of honesty and the right thing to do

I nearly became 30,000 pesos richer today had I not been honest with the bank teller. She could have been on her way to not having three months' worth of salaries because of the simple error she made earlier. I deposited 11 thousand in my bank account and I don't know why she saw it as 30,000 or something. I double-checked my receipt and was amazed at the extra amount, so I checked my ATM outside to double-check again. Then I went in and called her on her mistake, which she was ever so grateful for my pointing it out.

Well, had I been a cheat, I would have walked away with that cash without batting an eyelash. But I guess I have a bigger conscience than what I expected. But I did that not to point out her error but it was the right thing to do. We should always go by what the right thing to do is, right?

Oh, I forgot, I'm in the Philippines. That doesn't happen everyday here. Look at the government.

I was just reading the news earlier about the proclaimed partylist winners, and one of them made Mikey Arroyo a congressman again. That really sucks. The rest of the winners will be proclaimed soon, and I wonder how many cheats got away with supposedly representing a marginalized sector of society in order to get a government seat in congress. Now that really sucks.

Hay, what's new, Philippines? Where do we go from here, pray tell? When our so-called "president-apparent" calls on showbiz host Boy Abunda to serve as his Secretary for the Department of Tourism... ay, mygash, methinks it's time to tour the world... or migrate.

We've been forgetting that most of them out there voted for a descendant of a rich oligarch. How will he fight for us? Nakup, Orapronobis, isdatchu? Sure, I love his mommy and I admire his daddy but I don't admire or love him. Sorry. Hay... let's see na lang nga. Bahala na bukas.

***

I am a bit sad about something today but I can't reveal what it is. But I can tell you that it still touches upon things we thought we are already handling well in certain sectors of society, things like gender discrimination and anti-gay sentiments. Hay, we really have a long way to go, baby.

On the other hand, I am happy about a new engagement that directly deals with countering this thing that saddened me. It's a small effort, I know, but every effort counts. Sabi nga nila, isang patak ng tubig, kapag marami, nagiging isang makamandag na buhos. Sige, abangan natin iyan.

For now, magpalamig na lang muna tayo sa ibang larangan.

***

I decided to reorient one of my earlier experiments with wordpress. I actually have four horcruxes there, mga leaflens offshoots. The one that's not going to be tinkered with is Takilya ni Leaflens, my film review blog and Karinderya ni Leaflens, my attempt at a food blog. I decided to collapse the other two, the literary blog and the media-oriented blog. I renamed it Culture Popper Leaflens for reasons you will see when you visit the site. Aside from film and food, I will be dumping there my thoughts on media and pop culture. I'm trying to segregate my writings so that they'll be easier to track, follow and gather. So there.

I'm actually psyched about the Culture Popper site, for some strange reason. Check it out. I also post pictures there, and you're welcome to comment as always.

Well, I'll try to turn in early tonight. Tomorrow's a big day -- the opening of the French Film Festival. They have an early brunch thing with press people, and I was invited. Kewl. Para maiba naman. Puro Instituto Cervantes invite gigs kasi ang napupuntahan ko lately e hehe. So ayun.

Sige, stay honest, folks. Don't be cheats.

bonggang bonggang bougainvilla

Or in short, try to catch the movie HERE COMES THE BRIDE now showing in local cinemas. My review of that movie can be found here in my Leaflens Takilya horcrux.

Read na. Now na. Pak! :)

***

By next week, I'll be publicizing another gimik I got myself into. Don't worry, it's legal, and like always, it's all gay :).

Keep cold, everyone. Woohoo 38 freakin' degrees celsius today, dude! That's 100 fahrenheit for our North American friends. Majinit ever. Kalurkey.

up in the air...down on the street

So finally, the elections are over. More than a week after the Philippines cast our votes in our first-ever automated elections, we see the results immediately like you're just checking your balance on your ATM account (na hindi offline). After a day or two, local candidates already know where they're going to be for the next few years. Just yesterday, the final 12 of the senate line-up were declared. And in a few more days, we'll know who the partylist groups are who got enough votes to garner seats.

Sadly, AngLadlad is not one of them.

sunrise outside my condo window

But that's cool. As a colleague said, the fact that we were able to officially make it in this elections is a miracle enough. With barely a month to go to campaign, it's still a happy thought that AngLadlad got around 106,000 votes. That's not bad given the circumstances and the controversies, not to mention the religious bigots getting in the way of progress.

Not bad, not bad at all.

Imagine if we were given an earlier time to campaign. That must have been cool. We could have reached more people, LGBTs and straights alike. I'm actually happy that a lot of my straight colleagues and friends voted for us, even those whom I thought were not that progressive when it comes to LGBT issues. I'm glad I was proven wrong in this department.

So that's over and done with now. What happens next? Well, let's see where the new leaders will steer our economy, our culture and our human rights in the coming six years. I hope this batch knows how to drive better than the last ones.

