utak, at mas pinakinggan nating mabuti ang pinagsamang daing-hiling ng ating mga katawan. Kaya nangyari na ang mga pangyayari, naganap na ang mga kaganapan, at nairaos na ang mga pinagdausan.


Isang linggo na pala ngayon. Wala naman, iniisip ko lang, tinatamasa ko lang, inaalala ko lang. Dahil sa liwanag ng araw na nasisilayan ko ngayon, dito sa munti kong sulok sa mundong ito, marahil ay nagliwanag din ang pag-iisip ko sa mga naganap sa nakaraan. Marahil ay may hinanap ang balat ko sa paggising sa umagang ito. Marahil ay may naramdaman ang kaloob-looban ko na kailangan kong maramdaman sa pagdilat ko sa araw na ito.


At iyon na nga, naalala ko ngayon, ang mga naganap noon. Isang linggo na ngayon, irog. Isang linggo. Hindi, hindi rin ako nagbibilang. Hindi rin ako nagsisisi. Bagkus, mas naghihintay ako, mas nananabik, mas umaasam. At laking liwanag na naramdaman ng aking pagkatao nang marinig ko ang pamilyar na tunog na napapadalas kong marinig sa mga umagang lumilipas, ang tunog ng teknolohiyang nagpapasalamat ako at naimbento dahil nakakapagpalapit ito, kahit papaano, sa mga sandaling pagkawalay nating dalawa.

At sinabi mong "Good morning sa iyo, asawa ko. Kung alam mo lang gano kita kamahal."


Kung alam mo lang rin kung gaano rin kita kamahal. Kaya heto ang ilang ebidensiya nun, sa mga salitang ito, sa mga katagang narito, na kanina lamang ay nasa loob lang ng utak ko, ng puso ko, ng kaluluwa ko. Sinagot ko ang bati mo, sabi ko'y magandang umaga rin, at ramdam ko ang sinabi mo, at alam na alam ko iyon, at nang ika'y nagpadala ng elektronikong mensahe, noong segundo na iyon mismo -- ngayon -- ika'y iniisip ko. Lagi naman, e. Lagi.


Magandang umaga. Sana'y maganda ang araw mo ngayon, kasing ganda ng araw ko ngayon, dahil alam kong nariyan ka, para sa akin, nagmamahal. Ngayon, at sa darating pang mga araw, na kapag tumambad na sa harapan ko, ay tatawagin ko ring ngayon.

Ngayon.

meet my new girlfriend

(sing to the tune of Copacabana) Her name is Nona. She is a show girl.

Chos.

This somehow looks like a still from an Alfred Hitcock movie.
I like! :) I heart Hitch. (self-portrait trial at the
rainbow reading room / December 2011)

We look good together, 'no?

Heehee. Yes, I have a personal relationship with inanimate objects. However, I am bad at naming them. Like my male-bodied queer friend has a new car and he named it Kevin. Imaginative. Me, I have a new laptop and I named it Pilak, Filipino for silver because, er, it's colored silver... So imagine what my old copper-colored laptop is named. Not Tanso, but... Copper. Copper Cantor. Hehe. Well, this is the first time I'm naming a camera, so well... Nona. Hehe. Because it's Canon. Labo.

Well hello zoom, we meet again. Play nice. Behave. And heed to my instructions only. And we're gonna be just fine...

This one was a personal struggle. For quite a while, I've resisted owning a digital SLR since my first wifey, my Minolta SLR with the Vivitar telephoto lens, is still around...but not handy anymore. Ah, Minolta, we've been through a lot. She has seen me struggle with my undergraduate thesis film in the '90s and saw me through it. She was ever loyal by my side when I started becoming a professional in the world of showbiz then in the world of literature then in the world of journalism up until the world of freelance writing. We've photographed events graced by three Philippine presidents and hence that ugly, ugly hard-to-remove "Presidential Security Group inspected" neon stickers on her body. We've photographed indigenous peoples up north of the Philippines and we've photographed future political rabble rousers down south of the country. We've photographed interestingly unknown Filipinos and we've shot uninteresting celebrities as well. We've climbed mountains, been in beaches, and covered Pride Marches since the time I transitioned from being cisgendered/semi-questioning to femme lesbian to genderqueer. But as with time, functions fade and services wither, and she has been dormant and quiet for years now. Just there, but never forgotten.

