what's your cap on mediocrity?

this is a survey so i hope you guys can leave an answer here or at the blogboard sa left. curious lang ako kasi ako rin, tinatanong ko ito sa sarili ko lately:

what's your cap on mediocrity?

meaning, if people are asking you to do mediocre work, will you do it?

or, will you lower your standards to do mediocre work if asked/requested/required?

hindi ko rin kasi alam ang isasagot ko riyan, e. so baka ma-contextualize niyo sa akin ito. let's say may kinalaman ito sa kabuhayan, livelihood o pinagkakakitaan mo... anesh? hindi naman ito "pera o puri" mode kasi wala ka namang isusukong bagay na ikawiwindang ng moralidad mo. ng values lang, or maybe work ethics or high standard of quality work. ganon. so ano'ng sagot?

sige na plis, need to hear you all.

link it to me one more time...chos or, ang presensya sa internet ng inyong lingkod kapag vain siya, bow at iba pang isipin..

while waiting forever and ten days for this ellen youtube clip to load (sensha na baba sahod sa guro ng peyups kaya di namin afford ang broadband sa bahay) e nagtrabaho muna kong konti. ay hindi pala, nag-attempt magtrabaho to no avail. so i just did what i haven't done for a while -- google myself. feeling vain ako ngayon e, or perhaps "waiting in vain" for this clip.

as of this writing, i checked the 20 pages na nakalista sa google na naglilista daw ng name ko or some permutation. same old same old lang din naman. the usual isis stuff is there of course, sa dami ba naman ng sinulat ko dun e. tapos the usual literary reference chenes, like ginagamit din palang part ng syllabus ang mga kwentong sinulat ko dati. kaka-flatter naman yun. tapos minsan, i run across some thingies that make me say, "wow, i said that?"

like this:

 Women’s perspective is “an engendered perspective, or what NGOs usually term ‘gender sensitivity’,” said Libay Linsangan Cantor, media and “infocom” campaigns associate of the feminist nongovernmental organization Isis International-Manila. Basically, she explained, it means women's welfare should be taken into consideration, the objective being to remove any bias against women and ensure equality with men “in anything, including news reports.”

  Among the issues that need to be discussed in the media but are hardly taken up, Cantor and Azarcon-de la Cruz mentioned reproductive rights and reproductive health and abortion. The provisions of the reproductive health bill, for example, have not been thoroughly presented, Azarcon-de la Cruz said. “Where in the bill does it say that it legalizes abortion, as its opponents claim?” Cantor also raised issues like sexuality or sexual orientation, indigenous women and other marginalized groups like farmers and the urban poor, and “issues that the mainstream media avoid so as not to irk the Catholic Church.”

ah, ang tarush ng lola mo. during my very lucid moments, ang harshness ko pala no. hehe as if i didn't know that. ching! chika lang.

read the rest here .

pero minsan nakakagulat ang mga ibang discoveries. like na-mention ako sa blog ng isang gaydude na di ko kilala. may nag-recommend sa kanya (o siya ang nag-recommend) ng short story ko sa isang tao. kewl naman.

o kaya matitisod mo ang blog ng mga colleagues mo at may excerpt na ganito:

 Pangalawang beses na itong naiatas sa akin, ang pagpili ng mga pinakamabuting kwento. Noong una, sa taong 1997, binanggit ko ang pamantayan ng pagpili—una, ang kasinsinan, kundi man inobasyon, sa gamit ng kumbensyon sa pagkukwento; at ikalawa, ang kasinsinan sa politikang tinangkang gamitin at palawigin. Tatlong taon matapos, sa taong 2000, hindi naman lubusang nagbago ang pamantayang iyon.

Sa unang pamantayan, dapat ay higit ang lamang ng “senior” sa nakakabatang manunulat. Pero kapansinpansin ang interaksyon ng mas nakakatanda at batang manunulat. Nandito sina Reynaldo Duque, at ang henerasyon ng Katha—sina Eli Rueda Guieb III, V.E. Nadera Jr. at Orlando Maliwanag. At nandito rin ang umuusbong na bagong henerasyon ng kwentista—sina Daniel ______, Mario L. Cuezon, Alwin Aguirre, Libay Linsangan Cantor, Jose Maria Bayani, Alva Pao-Pei Marano, at marami pang iba. At ito ang nakakatuwa sa kwento ng 2000: kahit pa limitado ang publikasyon, patuloy pa rin ang mayamang produksyon ng kwento. Integral ang mga publikasyong ito sa pasusustena ng buhay at pag-unlad ng panitikang Filipino.

o ha. winner talaga si lola roland ! hehe.

minsan din may ganitong quote, na medyo lumilihis ng slyyyyyt konti:

 Libay Cantor, 32, filmmaker, the Palanca Award-winning writer and lesbian advocate reveals, “Bisexuals are a marginalized group within a marginalized group.” “Bisexuals are typecast ‘bi and bye’—that they will dump you for a guy. Some advise that to have a lasting, loving relationship, do not get a bisexual for a partner. Their partners, especially the heterosexual ones, suffer. What do you do when they [bisexuals] look for a body part that you do not possess?”

 well at least binawi naman sa huli, comme ca:

All respondents noted a growing trend among the youth in favor of bisexuality. Though Pro-Gay states that there are no exact figures on the number of homosexuals and bisexuals in the Philippines, Cantor notes, “They [the youth] don’t want to be labeled. They are more open to experiment.” Falguera affirms observations on the dynamic sexual orientations of today’s youth and notes that this may erode commitment and support for the LGBT movement. However, Cantor reassures, “The rainbow represents us. There is an entire alphabet we can add to LGBT.”

anyway, read the rest here na lang.

freyndsheep ko naman ang awtor kaya keri na rin. his heart is always in the right place.

pero ito kakaiba. may ganito rin pala hehe.

 

이 책에는 필리핀에서 꽤 알려진 레즈비언 작가인 Libay Linsangan Cantor의 글도 실려 있 >다. 필리핀 최초의 대학 내 레즈비언 조직인 UPSappho

 

foreign language literal! ano kaya ibig sabihin niyan? but judging from the sappho tag, baka lezsite ito ng mga orgs sa korea or somewhere. noh? malamang.

minsan magugulat ka rin kasi biglang may excerpt na andun pangalan mo, like this one blog saying favorite niya ang fridays kasi dahil sa class ko, o kaya happy siya sa grade niya sa film niya dahil binigyan ko siya ng uno, o kaya they are beginning to like me as a person chenes -- yes folks, blogs ng students ko. heartwarming naman.

kakaiba sila. walang pakundangang magsulat. merong andun na sasabihin o magrereklamo kung bakit mababa ang grade nila sa scripts nila (binasa kaya nila ang assessment ko?) o kaya tatawagin akong fat biatch or something, at gagawa ng stage play na isa akong karakter. nakakatawa sila. creative, at nakakatuwanatutuwa naman ako kahit nilalait ako minsan dahil nakakapag-express sila ng ganun. kasi nga liberating na ang medium na ito, so i highly encourage it, kahit laitin nila ko o puriin. so sige lang, sulat lang ng sulat. para mahasa ang mga utak pa.

*

my long lost friend in paris dropped me a line in ym lately (sa wakas sabay kaming naka-online after ten thousand years), and i so envy her! she was a hug away from voldemort! ralph fiennes, that is. and in cuba, no less! ayayayayay!

 

inggit mode me! arrrr! je t'envie, pascale! hehe (did i get that conjugation right?). i hope you shagged him hahahaha! kidding!

 

arrr! mas inggit mode! the architecture and the culture! havanaaaaaa! vamos vamos tayo dun!

 

mega-inggit mode! arrrrr! i so love the cars there talaga. ganyan mga dream cars ko kasi e hehe. viva cuba! cuba libre! libre niyo ko papunta dun! hehehe.

but first, off to this place...

punjabi mc anjan ka ba? chos

yep. rajasthan or bust. more like lipad naaaa! yebah india! haha yes, i got it. salamat.

pero kung kayanin din ng powers, paris or bust din. maybe in a year's time, or when i finally get my MA finished and that's my gift sa sarili ko. anesh? puwede. hmmm... pero mas bet ko ang havana e. wat u tink?

a friend is going to paris pala next week. well, i hope she discovers what she's looking for, finally...kahit nasa ibang continent yun. gudlak sa yo, mare. hirap ng sitwasyong yan! hay...

another friend dropped a line sa ym din kanina. sa denmark naman siya. stay well there indi! i'll wait for the postcard! :) have fun! kaya lang ano'ng hitsura ng 4:30pm sunset? patingin picture!

hello din sa friendships in tokyo! we really had a blast, dre, no? sarap. balik kayo agad! now nah! :)

and since we're at it, hello na rin sa friendships in nooyawk! :) stay warm, girls. as in, really warm, ha, you know what i mean hehe.

ponpokopon, sana nakabili ka ng komiks. andito ka pa ba?

thanks din lhen sa solidarity statement hehe. mabuhei! 

sex and (love)life, or the end of it

okay ba?
 

What kind of sex are you?

