16 February 2012

How do you measure the life of a woman or a man?

Waking up this morning, I got this in my FB mail:

Funny kind of humor, we queer women have, eh? This from a girl who reminded me of what transpired during Velentine's Day last year, when she went down on one knee, surprising me in the middle of a mall(!) and gave
me a flower (picked from our common friend's bouquet given by her boyfriend, duh hehe) and this dude:

Meet Lamig Lang, the cousin of Wait Lang.
This is like me in winter-covered cities, she said.
True, true. (June 2011)

He came with a card that said "Be mine." Of course, given our run
ning discourse of love and property in relationships--especially our running critique of it--it was a funny-slash-intellectual kind of thing-exchange we nerds and geeks do. Geek humor. But I knew it was a bit half-meant, even if we both denied it... well... so that was that.

And then about two years ago, I remembered my ex of almost two years giving me this:

A VDay gift made with her hands, inspired by her heart. This alone was enough to tide me over to the next VDay I was going to have with her, which eventually
became the last with her as well. Well, that was 2009-2010 for me. Ancient history.

And now, this year, I get this:

Telecommuting love (Feb 2012)

From someone who sings her love not just from her heart but fro
m her soul -- the depths of it.

And you know what? My soul listened, as well. And it's loving what it's hearing. Music for the mind, the heart, the soul. I am at peace. No, I don't think it's fast. Life is just short, is all. If something good comes, enjoy it. What have I been saying all this time in this space, di ba? LIF

I am, universe, I am. Thanks. Hey you, thanks, too.

Come to think of it, VDay isn't much of a burden for me, after all. Never was. Either I have a healthy set of friends who could criticize it intellectually/poke fun at it and at the s
ame time embrace/appreciate it (yeah, we're not very cynical or jaded, just critical haha!), or I have things to do that I love doing which make VDay eventful to me, partner or no partner, date or no date. Like I remember being plunged into my first foray into directorial work for TV during these VDay times more than half a decade ago that, even if I was dating around those times, I preferred to rest and sleep because I was juggling two full-time work then (teaching and directing) which made my body (especially my liver) suffer. Overload. Ah, being mortal and its limits! Bah.

First time directing a TV show in my life (left) at Clark Field Pampanga, as my executive producer and our star host
get instructions from the flying school peeps (center) while the cameraman who's afraid of heights heheh
get terrifying instructions from me to shoot from above (right). Malay ko bang may fear of heights siya?
Saka na lang niya sinabi nung nakababa na siya noh! Hahaha! Bait akong direk noh! (February 2006)

And going back to my alma mater... to teach.
Here, during my second year into it. Fresh na fresh pa lola niyo noh,
kasi di pa nabibiktima ng intriga 'yan that time. Cheka! Di nga? Chos.
(February 2006 UP Diliman QC)

And then there was also this time when a fellow writer, who was tapped to edit a special Valentine's Day section in the Philippine Daily Inquirer's lifestyle section in 2008, tapped me to reprezent! lesbian love (read: tokenism? Yeah I don't mind being "tokenized" as "the lesbian writer" hm). And hence, you get this article as I blogged (or this in the actual PDI section). Which eventually became this book anthology. But it's also a lesson for me not to ever ever ever everrrrrrr immortalize my love stories on national newspapers/media! Wahahaha that was the shortest relationship I had, I think (if you compress the actual times we were physically/emotionally connected), and yet it was the most immortalized. Geez! Patay tayo jan teh! Oh well. And part of the reason why I broke up with her I chronicled in another media, here in POC Pinoy LGBT channel (article on the single mom), years later. Well, you love, you learn. And everything becomes fuel for your art. Materyal, teh, materyal. Chos.

By the time the book came out, I already had another girlfriend heheh. Love waits for no one,
even editors and publishers wahaha! Chos. Here at the book launch behind the books
as we listen to another contributor, feminist writer Rina David (left) and hamming it up with
fellow queer advocate and CW classmate mamu Danton Remoto
(middle, with another contrib Alya Honasan nasingit),
another contributor who reprezent! queer writers as well.
And me after the launch, eating somewhere... (October 2008 Powerbooks Greenbelt, Makati City)

Hm. Not a bad summary, eh. Now I know why I'm not such a scrooge when it comes to VDay, the day most of us dread or criticize for one personal/intellectual/philosophical reason or another, regardless if we're single or not. And it's not merely about romantic love or erotic love, but love for one's self and loving what you do, your art, your work, all that stuff. Love is another bottle of ink I dip my pen into, after all, the fuel that drives me to create most times, and I have to embrace it, because I like it so much when it embraces me back, whatever form it takes. This I have come to realize today.

To you all, thank you. Thank you for the love.

Jonathan Larson was right. Measure your life in love.

Love. It's always in season. Let's go harvest.

And then we bloom, bow!
(Feb 2012 at the Marina Bay Sands in Singapore)


  1. This is so heartwarming. Keep it up. Make your heart sing!

  2. ang ganda ng lotus! (tama ba?) i pramis to write a longer commennt pag balik ko. work/duty calls to another location and i still have to empake. paksyet. but i am BERY HAPI for you.. enjoy enjoy lang....oarte... twistedhalo

  3. teynks twist. oi isaw date pa tayo sa peyups pagbalik mo wahaha! kwento kwento ha.

    stilettista thanks! ei beat being jaded huh? esp when we hear cheesy lines in movies haha! ikaw na, ang jumohnlloyd haha! ako din sa weekend hehe.

  4. ahaha! sorta relate to the movie kasi. go! it's fun. thanks for the words of wisdom ha. is that the happy heart talking?

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  6. haha no prob! and yes, it is :)

  7. pwede ba pissballs na lang? at kape?....twistedhalo

  8. haha gora. ikaw pissballs ako kwekkwek. ikaw kape, ako beer. pwedeh?