Hello depth of field, where have you been all these years? I missed you immensely.

So ever since, we've been having this open relationship and she has permitted me to fulfill my desires with others because she can't perform the role anymore. Hence, my wonderful trysts with two point-and-shoot Nikon cuties. They served me well.

But now, no more flings. It's time for a serious commitment. And hence, this (monogamous) marriage (for now...).

Chos!!!!!! :)

Don't mind me, I'm just high on chocolate covered malt balls.

Mighty fine capturing of details I initially thought wasn't possible
in digital technology. I was reared on celluloid film, after all --
both the still photo 35mm format and motion picture 16mm format.
Film "purist" no more. Democratizing image capturing is the shitz!

Well, it was either this or a backpacking trip out of the country during this time of the year when it's best to be out of the country (Ah, Xmas in the P.I.? That's another blogpost!). I'm glad I chose well. As a superfriend said, I should buy first what I need to have immediately in my life right now. No questions asked on what that is. Priorities. That trip can wait.

And man, am I ever so glad that the universe is watching! I seriously thought I would end this year on an unhappy note and usher in an even unhappier one. But there really are times when you just throw things up in the air and yes, they fall into place eventually. That's when good karma points earned will help glue those pieces strongly. And here we are.

Thank you, universe. Thank you goddesses for looking after me. Artemis, you rock!!!!

Now let's use this baby well!

To quote Rick in Casablanca, "I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship!"

sentimentality slippage #003

Since it's still raining like crazy here in Metro Manila, I still miss sunshine!

and goofing around with it, especially near sunset,
with my camera and made-up amber filtering system
also known as my sunglasses

And people who contribute sunshine into my life.

like the soul who took this photo
(San Juan, La Union / April 2011 photo by superfriend L)

So there.

i'd rather (be)...

...there than here.

...dancing than worrying.

...write fiction than academic articles.

...typing than procrastinating.

...you than me.

Switch?



I'd rather hang out with my sister again (like last year) and discover what crazy California has to offer than hang out with people who give you stress even if you run away from them because they still follow you no matter what which makes you wonder if they have a life of their own that they're so curious to look into mine.

Losers.



[at Universal Studios Citywalk area, April 2010 photo by my sis]







I'd rather be along Broadway than being boredthisway. Garbage notwithstanding.


[along Broadway in New York, March 2010 photo by K]






I'd rather roam around anywhere in the country than being stuck in a rut with pretentious scholarly runts and cunts. (Okay I know that sounds bad but sorry I was achieving a rhyming effect there.)




[internalizing Intramuros, Jan 2011 photo by superfriend L]







I'd rather keep an ear on rock legends playing classic songs than shutting off my senses to protect them from noise emanating from hollow shitheads that fancy themselves as rock stars.

[watching Lolita Carbon at Taumbayan, Feb 2011 photo by superfriend L]





But this is actually called "taking a break." Seriously.

And saying goodnight.

And yeah, I still don't do Valentine's. Like I don't do girlfriends.

For now.

But what the heck. I still wrote about love. This is that assignment, all finished:

These successful stories about LBTQ love lives are just the tip of the iceberg. Yes, these things exist. Yes, people are happy in these kinds of relationships. And yes, true love exists within these spaces between people.

So to those of you out there who still don’t believe that this happens, well, it can happen. It’s happening! And for those who have been facing challenges just because you are in this kind of relationship, trust yourselves more that you made the right decision – the decision to be happy, or to be happily in love. In the end, that’s all that matters anyway – happiness. And no one can dictate that upon you, much like no one can take that away from you either.