You are Sex in bed Take this quiz! Quizilla | Join | Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

bed lang? i can also be sex on the floor! hahahhaha. sex on the chair? hahaha. ayuz.

i would have preferred a woman to woman photo, but since the world is still predominantly hetero, this will do. at least mukhang effeminate yung mhin. and yes, that is a nice position. it works ahahahah chos!

hay i'm such a dyke, i know. been with the company of fellow dykes kasi for the past days and i'm truly enjoying it. iba talaga ang company eh, kahit hindi kayo super close pero friendships pa rin. that's what i'm talking about talaga (see previous blog rants about this), kakaibang camaraderie of like-minded peeps. hay...

attended my friend's housewarming party last night and it was such a blast. sometimes, when single dykes hold housewarmings like that, it usually means they just broke up with someone and moved out on their own. i felt like that a couple of years back when i decided to move on with my life alone. memories came flashing back because of the similarities my friend underwent. kakaiba talaga ang parallelisms ng lesbian lives.

minsan talaga, there are times when you have to face life alone. tinanong nga ng isang acquaintance kahapon na ano ang balak ng mga tao pagtanda. another acquaintance kasi was telling her story of coming out, on national newspapers, sa parents. and then her dad approached her and told her to get a girl and settle down with her so somebody will take care of her daw. haha kakaiba, ang sweet.

ako sabi ko, prepared naman ako to grow old alone. there's really nothing wrong with that. i want to do a lot of things and travel all over and experience lots of things kaya hindi na ako nag-iilusyon ng mga settling down chenelyn. sabi ko mas sine-secure ko lang ang savings para may pension plan insurance chenes ako pagtanda. saka ayoko nang magpatali sa mga settling down chenelyn dahil if i do, then i wouldn't be able to do the things i really want to do in life. tama na yung naging stagnant ako for several years to take care of a relationship. i figured the relationship should take care of me naman this time if i have one. kung walang ganung option, e di wala. kaya happy lang. sabi nga ni cole porter sa song niya, anything goes.

hindi naman ako nalulungkot o natatakot mag-isa. in fact, kampante akong mag-isa, just like my gay friend dati who said na ayaw niya ng commitment lalo na yung may katabi matulog sa kama. hay bading talaga. of course having someone would be a blast naman e. pero like i said, hindi nga ako nagpapa-pressure sa homonormativity ng local lesbian scene na kelangan may partner ka kundi loser ka chenes. pero alam mo, sa dami ng nagtatapos na relasyon left and right now, nag-iiba na rin ang homonormativity na ito e, nacha-challenge na -- at least ng mga ka-age range at ka-adbokasiya ko. sabi nga ng isang friend kagabi, nato-trauma na ang mga tao sa relasyon lalo na't years and counting ang mga pinanggalingan. yung isa, 15 years. yung isa, 10. ako, 5. meron ding 3 and 4.  grabe lang anesh? e kasi naman, what's the point of holding on kung wala na talagang patutunguhan ang relasyon, lalo na if it doesn't serve the both of you at isa lang ang may ganansiya sa samahan? unfair. ako, ang una kong barometer lagi ay kung di na ko nakakapagsulat creatively and actively ng gusto kong sulatin kaya ngayon, bumabalik na yung sabi sa akin nina peach dati na "nagtatae ako ng storya." oo nga, gusto ko itong mode na ito. kung magagawa ko ito while being with someone who understands what this is about, what i am about, and what my art is all about, e di bet! if i find someone like that, puwede na ulit buksan ang option na settling down mode, pero hindi na yung usual settling down na with a house, savings chenes chenes na napaka-hetero na set-up pliz. if she's a fellow gypsy like me, then go! we can trot around the world and create our individual art. happy di ba?

yung friend kong nagpa-housewarm, masaya siya ngayon kasi nadidiskubre niya na marami pa palang options available for her. yun nga ang nawawala kapag nabulagan tayo sa isang relasyong one-way ang arugaan: di natin nakikita what's best for us. and i'm glad she's seeing that now. about time, too.

so with what's happening in our lives, our advocacies, our art and our work, i'd say we dykes are all in good hands (good fingers? hehe) so far. and i'm so glad. for those who don't understand or get that, get out of our radar, please, kahit kabaro ka pa namin. like i said, like-minded peeps dapat. if you're broadcasting from a different frequency altogether, look for a freaking new frequency band and get off ours.

saka yung mga nakikisakay lang, i just wanna say one thing: lesbianism is not a marketing angle; it's a way of life. it's OUR life, so stop using it and selling it like you really understand it. we don't need a spokesperson; we already have some. look for your own stories to tell and stop using us as material.

blogging sexy back -- char!