Let's wish.

*******

On a more personal note, I'm happy that you guys are reading my posts. Thanks for the support. I'm also happy to announce that I'll be writing more LGBT-related stuff in a more formal environment outside my blog. I'm actually happy about that development. I think I'm in the throes of this thing called burnout in one of my professional engagements, so beginning new engagements really spikes up my enthusiasm for life. I'll also be starting two new projects which are not LGBT-related and I'm happy about those, too.

Life is full of surprises when you least expect it. I'm glad these surprises have some kind of monetary tags on them. Hey, better be ready for anything, right? With a new government out there, who knows what our economy would look like in the next few years. I won't actually mind if the dollar dips again, and maybe reach the 30s once again (it's currently at 45 pesos to one dollar). Let's see.

My girlfriend and I are also embarking on new things this coming school year. She will finally finish what her father denied her -- an education. We're actually both excited about this. As for me, I'm not sure about my own continuing education, but I'll just keep that on the side for now, perhaps. I'm not in the mood to be a full-time academic student again. Maybe next year. Being in an academic set-up via teaching is enough for me at this time.

my writing nook

What I'm actually interested more to do these days is to write some more. At least with blogging, I get to keep that exercise going. I'm actually thinking of going somewhere where there are few distractions. Yes, few, because let's face it, everywhere I go, there will always be distractions, so best to choose the ones with minimal "evil stuff," di ba?

The last time I did some "serious no distraction" writing was way back in 2007 pa pala, when I decided to arrive days early for a film conference I attended in India, and decided to stay inside a 13th century fort-turned-hotel for days. And what do you know -- I was able to finish my very first novel. That one I want to just polish again so I could finally submit it to a publishing house. A fellow LGBT writer friend has been asking me for lesbian material for this publishing house, and I think I'll deliver that by the end of the year. It's just that with so many fast advancements in technology, I have to update some parts of that novel that discusses technologies. Imagine there was no facebook yet then, only friendster, so I have to change that, right?

I guess this will be a good decade for Filipino writers in general, thanks mostly to the hoopla surrounding Chuck's internationally-acclaimed novel, the one that won in the Man Asia prize. Yes, that's Miguel Syjuco to the world but to us who were once his colleagues and co-workers, it's Chuck. He was once my editor in the defunct Localvibe.Com lifestyle-culture website he created with his Atenean writer friends ages ago. The Ateneans were happy to pick me up and give me my own weekly film review column when their rival UPians dropped me unceremoniously because... well, I'll just leave that story in the annals of "the stupidest conflict of interest reason ever." Long story hard to tell. Next time.

So that's Chuck for us. That guy can write, and I like his style, so I can't wait to get a hold of his novel and read it. I could certainly use a good Filipino novel read these days. The one I'm currently reading is... bleh. I don't even know why it won the Palanca (well, yes, I know why but I ain't telling! Saka na.) Too bad I missed his guestings when he was in the country. I'm not sure if he would still remember me, given the decade-plus absence, but it would be cool just to say hello again.

Good, I'm reading, I'm reading, again. I hope I could also write more, again.

Have you had the chance to check out the other Leaflens horcruxes? It's all listed there at the navigational bar to your left. The ones that I've recently updated is the film review site, the others have to wait. I swear, I have so many ideas, concepts and storylines in my head right now that I don't know how to let them all out and jot them down. I'm still trying to digest my two-month US trip as we speak, and that alone would take a lot of effort in terms of writing the experiences down.

with Frankenstein at Universal Studios LA

Plus it's hard to write in this heat. We're having an average of about 34-37 degrees Celsius on a daily basis here since I arrived. Man, the day I arrived, that was the hottest day tallied, ever! Talk about a warm Manila welcome, huh. Well, warm is right. I have to say sorry to mother nature for not lessening my carbon imprint, but in order not to get asthma again and to be able to write, we decided to get a small AC unit for the bedroom. Now that it's up and running, I don't have to walk down to the nearest Starbucks (yes, it reopened finally, after Ondoy) to write. It's noisy there already and not conducive to writing anymore, so I just decided to make my own iced coffee here at home and do my writing here. Let's just hope Meralco loves us better this coming billing period.

Oh well, Manila, my Manila. I hate you, I love you, I wanna leave you, I wanna stay here with you. Dichotomies. Ironies. Welcome to the Philippines.

Why 89: Bless the bigots and the children [7 of 7*]

When Ang Ladlad filed its intent to run in the upcoming elections as a partylist, the Commission on Elections (Comelec) denied it, with officials saying the group is "immoral and a threat to the youth."

Those are such heavy words to come out of identified Christian and Muslim officials who wrote the decision to deny. This irritated me as a teacher and wrote a very impassioned reaction to it.

