wanna get hitched?

Then go to New York and avoid Baguio. Oh well.

If you don't know what I'm talking about, read my latest POC Pinoy LGBT channel article entitled Marriage (inequality): start spreading the news. Crazy intersection of same-sex marriage news, all in one June pride weekend.

Man I miss New York...

lost kuning-kuning in Times Square (March 2010 photo by x)

And Baguio...

inside Camp John Hay (April 2011 photo by superfriend L)

Haha I didn't realize I had one picture that places me on both spots at the same time pala!

Wearing my I heart NY shirt inside Cafe By The Ruins. Thanks for the photo, love. :)

Ayus!

this just (sinking) in

Because of the whole hullaballoooooo this weekend -- mega/super/mighty-rainy Manila, a threatening fraaaaaaak-not-again-almost-repeat of Marikina Ondoy flooding, an unsure northern exposure trip, and finally undergoing that trip with the whole rainy shebang (along with the other controversies of the Baguio pride festivities woooohoooooo), plus the almost-cancellation of the raison d'etre of that freaking trip (and also catching up with warmhearted welcoming queer kindred spirits in the city of pines whom I love love loooove so dearly and who love me back!!!) -- and the days following that -- facing classes amidst deadlines and covering/participating in the UP Diliman pride march and other pride-related activities -- and generally catching up with life as it "normalizes" (whatever the fuck that means) -- I was just able to catch up on the historic news from New York just about now, after reading the New York Times and other news sources about what transpired there Friday night (Saturday noontime here in Manila).

Yeah, legalizing queer marriage in NYC.

Can I just say wooooooooooooooooooooooooot!

But let me get that straight. In a manner of speaking.

I am one for equality, equity and all that jazz. Not that we queers are all after assimilation with the rest of straight society (as I believe society as a construct also needs major major reinvention), but I am not one to dis others who want to undergo this ritual. I still hold the position I've always held since I was 17 years old (one of two unbending principles of my life: that one, I won't get married ever and I'll fight to death anyone who forces me into it; and two, I won't get pregnant ever and hey, even if I get raped and accidentally get preggy, I'll abort it, no [moral] questions asked, man, so sue me) -- that marriage as an entity needs questioning, challenging and reconstruction, because it is quite a problematic structure for me (as I've personally seen it in my family), especially within the Catholic viewpoint in patriarchal Philippines. But I will support anyone in my queer community who would still want to undergo such a ceremony. Yes, there is diversity in our rainbow community and I uphold it. This is also the belief about marriage we've collectively shared and upheld in my defunct lesbian org UP Sappho before, and I've carried this opinion before and after its demise.

But hey, for all you know, I might also renege on this principle I've upheld if I meet someone whom I believe is worth it, worth popping that question, worth living with for the rest of my life/her life (whichever ends first) or 'til divorce do us part (but just the marriage one; the preggy principle still holds and will never fold). But still, it's good to know that there are places in the world where you could go to have your relationship solidified with such an imperfect love sealant. If not Spain, Denmark, Belgium, Argentina, Canada or Iceland, then hey, Nooyawk!

Gosh. What I'd give to be in Stonewall Inn at that very moment. Very historic. For all of us.

me in front of the legendary Stonewall Inn
along Christopher Street in NYC (March 2010)

Ang saya-saya!

I guess this means those who wanna get hitched na could already do that. Good for them.

As for the rest of us folks here in the third world, well... we still dream. I'm writing an article about this now. Will post when it gets published.

In the meantime, we cheer with NYC. In the end, love should always win, and always prevail, as this surprisingly touching quote sums it up from, all of people, one of the Republicans who voted for the bill, as quoted in that NYT artik above:

With his position still undeclared, Senator Mark J. Grisanti, a Republican from Buffalo who had sought office promising to oppose same-sex marriage, told his colleagues he had agonized for months before concluding he had been wrong.

“I apologize for those who feel offended,” Mr. Grisanti said, adding, “I cannot deny a person, a human being, a taxpayer, a worker, the people of my district and across this state, the State of New York, and those people who make this the great state that it is the same rights that I have with my wife.”

O di ba? Ikaw na, Gristanti, ang wagi! Chos.

there's a little black spot on the sun no more

A couple of days ago, I noticed that my office watch stopped.

self-souvenir from new york city
with a label that says "made in china"
bought for ten dollars inside a store
run by indians within chinatown.
multiculturalism at its finest!

