inter/di-section(ing)/s

just a little before i turn in....into a...tantananannnnnnnnnn....

don't mind me. nababaliw na naman ako. after finishing my term paper for my freaking MA penalty class (yung film subject) hours ago, nagliliwaliw lang ulit ako sa cyberspace kasi alone ako dito sa haus.. da usual reason. nyeta, kayo kaya sumubok ipag-intersect ang third world cinema at ang new/post queer cinema at isentro sa lesbian images in phil. cinema, haaaay kabaliwan galore...pero nagawa ko! hehe. with a touch of.. magic. ayuz!

hinayang lang ako dun sa creative writing class ko kasi di talaga kaya ng powers ko na tapusin ang young adult lit novel ko. ayoko namang madaliin dahil mababalaj iyon at wit ko type. bet ko pa naman super ang story kaya i really wanna let that unfurl. so oks lang ang inc, basta before april, submit ko na. hindi naman ako greyd consyus e hehe. i'm after the output. output-oriented pa rin ako, sa trabaho pati sa aral. aba dapat lang!

anyway, just wanted to mention a current high: about this film.

and i so like it because of this comment of a reviewer sa aking favorite reading site:

This is a big budget action film aimed at the widest possible audience, and a lesbian love story stands right in the heart of it. A lesbian's strength and courage inspires a man to start a revolution, and another woman to finish it.

BET!!!! na-swak nya ang gusto kong sabihin. hmmm pag nagkapanahon, susulat ako ng review rin. e yung brokeback nga hanggang ngayon naka-tengga pa eh... haaaaay. sino bang nagsabing bentekwatro oras lang kasi ang isang araw!!!

kasi kasi, busy-busyhan ang drama. sumali din kasi ako sa show na ito. saka na ang kwentong mahaba. until mapanood ko ang episode this coming saturday april 1 10am channel7, di ko pa tunay na mararamdaman na.. kapuso na ako hehe. :P

kaya nood na lang kayo.

anyweys, gusto ko ring batiin ang long overdue na pagsali ng aking preynd na si kerol sa blogosphere sa pamamagitan ng kanyang pop feminism blog. go girl! matagal mo na dapat pinamamahagi ang iyong mga muni-muni sa madlang pipol! kung di ka pa napasali sa isang blogging and podcasting seminar... hehe. uy turuan mo ko magpodcast ha hehe :P

hay miss ko nang manood ng live music gigs. kelan ba ulit tugtog? hm.

up next: checking of full-length scripts! bakit kaya ang daming nag-inc ngayon? hm.

a small ek about the past thesis defense: daming gagandang works this sem. bet na bet ko ang dalawang films dun. as in film, 16mm and 35mm, grabe biased pa rin ako sa film look na tunay, dedma sa 24p. pero anyway, labs ko ang almost all of my thesis defense advisees. they did well, and i'm proud of them kiddies. pasaway nga lang minsan pero sige na rin. ganyan talaga ang life.

hay grabeh. hindi yata matutuloy ang binabalak kong beach getaway... pero di bale na. tignan natin ang life bago magsalita ng tapos...

sige tulog muna ko. akala kasi ng ninang ko di na ko natutulog hehe. zzzzzzzzz
 

of burning bridges and preserving ties

sometimes, there comes a point in your life when you have to choose between two things. usually, it's the lesser of the two evils. sometimes, you just think that you better go with the flow and leave your past behind eklat. or sometimes, you are jolted to move forward instead of frustratingly wallowing in the cesspool of kaplastikan and gutlessness. most times, decision-making paralyzes us, but we do have to choose and go on with our lives.

there have been several episodes in my short life already when i had to choose between things, and even people. each decision is difficult. choosing is always a hard thing. but not when people are prompting you to go.

but in all of the work places i've temporarily joined and permanently left, i try to retain the ties with the people i met there, especially the ones i truly valued. some of these ties are still alive to this day, rehashed or refurbished in one way or another, but the line is equally maintained on both sides. and i am just happy with that. however, there are some work places where i didn't really care to keep ties. i guess the feeling is mutual.

but what if it isn't mutual pala? aye, there's the rub, 'ika nga ni hamlet.

was checking my mail earlier and found in an egroup about some gig where friends belong. i don't check egroups regularly because i prioritize personal mails first. i was just surprised to find out that a person i treated as a friend had an event and didn't invite me personally to it. i then wondered why...