To say that the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people of the Philippines are a "threat to the youth," maybe the Comelec officials need to look at the Filipino youth of today. They might be surprised how many of the young ones openly identify themselves as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender while some simply do not label themselves but live a happy queer life nonetheless. But I digress.

I got irritated by that sweeping generalization. This reminded me of several incidents in the past that made me sad that what these bigoted elders teach our kids is to continue their prejudice towards people different from them. This really makes me so sad, to hand over homophobia as pamana to the next generation. That just sucks.

When I was working full-time as a director of a fantasy family TV show, we had preteens and teens (8-15) in our main cast, and they used to kid around with the staff and crew in between takes. There were several instances where I would hear them utter the word "bakla" as a pejorative and I just cringed. I waited for the other adults to correct this, but that didn't happen. I was saddened to even hear that some of the adults did it, too, to use the word queer as a derogatory joke. What's worse is that sometimes, I hear some adults talk about their apprehension that the kids might be effemnate and hence might grow up to be gay, and they wished that won't happen. Hay... Hirap maging advocate sa media world sometimes. You never know when to stop being a media practitioner and when to begin being an LGBT advocate. But I digress again.

Most times, I let it pass because I was too far from them or I didn't hear the rest of their conversations. But there was one time I didn't. We were setting up the scene, I was walking around the shoot area planning the camera's movement while the boys joked around on the side, waiting for their instructions. "O, standby lang kayo diyan, ha," I said. When I heard both the boys and some adults use the word bakla to tease each other in a derogatory way again, I finally had to say something. "Bakit natin nilalait ang mga bakla? Wala naman silang ginawa sa ating masama, di ba? So di dapat natin sila nilalait. Di ba? Okay ba iyon? Puwedeng tigilan na natin iyon? Ha? Okay ba iyon?" Silence. I looked at the faces of the kids and they silently nodded. As for the adults, well, I didn't need to look at them directly to know what they feel. I just hope that what they said stuck.

Di ba nga sabi ng isang ad dati "Sa mata ng isang bata, ang mali ay nagiging tama kapag ginawa ng mga matatanda." But sometimes, it's the adults that need the lessons, badly. The children can actually be more mature than them, I swear.

It saddens me more when a supposed expert on children's welfare would outright discriminate against LGBT parents. I was writing a script before portraying different kinds of families, like a nuclear hetero-led family, a single parent family, a grandparents-led family, and an alternative family featuring two lesbian moms. When the expert-consultant read my script, she immediately sent me a message saying I should remove the lesbian moms because homosexuality isn't allowed in the Philippines and it might confuse the children. I frankly didn't know how to react to this, because our main boss who approved the scripts was a lesbian mother herself. Oh my. In the end, a shot of the lesbian moms family was still included but they weren't verbally pointed out as another kind of family. So sad.

Bless these bigots, for they know not what they are doing to future generations, teaching homophobia like that. Now that's immoral.

As a teacher, I make it a point not to teach homophobia in the classsroom. I even made special lessons to introduce the concept of human rights to the kids, even if they are learning filmmaking, in the hopes of eradicating any kind of prejudice in them.

Bless the children, for they seem to be catching on more to what this world ought to be - free from prejudice. I hope these kids grow up soon -- the world badly needs them, and they badly need to teach the adults a lesson or two.

So no, Ang Ladlad does not foster any kind of immorality just because its constituents are lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgenders. We are all functioning law-abiding members of society. We pay our taxes, we patronize local products, we work and try to excel in our jobs, and we contribute to the general welfare of the country. Teach that to the children, please.

How? Vote 89.



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*Why 89: 7 of 7 is the last of a seven-part series of creative nonfiction narratives I am writing as a countdown to the upcoming May 10 elections in support of my partylist, Ang Ladlad.

Part 1 of 7 - The Benefit(s) of Recognition
Part 2 of 7 - The Career Closet
Part 3 of 7 - Medical Maladies, Malpractices and Mistrust
Part 4 of 7 - Equality to Party
Part 5 of 7 - Property Protection
Part 6 of 7 - Sealing the Love with a Kiss... and a Contract

All photos by libay linsangan cantor (1) Ang Ladlad contingent at the 2008 Malate LGBT Pride March (2) production shoot March 2009 (3) lesbian family marching at the Baguio Pride March June 2009; except (4) from Ang Ladlad's campaign materials.

Feel free to repost and comment. Thanks for reading.

Why 89: Sealing the Love with a Kiss... and a Contract [6 of 7*]

No, same-sex marriage is not in the agenda of Ang Ladlad partylist. It never was, since the beginning. I don't like that one bit, but I understand why.

It's because of the religious fundamentalists, the Bible-toting angry people of cloth and their zealous judgmental followers who tell us that we are an abomination and we will ruin the sanctity of marriage if we push for the holy union between a man and a man or a woman and a woman. God created Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve, they said. God hates gays, their placards said. It's not OK to be gay; it's sin, they ungrammatically protested.