What could it mean?

Hm, nothing. It means the batteries run for a year lang.

And yes, it's Liberty who stopped. Ah, statue state of time? Hm. I wonder.

Wanderlust beckons anew. Do we heed?

If only.

*

But in all honesty, I like the day that just passed.

Aside from watching on the big screen in a Metro Manila theater a very legitimately hot hot hot girl-on-girl make-out and lovemaking session which was not cut by MTRCB (homaygad the girl from That '70s Show is all grown up!!!! Nom nom!), I am at peace knowing that things destined for the future to happen could still be altered, like big time! BIG! What a relief!

And so yes, I am happy now. I guess the antidote for burnout is karma.

Yey!

But for now, we gush:

ahhhh. if i had this girl in between my legs... arrr.
yes, the eyes and lips always get me,
among other body parts. chos.
photo from here.

smoldering! and uncut!!!! ah, good thing i watched
this alone, 'no? no semi-private grabbing happened during
the public screening of this movie. chos! hehe.
photo from here.

even natalie portman can't resist her. who could????
hay aronofsky, henyo ka. review later.
photo from here.

I am *such* a dyke.

Yeah and you love me for it. Chos! Wahaha.

Okay fine laterz! :)

senses sensing

The smell of freshly-cut grass permeates this early afternoon as I type beside the window here in my usual writing nook inside my rainbow reading room, several floors above ground. But I have no indoor or balcony garden. So where is that smell coming from? Beats me.

catching summer sunrises at home
april 2010

There is a huge house beside this side of my condo where I live but there's no grass to cut there. I can see from where I am, yes. I am a peeping tom like that. But nothing kinky, unless someone walks out of their second floor veranda and parades him/herself in some kind of pervy fashion.

Rain should be the one I should smell since it rained quite a few times last night (and I'm guessing early this morning), ruining an early evening plan of trying to go back to my sports park walking routine before the monthly curse arrived. Haven't been able to do anything active, fitness-wise, since last Saturday's (almost) three-class marathon at Fitness First at ABS-CBN branch. No, I'm not a member but my fitness freak friend is, bless her. I'm her guest. After, we drink san mig lite by the bucket(s) and feast on our favorite adobong litid fare, usually at Cubao X. But since we were in the ABS area, we just sampled some new place there, for a change in atmosphere.

*

Yes, still down with dysmenorrhea, the leaflens version, which is instead of having cramps in my puson area, my lower back is the one killing me, hence alaxan is my best friend. And hence, I stay put. Day one of UP registration should be today but it's always an easy day -- seniors and freshies -- during the first day. I'll just go there tomorrow when the real battle begins -- the enrollment of the second and third years. Wish us luck.

And I also have a lot of things on my plate right now, ideally to finish before the weekend comes, since weekend will be a different thing for me, up to a few days, due to an upcoming project I have to attend to. But here I am, blogging. Hm.

I've discussed this curiosity with two of my friends in the past, that whenever I seem to be having a deluge of things to do on my to-do list, which need to be faced immediately, I stop and write, mostly blog. Escape? Procrastinate? Hm not really. I found out that those friends also experience the same thing: one immediately watches movies in a marathon at home, DVDs. The other consumes books, one after the other. Funny that. Me, I write. Hm. What gives?

*

Skies are dark now. In the distance, a low rumbling is coming from the horizon. Another landfall might be upon us here in a few. I'm anticipating it so that I have something fresher to inhale today. The rain breeze somewhat calms me, when I'm inside my home. I don't know why.

But the stars are reminding me, once again, to focus.

Taurus Horoscopes

(Apr 20 - May 20)

Wednesday, Nov 3rd, 2010 -- You might feel conflicted today as your high ideals pull you one way while the practicalities of your current obligations pull you another. If you let your responsibilities slide, you may not be able to take time off to enjoy yourself. Keep in mind that complaining won't help. Don't put off your work; stay focused and accomplish as much as you can.

Okay. That, I will. After this.

*

Well, if there's one thing I miss right now, it's my time loitering around California with my sister and friends, and before that, my time loitering around New York with friends as well.

catching the salinas sunset
at the central coast of california
april 2010

I have yet to write about those two wonderful months, so many insights, thoughts, feelings unprocessed. Much talked about, but not jotted down. Hm, I really wonder why...

