leaflens: two things

i realized certain things over dinner tonight, one mundane and one that mars my mundo:

1. that i hate romaine lettuce pala, and
2. i'm through tolerating backstabbers-pretending-to-be-friends

i could have added "i hate matapobre people" especially those who look down upon people who might not be as fucking "cultured" (read: culturaly colonized) as they are. but that one is actually pet peeve numero...uno? basta top ten siya sa pet peeves sa lyf.

to laugh at people just because they they have the "improper table manners." magsama sila ng isang school official sa montreal na ilang beses pinarusahan ang isang fil-canadian pre-adolescent just because he was eating with a spoon and fork, not a fork and knife. it's a hot topic in several egroups. tinatamad lang akong hanapin ang link pero nasa isang online dyaryo siya. this official went as far as saying that eating the filipino way (with a spoon and fork) is eating like a pig. and other derogatory chuchus. racist ang puta.

i've never really tolerated people who poohpooh others' table manners and humiliate them directly like that. even so those who do that behind my back (kung ako ang mina-malign nila) or behind my friend's back kung siya ang mina-malign. akala mo ang lilinis ng mga hinayupak, ano? ewan ko ba. kanya-kanyang eklat na lang sguro tayo pero huwag na lang sana nating maliitin ang mga taong kakaiba sa atin. as lgbts laluna, we should know better than to malign people who are different. or maybe they don't really look at themselves as "different." parang yung isang forum ng NGO ni de quiros dati kung saan sabi ni direk joel lamangan na di daw siya nakaranas niyang "discrimination-discrimination" na yan na pinagsasasabi ni jonas dear of akbayan sa same panel. tangina sarap siyang sipain. parang itong mga nagmamaliit sa mga taong kakaiba sa kanila. tangina i have no patience for them.

this shows how matapobre people can get. bakit kaya sila ganun? siguro hindi nila naranasang isipin kung ano ang buhay ng ibang tao na mas mahirap sa kanila and all. ibang klase. classist.

tapos eto pa. i have some ek about language before, pero nagbago paningin ko when i started editing for the vernacular PINOY TIMES. lalo kong na-appreciate ang tagalog at filipino. and i also realized the sad fact na asians use a foreign language (english) to communicate with one another during my stint at Probe's imaging the mekong conference. imagine me struggling to understand this vietnamese's explanations and this cambodian diligently trying to understand mine. doon mas lumawak ang pag-iisip ko na di dapat natin ikinahihiya ang mga taong di perpekto ang inggles dahil hindi naman natin ito first language. di ba?

but the thing is, sometimes, people also use this as some kind of benchmark to malign other people. as if ang galing-galing nilang human beings. on the contrary, they're not being human at all if they malign people like this - tinitira ang class at language skills. e sila kaya magaling sa sariling wika? tignan natin.

konektado rin ito dun sa "phil. lit in english" eklat na nire-reject ko na ngayon. and to think these writers are not even ashamed to admit na hindi sila sanay magbasa ng filipino. tangina. nasaang bansa ba kayo?

well, anong relasyon nito sa number two? nalungkot lang ako kasi nadiskubre ko na ilang taong nagpo-pose bilang kaibigan ko ay ganito ang ugali. nakakalungkot. ayoko na silang maging kaibigan.

hindi ko alam na ang pagiging kaibigan pala ay conditional. na hindi ka nila susuportahan unless meron silang ek na sundin mo dapat o may di sila gusto sa yo na dapat mong baguhin. labo ba? okay, let's just put it this way: the first time i had a girlfriend, i excitedly told this to a close friend of mine. you know what she said? "i'm disappointed at you." and we never talked again for years after that. can't people just be happy for you dahil happy ka sa karelasyon mo, straight or gay? isn't the point there ay makita nilang masaya ang kaibigan nila?

but eventually, my friend turned out to be a really good one. she was able to exorcise her homophobia and we are now good friends like before. dito ko na-a-appreciate ang mga film chums kong tinatawag naming conconistas. the conconistas never fail me as friends. and you know what? i truly wish i could find more lesbian or bisexual friends who will be as true to me the way the conconistas have been. kahit we have never communicated closely these past few years, buo pa rin ang support nila sa akin, and i'm just so freaking touched by all that that it makes my heart cry with joy, honest. napaka-rare ng ganyang friendships at i'm glad i still have them.

and my heart also cries out of sheer sadness because i can't really say the same about majority of my lesbian friends, only a handful (one hand talaga). or at least those who posed as really good friends but the moment i hooked up with somebody they hate, they dropped me like a hot potato.

in solidarity kayo diyan. you're as fake as gucci bags in mongkok. even faker.

hindi na sana ko masa-sadden if they left me alone. but if they start dissing me and the person i hooked up with, ibang usapan na yun. write-off na ito. for good. for real.

at least some of them have been trying to get in touch again. happy ako doon. kasi naman doon talaga nakikita kung sinsero ang tao. at nakita ko yun sa kanila kaya forgivable. pero yung iba? wala, fakers lang talaga. fakers na nga, nagdadadaldal pa sa ibang tao tungkol sa reaksyon nila sa akin. now how vile is that?

ang masasabi ko lang, ang mga nagdi-dis sa akin, timatamaan talaga ng karmic retribution. baka you wanna look around you and see what happened to you, your job, your life... karma yan, chong. karma. kahit ganito ako, mabait ang nature sa akin. the more you yakyak, the more your ass gets whupped. i don't even have to snap my fingers in a circle to let that happen. it happens even while i'm asleep. i kid you not.

tangina talaga jim morrison tama ka. people are strange.

hay, tama na nga yan... on to other things...

summer is workshop season so pinuputakte ang kamaynilaan ng iba't ibang arts and crafts workshops. i'm giving three myself supposedly, pero di na namin itinuloy yung isa sa upfi kasi medyo hagard-hagardan ang byuti ever sa institusyon iyon sobra. pero masaya ako at kinansela namin ito. nakahinga ko ng maluwag, haaay...

yung isa kasi di siya open to the public. specific ito for teachers naman na sponsored ng DepEd and it's in baguio to boot so i'm looking forward to that.

the third one is the one open to the public. if you're interested, call up the ortigas foundation inc library at 6311231. it's from may22-27, pero yung may22-25 ay from 6-8pm and yung may 27 9am-4pm ang culmination peer workshop. it's a basic basic scriptwriting workshop for those who just wanna try their hand at scriptwriting for film and tv and without any background whatsoever. para bagang scriptwriting for dummies ini. it's around 3750 pesos and from the number of people texting, i thinkit's gonna be filled up soon so hurry up and inquire. look for ms kiel.

i also have one pa sana by june at naka-sked na siya (film appreciation and criticism) pero methinks i have to resked that because of my directorial work.

yes po, patuloy pa rin ang directing ko sa LOVELY DAY kaya nood kayo tuwing sabado ng umaga 10am sa gma channel7.

di ba ang ganda ng buhay ko? kasi hindi ako backstabber blabbermouth unlike some people i know... >:>

okay enough gloating. continue living.

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