Sin ka dyan. Wanna talk about sin, church peeps? Then maybe you guys should look at the controversies surrounding the Vatican priests first before condemning others you think are "less pure" than your lot. It's funny that the controversies hounding the Catholic church now are about lust (sexual molestation especially of minors), while our issues in the LGBT community mainly gravitate towards one thing "purer" than lust: love. Yes, love, because let's face it, love makes the world go round, as that song said.

Ages ago, an officemate of mine asked me why "us gays" are still pushing for same-sex marriage. She sounded frustrated as we talked. "Shouldn't living together be enough for you? Why you do want to get married?" she said. I answered by asking her the same question. "Officemate, why did you get married to your husband?" She thought for a while and looked irritated. "Because we've been together for years. We've been a couple for so long that it naturally ends there, in being married." I nodded and said, "And what else?" She pondered on and said "And I love him." I smiled. "Those are the same reasons we have, Officemate. Same as yours. It's about love. And we want to live happily ever after, in love, bound by love through marriage... like you."

See? We all have the same "agenda," regardless of our sexual orientation and gender identity. We want to fall in love. We want to be in a relationship. We want to solidify that relationship through some form of union. And we want our society to protect that love by upholding that union that binds our love.

But if leaders of our society outright condemn this kind of love and all its forms of celebration, then that is just plain sad. Years back, a couple of legislators filed bills that ensured marriage in the Philippines is only between a biological male and a biological female, and LGBT marriages done outside of the country won't be recognized here. Whatever. This is why I'm not voting for them, even if they initially expressed support for the LGBT movement in earlier years or support for the controversial reproductive health bill. So sorry Ruffy Biazon and Miriam Defensor-Santiago, this lesbian is not voting for you anymore.

I thought the pursuit of happiness is in the mandate of democratic states, but it just doesn't feel like a democracy here in the Philippines just yet, especially when it comes to the realm of marginalized populations like lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgenders. This makes me sad sometimes, to the point of being bitter.

I guess this is why, personally, I couldn't bring myself to congratulate friends and colleagues who get married. Yes, I am such a bitter ocampo dudette when it comes to this issue. A couple of friends who recently got married documented their preparations, the celebrations and the after-stuff in digital thousands-plus photo glory. Wedding photo booths, wedding blog, prenup photo-shoot, blah blah blah. Sure, I'm happy for them that they found true love everlasting, but each time I see a happy heterosexual couple getting married, I can't help but think of a counterpart LGBT couple out there in the Philippines who have sad faces just because they cannot reach this so-called pinnacle of celebration of their love, this marriage thing. Hey, everyone deserves to be happy; why aren't we given that chance? But of course, this is not to say that I hate all straight weddings lest someone out there thinks I'm a het wedding scrooge. I guess the only time I don't feel bitter about marriages is when I see close relatives and my straight super-close friends getting married, because I know their plight and what they've been through. As for the rest... well, congrats na lang, sabay buntong-hininga. A collective sigh of frustration from the LGBT community.

When I read in the news years ago what Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt said about this issue, I kinda teared up. They said they won't get married until everyone has the right to get married, pertaining to LGBT couples. Man, what guts. I appreciate their stand, but come to think of it, they can afford not to get married anyway, because they have all the money and connections in the world to make things happen for them without the benefit of a marriage contract. For instance, they can send their kids to the school they want without the school officials demanding to see their marriage licenses (yes, some schools do that here, they turn away kids from unmarried couples/single parents). But still, I commend them for the effort.

Of course this is not to say that everyone in the LGBT community believes in marriage and want to get married. Like the straight world, we also have those who don't believe in the institution. Personally, I really believe that marriage as an institution should be reinvented in order to revitalize its tenets to have a more progressive stance. All we're saying here is that everyone should be given the right to get married if they wanted to get married. That is all -- freedom for all.

Again, no, Ang Ladlad is not pushing for same-sex marriage recognition, and that is fine. But they are pushing for the support of LGBTs in the Philippines especially when it comes to the more essential things, like livelihood and respect. I guess when those aspects are protected, then perhaps love could bloom, grow and thrive even more in our community, marriage or no marriage.

So if you believe in upholding the right of all people to recognize and celebrate their love in a non-condemning society, then please be with us in our plight to the pursuit of genuine happiness.

Vote 89.


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*Why 89: 6 of 7 is the sixth of a seven-part series of creative nonfiction narratives I am writing as a countdown to the upcoming May 10 elections in support of my partylist, Ang Ladlad.

Part 1 of 7 - The Benefit(s) of Recognition
Part 2 of 7 - The Career Closet
Part 3 of 7 - Medical Maladies, Malpractices and Mistrust
Part 4 of 7 - Equality to Party
Part 5 of 7 - Property Protection

All photos by libay linsangan cantor (1) at the Baguio Pride March June 2009 (2) foreign-led anti-gay fundamentalist protesters at the 2008 Malate LGBT Pride March (3) signs at the 2008 Malate LGBT Pride March (4) buhay bahay Halloween 2008 (5) signs at the Baguio Pride March June 2009; except (6) from Ang Ladlad's campaign materials.