i guess it's because this friend remains close to a handful of people whom i chose to leave before. the decision to leave was a professional one which turned to personal later when they made it personal. an eye for an eye, n'est-ce pas? i never did burn my bridge connecting to this handful, but i wonder why they treat it as such. i wonder if they also proclaim it as such to others? i guess i need not wonder, knowing now that their true colors have been revealed and only want self-preservation and pushing self-interests at the expense of other people.

i guess i've had it with keeping ties with people who only want self-preservation, even to the point of using the so-called "victim mode" to elicit sympathy for them and contempt for others who supposedly victimized them. what's the use of sticking around with people like these? i really never knew of their real motivations but one thing's for sure: they sure are judgmental. and to think that they should all look at themselves more in the mirror. perhaps they should do the judging on the image/s they see in that darn mirror, see what they're up against, and see what they're truly made of. maybe they should try scratching beneath the surface of their skins so they'll closely see what they've been covering there all this time.

it's just strange. some even openly declare their tie to me. why do they have to do that? a reminder that they're still there. para que? i never really understood why they have to declare it when in fact their presence has been absent for so long in my existence, and it wasn't my doing but theirs. so i really am baffled by such declarations. truly baffled.

it's just strange because if these handful only knew what each of them was really saying about each of them! i've heard all sides. like how so and so is such a so and so, and how second so and so finds first so and so so...something. if they only knew the dirt and crap that they are throwing at each other in other's presence. i was just unfortunate enough to have heard all their sides. it's just so funny. and they are all close 'til now. if only they knew the crap that each of them said about each of them. it's strangely funny in a quentin tarantino type of way. i kid you not. i've always hypothesized about how our minds are like recorders and if only the lens of or eyes can do a playback of what we saw and even what we heard. we are all walking vcrs. but unfortunately, memories can't be downloaded. unless you're johnny mnemonic. which i am not. how i wish i were.

no wonder they run way from the people, even places of their past. and if they meet these people from their past, they try to get past by them na lang. without a word of greeting, even a civil one man lang. as in dedma. no pansin. it's just strange to develop a relationship that goes from kuwentuhan mode ever to not even looking you in the eye when you see each other in a similar space (that is, if the person doesn't run or turn back when the person spots you, as in really run! i've seen that done, man. aminin!)

i guess this is totally okay, to have them dedma you like you weren't friends before or something. but what irks me is if they spread rumors about me and my loved ones to others, to make them look good and to make my friends look bad. how pathetic can that be? what kind of lowlife will succumb to that activity? sadly, there are people who do this. come to think of it, i'm now glad that they think i burned the bridge between us. i don't need to lug around the charred remains for all eternity - they do, because the burning was made by them.

people often wonder why i have such a vast network of friends and acquaintances, or as my friend dré said, "like god on friendster." this is precisely because i don't burn bridges. but if it's time to burn a bridge, i make sure that i keep a lifeline open to a few acquaintances on the other side to keep the lines open. communication lines are easier to maintain than bridges sometimes, so this is a practice i've kept.

it's just a pity because these people, they think they are the ones who are being put aside. maybe they should rethink their strategies of living their lives in order to find out the truth about themselves. i really pray to my goddess that they seek enlightenment soon, before it's too late for them. (some already say it is too late already, but i positively believe that everyone can have a second chance at doing something right).

well, enough of this warbling. life has to go on, even if some people don't act so. mine has to, and like i amateurly versed a long time ago:

so on with my life i go
just counting blessings
and less regret to show
i will be happy
i will be safe
i will be strong
and with this i know
i am not wrong.

word.

disconnectivity charges

pocha kala ko katapusan na ng aking net life pansamantala. nagalaw ko kasi yung external modem ko kaya waaaaah pero reset lang pala ang sagot hehe. whew.

ayoko lang nababalaj ng mga hardware eklats (or even software for that matter) ng teknolohiyang ito ng kompyuter. hirap lang kasi minsan, natatali na tayo sa ganitong klase ng pamumuhay.  parang di na lumalampas ang araw na di ka magchecheck ng email, mag-surf ng kaunti tungkol sa anumang impormasyon, at kung anu-ano pa. pero masaya rin naman. nga lang, tech-dependent na tayo.

kaya minsan maganda pa rin ang may panulat na kuwaderno at tinta. kasi yun, puwede mong dalhin kahit saan - sa bundok, sa tabi ng dagat, sa bagong lugar, sa resto, kahit san ka mapaupo at mapasulat. old fashioned pero gusto ko.  saka kolektor kasi ako ng magagandang kwaderno e. kaya like ko.

