Kundiman as the original "emo" (or how Atang got to me)

my girlfriend and i watched Atang last night at the guerrero theater, staged by Dulaang UP. alex cortez directed it, and i specifically caught this performance because frances makil was the lead Atang (um, di ko feel si shamaine hehehe). buti na lang din si bituin escalante ang katy dela cruz. panalo talaga ang lolang ito ever! a true gay icon, hehehe :P

nga lang, di ako nakasali sa standing ovation ng rows ko when they were applauding during the last song number. bakit? wala, kasi tumagos na sa akin yung Pakiusap.

pakiusap is a kundiman, which is defined sa wikipedia as:

Kundiman (originally spelled Cundiman) is a genre of traditional Filipino love songs. The lyrics of the Kundiman are written in Tagalog. The melody is characterized by a smooth, flowing and gentle rhythm with dramatic intervals. Kundiman was the traditional means of serenade in the Philippines.


so ganun.

the thing is, i grew up listening to this stuff, thanks to my paternal grandmother kung saan sa bahay niya ako lumaki, being the first apo, spending schooldays there and holidays with my parents in their newly purchased house in marikina during the '80s. so nung nag-high school lang ako saka ako nag-fulltime sa marikina, pero the first 12 years of my life, sa lola ako.

yes, i am a lola's girl, and proud of it.

during my college years, my tita migrated to canada and siyempre ang kasunod nun, petition. so dun na tumira si lolo at lola, hanggang sa kinuha na ni lord si lola when i was in my twenties.

medyo ten years na ata since that time. pero naaalala ko pa pala ang maraming bagay sa aking kabataan.

one thing with our families, mahilig kami sa arts, kahit bibihira sa amin ang directly nag-enggage sa arts, for a living or professionally. may tita akong illustrator sa legendary liwayway magazine, at may isa rin akong tita na editor-writer din sa women's magazines. may pinsan akong naging artista sa soaps at kasabayan sina juday at iba pang child actors before. may pinsan akong graphics artist. hm, yun lang yata. kaya mangha sila sa akin sa pagiging (literary) writer chuvalu, lalo na sa aking film/tv engagement chenelyn. so ang first and solid fans club ko e syempre ang relatives. bet naman. we support each other that way.

can you tell me
how to get
how to get to
sesame street...

music is one art we love, as some of us love singing (like any other card-carrying certified karaoke/videoke pinoy) while most -- if not all -- of us love dancing. joke ko nga lagi, dapat "bailar" ang apelyido namin instead of "cantor" dahil mas masayaw kami. nung high school nga ako, magdi-disco kaming magpipinsan kasama ang mga tita not bilang chaperone but bilang sasayaw sila kapag abba music ang sinalang ng dj hehe. tapos uupo kami at maghihintay ng 80s songs ulit hehe.

kaya it's no wonder that i have my own vinyl records before, even before i knew how to spell "vinyl." kasama sa treasure chest ko of records (45rpm) ay yung theme song ng voltes v (at yung sappy love song sa ending ang flipside nito), meron akong 72rpm (tama ba? 72) ng isang sesame street album, kaya memorize ko ang "rubber duckie" song ni ernie at ang theme song ng sesame street. meron ding longplaying album (LP ang tawag sa malalaki) ng chipmunks christmas, kaya kaya kong kumanta ng chipmunks voice during carolling dati (favorite ko yung "all i want for christmas is my two front teeth") na kinaiinisan ng mga co-carollers ko hehe. plus of course yung tumambling ako kay mommy na pinabili kong thriller album ni michael jackson (huge mj fan here dati) na kakapanalo lang sa grammys noon.

shaun cassidy is the one on the left.
for the life of me, i dunno why i never
got hooked to these series, even though
i devoured all nancy drew books during
my youth. i didn't like hardy boys books.

my titas had their own collections, of course. and of course, my lola did, too. so amidst all the leif garret and shaun cassidy and abba records, merong panaka-nakang records sina aawitan kita lady armida siguion reyna, celeste legaspi singing saranggola ni pepe, and of course, some kundiman records.

kaya it hit me when i heard pakiusap last night. it was one of the kundimans i grew up listening to. grabe, it struck a chord, pun intended, so to speak. hindi ko memorya lahat, pero ang part na ito ang nag-resonate sa akin dahil ito pala ang nakatatak sa, aherm, puso ko:

----------------------------------
Kung sakali ma't salat sa yama't pangarap,
May isang sumpang wagas,
Ang aking paglingap.
Pakiusap ko sa iyo kaawaan mo ako,
Kahit mamatay, pag-ibig ko'y minsan lamang.
-----------------------------------------------------------

yan. yan lang part na yan. kakaiba.

tuwing hapon kasi, kung hindi nagbabasa si lola ng komiks (at nakikibasa naman ako), nakikinig siya ng records na yan. kaya memorya ko rin ang repertoire ni celeste legaspi at armida siguion reyna. ayus lang naman. pero never did i realize na tumatak pala ang mga music na ito sa akin. ngayon ko lang na-appreciate ng husto ang lyricism and versification ng tula sa kanta at himig ng melodya. ayan, nai-intellectualize ko na ang appreciation ko sa kanila like a true thinking UP arts person. pero to put it simply, the songs are beautiful, effective, and freakingly and fucking romantic. not only do they transport you to a time and place that we wish we could have experienced, but they bring a certain kind of pureness of joy, a simpler peace of mind offering, and real warmth of heartwarming feelings. basta. parang ganun.

and of course, ang reyna ng kundiman sa ating history ay si atang dela rama, kung kanino nakabase ang dulang may kanta na ito ni floy quintos. panalo naman ito. mas na-appreciate ko ito kesa dun sa, hay, sa st. louis loves dem filipinos the musical. um, chakaness lang nun :( sayang.

at yes, kung si atang dela rama ang crush ng bayan before (ng mga arts greats nicanor abelardo, amado hernandez, jose corazon de jesus), ang kundiman ang original pinoy emo music. bow. yun lang naman ang gusto kong sabihin :P

hay haggard... i didn't want to feel this way but, ewan, slight na-stendhal syndrome ata ako kagabi sa performance.

congratulations sa inyo, mareng frances, mamu tuxqs and sa lahat. winner ang produksyon na ito. naluha ako truli! nubah! :P

yes, i am a sap.

and sometimes, proud of it.