30 July 2006

couch potato introspection + gay games

current beverage: kape
current chicha: nada
who i'd love to kill today: keanu reeves (for ruining the films he's in)
who i'd love to hug today: charlize theron (for being so damn talented, period)

this rainy day weekend brought out the couch potato in me, simply because i can't make babad sa computer dahill kumukulog paminsan-minsan at takot ako sa kidlat. natustahan na ko ng computer dati dahil doon (no thanks to bayantel's inept phoneline installing, na wala palang grounding! sus) kaya careful na ko. buti na lang at internal modem lang ang nasira ng husto sa akin noon.

i slept watching tv and woke up with the tv still on. interesting to note that around 4am, i woke up to the show THE DIRECTORS and their featured dude was darren arronofsky. they were discussing how he made REQUIEM FOR A DREAM and also his new one, THE FOUNTAIN. man, i wanna watch that! si cool oz hugh jackman pala and the pretty pretty rachel weisz ang bida niya. bet!

okay tong dude na to. kung may tinatawag na visionary, i think that's him. iba ang attack niya sa material, e, kaya i like him. hindi ko pa siya kilala noon when i saw his first feature, yung PI, this black and white almost silent film na nakita ko sa cable dati, years ago. gusto ko ang style niya, complementary kasi sa content at message ng film niya. ganun din yung requiem although that one, tangina lang sa bigat kaya wag panonoorin yun pag depressed ka. ha.

hmm dapat pala yun ang pinanood ko sa Film 10 classes ko for their diagnostic. hehe. pero okay na rin na NATURAL BORN KILLERS ang pinili ko. scared the bejeezus out of them yata hehe. but i like it because it made them really think. yun lang naman ang habol ko e. i wanna know how they think about films, lalo na't non-film majors mga to.

well, kanina naman late na ko nagising at ang naabutan ko sa cable surfing ay THE DEVIL'S ADVOCATE. and i wanted to watch that again if only for that brilliant confrontation scene between keanu banu and al pacino (who can forget when he said "I have so many names..." tapos sabay extend ng arms and hands palms up. grabe galeng). and of course ang galing ni lola charlize dito. dito ko siya unang napanood dati, at nagulat ako kasi akala ko isa lang siyang "just another leading lady shweshwe actor" but no, ang galing niya rito ha. lalo na nung portions na maluka-luka na siya sa nakikita niyang mga demonyo saka yung nagpakamatay siya. aaaay da best ang lolah!

napanood ko rin siya dati sa isang show sa etc2ndave where they discuss their acting styles with this acting coach or something, tapos may acting class students sa audience na magtatanong sa kanya. okay yung show na yun. and from her answers, makikita mo talagang isa siyang tunay na aktres na konektado sa materyal na ginagawa niya at sa karakter na hinuhugutan niya. galeng! intelligent woman, this lady. kokonti lang ang ganito ngayon at buti naman at merong nadagdag. nag-lie low na kasi ang lola jodie foster ko at si meryl streep e. pati si glenn close. nasan na ba ang mga gelay na toh? mga power women in hollywood. sayang.

in other oliver stone news, after the devil's advocate, paglipat ko sa kabilang movie channel ay ALEXANDER naman ang palabas. and i didn't know that the film suffered massively from this disease called the GACC Syndrome, or the GMA7 Artist Center Casting Syndrome where two actors are cast as parent-offspring even if their real ages do not span more than a decade! take the case sa MAJIKA ba yun, ang nanay ni angel locsin ay si carmina villaroel!  or dati sa ENCANTADIA na yung si dingdong dantes e tatay ng isa sa mga gelay dun na kung tutuusin ay dapat ka-loveteam lang niya!!! mahabagin! tapos dito, si colin farrell ay 19 years old!!!! ha???? sinong maniniwala dun??? at nanay niya ang aking ex-love na si angelina jolie!!!! nubah!!!!! all the bad macedonian accent in da world will not build this illusion of angie being collin's nanay! nubah! kalokah.

so i turned the tv off and here i am.


iwan ko muna ang tv at movielandia para sa gaylandia naman. kakatapos lang ng gay games (well actually, last week pa) sa chicago at siguro pauwi na ang ating mga philippine candidates. yes, kungdi niyo alam, may ganitong olympics ang lgbt world at sa chicago ginanap ito.ewan ko lang kung natuloy yung isa kong kakilalang i-cover ito for pinoy meets world. sa chicago daw kasi sila pupunta, sabi ko tamang-tama gay games doon. hm, ewan kung ano nangyari don.

opening night photo. astig!

check out more datos sa official gay games website.

bet! sarap manood ng ganyang event no? someday soon, we'll do that.

my friend in new york naman emailed me this poem thingie made by an out american-jamaican artist. wanna share it with you. binasa daw ito sa opening.  ewan lang kung tama ang nakuha kong versification ng lines kasi naka-paste lang sa email eh. you know how that goes.

gusto ko yung challenge niya actually. "let us interrogate the direction of our freedoms." this really applies to the whole world right now, not just sa lgbt world. and that last stanza makes a lot of sense.


