man, this is just so funny it's hysterical. jesus fuck, i have to blog this talaga! like now!
once in a while -- especially when i feel depressed in my current work mode or when i panic that i don't have enough money -- i trip out on job sites and try to browse for jobs that are out there. wala lang, just to see what's out there nga. there might be something better there kaya minsan, i check them out. i have been subscribed to jobstreet like dati pa so i get occasional announcements. i noticed one that said 'wanted tutors' so i checked it out. it's one of those anonymous clients na walang company profile eklat. they're looking for part-time and fulltime tutors daw, 3-4 days a week work, work at home puwede, at tumataginting na 25-30k a month ang take home! so stupid me, pinatulan ko. i texted the number there. wala lang. baka keri yun, malay mo. well, after a while, sinagot ako ng isang text which leads us to the present day.
i had a 2pm appointment with someone and they set it up sa QC sports club. doon galing lola nyo ngayon. punyeta, when i arrived, sandamakmak na tao ang andun. turns out the companies involved are herbalife and wellness works. sounds suspicious! from the sound of it, parang ito yung mga multi-level marketing or networking eklat na ganun! true enough, when they ushered us in there, loads of food/vitamin supplement bottle types were displayed in front katabi ng lcd projector chu. (internal monologue: "inaaay!") and the people handling the thing were dressed like those stupid suckers who hunt you down sa mga sm malls to entice you to try out "family first!" punyetah! a resounding nooooooooooooooooooooooooo! was circulating sa head ko (kinda like when luke discovered darth was his dad "luke, i am your father!" "noooooooooooooooooooooooo!" yes it's the same intensity pare). kaya nung nagkakagulo pa lang sa pagpasok ang mga tao, i made some lame-ass excuse that i'm going to the john. and then i ran away na! hehe hndi naman, naglakad lang ako nonchalantly palabas at diretso sa seattle's best to drown my sorrows on my comfort shake javanilla grande.
thought balloon: hay, the things i get myself into sometimes...
punyeta this is so funny it should be made into a short film. sa dami ng mga jobhunt escapades ko ano, i ought to write a book about the telltale signs if a company is gonna pull your leg lang or not. or coping mechanisms for people during job interviews. like i remember this time when i applied sa global sources ba yun? where a writer friend used to work. interview time came and this stuck-up macho tatay was interviewing me. after the professional questions, personal naman. asked if i had a boyfriend. sabi ko wala. sabi niya bakit, maganda daw naman ako (yuck, DOM DOM alert!). oo passing het lipstick dyke super pa ko nun e. anyway, sabi ko kasi i am not interested in men, i am interested in women, and maybe i should ask if that's going to be a problem for this company. taray ng lola nyo! after that, reject ako. ayos. kasi after i said that, nanigas yung tatay interviewer na parang na-stiffneck siya all of a sudden and he acted like he had a neck brace. it was also so funny but it was also so stupid. hm, smelled of lgbt work discrimination so that darn bill better be passed already!
well anyway, those were the days. these are the days. i just hope that whoever needed a job badly dun sa crop ng people kanina, makakuha sila ng job. kung totohanin ba naman nila yung 25-30k e, why not di ba? kaya nga lang, i shoulda followed my CSI gut instinct when they were texting me details about the job thingie (di nila dinidiretso pero the qualifications they were looking for we so so so vague. as in graduate ng kahit anong course!). hay, tama talaga si idol kong csi catherine willows when she said "when it sounds too good to be true, it probably is!"
korek ka jan sister! korek ka jan!
punyeta manonood na nga ko ng star wars memya! gateway, here i come!