obvious ba from the title na ang current tripping natin ngayon ay music tripping or, as my generation aptly said "ST: sound trip." yezzz, downloads galore na naman ang lola niyo. kasi ewan ko ba, pero the last week of last year e bigla akong nakaramdam ng pagkasawa sa lahaaaaat ng mga mp3 music ko dito sa chorva ko. kaya i needed to look for new stuff lang, mga na-overlook before at mga new additions. so here we are. kaya tambay na naman tayo ng desktop kapag nagkaroon ng pagkakataon.

isa pang last week of last year tripping ay isang trip literal, sa la union with my kindred spirit friendships. hay naku, tama talaga ang feel ko sa aking new year's resolutions chenelyn, na ang tunay na kasiyahan at pakikipagkaibigan ay matatagpuan sa mga katsokaran sa kababaihang tunay. yan ang happy thought ko for the year, at iyan na rin ang gagawin kong gabay sa buhay for the next decade or so, because it has been proving me right time and time again.

my good chums dré and yari went home for the holidays pala from tokyo. met up with them and they had plans pala of going to la union for a day the next day, so syempre sumabit na ko kasi san juan surfing yun noh. we rented an innova which was cool to drive. man, i miss driving lalo na long drives ng mga road trips na ganun. 

ang mga kasama namin ay yung sis ni yari na si renalyn, yung nakilala ni dré sa phd niya dati na si lani and her jowa, and good ol' bulak who provided us with the needed roadtrip humor. sarap! sayang lang at di ko nadala yung digicam ko. pictures galore sana.

sayang lang at nung araw na nandun kami, uber lakas ng current kaya hanggang bodyboarding lang nagawa ng mga byuti namin. hindi na nagparenta ng surfboard ang surf shop kaya luz. dibale, nagpaitim na lang kami sa shore. as usual, di na naman ako gaanong umitim nyemas. pero tip ni bulak, gawing tanning lotion ang pale pilsen! that's what she did. even daw ang tan e. hm, sige sa susunod siguro. baka kasi bigla akong maghanap ng pulutan e hehe.

nakakatawa nung road trip. may dala silang game called taboo. you guess a word or phrase but there are words listed there na you can't say to describe the word. ang saya palang laruin nun. some crazy quotes:

ME: [guessing the word "hockey"] umm, ummm, NFL!

THEM: sports! team!

ME: the middle letter!

THEM: football!

ME: no! no, uh... NFL! NFL!

THEM: football nga!

hahaha ang tanga ko. NHL pala.

YARI: um, um...shiiiit! [dahil mahirap yung word]

BULAK: manure!

hahahah. lagi yon. ilang beses sinabi to.

ito naman, alaskado si yari kay bulak.

YARI: um...um....um....um...um...pass!

hahaha after spending 1/5th of the time e ipa-pass rin pala! 

LANI: um... it's parallel to the street where we are!

DRE: [nagtataka, dahil nagda-drive nga kami] huh? highway?

LANI: no, no. parallel to our street, where the jeeps are.

DRE: national highway?

LANI: no, no...

ME: [frustrated na] nyeta ano yan!!!

DRE: [frustrated na rin] left lane?

LANI: no, no...

ME: [finally, after ten thousand years, i figured it out] ay gaga! e taga-lime ka, so ano yan, olive?

true enough, she was referring pala to the street where she lives in marikina. we discussed that earlier kasi na pareho kaming taga-marikina at nagtanungan kami ng kung saan nakatira etc kaya niya nabanggit. di naman sinabi na marikina, ngengortz.

RENALYN: um, um, what libay does!

YARI: writer!

DRE: teacher!

RENALYN: no, no! um, what libay is!

BULAK: single!

hahahaha natawa ko dito. the night before, we were discussing kasi na freelance writer din ako. the word pala is "freelance" hahaha.

hehe ang dami pang quips ng larong yun pero nalimutan ko na yung iba.

miss namin tuloy yung balderdash days namin sa lingayen naman with other like-minded friends...

speaking of funny words, eto ang da best quips of my friends na pinadala over the holidays naman.

from my tagalog-speaking swiss friend bianca: "gloria stops con-ass, delays con-con, reskeds asean summit, so b4 she postpones new year too, let me greet u a happy and gma free new year!" haha ayuz!

profound naman ke xty: "pagsalubong sa 2007, manumbalik nawa tayo sa manlilikha at ibanyuhay ang mga panata: maglingkod sa kapwa, maging tanod-lupa; maghasik ng payapa, humabi ng awit at tula; magmahal, tumawa, makibaka, umasa sa katiyakan ng paglaya!"

pero ang pinaka-winner ay yung galing kay brigs:"may you enjoy this magical time of the year when all your money disappears! happy holidays!"

word. hahaha.

man, i miss bodyboarding naman. have to go back there! sheeeet.