Read the full article here.

Hm.

Heniwey...

Seq. 12. Int./Ext. Bayli's universe circa 2010 (montage). Sunrise to sunset to sunrise.

Goodbye 2010. You have been such an interesting year for me. But I am soooooo ready to let you go and sooooo ready to embrace the new year that ushers the next decade.

Next decade na?????? Where'd time go, man! Hayyy... Well, whatever. Bring it on, universe.

But first, a quick flashback. In images. To let me remember what I need to (still) flush out of my system, what I still need to hold on to, what I have to adjust, what I have to conquer, what I could (still) permit/let inside my being, and what I have to just accept without prejudice -- if that is possible at all. You know me. :)

All photos, unless otherwise indicated, were taken by me. Some swiped or shared by others.

As ABBA sang, thank you for the music. Thank you for the images as well. And to you folks who have been reading my stuff here all these years/times, thanks very much.

Roll cam.
My high school friends and I decided to see each other more often, at least once a month, and pig out or as we called it "payday dinners" at the end of each month. Some months were successful; some were not. As always. This is us at Banapple in Katipunan Ave. sometime in January.

Continuing the so-called "domesticated bliss" and discovering good finds in longstanding places, as exemplified by this masala-flavored noodles we discovered in Assad Indian store in Manila.

Continued my TV scriptwriting duties and sometimes directorial duties in Happy Land, awarded the best children's show program last November at the PMPC Star Awards for TV or something, before the show got revamped. Hamming it up with one of the lead kid actors JP sometime in February.

As always, discovered new foodie stuff and, um people stuff with superfriends, as exemplified by this gelato discovery of me and superfriend X while waiting for a potential work client in Trinoma mall. How come I always pick the fancier ones? Just a thought...

And then, everything seemed to be up in the air come February's tail end.

And um, Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore. Chos. Me at Ihop somewhere in San Francisco. Yes, California. Yes yooesopey. Hay, after ingesting all the ninja training modules on US visa application and stuff, I finally made it. Ten year multiple entry, baby! Sankapa!

We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of... My California-based sister picking me up at SF International Airport.

Taking a sneak peek of San Francisco. I'd like to come back here and fully explore...

...since we got lost looking for the Castro District that night. Darn GPS. Hm next time na ang pilgrimage sa store ni Harvey Milk.
Because I needed to don my gear for my next ninja training module, environment edition...

...called New York During The Tail of Winter, A Week After A Blizzard Hit The City. Putangina I hate winter. Good luck to me!!! Whoever invented winter should die! Sorry tropics girl angst mode. Oh yeah, that's Liberty at the background, and me at the foreground freezing my butt off. [photo by K early March]




Good thing I have my superfriend K, my New York sensei, to teach me the finer things in NY life, like surviving the subway. Among other things...

I miss you teh!!! As our American "savior" Gen. McArthur said, I shall return. Chos.





K showing me the concrete jungle where dreams are made of, as Alicia Keys sang. Yeah that's Times Square. And that's the dork in New York. [photo by K]






Central Park fail! Snow I hate you. Must.come.back.during.spring/summer/autumn.
[photo by K]






Went there for this. Presented a paper on lesbian depictions in independent digital Pinoy cinema ek. Happened in CUNY Graduate Center ek along Fifth Avenue in Manhattan.






Went there with the usual suspects, of course. Superfriend X presented a paper on homosexual digital films and superfriend A presented gay spaces in digital cinema. All our papers were under the panel of Articulations of Homosexual Desire in Philippine Independent Cinema. Needless to say, we were a hit hehe. Op kors! Third world thinkers rock! Hahaha chos!




Us listening to first world (outdated) knowledge. Chos! Hahaha. Nah, these are the cool CUNY conference organizers.

