20 July 2008

of ghosts and self-upgrades

actually, it's the other way around...

Taurus Horoscopes

(Apr 20 - May 20)

Sunday, Jul 20th, 2008 -- Others will look to you for guidance today and you want to be there to help as much as you can. The Moon in your 10th House of Status indicates your current need to be acknowledged as a caring person. Wanting to nurture those close to you is admirable yet your motives can cloud the good work you do now. Don't seek anything in return. Your good deeds will have more value if they stand on their own.

strange reading for the day.

it's not so much about acknowledging that i am a caring person. it's more of acknowledging that i am being cared for. that's a big difference.

which brings me to the issue of
ghosts. i know we all should learn from our own histories but it's a different thing if we struggle with the ghosts of our pasts in the present. we should all have a "lessons learned" checklist where we could compare past deeds to present ones. but of course we shouldn't make the comparison directly obvious and tactless. for instance, if you tell your present mate that you hate her for being late in an appointment, that's okay. but if you tell her that you hate her because she was late and that reminded you of the many times your ex has been late in appointments that you ended up covering up for her, that's another thing, isn't it?

you don't say that. no.

or perhaps one cared so much for an ex that in their next relationship, they pull back the caring in order not to get that hurt again. however, it's just sad to note that sometimes, the pulling back is done in an OA-level that most of the time, there seems to be not much left of the care for the present relationship. even just the basics. you know, basic communication, basic understanding, basic patience, basic adjustment, basic compromise, basic caring, basic attraction -- all part of the Introduction to Romantic Relationships Server Pack 1 module. later on, as you progress, you upgrade. that's how it is, and how it should be.

but what happens if your basic software doesn't get upgraded? rather, it gets infected by viruses, especially trojans such as ghosts? what happens to your operating system, then?

this gets me thinking lately. just how long should a person wrestle with the ghost of past relationships? is there a definitive guideline for this? if i apply this to myself, i could safely say that each relationship's ghost gets in the way of my life for about a year or so, or less, but not more than that. in short, my ex of 10 years ago and my ex of 5 years ago and my ex of 2 years ago are now just memories in my memory bank, but i don't let those memories interfere with my current life. but i guess for some people, it works differently, especially with those who have had really long-term relationships in the past.

which gets me thinking: just how long should the "mourning and getting on with my life" phase be in one's life? how long should you mourn, get up and move on before hooking up with another person? how ready is ready?

i'm not sure. maybe you might have answers, theories, or whatnots. i'm not too familiar with the Rebound Relationship version 1.0 software module.

as for me, i don't think i want to wrestle with ghosts, whether mine or other's. ano'ng laban mo sa isang untouchable thought, sa isang presence that, even though it's unseen, is obviously felt? labo, right?

ewan. magta-tumblebugs 2 na lang ako.

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