jumpstart my art

And I'm quoting-paraphrasing another song there in the title. Natalie Cole, pare. Batang '80s din ako eh bakit ba.

Ayan. Handa, awit.





Heniweys, I needed to jumpstart my brain today before working, especially since I came from a semi-sick weekend. Been trying to fight off this nasty nasty cough that developed last week, during the time I had an urgent lecture gig pa naman. Fine timing, beks. Fine timing. But since the show must go on, on we went pa rin sa lectures, last week and even kahapon. Pero dahil recovering pa rin yesterday, napagod yata ang lungs ko kaya knockout ako agad kahapon. Not to mention na darating din pala today si monthly curse, kaya ayan, double KO lola mo. Leche.

Loving these travel lecture gigs courtesy of the DepEd-attached agency
called National Council for Children's TV. I love it that I get to
teach my media literacy advocacy to kids who need it.
Getting paid to do what you love is just great.
This here is for the NCR leg, Marikina chapter last week.

Ito yung biglaang sked last week, at sa Muntinlupa pa talaga.
Biglaan, as in, mam puwede ka bukas?
Hahaha kaloka, pero isa pala ito sa pinakamasayang division.
Sa traffic pauwi nawala ang boses ko, bad aircon
ng ride exacerbated the sore throat I've been
feeling days before. Kaya na-double whammy lola mo.

And yesterday's show that must go on, at the heart of Manila pa naman.
Sarap sanang maglayag doon if not for feeling sick
and the public transport strike pa.
Kaya uwi agad after lecture, pahinga fatale.

At muling nanumbalik ang magic antidote sa cough
na nadiskubre ko noong nagtatrabaho ako
fulltime sa feminist NGO noon:
 si Pei Pa Koa. Works like a charm, mga bes.
At available na siya sa Mercury yipeee!

Buti na lang at wala ulit skeds this week for lectures. But I'm bracing myself in the next 2-3 weeks kasi sunod-sunod ang peg. Kaya kelangang mag-ipon ng lakas at boses. Beat this fucking energy gap, beks. Huhubelles.

But I have to face my other gigs din naman kaya tuloy pa rin ang life. Ito nga lang ginagawa kong documentary film, masyado siyang kumakain sa headspace nang bongz, lalo na't I have to digest many concepts and jargon of a sector and make it palatable to all. At alam naman natin minsan ang development sector, bongga sa concepts na hinahagis-hagis lang left and right, mga concepts na hindi normally available sa mga garden variety conversations in life pero sine-sepak takraw lang nila like that. You know, mga terms like development justice, my fave capacity building,  or institutional architecture,  saka international collective advocacy, mga ganyan. Haha grabe I lurv my life: one end of the spectrum is kababawan showbiz pop culture and the other is palaliman sa konsepto development sector-United Nations level workload while ang midpoint is queer and academic tapos halo-halo na ang gitna hahaha. Brain, kaya mo pa??? 

Kaya yeah, kailangan ng bonggang bonggang buwelo kapag ito na ang haharapin kong trabaho pare. All the time. Para kang nagma-master's degree each time magha-handle ako ng feminist movement work hahaha. Trulagen collagen, 'yan ang feeling -- and I love it naman. Yun nga lang, kailangan ng extra bongz na preps ni headspace. Despite having coughs pa and this freaking dysmenorrhea.

Kaya ayan, kawayan mo na ang kape, beks.

Hellow phow. Geseng.

I love how all of a sudden, life could become quite busy. I was prepared to take it easy this month of Feb actually, which is what I did last January. I was even going back to my literary writings and personal projects I put on hold like decades ago. But no, gigs beckon, so sige na rin. Hindi tayo tumatanggi sa grasya, ever. Kaya tanggap lang ng tanggap hangga't kaya ng powers. 

Kaya lang, puwede bang mag-function nang walang monthly curse? Leche din kasi ito eh. Timing. Oh well papel. It's hard being a gurl.

Siya, sige na nga. Work na. Nagising na konti ang utak, so tipa na ulit.

Kape pa. 

Second day hey hey-ing

I'm hey-hey-ing right now because of my current status. It's the second day of my monthly curse and goddess knows how my system is screwed up when this happens. Good thing I didn't wake up with dysmenorrhea like yesterday, when I didn't do much except lay down in bed or in the couch watching TV. I hate that. I hate this.

Anyway, today is relatively better and I'm glad. Going back to work I wasn't able to touch since yesterday. I feel iffy when I do that sometimes, like when I know I have to do something yet something prevents me from doing that, especially things that are beyond my control. So I try to just chill and be, even with looming deadlines. When the body wants to rest, let it. So there.

Anyway I also thought of getting back into the groove today by populating my online thought bins again. So here I am. Just wanted to reflect on a few things and share them here.

Coming from a great Friday us-only-date with the girlfie which leads to our beloved coffee-con-chickahan ritual the morning after, it's so great to be rejuvenated this way with your love. As she has her own life to run in her own world-home, so do I. So we make it a point right now to be together, just us, every Friday, and just be us. Until we could be together more, this works for now. And we're happy with what works, because we're really both happy that we work. That us works. That's what I mean.

Yeah, us works. Who woulda thought, eh? We never did. But that's for another post.

Coffee con chikahan looks like this:. 

Peaceful, meaningful, and caring. 

Couldn't ask for more. 

Such simplicity rocks. 

[July 2014 at my sanctuary]

In the meantime, sharing with you one of our "beyond mushy" exchanges. Since we became a couple, we've observed that we could really be cheesy at times. But as I observed, ours is a sophisticated kind of cheese, the one I always joke about on Twitter whenever I say that we are "camembert-ing" hehe. People have often described me as sophisticated, and her as well. So I guess the combination of two "sophistications" could produce such...leveled up category of cheesiness? I don't know. O baka inaaliw ko lang sarili ko ng sobra. Sabagay, siya rin.

Last summer, over our usual intellectually stimulating mealtime convos, we talked about how we view being proprietary in a relationship. And I was amazed by the agency she put in the relationship, like who has real agency, or how proprietary relations are handled and such. And I said that that would make for a good article in the future, so I jotted it down. And yeah, in my Relationship 2.0 series for POC, I did just that: made it into an article. You can read that here. And also see that here, as I shared it on IG as well. During her second day, it was her turn to hey-hey it, and it so happened that she read my article and felt like reaching out.

So yeah, that's how we roll, I suppose. I guess this is what happens when like-minded individuals finally fuse. Not collide this time, but fuse. And not morph into one as well, but still, fuse together, two-in-one. That sort of thing. We're peas in a pod, as we often conclude. And we're liking it, very much.

So good morning. A toast to simple joys, to waking up, and to being free.