But still, there were papers presented there that made us think "Uhh, so why the fuck are you guys studying that?" Hehe. Kami na, ang matalino! Hahaha!



And no New York trip is complete without the ultimate queer pilgrimage to Stonewall along the legendary Christopher Street in Greenwhich Village. Achieve!!!!! [photo by X]








Book sluts that we are, we have to visit Strand or as I want to call it, the money blackhole hehe (thanks to Jovan for the term).

A former college friend used to work there. Used to barter books with him hehe.





Visited places that also made me go hmmmmmm...

Ano, puwede? Bagay? Keri? Lemmesee... :P







And I was like, "Uhh yeah, I can live here in this neighborhood..."

Loitering around Greenwich Village.










And I had to visit the American Museum of Natural History, specifically the Rose Center for Earth and Space area where we saw a new stars show. Astronomy geek is it!







And yes, we had to see MOMA. And see my favorite Picasso painting of all time. I heart cubism. [Photo by X]






Of course I had to see other NY-based great friends who toured me on foot in other places of interest :) That's my good friend from the film industry before, Ly with Liz, at Cubbyhole.






But this particular legendary area of interest failed!!! St. Patrick's Day fail. Like what are buffed gay guys doing in a lesbian pick-up joint???? Beats me.

So thus, we ended up hanging out at Stonewall. Good enough. No pick-ups, though. Ah, woe is me hehe :P



Hooked up with great NY-based writer friends as well. Mini-jologz reunion here, with the Jojoes, my Dumaguete workshop co-writing fellows. We're a long way from the boulevard now, eh dudes?

That's us hanging out at this cool vegetarian Indian resto Vatan in Manhattan. Thanks for the treat, guys! [photo by Jojo]



Other good-natured souls also treated me and superfriend X to other things, like this Phantom of the Opera show. Yuh, that's the famed chandelier. In fairness, winner ang production design.


And yes omg Birdland!!!! Tumbling lola mo when I saw the venue for our dinner that night, with the open mic jam session thing. I am a big old school jazz fan and if you are, you'd know how legendary this place is. Man I almost died!


My, my, how can I resist ya, New York?

Loitering around the theater district. [photo by X]


It is useless to resist.

At the Brooklyn Bridge. [photo by K]




While in NY, the good-natured souls invited us to visit them in New Jersey. But when I reached Jersey, hm, the universe wanted me to go home! And sent this cab for me! Kaloka hahaha. [photo by X]






Jersey-based Ate M of superfriend X, as we inhaled the fresh air of Liberty Park with a nice view of the Manhattan skyline.


And yeah, while in Jersey, we also got a glimpse of Pennsylvania for one whole afternoon. Four states in one visit, dude. That might be a record.




Yes, I got the ninja training module on subway riding down pat. That's me during my last day in Brooklyn. And New York. Yes, I miss it. Especially superfriends.




Back in Cali. And guess where we decided to eat. Ganda lang, teh. It's like I never left Manila hehe. Well, when you got a craving for crispy pata, it has to be enacted upon!


Doctor Dre is in da hauz!!! Word up! Hanging out at Norm's for steaks.

Easter holiday, I got picked up by my superfriend D who's now based in Los Angeles. So SoCal it is.

Yes I have a lot of great friends living abroad. Hm makes me think... Yes it does, with their prodding, of course. Lemmesee...



So we made it a more memorable Easter. Other old friends from UP flew in, drove down and hung out! It was a blast!

Having pizza and beer somewhere in WeHo early April.





And um, yeah, watched the Truckstop ladies perform in LA! Too chicken to get a lapdance though hahaha!

Man I sooooo miss West Hollywood right now. [photo by C]





And of course, Hollywood, baby!









And a brief moment of silence in front of Johnny Depp's club where River Phoenix died years ago.

Along Sunset Boulevard. [photo by Hazel]


And leave me for 3 hours in Hollywood and this is what I do: photo ops. Along everywhere, like the Walk of Fame.

No, we're not related.