Feel free to repost and comment. Thanks for reading.

Why 89: Property Protection [5 of 7*]

I guess I'm one of the luckiest lesbians in the Philippines.

During the course of my relationship with an ex -- an ex who earns a lot and knows how to save money earned from her professional work -- my father offered to give me part of my inheritance already in conjunction with what my ex was planning at that time: to build our own house. With her earnings, she would shoulder the construction expenses of the house while my contribution is I hold the title of the lot where that house is going to be built. Since we are legally not related and common law partnership is not legally recognized in the Philippines, this separation of titles might be the best thing to do to have us both protected... or are we really going to be protected with this set-up?

With this discussion in mind, I couldn't help but think of that tearful episode in the trilogy film If These Walls Could Talk 2 where an elderly lesbian couple -- I'm talking about Lola age here -- had to face the dilemma of separating their property when one of the couple died. In our language, we call this mga bagay na naipundar na, things a couple have already acquired through the course of building a life together, a loving life with each other. But in that film, once the funeral was over, the family of the deceased lola lesbian just waltzed through the house of their lola and ignored the other living lola there, the life partner of their lola, and just started carting away the things, trinkets and stuff inside the house as if they owned it. Bewildered, the living lola lesbian asked what was happening, and sadly, the family was doing that because their dead lola lesbian owned the house, and hence the family just took over as legal next of kin. Oh my goddess, when I saw that scene, I just burst out crying, the sap that I am.

But sap or no sap, it really is a sad thing to think of what will happen when the same situation might come up in the future. I own the lot while my ex-partner owned the house. What happens if one of us dies? My ex told me that she will be the one in the losing end because the title is in my name, and I think she couldn't hold a title for merely the house or something legal blah like that. She said that my family could simply revoke her claim and get it because it's in my name. Similarly, I know that her family won't also give up without a fight for this property, knowing that it was partly their relatives'. I don't blame her for thinking ill of my family should a situation like that arise in the future, but she couldn't also blame me if I also thought ill of her family if in case that situation really did arrive. Quits lang, as I said. I guess there's a reason why, at the back of my mind, I thought that this build-a-house project wasn't such a good idea to begin with, and of course, years later, we would go our separate ways and I was right all along -- she wasn't the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. But that's another story.

A couple of years later, a friend of mine called me up for a meeting. This friend turned out to be a new employee of an insurance company, and she wanted to sell me insurance life plans or whatever they're called. I've had one before but I let it go, and frankly speaking, I'm not really keen on keeping a life insurance plan and stuff like that, seeing how some insurance companies turned out to be scams years and years later, but I digress. So I just entertained my friend and listened to her explanation of who could become my beneficiary if I get a plan. That was where her advocate eyes twinkled, as she explained that in their company, you can name your partner as your beneficiary even without the benefit of a legal marriage or legal union. I couldn't recall what the details of that set-up were, but it sounded promising indeed. She was planning to spread the word about this to our other co-advocates in the LGBT world, so I wished her luck. No, I didn't get an insurance plan after all that, because I still didn't really feel confident about the insurance scenario here in the country. But again, that's another story.

But now that I am in a very loving relationship -- the healthiest and happiest relationship I have ever had, ever -- I have been thinking about these property protection things a lot again lately. In case something happens to me, what will happen to my partner, who doesn't have a single thing legally attached to her name? How do I protect her? I guess this would be easy, this insurance business thing, if we could really identify which insurance company would help LGBTs like us. But even if my insurance friend says theirs is like that, I don't know. Shouldn't this be an across the board thing, that all insurance companies should have this option for LGBTs as well?

Oh yeah, I forgot, I'm in the Philippines. That's not the case here. Unlike other countries of the world which secures the protection of the property of their citizens, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity. Hay...

Early this year, I met up with one of my old friends, one of the longtime lesbian advocates I've known who has a really long relationship with another advocate. She happily told me that they just celebrated their twentieth year together. Twenty!!!! That's a 2 and a 0. Wow. And one of the things we talked about was this, the property protection thing. What she told me was what a lawyer friend also told me before -- keeping a will. That's a last will and testament, folks. A will works for us, as long as it is hand-written and signed. It's legally binding, they said. Hmm, primitive, but I guess if other modern systems fail, this one stands the test of time.

This whole thing might appear too trivial to others, sure. Owning property, separation of property, having property, beneficiaries, insurance. Never in my three decades plus of existence did I think that I would begin discussing these things already in my life, but I guess at some point, we have to. This is because there are no systems in place in the current society that will help us lesbians to protect our hard-earned property, and to protect that property in conjunction with protecting our relationship with our loving life partner.

