26 March 2015

system reboot, properly

Just finished brunch earlier and I'm still resting here in bed. It's a Thursday, a few winks past noon here in my sunny city, and I'm still recovering from some sort of health attack last Monday.

Been down with something and it doesn't feel good. My stomach's upset but I'm glad it's getting back to business with that part. But this also means that I've conditioned my body to minimize its intake, and I'm planning to keep it that way and maintain it for the rest of the summer. In a way, this health crash is sort of a systems reboot of sorts, for my body and perhaps my brain and soul as well. My body hasn't been happy lately, because of inactivity and stillness. That's why we're trying to change that hopefully before the summer sets in, but most probably it's this summer that this will take into full effect.

 Hello Yakult, we meet again. And Buscopan. 
Bananas from my babe.

But my soul is happy with this reboot, yes. Because it was taken cared of by my favorite partner soul of late, the one who has been making me superbly happy with my latest relationship reboot. I like it that she has been so attentive and caring to me whenever I get sick like this. I try hard to reciprocate even if sometimes my nurturing side is somewhere on the, let's say nontraditional style of sorts. Like I can't really cook so well and shiz, but she can. You know, stuff like that. I don't know, but small things like this, like taking care of one's partner when she is sick, is somehow big to me, especially if you've been following this space where I've shared several horror stories about this venture with the past women who shared a life with me, ever so briefly. 

I guess it really is different to be with a girl who gets it, who gets how to take care of a partner with love and care, like genuine love and care, instead of taking care of someone because it's an obligation to meet because you are partners. I don't want to be anybody's obligation and I certainly as hell don't want to be anyone's burden. This is why when we were beginning to share a life together, my sweetheart and I had to readjust to this new cha-cha of care we both have in our lives. 

Kahit simpleng sopas lang na ganito ang ihanda niya, 
malaking bagay na siya para sa akin kapag may sakit ako. 
At least hindi niya ako iniiwanan kapag nakahiga at 
namimilipit ako sa sakit ng tiyan di ba, 
o kaya hindi ako hihiritan ng 
"Tumayo ka diyan, labanan mo!" 
Mga putangina talaga yung mga ex kong 
pangit na hayup ano? Lolz nakakawala ng 
zen mode wait lang.

Like me, for instance, I just tend to keep this sickness thing to myself and I tend not to rely on other people to make me well. It's a dance I've mastered already so imagine the adjustment to this new two-step. But it's not such a huge adjustment after all, because my dance partner leads me well at times. She knows when to skip, hop and jump, and knows when to dip me as well. Yes, I dance with this one quite well. Thank you, universe. 

I once voiced this out to her, that I may not be taking care of her well like she takes care of me from time to time. And of course, she debunked that. She says I do have my own brand of caring and nurturing, and of course it's never a competition so there's no comparisons. I guess I just didn't want her to feel uneven when it's her turn. But I trust what she says. Yes, I guess we all have our own brands of alaga at aruga in us. In all of us. I'm just so elated that I found the compliment of mine. 

One day at a time, beks. This really means now. My mottos in life, huh? Paisa-isang araw at mararating din natin ang paggaling. Eto na nga at naghahanap na ako ng mga usual comfort foods ko, pero uunti-untiin pa rin ang intake. Nakaalalay pa rin ang sweetheart ko sa lagay ko, at dahil doon, napapalagay naman ang kalooban ko. Sarap lang nito. Hay, laking ginhawa. Siya nawa.

Sige subukan ko munang tumipa ulit ng trabaho kahit nakahiga pa rin at nagpapahinga sa kama. Hindi talaga yata uso sa akin ang pahinga, 'yung pahinga na walang ginagawa. Kahit nga nakatunganga ako dito at pinapalipas ang hilab ng tiyan, ang dami ko nang naiisip gawin sa utak ko. Sabagay, ganyan naman talaga ang utak ko lagi. Di na ko nasanay.

Sige mamaya ulit. 

Only my sweetheart hugs me! Echoserang fairy lolz. 
Mamaya mananawagan ulit ako hihi. :) 
#happyhuman #simplejoys

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