Back at my sister's in central California, where one should not get a $9 haircut, if one doesn't want to look like Justin Bieber after 3 weeks.






Central Cali goodness is discovering the John Steinbeck museum at Salinas just near Monterey!!! Woot! Film and lit geek mode on!




And pigging out in different places like Panda Express. Man I love this joint pramis. Orange chicken heaven!






And driving around and checking out the beaches, like Pismo. But it was too darn cold to jump in. So photo ops would suffice.





And then it's me and my sister's turn to loiter around LA. So of course, theme parks are the main destinations. Especially this one. Super-film geek mode on!



Ladies with an attitude. Ganda ng Marilyn Monroe raket ng lola, aney?







And of course Disneyland!!! Gotta check out pop culture imperalism at its finest in its orginal location. Yeh? :P






But this is more fun -- Disney California Adventure. That's me redefining the concept of "motion sickness" after riding that fucker at my back. It involves riding a seated elevator that opens up near the top and you can see the whole park from the side. No, I didn't hurl but I almost did! Frak. There goes my ambition of being an astronaut...




And yey a quick side trip to Griffith Observatory! Where they shot Rebel Without A Cause! And um Charlie's Angels Full Throttle.




But back to reality after summer, just in time to see the Philippines undergo its first automated elections. And voila, we have a new president and senators. Hm.



And trying to enjoy the calm before the storm that is first semester in my serene Diliman campus... serene if without the kids.



Thank goddess for good friends who never run out of appetite to discover food thingies as we enjoy each other's company while bashing people who bash us hahaha!

Fumo-fundue at Cabalen Trinoma.




Also bidding farewell to some more friends who want to go abroad either to work or to be with their partners in countries where it's cooler to be queer. Haaay envy is me.

Miss you, Chet. Watch out for the kangaroos. :)




But we gain new friends along the way, like X's newest mistress, Ruby. :)



As we engage in TV work for the last time. Me directing an episode of Sunnyville, the show that revamped Happy Land.



And trying out new things in old environs, like not being a sideline rapporteur at the yearly Cinemalaya Film Congress but this time, being one of the on-stage moderators for a panel. Keri na rin. [photo by Maya sometime in July]




Also doing some newspaper columnist duties at the side, a gig I actually let go before the year ended. Sans regret, I should add.

Me being hi-tech as I jot down notes using my smartphone at the International Silent Film Festival coverage.





But ending old engagements also brought along starting new ones, like this current favorite of mine, our radio talk show over DZUP, my brainchild Cine Chichirya, where the usual suspects talk about the one thing we all love -- cinema. With this gig, I can now honestly say that I've made all the rounds of tri-media. Bow.


Also found myself networking with new like-minded people, like that strange impromptu media presentation I gave at the regional meeting of the International Association of Women in Radio and TV sometime in August. Weird, but good nonetheless. Met the courageous former Mayor Grace Padaca who wanted to add me on Facebook, but her account's already full. Oh well. :)

And then it had to happen. Domestic bliss shattered. September was the month when I developed a strange allergic reaction to sunsets especially those viewed from my picture windows. Imagine that. But thank goddess that didn't take so long. After a month of friendly rehab, I'm back in business. Silhouettes are in again. And I was good to go. Raring.


Friendly rehab consisted of drifting towards like-minded beer-drinking people, friends of superfriends and old acquaintances turned present friends. At Vina's kubo in Bulacan. [photo by X]




Thank goddess for the presence of the usual suspects during these tumultuous times as well. And yes, food helped heal one's soul. And pigging out. Like at Xocolat.






As well as engaging in familiar spaces, like literary conventions. Here, meeting up with Indian author Vikas Swarup whose novel Q&A was the basis for Danny Boyle's super-hit film Slumdog Millionaire. This was sometime in November during the Lit Out Loud NBDB conference.





