02 October 2011

lex parsimoniae, lex leaflens

I love Carl Sagan's novel CONTACT -- one of my favorite books of all time -- and when it became a film, I loved it even more because it starred my favorite love of all cinematic time, Jodie Foster. In both artworks, they mention Occam's Razor, which was some sort of theoretical rule of the universe which was said this way:

All things being equal,
the simplest explanation
tends to be the right one.

But a quick wikipedia visit debunked this, as the real words
attributed to the theoretical dude who thought this up was this:

Entities must not be
multiplied beyond necessity.

Although I think it's the thinker/philosopher Bertrand Russell who interpreted it in his own way, who said it the best, as he said:

Whenever possible,
substitute constructions
out of known entities
for inferences
to unknown entities.

Wagi, di ba? Winner, yes? Wagi=winner. Yes, winner, wagi. Unknown entity -- that's what I want to be right now. TO BE ANONYMOUS. AN UNKNOWN ENTITY.

But to put it simply, this theorizing is merely some way of elucidating on the concept of the "economy of explanation" which is what lex parsimoniae means -- the law of parsimony.

In short, explain it to me simply, and gets ko na what th
e universe wants to explain to me without throwing me into a nebula of information. I'll tell you who I am and then you tell me that you have a bigger construct of who I am, without even you knowing me. Hah. Kaloka.

Okay lost ka na ba? All of this rationalizing/theorizing/hypothesizing was done because of an earlier fun yet thought-provoking conversation I had with a lezzie friend earlier over sms texting. Well, it started as fun but eventually, it gave me the intellectual shivers.

Picture this: Sunday morning, rainy Manila, me typing in my computer beside my picture window writing nook, mug of brewed coffee by my side. A text message beeps. I answer my cellphone. A text from a lez friend whom I haven't heard from in ages. Networking commences.

This friend initially wanted me to set up this friend of hers with someone. And of course, being in this lezzieverse we call the Ph
ilippines, referrals are the way to go to find dates, hook-ups and the like. So I said sure, what the hey, I'll ask around. We talked about that and a few other things, until she segued into asking how my own "story" was going, which she termed as "love on demand" or LoD as she brilliantly wrote about before (and P.S. I fucking love that article!). Took me a while to explain it, as I also had to ponder on the situation, really. For lack of a better way of articulating it, I just said that my LoD kind of went on a physical hiatus but an emotional bond is still there within the distance. And then, talk about finding me a date ensued and she volunteered to find me one, as all good lezzie friends do whenever they find out that you're technically single. Well, yeah, technically, I guess. Technically.

I stopped and pondered. Date? What, me? Again? No
w? Hmmmm. Even if I'm not really into looking or dating these days -- since I'm really freaking busy with a lot of things in my professional life and well, there's really a deeper reason behind this, which relates to that LoD thingie up there, but I digress -- I got curious and told my friend to go ahead and find me one, so I said sure, what the hey, no harm in trying, har-har, go, whatevs. It's not like she's going to text people immediately and ask around, right?

Wrong. It turned out to be a lazy Sunday and she texted people in her network. And people in her network replied, asap. And guess w
hat -- I didn't know that I had some sort of reputation going on here. And the funny thing is, I don't even know these people she was texting! But the funny thing is, they knew me. Or perhaps they think they know me, to be more exact, in the sparse explanation of things in this lezzieverse.

Anyway, it's all a matter of perception, as I found out why not many women have been approaching me or whatever, in that aspect, you know. All because it was explained to me in the simplest way possible today. As our conversation went like this:

SMS: Hirap mo palang hanapan ng date, teh! Nasu-spook mga tinatanong ko 'pag sinasabi ko profile mo.

I asked why women were spooked when they hear about me. What a strange curiosity. What on earth could be in my profile that could spook away people? I was like, huh, wtf???

And that was when the economy of explana
tion kicked in, as my friend replied:

SMS: 'Pag tinatanong ang name at sinabi ko, either they've heard of you or read you somewhere. Tsk tsk. Iba pala level mo ha. Teka ha, baka may single pa sa demigods, hanap pa ko hahaha!