pero siguro, iba pa rin ang bilis ng teknolohiya. ngayon nga, nagmumuni-muni akong bumili ng palm top na tinatawag, at least para man lang makasulat ng impormasyon habang nasa labas na halintulad sa teknolohiyang ito sa bahay pero di singbigat ng laptop at di sing-arte. hm... parang naiinggit ako sa aming upcoming dean kasi pag nagkakalikot sha ng palm eklat niya sa faculty meetings hehe. pero maliban sa inggit, nakita ko ang bilis at gamit/silbi nito. kaya eto, muni-muni mode...

ano ba ang marerekomenda niyong modelo? at magkano? sana mura lang. e kung mura, ano naman ang features nito? gagamitin ko lang naman sa tatlong paraan: panulat ng salita (documents), pang-ayos ng iskedyul, at taguan ng mga contact numbers na kailangan sa lyf.

sagot! :) plis. dito o sa leaflens sa gmail. oks?

*

update: pinakawalan na rin naman si jesse (see previous post below) pero akbayan is filing countercharges. bwakanang----dapat lang noh! si riza naman ang pinik-ap nila eh! nyetah!

i hate this government.

they arrested my friend! + explorations on feminisms = i!#%!*&?!!gma

shyet silah!



taken from the inquirer website.

*

for dat, talagang kelangan nang pag-usapan ang mga bagay-bagay. dalo kayo dito ha, dito tayo mag-chikahan:


EXPLORATIONS ON FEMINISMS SA PANAHON NI GLORIA:

A Women's Night Of Music-Dance-Poetry

Mag:Net Café Katipunan joins the celebration of March as Women's Month. Their usual Wednesday Jazz Nights will be reinvented a bit to accommodate the celebration of "Women's Night of MusicDancePoetry” on March 8, 2006.

This is part of BahayNiCarol's Feminista Series where women from different art fields come together to perform in solidarity. The first Feminista Series gathering took place last October 2005 at 70s Bistro carrying the theme of "feminine sensuality." With these politically-tense times, the performers will explore the meanings of feminisms through their artistic expressions. Everybody is welcome to attend, feminists or non-feminists alike – and also men.

Headlining this special Mag:net event is Pinikpikan's enigmatic vocalist-chantress Carol Bello. She will go acoustic and perform her original compositions of women empowerment songs as well as do covers of favorite jazz and blues tunes.

Accompanying her is the young female (percussion-intensive) band composed of UP-based musicians Divine Leaño, Kwame and Frances Escape. Former Agaw Agimat musician Teta Tulay will also jam with the group.

Appearing as Ms. Carol's special guests is her fellow fearless and fun feminist performer, folk-rock musician Babes Alejo with her renditions of Nina Simone tunes. UST professor/writer Nerisa Guevara will also share a dance performance. Poetry/fiction excerpts will be shared by lesbian feminist writer libay linsangan cantor.

Other surprise guest performers will also join and jam with these ladies to celebrate the International Women's Day (IWD) on March 8. An Open Mic will follow and everyone -- men included -- are invited to contribute to the sharing.

The show will start by 9:30pm. Tickets are P150 each (P50 consumable). Mag:Net is located in front of Miriam College along Katipunan Avenue in Quezon City, beside Rustan's Fresh. See you there!

makibaka sa kanta: women's night of music at mag:net katips

punta kayo. idaan na lang natin sa kanta ang mga saloobin. ha? ah basta. watch. will be there if you wanna know. i want to cap this women's week ek with some chilling out with music and nice food at mag:net.

WOMEN'S NIGHT OF MUSIC
FEATURING PINIKPIKAN'S CAROL BELLO

Mag:Net Café Katipunan joins the celebration of March as Women's Month. Their usual Wednesday Jazz Nights will be reinvented a bit to accommodate the celebration of "Women's Night of Music."

This event is the second of its kind in the Feminista Series where women-focused works and women performers will gather together in an arts-performance celebration.

Headlining this special event is Pinikpikan's enigmatic vocalist-chantress Carol Bello. She will go acoustic and perform her original compositions of women empowerment songs as well as do covers of favorite jazz and blues tunes.

carol with kwame, divine, frances

Accompanying her is the young female (percussion-intensive) band composed of UP-based musicians Divine Leaño, Kwame and Frances Escape.