Or engaging in media in different ways with old people. Like when X and I were invited to see the film premiere of the Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Gahoole at Imax theater (my first time in Imax. Don't like.) and then being interviewed on TV for a morning show segment. Well, needless to say, it was a hooooooot. Hehe.



And yes, engaging with a new life partner. Meet my girlfriend Dahon. We are in an open relationship so she doesn't mind me doing other things with other, er, equipment. Like at the gym, where I have a regular morning orgy with Treadmill, Lat Machine and Dumbbells. We're good. :)



Crashing back into the scene also helps. A lot! That's me redefining "pamorningan" after ditching a boring exclusive dance party and being invited to crash in a more interesting cougars vs. cubs party somewhere in Mandaluyong. Needless to say, liquor + conversations with witty queer women keep me awake 'til sunrise. [photo by Jaja]




Another good thing is starting new things with the usual suspects of old friends. Unofficially, we three have been doing media/arts stuff all around. But thanks to an official engagement, we made it official this time. Hence, the birth of Pedxing Media Group.



Also reconnected with my old office, Isis International, to facilitate a media workshop for their Activist School. My kind of thing. The second round of this engagement I brought with me Pedxing. [photo from Isis]





Teaching non-film people to do film production work for advocacy is something I think I'd like to do more. Hm let's see...

Here we are engaging the Asia-Pacific participants at Subic's White Rock resort. [photo by Teta]



And that's me trying to take a glimpse of a Philippine beach, my first for the year. That was X's angst actually ever since we came back from the US -- we haven't spent decent time relaxing in a local beach due to work stuff, unlike in past years. Ah, we'll try to change that this 2011, my friend. [photo by Teta]



Also dragging along old friends in the gig, like long-lost superfriend T and new friends or students-turned-co-workers like Nessa. [photo by Avie]



So it was also good that Isis adopted us "orphans" for this year's Pride March held in QC.

And of course, I came prepared. As always. Since I also decided after 12 years, this will be my last.


So better go out with a bang. With a new look. And an improved body. Lavet!

[photo by my student barbie]




After ten years, this is the first time I wore a tank top in public, again. Yes, I am so loving this new old persona hehe. [photo by richie]




Also enjoying pizza and the new persona as I hang out with new people in my universe. Pigging out at Sicilian's after pride with Kat and Leah of Isis.




Continuing old traditions of yearly get-togethers with writer friends at Writer's Night. Free wine is a lure. With UP Writers Workshop Baguio batchmates Butch and Marnie and foremost gay writer Neil Garcia. [photo by Neil]






Also rediscovering an old love with old and new colleagues, namely my co-faculty and lecturers at the UP College of Mass Communication, in this crazy year-end gig called Hagikhikan: Faculty Follies. Where we danced. Yes, in public. Twice! last December 15 at UP Theater no less. [photo by Melissa]





Channeling Michael Jackson was a hoot. Here's me leading the Beat It dance number. Can you beat that??? This gave me such a natural high. [photo by our student allie]






Me and Data of broadcomm doing the Shakira song thang. Oh no wait, Ketchup song pala. Regardless, that was one great gig man! Let's do it again next year! Woot!!![photo by allie]









And the year ends with more parties and hanging out with friends. At X's birthday bash in Conspiracy with film majors of yore. You know what, we age well, you guys. I'm just saying hehe.

[photo by Raf]




Old friends meeting new friends. [photo by Raf]









Hanging out with the latest family members of the Linsangan clan during the yearly yuletide reunion. At cousin Liza's in Valle Verde, with cousin Hugo's youngest Magi and cousin James' only child Bella.







Our high school barkada Chielo, in town from Saudi, as we hung out at Cho-Cho's place. Videoke drives us crazy. Thank goodness for wine. [photo by Kuya Brucie]

***

Overall, that was a good year, despite some setbacks. But at least now, the coast is clearer, the view is more straightforward, and there are still so many things to do and accomplish.

As always we take it one day at a time.



[photo swiped from Kakay]