30 September 2012

Loose ends

Taking a break from work (yes, I freelance, too, so hence, there's no such thing as a real weekend so whatevs) and looking at what the stars have to say about today gave me some kind of thoughts to ponder on.

My Cancer side is the one kicking the reality check thing lately.
Sunday, Sep 30th, 2012 -- You may feel as if your world isn't able to contain you now because you're ready to shed anything that holds you back. Just as a snake outgrows its skin, you, too, have moved beyond your teacher, job or relationship that brought you this far. However, you can't escape before tying up loose ends. Give yourself a break and let your greater ambitions slide for a couple of days while you gain the closure you need.
What a reminder. This whole year has already been a year of tying up loose ends -- or at least trying to. In fact, I so want to tie up these ends so bad around the necks of some loose people in the last two years hehe. But yeah, do you know how it feels to move and function in autopilot mode? I know you do.

yah me so wanna fly away nah 
[August 2011 flying from Davao to Manila]

This is the reason I already want to fly. Maybe this trajectory I embarked on seven years ago is not working anymore. And my soul could feel it, even if my logic is trying its best to fight it. But I guess all it takes is a major "gentle push" to make things happen faster, clearer. Well, what better swift kicker could you possibly have than love?

Call it weird or crazy but I've often rearranged my life cycles to accommodate the whims of the one I love. But as I grew older, I also began to train myself what to accommodate and not to accommodate, especially since I've been meeting women who were initially great to invest in, only to find out that they'll run you to the ground emotionally bankrupt. Never again. 

But this two-year autopilot thing is just too much already. My soul has been yearning to fly, and even if my best of the best BFFs have been trying to convince and help me, I don't know why I could never get up and just grab it and do it. Like I said, kick in the butt is more effective, methinks, and that I got this year. 

To tell you the truth, I think this is also a major reason why she came to my life at the time that she did. The universe wants me to hurry up with tying up those fucking loose ends, before I lose it. And the universe also has this knack of sending people your way that will make you move, or that will matter. Yes, she matters, a lot, to me, and she's making me move. And I like it, very much. 

I just wish that this year would rush itself away already; can't wait to get to the next chapters. And then, let's see where life takes me -- hopefully with her. 

Countdown to just a few more months. Will blink the time off.

Okay, so hello October. Er, beer? 

Ang di natinag sa Matina, bow. 
[August 2011 in Matina, Davao]

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