17 July 2005

brain off brain off brain off pleeeeeeeaaasseee

i just checked my old blog and was surprised to see that it got 1000+ visits! the last time, i mean. wow. andami palang nakaabang sa blog ko???? o baka di pa nila nahahanap itog redirected blog na ito. strange. and yet, this site counter says since feb, mga 2000+ ang hits nya. hm... asan na yung mga tao sa old blog? strange...

anyway, just trying to get my mind tired. my body and spirit is sooooooooooo exhausted. super exhausted today. the mind is still as active as ever. i really hate that. what can i take or do for this???? i hate it. sana may off switch ang brain or autopilot na puwedeng pindutin para huminto sa paggana tapos tutulog ka muna, parang nire-recharge na cellphone or something, o kaya pinapatay mo cellphone para ma-conserve battlife or something. basta, you know what i mean. i want my mind to rest, for once in this lifetime. since i started puring stuff out in journals back in college, i noticed hindi na siya humihinto sa paggana. hay... is that good or bad? some people reading this surely babatukan ako kasi i'm talking nonsense. but then again, yan na ang proof na gumagana endlessly and brain ko. hay. hm. booze? yah. will check the pantry and make a mix muna. nuninuninu...

well, just to make me sleepy, i check my emails and yahoogroups discussions plus browse through my friends' and acquaintances' blogs. syempre polluted full of neil gaiman stories ang blogista manila ever. a friend got neil to hug her. awwww. another friend was hugged by neil (initiative from him). that's really nice. another friend had a friend who gave him calamansi juice. a friend of a friend interviewed him in a radio station that their family owns while a handful of friends took advantage of that and went to the station to take pictures and be fangeeks. ayuz.

interesting ano? i wonder if ever there will be a filipino writer who will have that kind of response sa local audience. i mean, when jessica hagedorn was here, hindi ganyan. same with the other fil-am writers who have ben making us proud, but most haven't heard of them yet. tsk. bino who? they'll ask. it's true yata yung theory ko dati. kami-kami lang writers ang magkakakilala and read each other's work. ngyar. totoo ba yun guys? no, not really naman. marami rin akong nabasang noypi na di ko kilala at oks naman. kaya lang delinquent literary person ako lately at wala pa ko masyado binabasa ulit lately. o sinusulat ng husto. may manaka-nakang tula tula at nagugulat ako doon kasi i am by nature a fictionist... but it's a nice surprise nonetheless.

that's the difference with being a filmmaker. make a docu and you share it with a strange bunch of people and they interact with it in a way they can. i remember nung sinalo ko yung isang docu project dati about farmers protesting, pinalabas sa farmers iyon and it was a big hit. syempre kasi they saw themselves in it. pero nonetheless, alam moyun, someone unkown to you watching your film. just like a singer friend who performs and then pagbaba sa stage, people come up and tell that masaya sila sa musical experience and thankful naman ang performer sa ganun. parang may ganung feeling ang pagpapalabas ng film or video work. parang nung pinalabas namin yung short avp about UP Sappho during a lesbian pride month party years ago, many dykes came up to me and said "ganda! igawa mo rin kami ng ganyan!" what a very satistying validation of my art-craft. truli bakla, touched lola nyo. ever.

i guess that's why despite of fucking up dvd folio compilations-harassed looking for door to door deliver for sunday-photocopy and ringbind sa other part of this town-skipping lunch-tensed-up breakfast-nearly fighting with jowa adventures to hope that a bigger project of yours gets realized big-time, keri na rin ang earth for now because the thing is, you get to get a chance. and that's what i did today. i hope it pays off. super.

kaya i need to make way for this. now or never? hindi naman. now at now na! is more like it. minsan aakalain mo imposible. pero minsa, ang sarap ng pay-off. delicious man. delicious.

anyway, a friend at the other side of the world is going ballistic as we speak because the latest harry potter book is coming out. as in mega-nuts ang lola kay harry and preyns. almost 1.5k sa national kanina. will wait to borrow na lang ulit. hm. magka-libog na kaya sila this time? inaantay ko lang magka-libog yung mga bata. nagkaka-angst na eh. libog is next. hehe.

i'm in ravenclaw!
be sorted @ nimbo.net

this is where the intelligent people reside. gryffindor? pshew! atapang atao nga sila, di naman nag-iisip minsan. nadumihan na bago maisip ang solusyon hahahahaha. ang taray ng lola.

pero pucha panoorin niyo itong spoof ng snl starring lindsay lohan as hermione hahahahaa grabeh worth the wait, kakatawa. tangina tawa ko ng tawa. tangina talaga yung snl nakakatawa ever hahaha.

hay nakuh. turn this brain off na nga munah! nyeta. need to sleep.

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