24 August 2005

just a little before i turn in

it's a bit early for my clock to sleep (10p+ as i write) but i think i have to in a while. going online is actually my lullaby that makes me fall asleep.. in a manner of speaking. had a very harrowing day as usual. wednesdays are always like that for me since the start of this sem. don't ask why; it just is. lagi ako nagkakasakit, natatapat sa araw na ito, mga meetings and stuff, basta sabay-sabay at patung-patong minsan. i don't really like it. that's why wednesday is my least favorite day of the week this sem. i hope next sem improves.

got my period today, maybe that's why i'm bitching. my back is bitching hurting because of this. monthly curse, as i named it. parusa talaga maging babae sa panahong ito. tangna. my spine hates my vagina right now. i have to back off lest they start fighting. patay ako nun.

so i can't stay long online because of this. just a few notes here, check a few emails and that's it. bukas na ko magsusulat. i'm trying hard not to drink any more medicine to make the pain go away. uminom na ko kanina papasok e. god, that was a bitchin' time earlier. buti na lang nag-alaxan na ko before riding the taxi to peyups. mega-sakit. kung wala lang cmc faculty meeting kanina e, di na ko tutuloy pumasok.

*

"with a smile" by the eraserheads is playing right now at myx. songs like these make me believe that ely buendia is a good songwriter indeed; he hits the spot. he's hitting it right now for me with this song. just when i was about to type in how much i feel so lonely right now (being alone in the house plus having the monthly curse plus having a bitching day etc etc), the song kinda makes those things float away. not totally vaporize, but just, you know.. lifted from me, like precipitation. it's hovering around but at least it's not in me, get the drift? so in that sense, the ereaserheads helped. thanks for that. i needed that today. right now.

speaking of e-heads, i think i saw el bimbo girl wena basco yesterday in masscomm, but i might be mistaking her for someone else there. ewan ko lang. o may doppelganger sya. but a definite blast from my past was seeing miss chit earlier at the faculty meeting. new faculty pala siya this sem sa journ dept. good for her. she greeted me kanina with a smile, and that was nice. for those who don't know, she was our editor sa PINOY TIMES before.

*

wow pare, the jets is on myx. tangna 80s. i think they're the first band i ever watched live, at the araneta coliseum when i was a very impressionable kid (hmm teka, or was it menudo with the very young ricky martin?). i remember liking this band becuse they have catchy danceable songs plus it was the first time i saw someone play the drums live and they're not blotchy caucasians. before that, i just used to enjoy seeing drummers on tv (esp women drummers) like the bangles' drummers and my adolescent film heroine watts (mary stuart masterson) in the film, um... shit, no na nga yun? where lea thompson played the popular girl named amanda jones? and eric stoltz was some redheaded dork and elias koteas was a punk kid... tangna i can name the characters but not the title... basta "something" is in the title 'ata.. three words... aarrggh hindi ako makakatulog kakaisip nitohhhhh!

wow el de barge naman. music of my childhood talaga ini. i think i'll be falling asleep nicely tonight. none of those damn sampu sampera remakes. gud!


Your French Name Is
Jacqueline Menard
What's Your French Name?

ang bland naman nyan! j'objecte! je proteste! but i love the graphics. kyut. isang araw, eiffel, maaakyat din kita. buti pa si crestadel may shengen trip right now. ah, the perks of the media...

*

uh-oh... i'm done for. i just lighted up... after about 2 months or so of being... smoke-free. wah.

there must be something serious going on in my subconscious right now... for me to light up. see, i've always been an emotional smoker, not a social one. when i feel shitty, as in strongly shitty, i light up. bad habit, i know, considering the only brand that works for me (gudang menthol lights) is a bit hard to buy in the nearest store and it ain't quite affordable (60 pesos a pack? last i bought... and with the peyups guro salary my friend butch aptly termed dirt poor hehe wala sige sindi la-ang!), i'm not hesitating to light a second stick... hm. i'll ponder on these things later.


How You Life Your Life
You seem to be straight forward, but you keep a lot inside. You tend to avoid confrontation and stay away from sticky situations. You prefer a variety of friends and tend to change friends quickly. Some of your past dreams have disappointed you, but you don't let it get you down.
How Do You Live Your Life?

trueness?
*

vegged out in front of the tv again earlier (with a good reason tonight: the darned backache nga due to the monthly curse) so i sat it out watching SMALLVILLE again. i'm halfway through season 3. one story thread struck home.

clark met some girl who also had some salamat-po-kryptonite thing going on (fullbody teleportation) and the girl saw his superpowers. muntikan na silang magka-inlaban but the girl turned stalker-psycho on him so witengga. lana eng-eng confronted clark later about 'things you told her that you can't tell me' eklat. and clark goes to his mum telling her something to this effect:

i thought lana was the one for me but i can't be honest with her. i thought sarah can be the one but it didn't work out. maybe.. maybe i'm destined to be alone.

arrrghhh *removes knife from chest*

strike close to home. that's what i'm feeling right now. whenever i am with someone, i think i found the perfect woman for me na. and then something doesn't feel right until something doesn't fit na. same old story yata, repeating lang for me. are we superhumans destined to be alone nga? naks naki-relate na sa super-ness ni clark hane? indulge me; after all, this is meblog, ya know. yer trespassin'. joke.

sometimes i feel that way. like i'm looking for someone who should fit me like an arri bayonet mount lens will fit an arriflex 16 cam perfectly. but i know no one has the same jigsaw cut as someone else, so we try to make do with the cut and fit and try to make a nice jigsaw picture just the same. sooner or later, we wake up and realize our pieces don't fit... and we either keep mum about it because we don't like the struggle of untangling or we let the other piece know we don't fit and it causes a commotion to detach...did that make sense? ah. my brain is on doubletime and my hand is on...slowmotion mode... 64 frames per second versus 18 fps. not a good movie to watch. ignore me. i've had one too many tequila/pomelo sunrises na.

look! up in the sky! it's a bird! it's a plane! it's... it's...

but the question to ponder on here is...do we need to have someone? do we need to look for someone?
*
now this one i object to to the max

Am I cool or uncool? [CLICK]
You are Trendy...
You're a trendsetter.. well more of a trend follower. You have a few 'cool' friends who don't mind you hanging around for a laugh. It won't be long before you're climbing the ladder to cool status. Keep up the good work!!
Cool quizzes at Go-Quiz.com

getouttahere.

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