24 October 2014

a flashback breather

A moment of muni-muni before diving to work today.

Today I woke up with two tags from people belonging to two distinct spheres of my life yet both are interconnected by literary writing: one a photo tag on Instagram by my writer-friend from the Dumaguete workshop and one an email with a sudden memory flashback from another writer-friend during her UP workshop days where I was working as a graduate assistant. I ended up missing these two distinct batches of people, my Dumaguete posse and my writer-friend who's also from my lesbian circle of trusted friends. I ended up telling my lezfriend about a sort-of fallout I had with another writer-friend she knew and met before. Strange how things turn in this life, really.

I just paused and reflected on stuff as I went about my ways this morning when I was having my usual breakfast of cereals and now coffee. Telling my friend via email of a painful story made me realize that some stories in my life, small heartaches here and there, are best kept out of my journals. I don't think I want some memories to be stored in my journals but it's good to tap them out of my brain-consciousness, too, via another way: processing and sharing them with my trusted souls. So I guess that's what I did today, shared this not-so-small-but-really-disappointing heartache I had with a writer-friend, which I also shared with my top-of-mind/body/heart trusted soul today, my sweetheart. I also had another mini-heartache I realized yesterday, after attending a queer-themed talk, which I shared with my sweetheart over the phone in our daily talks. And that helped me immensely. No, I don't think I have to make taktak these mini-heartaches on my journals anymore. I don't want them to be logged into the annals of my life's records. I'm just glad that the universe sent me these trusted souls to whom I could also bear my soul when it's hurting. 

I have been so lucky, really, in this life. And this small note is a reminder for me to be always thankful of the ones that stick, and to just let go of the ones that slide. As my sweetheart said, I have to let it go before it causes me physical pain, these mini-heartaches. Yes, here I am, doing that. 

So as I heed my love's advice, I bid you good morning. Life is short; let go.


Sweetheart selfie September 2014 edition. 
Let go and let smiles take over.

2 comments :

  1. Natutuwa naman ako at ang saya saya mo na, Ma'am. Hahaha. That was a lot of Filipino for me but you get my drift. :)

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    1. Haha indeed I do! Long time coming itong contentment na ito. May payoff din naman pala ang ten thousand heartaches in the past. Reaping it well today, well into the future. Thanks teh. Chikakits minsan with the gang :)

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