I guess it's because verbalizing mere thoughts would make the feelings behind them very real. Honest feelings. Vivid feelings. Perhaps I'm not yet ready to face a few of those honesty and vividness. Thus, they are left unspoken in written word.

Ah, hesitations. Well...

*

a street sunset silhouette in greenwich village
march 2010

What would it take for a person to just up and leave a nest to hopefully cocoon themselves in another nest somewhere out of their comfort zones? This earth sign person is having a hard time dealing with such thoughts, even if this double oxen has been nomadic in her "rootedness" all her life. Oxymoron? Paradoxical? You label it. I'm tired of labels, sometimes, especially as applied to me. Even if those labels purposefully work for me as well.

Ah. Dramatic irony. We live it.

Daily.

*

Friends have been flying the coop for love. It's always about love. It has to be about love. It always was. But is that the only thing that will make us move? Perhaps this is where that song "love makes the world go round" got its lyric. We became transnationals due to our heartbeats. Why is that? And is that the only kind of beat that will make this national go transnational?

As the now preggy Alanis once sang, these are the thoughts that go through my head...

*

Well, don't mind me. I'm just rambling. So many thoughts, so little time. Need to focus on what to write for work stuff, so I have to park these other thoughts somewhere else, somewhere where others could possibly give feedback, in order to help me process some of these thoughts, perhaps. Perhaps.

Feel free to comment.

As for my other focused thoughts, I'll be populating my other blog horcruxes in the coming days. Probably after next week, when the activities ease into my life again as the second semester begins and I face new work challenges ahead of me. For now, this will do.

Inside Stonewall

I promised my friend I'll tell her all about my Stonewall adventures when I was in New York early this year, but I will be reserving that a bit since that's next week's theme for the Philippine Online Chronicles' Pinoy LGBT channel.

[EDIT: The article at POC that accompanies this post is already up entitled Touching Stonewall, touching history. Check it out!]

Yes, this is the gig I've been hinting at for two weeks now. This is it! sabi nga ni Michael Jackson. I learned of a friend handling the editorial gig for this channel and I volunteered to become part of it. Check it out. I write two weekly articles there, one in English and one in Filipino. Feel free to comment and repost/tweet-retweet/share with your networks. Also, please read all the articles in the channel as they present different perspectives and use different voices to tell LGBT stories. Wokei?

But back to Stonewall. I decided to share my photos of the place instead of writing about it here in my blog. And here it is. Most photos are mine while those shots where I am also included are taken by my friend Cenon.

Please don't just grab the photos without permission as the copyright is mine and his. Email me for permission first (leaflens@gmail.com) and we'll discuss those things, okay? Please be professional. Some people have grabbed my photos na kasi before and used them in their own blog posts so I have to warn you guys again to please avoid plagiarizing my material.

Anyway, photo essay na nga lang ang dating nito. Here goes:

Across the street from Stonewall Inn is Christopher Park.
Inside is the Gay Liberation Monument. Ito 'yun: a gay and
lesbian couple stone monument. Excuse the American Museum of
Natural History goody bag; kaka-geek out lang namin ni Cenon
diyan kasi before coming here again.

The Gay Liberation Monument inside
Christopher Park marking the
June 1969 Stonewall Riots. Asteeg.
Dedma sa shadow ko.

So kapag tinawid mo ang Christopher Park
crossing Christopher Street, you head
towards Stonewall Inn na.

This is the second floor area. That exit passageway there
is also the entrance to this rectangular lounge.
I am seated at the end of this long and obviously
old bench seat with some ottoman-like stools
in front of us. Directly parallel to this seat
is the bar on the second floor.

There's that bar. And there's me taking a shot
of my two friends as they answered their Oscar ballot.
I was still enjoying the moment. I can't believe
I'm inside Stonewall!!!

This is the staircase from the ground floor
to the second floor. May taas pa pala ito.
Didn't take photos of the ground floor because
it was too dark. There's a pool table
and a bar and TV, ganun lang.

Oh man, this is cool. Paakyat sa metal stairway ay tatambad sa iyo
ang ilang posters sa walls of their history. Isa ito, from the
Mattachine Society warning hehe. Galeng!