Hay, systems... I think the Philippines is allergic to having working systems, systems that will benefit all citizens, including lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgenders.

This is why I am voting for Ang Ladlad partylist. Our number one candidate is a lawyer, and that might help things a bit, slowly, with the help of the other candidates who I hope would win seats, too, and of course with the help of the rest of us in the group, and the rest of the LGBT community, and the rest of the LGBT-friendly populace out there who knows what's it like to be dehado, to be behind, way behind, in a society that says we should all be equal no matter what.

No matter what pala ha. How come we LGBTs are always at the losing end of such things, such systems? Hay, come on people, let's change things for the better, shall we? I know I want all systems in the country to work for all of its citizens. How about you?

So Vote 89.


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*Why 89: 5 of 7 is the fifth of a seven-part series of creative nonfiction narratives I am writing as a countdown to the upcoming May 10 elections in support of my partylist, Ang Ladlad.

Part 1 of 7 - The Benefit(s) of Recognition
Part 2 of 7 - The Career Closet
Part 3 of 7 - Medical Maladies, Malpractices and Mistrust
Part 4 of 7 - Equality to Party

All photos by libay linsangan cantor (4) growing balls 2009 (5-6) buhay bahay 2009 (7) baklang disney 2010 (8) Doni of Ang Ladlad at the Malate Pride March 2006; except (1) leaflens at disney 2010 by jasmin cantor (2) movie poster for If These Walls Could Talk 2 from the internet (3) If These Walls Could Talk 2 screencap photo grabbed from Connecticut Lesbian and Gay Law site and (4) from Ang Ladlad's campaign materials.

Feel free to repost and comment. Thanks for reading.

Why 89: Equality to Party [4 of 7*]

Ah, to go out and party, mingle, be with friends or celebrate moments with new acquaintances. Manila is a very nice place to party, especially if you like going out at night. You can go to any establishment and dance the night away or have meaningful conversations over cocktail drinks. You can do that safely and securely anywhere in Metro Manila... if you are straight.

What if you are not?

Since the 1990s, there was only one way lesbians could dance the night away in a club-like atmosphere, and that was to attend so-called "exclusive parties for women" which take place in a bar-restaurant with dancing facilities. What happens here is that there is a party organizer that rents an establishment for the night, puts up a banner that says the party is an "exclusive for ladies only" dance party, and they charge tickets at the door. The organizers are lesbians, and I don't know how this practice really began. I learned about it by word of mouth -- lesbians and bisexual women pass the word along to each other in the community. Since the parties can take place in a different bar every time, the organizers also get your contact numbers so they could alert you where the next party is going to be held. Parties like these happened every other weekend. These days, there is practically one that happens every weekend.

When I saw the first exclusive party I went to, I was amazed at the diversity of faces I saw in the bar and on the dance floor. I thought wow, where did all these lesbians come from? I thought I already knew a lot of lesbians in my circle, but I continue discovering many more in these parties. This goes to prove that there are indeed so many lesbians in Manila; they just don't mingle much.

Another thing that struck me is that in such parties, you really feel safe, meaning you can dance with another girl without a stupid guy ogling at you, or you don't get harassed when guys see you dancing with another girl, or fellow women won't look at you with disgust when you dance with another woman. Yes, those are safe spaces for us.

But it also hit me: why do we need to have a safe space at all? Shouldn't people be free to party anywhere they want, do as they please (without breaking any law, of course) without being harassed by others? Sadly, you can't do that here in the country, in this very macho and patriarchal country.

Even in terms of partying, we get discriminated often. Lucky for us that we lesbians have this exclusive party things and the gay guys have their clubs where they could dance the night away, like Bed Bar. I haven't heard of a bar where transgender women go to for partying, but their horror story of partying is more horrific than our stories of discrimination.

Imagine a very beautiful, feminine and elegant transgender woman wearing a pretty dress and high-heeled shoes, all made up and all dolled up. If a straight woman were to be dressed the same way, she would easily be accommodated inside any establishment she would want to enter, even those with strict dress code restrictions. Usually, when you say "dress code," that means you can't enter an establishment wearing shabby clothes like sleeveless basketball jerseys, shorts, slippers or anything that would somehow make the establishment look shabby. Understandable.

But such a place once barred a transgender woman from entering their premises. The TV comedian Inday Garutay entered Aruba Bar and its security people wanted to eject her immediately because she wasn't wearing the proper dress code, they said. By that, they meant they saw Inday as a cross-dressing man, and they only wanted men who wore presentable pants and clothes inside their place. It didn't matter to Aruba that Inday was elegantly dressed, very presentable and decent. They merely saw, as John Leguizamo said in To Wong Foo Thanks For Everything Julie Newmar, "just a boy in a dress."

It's one thing to say a transgender woman is violating a dress code, but it's another to brazenly dismiss them because you assume they are prostitutes. Club Havana in Makati is guilty of that one.