Appearing as Ms. Carol's special guests are fellow fearless and fun feminist performers, folk-rock musician Babes Alejo with her renditions of Nina Simone tunes and AR Sabangan who is formerly from the activist vocal group Patatag. Other surprise guest performers will also join and jam with these ladies to celebrate the International Women's Day (IWD) on March 8.

babes

The show will start by 9:30pm. Tickets are P150 each (P50 consumable). Mag:Net is located in front of Miriam College along Katipunan avenue in Quezon City, beside Rustan's Fresh. To view a map of their location, please visit their website.

See you there!
 

ART-ACADEMIC-AUDIO-ADVOCACY ON WOMEN'S MONTH

PLEASE WATCH. MASAYA ANG MGA ITO. DESPITE WHAT'S GOING ON SA BANSA... HAY, DEDMA MUNA.


March is recognized worldwide as Women's Month and women celebrate International Women's Day officially on March 8.

We would like to invite you to several entertainment and academic activities in and around the UP Diliman campus in Quezon City.

FILM. For starters, the 16th year of the International Women's Film Festival (IWFF) of the UP Film Institute (UPFI) will celebrate the month with 9 days' worth of films (full-length and shortform film and digital narratives, documentaries and other genres). All showings are scheduled from 2pm, 5pm and 7pm. All foreign films have English subtitles. Some screenings are for free.

The IWFF opens with the French Film Cause Toujours! (Mice and Mite) on March 1. Other films in the line-up include the following:

Joan Chen's highly controversial (think "banned in China for sexual content") directorial effort Xiu Xiu: The Sent-Down Girl (March 2); actress turned director Sylvia Chang's Tempting Heart (March 4); Ellen Ongkeko's part-gay-themed digital full-length film Mga Pusang Gala and Ishmael Bernal's classic Relasyon (Affair) (March 6); the enchanting Australian film The Piano with Holly Hunter (March 7), also the Spanish film Para Que No Me Olvides; and the lesbian-themed 2004 film from India called Sancharram (The Journey) on March 9.

The life of women's rights advocate Hiratsuka Raicho of Japan is the subject of the full-length documentary In The Beginning Woman Was The Sun. This will be shown on March 4.

To top this cinematic treat, there will be a special advance screening on March 8, 7pm of North Country starring Charlize Theron and directed by Whale Rider filmmaker Niki Caro. Tickets are available for 100 pesos only.

For a complete list of films and their schedules, please call the UPFI Cine Adarna 918500 or visit the website http://www.upd.edu.ph/~film_institute/.

FORUM. As part of the IWFF, the UPFI will hold a forum to discuss "The Consciousness of Women in Film" on March 3, 2pm. Featured in this panel are Indonesian visual artist Popi Primadewi, Iranian filmmaker Aniseh Shah Houseini, Dr. Carol Sobritchea from the UP Center for Women's Studies, feminist poet Marra Lanot, art critic/ professor May Datuin, UPFI director Prof. Anne de Guzman, and indie filmmakers Ellen Ramos and Sigrid Andrea Bernardo. This forum is open to the public.

LECTURE. UPFI visiting research fellow Michael Hawkins, a PhD history candidate from UCLA, will deliver a lecture on March 9, 1-4pm at the UP College of MassComm auditorium. His paper is entitled "I Learned It From The Movies: The Women-In-Prison Film Genre and the Co-production of Spectacle." This event is free and open to the public.

MUSIC. Pinikpikan Band's vocalist-chantress Carol Bello will headline the Women's Night of Music on March 8, 9:30pm at Mag:Net Café Katipunan. Joining her as guest musicians are fellow fearless feminist performers Babes Alejo, AR Sabangan (formerly of Patatag) plus young UP-based musicians Divine Leaño, Frances Escape and Kwame. Surprise guest performers will also join and jam.

Tickets are P150 (P50 consumable). Mag:Net is located in front of Miriam College along Katipunan, beside Rustan's Fresh.

THEATER. A play based on the life of comfort woman Lola Rosa Henson's autobiography is currently being staged at Ateneo's Gonzaga Hall Theater and also in Miriam College High School and will run every weekend of March. Entitled Comfort Woman: Slave of Destiny, it is written by Racquel Villavicencio and directed by Missy Maramara. Please call 09175279373 or 09223075311 for more details on the playdates and ticket prices.

HAPPY WOMEN'S MONTH!