Oh man, I love this. A poster of The Advocate magazine
special when Harvey Milk was murdered.

More posters. Classic old ones.

More posters. Contemporary ones.

Same location and shot angle as the one above, but this time,
the party has started. The two hosts of the evening
took to the stage whenever the Oscars went to commercial.
They threw film trivia and you can win a free cocktail drink
if you can answer one question correctly.

My Oscar ballot.

Indeed.

Galeng 'no? Grabe, the birthplace of LGBT Pride. Bakit nga pala may Oscars? Kasi Academy Awards night 'yan, first Sunday of March when I was there in New York.

So there. Iyan na lang muna ang kontribusyon ko sa pagbati sa buong sangka-LGBT/queer-han ng HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!!!!!!! Sabi nga namin sa UP Sappho Society noon, FEEL NO SHAME FOR WHAT YOU ARE! Word up.

"maalikabok sa pilipinas!"

That is what my Mum always says whenever I complain about things whenever I clean my condo. "Maalikabok sa Pilipinas! Di ka na nasanay." I always complain because I keep the windows closed yet dust still settles in. Kakapunas ko pa lang ng mga surfaces, mamaya andyan na naman ang alikabok. Asar. At least the bedroom is now somewhat dust-free ever since we have been using the aircon we had installed to combat the summer heat. But the rainbow reading room is another story.


That's my writing nook or as my transpinay friend said, rename ko daw na "writing fort" o fortress ba? Something like that. This is inside my other room sa condo, the one I labeled rainbow reading room because it's my library and writing nook/fort and there's a huge, huge rainbow flag up there as decor.

Since I came back from my two-month vacation in the U.S., it's only now that I was able to fix this up, one month after I came back, actually. Since it's hot in here during the summer, I can't do any writing here. But now that the weather is somewhat cooling down due to the occasional rain showers in the metro, it's starting to be comfy again.

I can't decide what to put in the white areas, though. I'm thinking of a collage of sorts from brochures, souvenirs and flyers I collected from my travels but the rest of my U.S. loot still has to be shipped here via mail by my sister. I left a lot of things, including pasalubongs, for fear of being charged extra for overweight baggage. For now, this will do. At least I was able to bring with me some of the brochures of shows we saw in New York, like that planetarium space show at the American Museum of Natural History and some cards from Birdland. My NY-based superfriend K mailed me her Polaroid prints of our Venice Beach lamyerda during our LA Easter vacay, so I used select shots and put them there. I also have two cool ref magnets I bought in Hollywood which I just put on the white board temporarily until I decide who to give it to as pasalubong. Then there's one of the rainbow hologram posters I bought at the MoMA store. I actually have two of that, one of which I'm giving to a friend when we see each other soon.

In school, I also redecorated my faculty room when I went there yesterday, and the front wall of my desk now looks like this:


East meets west in this arrangement, as east pertains to those six cute illustrations I got from my friends in India while that huge crazy one there is from the MoMA stuff which publicizes Tim Burton's awesome, awesome exhibit there. There's also that small rainbow flag I bought at a shop in Christopher Street at Greenwich Village and that Liberty clock I bought in NY's Chinatown. There's also that cool Newton's balance display which demonstrates the "for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction" law which my sister bought for me at the Griffith Observatory near LA. Plus of course that old strip of 16mm test film from the unused footage of my undergraduate film thesis.

Coping, cleaning, cleansing. That's the drama of this day. We're just finishing our cleaning errands then it's off to our latest neighborhood cafe/resto favorite for early dinner. Then maybe catch Sex and the City 2 at the nearby cinema. Let's see.

Ah, this is a good Friday. have a happy weekend everyone! I know I will. :)

of Manila movie marathons and looking for American moviehouses

new blog post up at my film horcrux Leaflens Takilya.

click here to see what i think of going to movie houses in America as compared to having movie marathons in manila.

you are HERE!!!

the ultimate LGBT tourist experience...

leaflens touching base, literally, of Stonewall Inn bar
along Christopher street in New York, site of the 1969 riots
that catapulted the LGBT pride movement into prominence,
bearing fruit the gay pride movement we know now

yeah baby!

yes, i am currently in new york, making lamyerda sa gitna ng greenwich village hehe.

more updates as soon as humupa na ang mga bagay-bagay dito hehe.