A few years ago, a group of transgender women entered Club Havana, a bar-restaurant with a spacious area for dancing. They wanted to have a few drinks because they were also there the night before for dinner. But for some reason, they were asked to leave, and the bar's people cited that they are violating the dress code. But several similar incidents revealed the true nature of their dress code ban: the people who run the place automatically assume that transgender women are there to pick up men because they are prostitutes. So I guess the straight women who frequent that place solely to be picked up by men and get paid afterward are not, um, violating any dress code, but they're okay to be there, while the transgender women who are not prostitutes should leave?

This is not an isolated incident. Aside from Aruba and Club Havana, there are also other places in Makati that practice the same discriminatory stance. And just a few days ago, another incident: a few transgender women merely wanted to pass by an area of Greenbelt, and they were blatantly told they are not allowed to enter the premises at all. Oh man, when will this stop?

It's a good thing these incidents are being publicized by the individuals directly affected by the circumstances. It's just too bad for the Ayala Group and Havana people that the women they discriminated are advocates, people who will stand up to injustice and fight for their rights. I'm sure these incidents also happen to other LGBTs out there, but sadly, they might have just chosen to ignore it, and not fight.

Well, one thing's for sure. We're all tired of ignoring it. We want to party, and we want to be treated like everyone else in straight society when we party. We don't want to be banned, ejected or singled out. We don't want to be ogled at, and we don't want to be harassed when we want to have a good time with our friends and loved ones.

This is why I am voting for Ang Ladlad; this group knows how it's like to be discriminated against just because of who you are. If you're tired of being discriminated against like us, and if you are fed up of people spoiling the fun because your friend or colleague gets barred from an establishment, then please let's send a message to this patriarchal society that their machismo has to end -- now.

Vote 89.


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*Why 89: 4 of 7 is the fourth of a seven-part series of creative nonfiction narratives I am writing as a countdown to the upcoming May 10 elections in support of my partylist, Ang Ladlad.

Part 1 of 7 - The Benefit(s) of Recognition
Part 2 of 7 - The Career Closet
Part 3 of 7 - Medical Maladies, Malpractices and Mistrust

All photos by libay linsangan cantor (1) corner of orosa and nakpil, makati after pride march 2008 (3) at the CCP july 2009 except (2) publicity poster for exclusive party 2008 and (4) from Ang Ladlad's campaign materials.

Feel free to repost and comment. Thanks for reading.

Why 89: Medical Maladies, Malpractices and Mistrust [3 of 7*]

I was distraught when my girlfriend injured her knee a month ago; she was alone in our condo. I was out of the country then, so my relatives were the ones who came to her rescue. But I was more distraught over the fact that the hospital might not recognize my relatives' help because technically, my girlfriend is not their relative.

So My Tita brought her to the hospital under the pretense that my girlfriend was her niece, just in case they asked. Good thing the hospital didn't question their legal relations much so my girlfriend went ahead to the emergency room and got treatment. We were thankful that the injury was minimal and grateful that my trusted relatives were there to help out.

Yes, we are out to everybody as a couple. I have brought my girlfriend to different family functions and in turn, she has brought me home to their province to meet her family as well. And since her immediate relatives are far away from us, I stand as her only relative in the metro. So when it comes to our relatives helping us out, there's no question about that.

But it's another case when it comes to the outside world, especially when it deals with medical cases like the one above.

I'm actually glad that the hospital didn't question that legality so much, whether my Tita was a blood relative of my girlfriend and all. I know that scenario might change if the situation was worse. For instance, what happens when I get hospitalized? During visiting hours, non-relatives could visit for a while. But who gets to stay with me when visiting hours are over? The only willing candidates who will take care of me and stay with me there would be my mother and my girlfriend. Of course they'll allow my mother; she's my mother. But what about my girlfriend? I'm sure they'll send her home, because she's not related to me, even if we have been sharing a life together for more than two years now.

In Canada, New Zealand and some European countries, it's perfectly alright if an unmarried couple stays together under such circumstances, meaning one of the couple could legally be permitted to stay with the sick partner. There's a term for unmarried couples which are already applicable to LGBT couples as well -- common-law partners. I love that term, "common-law." Somehow it binds a legal bond between couples, loving couples, in the society. So if one gets sick, there's no question that their governments allow loved ones to be together in their times of troubles.

But not in the Philippines.

In the US, President Obama just introduced the concept of letting hospitals permit LGBT couples to be with each other in hospitals to take care of the sick partner. Prior to that, though, other US states like Maine already have in effect a law which permits patients to assign whoever they want to assign as their legal representative or caretaker while confined. This law clearly could apply to LGBT patients, then. But what about the other states? Well, we get sob stories.

Just like in the Philippines.