The speech/poem/rant is attached. Please pass it on, especially to the people you know most need to read/hear/respond to it. In the tradition of Bayard Rustin, Susan B. Anthony, June Jordan, Harvey Milk, and Audre Lorde, let us interrogate the direction of our freedoms. Let us continue to ask ourselves those questions that are hardest for us to hear.

With love and the most affectionate gratitude,

Staceyann Chin's speech/poem at Gay Games VII

Being queer has no bearing on race
or class
or creed
my white publicist said
true love is never affected by color
or country
or the carnal need for cash

I curb the flashes of me crashing across the table
to knock his blond skin
from Manhattan
to Montego Bay to witness
the bloody beatings of beautiful brown boys
accused of the homosexual crime of buggery

amidst the new fangled fallacies
of sexual and racial freedom for all
these under-informed
pseudo-intellectual utterances
reflect how apolitical the left has become

I don't know why
but the term lesbian just seems so
confrontational to me
 why can't you people just say you date
other people ?

Again I say nothing
tongue and courage tied with fear
I am at once livid
ashamed and paralyzed
by the neo-conservatism
breeding malicious amongst us

Two spirit
Non-gender conforming—every year we add a new letter
our community is happily expanding beyond the scope
of the dream stonewall sparked within us

yet everyday
I become more afraid to say black
or lesbian
or woman—everyday
under the pretense of unity I swallow something I should have said
about the epidemic of AIDS in Africa
or the violence against teenage-girls in East New York
or the mortality rate of young boys on the south-side of Chicago

even in friendly conversation
I get the bell hooks-ian urge
to kill mother-fuckers who say stupid shit to me
all day
bitter branches of things I cannot say out loud
sprout deviant from my neck

fuck you-you-fucking-racist-sexist-turd
fuck you for wanting to talk about homophobia
while you exploit the desperation of undocumented immigrants
to clean your hallways
bathe your children and cook your dinner
for less than you and I spend on our tax deductible lunch!

I want to scream
all oppression is connected you dick

at the heart of every radical action in history
stood the dykes who were feminists
the anti-racists who were gay rights activists
the men who believed being vulnerable
could only make our community stronger

as the violence against us increases
where are the LGBT centers in those neighborhoods
where assaults occur most frequently?
as the tide of the Supreme Court changes
where are the LGBT marches
to support a woman's right to an abortion?
what say we about health insurance
for those who can least afford it?

HIV/AIDS was once a reason for gay white men to act up
now your indifference spells the death
of straight black women
and imprisoned Latino boys
if the tragedy does not immediately impact you
you don't give a fuck

offer a social ladder to those of us inclined to climb
and watch the bottom of a movement fall out
a revolution once pregnant with expectation
without direction the privileged and the plundered
grow listless
apathetic and individualistic no one knows
where to vote
or what to vote for anymore

the faces that represent us
have begun to look like the ones who used to burn crosses
and beat bulldaggers and fuck faggots up the ass
with loaded guns

the companies that sponsor our events
do not honor the way we live or love
or dance or pray
our life partnerships are deemed domestic
and the term marriage is reserved
for those unions sanctioned by a church controlled state

for all the landmarks we celebrate
we are still niggers
and faggots
and minstrel references
for jokes created on the funny pages of a heterosexual world

the horizons are changing
to keep pace with technology and policy alike
the LGBT manifesto has evolved into a corporate agenda
and outside that agenda
a woman is beaten every 12 seconds
every two minutes
a girl is raped somewhere in America

and while we stand here well-dressed and rejoicing
in India
in China
in South America a small child cuts the cloth
to construct you a new shirt
a new shoe
an old lifestyle held upright
by the engineered hunger and misuse of impoverished lives

gather round ye fags, dykes
trannies and all those in between
we are not simply at a political crossroad
we are buried knee deep in the quagmire
of a battle for our humanity

the powers that have always been
have already come for the Jew
the communist
and the trade unionist
the time to act is now!
Now! while there are still ways we can fight
Now! because the rights we have are still so very few
Now! because it is the right thing to do
Now! before you open the door to find
they have finally come
for you


anyway isa pang chorva, i just finished a megamini-review of this book sa aking anti-rust punditry pages.

autobiography of red by anne carson. read it na lang.

wow anne carson. i'm a new convert. bakit ngayon ko lang nadiskubre ito?

and in other literary news, my friend bles carmona, now based in the US, won a top poetry prize. check it out sa blog niya. yehei congrats mare!

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