So there. So thus, now I ask, who died and made me a demigod, a demigod which women don't want to hang out with, much more c
anoodle with? Geez. What a revelation this day is. It's giving me such an existential angst about my existence. As in, for real!!!

Goes to show why this city, this island, this c
ountry, this continent, might not be the good one for me to be queer. Again, yes, it is being reinforced, during a time when I'm not even contemplating about such things!!! What the frak, man. What the frak. Like a ball just came out of left field and hit me on the noggin, without rhyme or reason. Insert other "I'm clueless" cliches here.

Just because I've done a few things and have had my name all over the media at different points in time, I've become some sort of...I d
on't know. I don't even know what to call me. Or what to call this...this...this. This situation, this dilemma, this problem. What is this??? Qu'est-ce que c'est???

Is it a problem? Maybe. Because come to think of it,
the last three women that made a significant dent in my orbit didn't know zilch about me before we started dating -- like what I basically did (all they knew was I'm in some sort of media work, and I also teach in a uni) and where and from when my queer advocacy stretched onto (if ever they actually had a working knowledge of Manila queer advocacy stuff going on, which they didn't). So thus, yeah, if people know me, who I am, what I have been doing as ____ (fill in the blanks, because I've been doing lots in my life for the past two decades!), then they shy away from me, just because I've been doing such things. Uh, since when did my other life activities impede on my (perceived or potential) love life? Frak. I never knew. Okay Alanis, cue your song here na: And who would have thought...it figures...

I'm stoned, dude. (Marikina April2011)

Geez, this is really giving me such an existential dilemma. The thought of existing and how people perceive you. You don't even project an image yet they have an image of you. Objects in the rearview mirror appear closer than they are. In my case, the car where the rearview mirror is attached has already sped away, just because they saw a speck of me in the reflection. A simple, simplified fucking speck. What. The. Frak.

Hmmm... I don't know what to make of it. I guess I should be flattered that people know me in some sort of, uh, way... But hell, does that mean that I am destined to not meet new people? Or to put it romcom-ically, am I destined to be alone? What a fucking comic book superhero existential dilemma. With great power comes great responsibility. Hello, me no Spiderman. Those destined to save the world are doomed to be alone. Hello, me no Superman or at least Clark Kent in Smallville. Geez.

(somewhere in Teacher's Vill, Aug2011)

I don't know, man. I don't really know. Want to hear your two cents worth about this, folks. Hell, make it two fucking pesos! Okay inflation rates: make it two dollars of whatever denomination -- dollars, euros, whatevs!!! Kebs!!! Just make contact; if not, it's an awful waste of space. (Yes, that, too, is from Contact, one of my favorite quotes there; I am such a fucking geek, man. So sue me.).

Haaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy... weird.

Can I just reduce it to one sentence? Out of frustration? The Philippine lezzieverse sucks right now. There.

Merde. I need a drink.

Or maybe a trip up north?
North of the country?
Or global north?
(Baguio, April2011 photo by superfriend L)

Sing with me, Seal.

In a world full of people
only some want to fly
Isn't that crazy...

Yes, indeed. It is.


  1. Hindi pa rin matakasan ng 'pinas ang small-mindedness. Sigh. Really sucks for people who have something to say and actually say it. I guess if I lived there I'd be in the same situation of being preceded by my reputation. Oks lang. Kaya nga dapat panay ang pag-reinvent, pag pasok sa mga bagong circle. If they can't handle the idea of you, they probably can't handle you ;) And I happen to know you're awesome. You're just in the wrong fucking country surrounded by people who haven't progressed intellectually with age. Kakapagod no? Dito ka na kasi...tagal-tagal... :o)

  2. hay naku teh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sinabi mo. ewan ko ba kung bakit di ko maalis-alis ang pwet ko sa kinasasadlakan ko rito. sige will find na someone who can sponsor a fiancee visa hehe