Here in the country, it's very "easy" for the medical profession to be discriminatory against LGBT patients. For one, some medical practitioners are not sensitive enough to the needs of LGBT patients. But like I said, it's "easy" for them to be discriminatory against us because prior to being LGBT, they discriminate first on people's general behavior, LGBT or not.

For instance, I still clearly remember the first time I went to an OBGyne when I got a yeast infection in my nether regions during my early twenties. I wasn't an enlightened lesbian yet during that time, and I had a boyfriend. The female OBGyne--who was dressed more like a conservative preacher from some fellowship center--asked what the problem was, so I told her. Her next question to me was "May boyfriend ka na ba?" to which I honestly replied "Opo." And then she proceeded to examine me while shaking her head in disagreement. I thought she was seeing something disagreeable in the area she was looking at, but that wasn't the case at all.

After, she told me that I indeed have yeast infection of some sort, but it was a common thing to get for women, she said, especially women who are engaging in sex, and then she continued to shake her head in disagreement. That was when it hit me -- oh, she was disagreeing because she assumed I was having premarital sex with a guy! Aysus! And she just said it like that, without even asking me, without confirming first, if I was indeed having sex with my boyfriend; she just assumed, and that was that. So imagine if straight women got this kind of judgmental crap from medical practitioners on a daily basis. Imagine the kind of judgmental crap LGBTs get from them.

In 2003, the lesbian community was plainly enraged when the president of the Philippine Obstetrics and Gynecologists Society (POGS) of that time declared that "lesbians are not women." That made me automatically look at my boobs and vagina and think, "Um, last time I checked, which was seconds ago, I am a woman, doc." If they view us as aliens, how could they give us proper treatment, then? Such confidence, such trust.

Since we were small, we were all taught to immediately honor and trust certain people in specific professions such as doctors, nurses, the police and priests. Well, I don't know about the police and priests these days, but doctors and other medical practitioners should still hold. But if the president of a medical organization maligns us like that, well, we lesbians might as well look for another doctor... maybe from the Moon, or Uranus? I don't know. Please send referrals.


But after engaging in dialogue that good doctor who made that horrible pronouncement , lesbian rights advocates were able to make her see the light, and she retracted the statement. But still, we can never forget such a statement.

A couple of years ago, my girlfriend needed an OBGyne check-up, too, so the first thing we did was to look for a lesbian-friendly female OBgyne. Luckily, we found one near our condo but sadly, their clinic transferred after a year. So we have no recourse but to look for another lesbian-friendly one.

But you know what? That's the point: we should not be looking for a lesbian-friendly OBGyne, because they should all be trained to accept all kinds of patients, and to properly assess their patients who are from different walks of life. For instance, they should be able to talk to patients in a non-discriminatory and non-judgmental way, whether their clients are mothers, mistresses, lesbians or sex workers. Everybody is entitled to a proper medical treatment, or should I say a proper AND humane medical treatment.

But being humane wasn't in the minds of the medical practitioners involved in that infamous Cebu canister case where, in Vicente Sotto Memorial Hospital in Cebu, a gay guy was admitted at the emergency room years back, the one who, for some reason, had a small canister stuck up his ass, and had difficulty pulling out. Instead of pity or sympathy, the medical interns, nurses and doctors who admitted the gay guy did the most "modern" thing -- used a cellphone's camera and recorded a video of the canister operation as they laughed so hard while they performed it, and then uploaded it on Youtube. Youtube!!! Imagine if you were having your tonsils taken out, your liposuction done, or your knee surgery being recorded and uploaded on Youtube. So imagine if it was such a delicate and sensitive operation as the gay guy's. To have that uploaded on Youtube is the most horrific, unforgivable thing a medical practitioner could do. What nerve!

So if we lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgenders didn't have individuals, groups and organizations backing us up to remind the medical profession to honor their sworn non-discriminatory duties, then we're doomed. This is why I appreciate the platform of Ang Ladlad, the partylist that champions the personal, political and medical well-being of its main constituents -- every lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender citizen of the Philippines. Because the nominees of the partylist are bona fide members of the LGBT community, they know first-hand these horrible medical experiences, as some--if not all--of them have been treated harshly, too, at certain points in their lives. So they know how it feels, and they know how to remedy it.


So if you are one of us or if you have a loved one, a friend, a colleague who have had horror stories pertaining to the medical profession just because of our sexual orientation or gender identity, think about making a change for real and help the group that will help make this change real.

Vote 89.

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*Why 89: 3 of 7 is the third of a seven-part series of creative nonfiction narratives I am writing as a countdown to the upcoming May 10 elections in support of my partylist, Ang Ladlad.

Part 1 of 7 - The Benefit(s) of Recognition
Part 2 of 7 - The Career Closet

All photos by libay linsangan cantor (1-4) various personal shots taken 2008 except (4) from Ang Ladlad's campaign materials.

Feel free to repost and comment. Thanks for reading.